Blossoming Feminine Wisdom: Celebrating Life

Today is the 27th anniversary of the birth of my first child, a son who we named after his father, Jeffrey Dwaine Buckalew, Jr.  It has been nearly ten years since his passing.  Although I have grown quite a bit through the pain of his death, it seems a bit unusual to me that I would find myself celebrating on this day. I choose to see my celebration as an affirmation that I am truly beginning to ascend from the depths of my grief. 

Today I am grateful for the gift of having shared in the life and the legacy of my first born son. Although Jeff’s time here was way too short for my preference, I choose to celebrate his life and the cherished memories of him that will live forever in my heart.  I choose to celebrate with trust that all is as it should be, that this conscious choice of celebrating will continue to assist me in RISING above my grief and that it will also assist me in RELEASING myself back into life. 

I choose to LAUGH,

I choose to LOVE,

and I choose to LIVE!

With love, honor and gratitude for ALL of life’s gifts, however they are disguised …
Lisa

I’ve often heard about opportunities that come around “Once in a Blue Moon” but until a few years ago I thought it was just a figure of speech as I had never *seen* a blue moon. A Blue Moon is the name given to a Full Moon occurring for a second time in one calendar month. Blue Moons occur about once every two and a half years.

In 2009 we experienced one Full Moon on December 2 and today, December 31 we are experiencing the Blue Moon which is a second Full Moon this month. Today also happens to be New Years Eve – a day where we are all collectively perched on the edge of one cycle (2009) preparing to step together into the flow of the next (2010).

The Blue Moon represents a ‘rare opportunity’ that can also be seen as the ‘chance of a lifetime’. The celebration of the New Year represents a chance to look back at our past, see what no longer serves us and ‘resolve’ with ‘New Years Resolutions’ to make changes in our actions in order to align ourselves more with what we believe will create peace in our selves and in our lives.

TODAY IS THE PERFECT DAY to accept the rare, energetic gifts of the combination of the Blue Moon and the celebration of the dawn of the New Year, by allowing them to assist me in setting clear, purposeful, inspired intentions for myself. These intentions, when nurtured with INSPIRED ACTION will assist me to EVOLVE into the person God intended me to be, thereby making each and every day the PERFECT DAY filled with rare opportunity.

The tag on my Yogi tea bag this morning said, “By honoring your words, you are honored.” What words do I choose to honor myself with for this New Year?

I love myself unconditionally. By acknowledging, accepting and nurturing the child within me as I would nurture one of my own children or grandchildren I honor the gift of life that I have been given.

I provide myself with quiet, safe space to explore who I am, to discover, to breathe, to ask questions and to be peaceful enough inside to hear the answers.

I provide myself with artistic outlets such as photography, 3D modeling, sculpting, drawing, music and painting. I honor my gifts in the areas of the arts and I provide loving encouragement in my creative explorations that assist in me in discovering new avenues of communication and expression.

I take joy in providing myself with healthy, whole food and regular exercise whether it be walking in the woods, dancing, Yoga or walking around the block. I allow myself to awaken and blossom into the gift of my physical body with activities that energize and assist me to align my Mind, Body and Spirit so that my physical presence becomes a strong and balanced vessel that carries the precious light of who I am and who God intended me to be.

I create loving relationships by being as compassionate a friend to myself as I am to others. I contribute, assist, support, forgive and encourage others while creating healthy boundaries that lovingly contribute, assist, support, forgive and encourage me. By loving myself as I do others I create peace within myself and am therefore at peace with others.

I welcome each day as a new beginning in which I release that which no longer serves me and allow myself to grow beyond who I currently know myself to be. Each new beginning brings with it the opportunity to strengthen myself and therefore strengthen my contribution to the world in honor of all beings - human, creature and botanical. My commitment to myself assists me in remaining grounded while I take both leadership and supportive action in community causes and events that resonate with me.

I joyfully commit to myself and nurture the seeds of my vision with daily practice in which I honor my Mind with education and introduction to inspired ideas and people, I honor my Body with nourishing food and energizing physical activity that creates harmony in my physical presence and I honor my Spirit with love, self respect, forgiveness, compassion and acceptance of myself and of others.

As I joyfully welcome 2010 I look at every day as a PERFECT DAY filled with rare opportunities and chances of a lifetime. Let the celebration begin!

with love and gratitude ...
Lisa

I feel sad today but I am at peace with the sadness as it reminds of my capacity to love.

My oldest beagle, Lucky is showing signs of her age with specific symptoms indicating it’s nearly her ‘time’ to go. She had an alarming episode yesterday that really pushed this reality home. I feel deep sadness.

In experiencing the pain at the thought of ‘today being her last day’ and crying the tears that came with the thought, I became aware of the driving force behind them. I began to hear the words the pain was speaking more clearly and realized that this driving force behind my tears was scolding me for all of the ways I could have loved her better.

I experienced this scolding fully, allowing it to happen, but rather than fall into the hole it was so happily digging for me I realized that scolding myself is not loving myself. Once conscious of this, I remembered that my experiences are based on my choices. For this and ALL experiences I choose love.

With this choice, I was able to ‘step outside myself’ a bit and observe. I began listening to the scolding words for clues that would assist me in making the switch from this place of pain into a place of love. It occurred to me that this experience was somehow an important part of my journey into healing and I wondered how I would be able to learn this life lesson within the turmoil of all of this emotion. The answer came clearly. Start by forgiving yourself.

I stopped, took a deep and loving breath of forgiveness and then asked myself, “Is it true? Could I have loved her better?”

Of course it is true. There is always room to love bigger and better.

The next question, “Did I love her? Did she know I loved her?”

Yes, I did and yes, she did. She’s a quirky but happy dog and being the alpha, from her point of view I imagine she’s felt like a queen.

The next question, “But what about the times you hated her?”

What I really hated was my inability to communicate with her, that I had little control over her behavior, and that I did not make the time to strengthen that relationship into one of mutual trust and respect.

The next question, “Can you forgive yourself?”

I loved her to the best of my ability at the time. Yes, I can and I do forgive myself.

Allowing forgiveness brought more love. I remembered that life lesson’s when accepted as life gifts are much more powerful and began remembering with love all of the gifts within the life of my little Lucky-dog … the ones she left on the carpet and the ones she left in my heart.

After a trip to the vet this morning Lucky is resting in her crate. Her condition over the next few days will indicate whether it is indeed her time. I am thankful for this opportunity to discover the gifts of life and love within something as painful (and inevitable) as death.

I realized today that while I have always considered myself to be a loving human being I have barely scratched the surface of my capacity for love, AND that this process of death is actually a huge part of the process of opening my heart to love, AND that this opening of my heart gains momentum with my conscious choice to love and forgive myself.

Today is a perfect day full of love … although my heart aches with the pain of letting go I trust in the process of LIFE … and I trust that today is a PERFECT DAY full of love.

With love and gratitude to my BraveHeart Sisters. I am so thankful for the shining examples of love and inspiration YOU are!

Lisa

--
Edited by LisaBuckalew at 01/08/2010 11:22 AM EST

Thank you, my Sisters for your love and encouragement.
Lucky made her transition yesterday. She went peacefully and surrounded by LOVE. ♥

with love and gratitude for ALL of life's GIFTS,
Lisa

This journey into self, into allowing ourselves to be who we are, with unconditional love, acceptance and encouragement is one that brings many challenges, constantly pushing us to stretch beyond what we know to be true. This stretching first requires Love, and then Courage. Love opens the door and Courage assists us to walk through.

Thank you my Sisters for being examples of Love that I sometimes cannot allow within myself. Thank you for the reminders, the time spent, the conversations, the messages, the blog posts, the videos, the sharing in forums and emails, text messages, phone calls and walks in the woods.

Thank you for the reminders that Love blooms everywhere, we are simply required to allow it space to grow.

Thank you my Sisters, for being shining examples of Courage that I sometimes cannot allow within myself. Thank you for the examples of overcoming the ‘impossibility of dreams’, with Love and inspired action, of feeling the fear and doing it anyway, of dedication to being in service, in sisterhood.

Thank you for examples of living in purpose with passion, reminders that although individual journeys may be quite different there is a common driving force, an undercurrent that carries many things, among them, the essence of Courage. Each separate and individual action is connected through this undercurrent into something much greater than the sum of the individual parts. Each action is a petal on the flower, a portion of the definition of sisterhood which when unwrapped and allowed as a gift is revealed to me today as Courage.

Thank you for having the Courage to listen to your own personal callings, to honor them, nurture them, for allowing them to be in service as true examples of the freedom in following your hearts voice. I aspire to follow your examples and live in the freedom of my hearts true voice.

Thank you, my sisters. No matter what our relationship; past, present or future, there is one thing that remains true.

You are all my sisters.

I love you.

Lisa

My purpose is to heal.

In gratitude and with love for ALL in my life that assists me to heal. I am grateful for the faces that the energies of healing choose to manifest in my life. I am humbled before the many forms that the energy of healing chooses to take. I am in the moment with the essence of healing.

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!

Being Inspiration in Action,
Lisa

My Dear Sisters,

Please accept my apologies. I am reposting one of my blog entries below and and making sure comments are enabled. I must have somehow ticked the box to not allow comments on this post and I can't find a way to un-tick it, so I am reposting it.

I have received several emails and messages on this subject through which I realized that some of you have a lot of your own personal wisdom to share about your own awakening to the power of your feminine energy.

Please feel free to share here as you shared with me privately. Again, I apologize for inadvertently disallowing comments.

"See" you on the Core Inner Circle call tonight!

Ahhhhhhhh!!!

with love and gratitude for my incredible BraveHeart Sisters!
Lisa


Funny how life works ...

I am a woman. I am a woman yet I have been surrounded by SO much masculine energy in my life. I am beginning to understand that there are many ways this has affected me. There are many layers of belief that are interconnected over many interconnecting layers of my life and how I live it AND more importantly that this masculine way of doing things, this masculine energy, has been the foundation of the tools I use and the methods I automatically implement when making choices in my every day life. This would be great if I were a man - men's tools seem to work well for men. Yet I am a woman.

I attended the Core Inner Circle call last night where Ellie shared more wonderful tools for tapping into our feminine wisdom. It's always amazing to me how the information on these calls affirms where I am, gives me a deeper understanding of how I have been operating on auto-pilot and then assists me to stretch and to grow to know mySelf better. With these new tools ... tools that honor my feminine energy, I am slowly, consistently and lovingly learning more and more about mySelf each day. I am learning how to be Me.

I love, admire and respect the men in my life and I appreciate masculine energy in many, many ways ... yet I do not wish to embody it mySelf. I am a woman and my life's purpose is to be as God created me, to heal and nurture my own feminine energy, embodying the full essence of what it means to be Me - to blossom into my own divine feminine wisdom - and through this awakening be in service to women who choose to heal and blossom into their own divine feminine wisdom.

Today, in assessing my To-Do List and what I am giving my attention to I feel a deep sense of peace ... "It is what it is" and "I am what I am." as Ellie says it and as my son Jeff used to say, "It's all good! Enjoy the ride!"

with love and gratitude,
Lisa

Life has been busy and broken into a fast paced flow of intersecting situations that have been coming at her from everywhere at once. So many places to heal ...

Lined up outside the door is the line of many faces representing the areas in which she is required to heal. Each of these faces carries a message with it that she is required to receive with grace so that it may be accepted as part of allowing the full essence of who she is to emerge and to blossom.

She receives the messengers one by one and with the guidance of the Healing Council she assists with the integration of healing into each of these areas.

Occasionally, one of the messengers carries something they feel is so urgent that they storm the door, ignoring their place in line, breathlessly expressing a need that must be dealt with immediately.

The messengers voice and the message delivered raise alarm inside of her. A big one. There is a depth to this message that permeates all of her being. She knows this because she feels the little girl in her, her humanness, wanting to run and hide in the safety of the woods.

Wisdom, in her place at the center of the Council knows ... like she knows, like she knows, like she knows ... that all is well.

It is what it is.

It's all good.

Relax and be in the flow.

Strengthen your muscles.

Enjoy the ride.

Curious as to why the little girl is running she follows her for a bit assessing the best way to support her with love and divine guidance. She observes the layers of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual pain that the little girl travels though while she runs to the safety of her cocoon. Recognizing the essence of healing in each of them she returns to the present moment in the council chamber knowing what to do.

She thanks the messenger with a warm smile that carries the essence of a loving embrace. "Thank you for trusting your voice and delivering this message. I understand the urgency you brought with it. I will take care of this for you. Run now and be in Joy. Relax and be who you are. I will take care of this for you."

Satisfied, the messenger relaxes into the healing energy of council. She feels the shift. Preparing to release. Preparing to fly ...

She adds, "Please deliver a message to the faces outside the door that thanks them for their patience. I am honored to be a vessel through which the wisdom of healing can be integrated and I wish to honor each of their messages to the fullest with the same attention I am giving to the urgent message you just delivered. Tell them that I stand in gratitude for their patience."

Wisdom closes her eyes and with her breath receives the gifts of the message.

Tight at first ... Relax your shoulders and breathe ...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... That's better ... In the feminine flow ...

What am I required to do?

...

I am afraid.

All is good. All is well. Enjoy the ride.

...

I am afraid.

...

She knows what she must do ... like she knows, like she knows, like she knows ... she has done this many times before.

The first step always requires the most courage ...

What if acceptance permeates my belief system so deeply that I am not even aware of all of the 'ties' it has to my self-esteem? Am I required to discover, reveal, process and release each one individually or is it possible to be as though I have truly been reborn and release them all at once?

In asking this question I am not coming from a place of avoidance as much as I am from a place of expediency and efficiency. I want to move forward. To evolve. I want to surrender to who I am and trust that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

I understand that there is something I am getting - some psychological reason that I am hanging on to these old beliefs. I feel that it is related to feeling safe as I see evidence of issues of safety and privacy surfacing in my life.

Its like I'm seeking a safe place to be me in the physical world and there's always a reason I find to stop. The reasons appear as invasions of my private space, the phone ringing, interruptions, etc. I find myself wanting to escape to the beach or to the woods. To solitude.

And then the excuse becomes "when I have private', quiet, safe space then I will be me." What if that never happens? What if, in this physical world there really is no quiet or safe space? What if the space and safety I seek is inside of me? What if its always there, easily accessible, even in a crowded room? I am simply required to create it.

I keep hearing Dr Sugar saying "if you want to" in relation to my weight and letting go. I realize that is also true about everything. Its as simple as "if you want to".

I want to.

What's next?

It’s been nearly a year since my Blue Moon Affirmations where I set my intentions for the year … wow, time certainly flies … I am grateful for all of the gifts in my life that are assisting me to let go of who I currently know my Self to be and remember who I am. Like the dragonfly, I am transforming.



There are so many things to be grateful for that sometimes become so difficult to see in going about my daily life wrapped up in the many layers of who I think I am. Some days I observe that I am grateful for the hot water in the shower, which is always there on demand when I need it … I take my time and I allow my Self to really feel how nice it is to stand under it. Some days I barely recall the shower as I get caught up in following my mind doing what it does best - thinking.

When I am able to Be, I am not traveling on some past/future mind-trip yet I am allowing my Self to fully experience life in the moment for what it is. I become aware of just how much there is to be grateful for and of how everything … every person and every living thing … is connected. I begin to hear the voice of my soul just a bit stronger. It is the energy of gratitude that assists me to know me.

The more I allow my Self to let go of doing and simply be, the more me is revealed. It’s as though the experience of consciousness, however small a moment in time, unwraps a layer of paper revealing more and more of the gift that is my life.

From day to day, this unwrapping of the gift of my life sometimes happens so slowly that to me, it isn’t noticeable. Yet when I allow the energy of gratitude and change my perspective a bit, looking back over the past year reveals a blossoming that is measurable.

Although a very personal and solitary process, this blossoming does not occur in isolation from the world. I am filled with gratitude for the relationships that I have and the people who are and who will be a part my life. Every relationship, every interaction with another human being assists me to Be. Allowing the gifts in some relationships is effortless and in others a bit more challenging, yet no matter what the wrapping, they are all gifts.

It is truly wonderful to Be on this journey of life walking beside so many incredible giving, loving and affirming people. I am grateful for YOU! Thank you.

With love and Thanks-giving,
Lisa

After sampling a few of the plethora of apps available on Facebook I’ve made the conscious choice to only install and keep a manageable few and only choose the ones that feel aligned with Living on Purpose. I am enjoying the Farmville Life as I find in it a way to stay connected to nature in those times when I am doing the work that brings me inside from the outdoors. Within participating in the game of Farmville an additional and perhaps unintended connection is made.



There is a wonderful glitch in the system between Facebook, Farmville and my Blackberry that I truly hope they do not fix. Whenever one of my fellow farmers and Farmville neighbors posts a gift on my wall the Facebook/Zynga game system sends an alert to my email where the subject line reads something like “Farmer Joanne posted a gift on your wall ...” while on the Blackberry/Facebook connection the subject line in the alert reads “Happy Birthday …”.

This really confused me several months ago when it first started happening as it wasn’t my birthday at all. I couldn’t understand why in October and November I was getting all of these “Happy Birthday” messages on my phone. My birthday was in September. As I started connecting the dots I began to observe that the “Happy Birthday” messages only came from people who had also posted a birthday wish on my wall on my official birthday.

Through daily Farmville Happy Birthday alerts I was reconnected to those who celebrated me with me on the anniversary of the day of my birth. Through these daily connections I then began to awaken to something deeper … that EVERY day can not only carry the message of a birthday it can also bring the gifts of a birthday. Each day holds the possibility of being a RE-Birthday if I am simply willing to allow it to be. I can choose to celebrate my Self and be RE-Birthed each and every morning when I awaken to the blank canvas of a new day ... and ... whether they intend to be or not my Farmville friends are right there celebrating with me.

The glitch in the system is becoming less consistent and the Farmville/Blackberry alert subject lines are changing a bit so it’s possible that these daily “Happy Birthday” wishes will come to an end soon. I almost don’t want to share the details of the glitch publicly lest I call attention to it as a software bug that goes on a list of things that require a patch. I’d like things to stay just as they are in this regard, thank you!

I am grateful for the daily “Happy Birthday” wishes from my sisters and brothers, Farmville Farmers, Neighbors and Friends. My connection with you is assisting me in my choice to Live my Life on Purpose. It is my birthday wish that sharing the details of a “Happy Birthday” system glitch honors and acknowledges my appreciation for the gifts YOU in my life

Happy Birthday to YOU!

With much love,
Lisa

What Would You Say by Trailer Choir

My son Josh shared this song with me on his way out the door this morning. As I listened, I felt increasing waves of emotion roll through me with each line of the song. The words and the music seemed to touch so many things … all at once.

When my tears started and Josh moved to comfort me, I said “It’s okay. I’m okay. This was just what I needed to hear today … the tears are perfect and cleansing ... I’m not hurting I am just releasing old bullshit through the tears … clearing the way for the journey ahead. It’s all perfect … Thank you for sharing this with me today … it’s all perfect.”

Thank you, Joshua. I love you and I am honored to be your mom.

What would I say?



What would you say?

...

There are so many shifts happening in my life and so many ways that I am opening to and blossoming into my own, inherent, feminine wisdom. There has been transformation in many aspects of my life. Some I’ve accepted joyfully and some were and still are a bit more challenging to get through. Collectively though, they’ve ALL collaborated to bring me to right here … where I am right now ... experiencing a joy-full, peace-full and beauty-full moment in my own evolution.

To me, transforming means that I fully realize that I am not bound by the "rules" of yesterday. This realization allows me to sever the connection and “pull the plug” on yesterday with the understanding that the severing of the connection does not have to come from a place of rejection, but rather it can come from a place of acceptance. Acceptance brings peacefulness.

I can now remind my Self that “it was what it was” in “that moment” but that moment is over now; that this is a NEW moment with no attachment to prior moments; that it is what it is … right now; to be in this moment not with the attachment to all of the moments that have come before but to really BE in THIS moment with the WISDOM of all of the moments before.

I am beginning to see how this acceptance can assist me to celebrate every moment, in the moment, whether it feels joyful or is challenging. The acceptance of all of them leads to inner peace.

I wonder ... is transformation is a deeper level of blossoming or is it perhaps an entirely new bud on the same flower? Or perhaps both?

What does transformation mean to you?

with love and BraveHeart hugs,
Lisa

I commit to revealing and nurturing my true inner light, to gratefully embracing and gracefully rising above life's challenges, to choosing FAITH over FEAR and LOVE over HATE, to recognizing and supporting what's right ... with me and with the world ... vs focusing on what's wrong, to being open to redefining and active in recreating who I currently know my Self to be and to transforming and evolving into truly BEing the change I wish to see in the world.

Happy New Year to all of my BraveHeart Sisters. May 2012 bring you Peace. ♥

~Lisa

I just returned from having the most awesome massage. It feels so good to be loving my Self in such a supportive way. I love my life!

What do you love about today?

with humble gratitude for the gift of my life,
Lisa