rosekirkland's Blog: Change

Most of us have dissatisfactions in our lives at times. However, as much as we wish things were different, we are still resistant to doing something about it to change the dissatisfaction. Change is difficult for many people--especially those of us who grew up in dysfunctional families; simply because we like to stay in our comfort zone.

Most of us do not like to feel uncomfortable because it feels good to have that feeling of security and things being the same as dysfunctional as it may be. It gives us a sense of knowingness that we know how things stand; and we like that.

We prefer things to be safe and secure. Even little changes that we choose for ourselves can often require months of emotional adjustment-- like having a baby or moving to a new area. However, when change happens that's out of our control such as being laid off from a job or a partner asking for a divorce; we often feel overwhelmed. In addition, when the world economic structure falls apart, like it has recently, it can look like an insurmountable crisis.

When you're not aware, change can make you feel worried, stressed, and uncomfortable. RELAX!

On an unconscious level, change can make you feel vulnerable and out of control, which reminds you of negative experiences from childhood when you were small and vulnerable. If you're not aware, you can unknowingly go into defensive, reactive behavior, expecting the worst and protecting yourself from your perceived enemies.

Fortunately, with awareness you can transform those negative responses. You can choose, instead, to see change as a gift which can “change the course of your life”. In addition, by making that choice, you can open to the amazing opportunities that change offers you and that is to-- learn and grow in the process.

So, what can you do when the world you know falls apart? Why not learn to ride the waves of life instead of trying to control everything? Yeah, that’s right—don’t resist.

Two of the things that you can do to make peace with change are:

1. Surrender and let the Universe take charge of your life. The Universe knows much better than us what will be for our best and highest good.

2. Stay open to the life lessons that the Universe wants to teach you. The Universe always wants you to learn about self-acceptance, self-esteem, and self-actualization. In other words, let yourself trust that everything is in divine order for your life.

Whatever you do, don't forget to stay open to the good the Universe has in store for you. When you look back ten years from now, you may be saying, "Even though I thought that the world had turned upside down; those were the best years of my life!"

Change is always working for our good!

"I am in the world to change the world”. —Mureil Rukreyser in her poem, “Women as Market”

In a very real sense, each of us is in the world to change it. Perhaps it's just our little corner of the world in our own immediate family. So, we raise a child to be a caring health care professional, a scientist, or a teacher. Perhaps we take on an issue and in some small way; we influence the masses like Martin Luther King, Jr. did with the Civil Rights Movement. This movement was due to all of those who supported the movement. That change has affected where we now are in the world. For example: We’ve just had an African-American become President in the United States! This happened because some people wanted change 40 years ago. Sometimes, the change is very slight in our immediate world, but is still very significant. When we change-- the entire world changes.

For example: One person can decide that they will no longer allow anger to control some of their reactions. Then, that person doesn’t allow themselves to get angry in traffic; and instead allows someone to move into their lane ahead of them. That new idea, courtesy, or change catches on and affects someone else. The world is so tied together that no one truly operates alone. Our actions and reactions affect everybody else. We just don’t realize how powerful we are. When we change, everybody and everything else around us changes!

For many years, I’ve literally seen people change their lives dramatically for the better. It was as if they had become a different person entirely. Here is what each of us can do if we want our world to improve, to live a more productive happy life, or if we want more prosperity, or better relationships: WE CAN DECIDE we want to truly self-actualize and “BE” the change we want to see in the world.

EXERCISE:
At the close of each day think about the good deeds, you’ve done during the day. They can be very simple. They may include the meal you prepared in love for your loved ones, the extra effort you took, the person you let go ahead of you in the crowded busy supermarket, or the door you held open for someone. Think about as many as you can remember each evening at bedtime. If you are so inclined, it’s beneficial to write down how these little good deeds made you FEEL. The most important aspect of this exercise is to remember the good deeds and focus on the GOOD feeling that doing them provided. Take these thoughts and feelings into your sleep with an attitude of gratitude. Adopt an attitude that you are truly grateful for the opportunity to help others and give the service of yourself.

Doing this may seem ridiculous and some of you may have already objected with thoughts such as:
1. "What about the guy who doesn't appreciate what I do”?
2. “What about all those people out there who just don't care”?

First of all, you can’t control what anybody out there does or thinks. We are only responsible for ourselves. Then, remain focused on what YOU can contribute to the world. It’s a choice you are making that will only attract more of what you want and will serve in a self-fulfilling way.

In other words, focus on how good it feels when someone helps you for no reason. Take this feeling and give it to others with an attitude of contributing value. When you do this, without the expectation of reward, the real rewards come back to you.

Life truly does get better and better one person at a time--and “IT ALWAYS BEGINS WITH US”!

How to Fix a Boring Bio- Part 1
By: Nancy Marmolejo on: Jan 1,2009

In: How to Write a Bio, Online Branding and Visibility, Powerful PR Tips, Social Media Strategies

http://vivavisibilityblog.com/how-to-fix-a-boring-bio-part-1/

How to Write a Bio, Online Branding and Visibility, Powerful PR Tips, Social Media Strategies

Author: Nancy Marmolejo

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you".---Brian Tracy

Wow! If somebody had just taught me this principle and concept when I was a child--how I would have not spent so much time reacting to other people. Also, I would not have spent so much time trying to change those situations that could not changed.

However, the truth is that I was supposed to learn this concept later in life which I did beginning in 1982 when my world fell apart. I "dared to change" and this mindset has made my life so much easier.

However, I still come across people that have not learned this success strategy. Victim mentality is so prevalent in our country as well as the issue of codepency where people want to control everything and have not learned to "live and let live".

Learning to master change in order to change the course of your life is so important. Change is a part of life and we also need to learn lessons of flexiblity and rigidity by letting go of the need to control those things you cannot control.

We’ve been taught that change is hard. Hard work that will make feel uncomfortable, unstable, and uneasy. Is it true? Well, I think it is really a matter of mind. We can choose to see change as difficult and resist it or we can embrace it and know that if we just go with; it will take us to places we’ve never been. Change is just that - change.

It’s an opportunity to learn something different, see something from a new perspective, and allow new opportunities to emerge. By giving change the meaning of it being difficult is just an illusion conjured up in your own mind. So, learning how to take responsibity for this attitude by only taking control of how we respond to change is what needs to be mastered... This strategy will help you succeed in relationships and you'll create "personal success" for your life.

ACTION STEP:
Be very honest with yourself and see if you are controlling your attitude towards what happens to you and learn to control that.

Rose Kirkland
BECOME A SAVVY ONLINE SHOPPER. Find bargain prices on everything. Instantly find what you’re looking for. Save thousands!
http://www.successwiththegenie.com

Has anyone ever pointed out one of your negative behaviors to you and given you some feedback as to how you “showing up”? Has this made you feel like you really do need to change?

Well, a few years ago, I did some phenomenal trainings at: www.millennium3education.com in Dallas, Texas. The trainings are all about transformation and we were given an extensive amount of feedback on how we were “showing up”.

Sometimes, it was very uncomfortable to hear this constructive criticism which could come across as being very harsh.

It is human nature to not want to hear the truth of how we are “BEING”. Sometimes, our dark shadow behaviors were pointed out on how we were “showing up” with our negative behaviors such as being manipulative, bossy, shy, arrogant, having a need to “be right”, being too talkative, shut-down, frumpy, plain Jane, unkept clothing, not listening etc…. were pointed out. However, because we can’t see how we are—we need feedback and that they did!

How we “show up” to the world and our way of “being” is one of the “success strategies” for creating a phenomenal life. It is a way of talking about our presence, and what it means to be truly present WITH PEOPLE in our lives. I remember one of my friends saying to me once: "So, Rose, how has life been showing up for you lately"? I replied by saying: "Well, what I’ve noticed is that how I “show up” for life is how it “shows up” for me."

My friend laughed, and acknowledged I had a good point. Reminding yourself to "show up" brings you fully into the moment and fully into life. The simple acts of sitting up straight, standing taller, speaking clearly, and looking someone in the eye are forms of how we are “showing up”. It means being very present with all of your senses by being alert. This can shift our energy dramatically; therefore, you’re much better prepared to deal with whatever the situation is.

Come back to read: A Success Strategy for “SHOWING UP”—(Part 2)

Dear BraveHeart Sisters,'
It's been a while since I've been on here. So much has happened. I have spent the last 1 1/2 years caring for my dad part time while he was in the nursing home after a mild stroke. We did not want to leave him alone if at all possible. So, my 3 sisters and I have shared our time with him off and on.

However, I finally lost him on into eternity on October 6. The funeral was on Oct. 11.TODAY would have been his 91st birthday. So, he missed having another birthday by about a month. The last three weeks have been very busy for us in winding up his business affairs although my brother is the trustee of the estate. I have sent out dozens and dozens of thank you cards, written the obituary, newspaper articles, as well as newspaper thank you's. There are so many advantages of having lived in a small community.

It has been a time of grief for me. However, I have had lots of comfort in having some supportive friends that understand the grief process. I feel so sorry for people that have never experienced loss and do not have the compassion or ability to offer their support.

Here is the obituary for more insight on this fabulous human being that I was so blessed to journey with while on earth. I miss you so much daddy.

http://www.webfh.com/fh/obituaries/obituary.cfm?o_id=330756&fh_id=10561&ck=1