Growing Healthy Kids Blog: Communication

Tonight was another one of those nights when I couldn’t help but giggle and wonder if there were other families who had dinner conversations like ours.

We eat dinner together at the dining room table every night. Besides good food to nourish the body, there is always good conversation to nourish our spirits and relationships, as well as our minds. Tonight was no exception.

As is typical, the conversation started with the expected “How was your day?” and “How was school?” and other general discussion to catch-up and share our days’ accomplishments and occurrences.

This “warm-up” is usually followed by some fun trivia challenge initiated by one of the kids and based on one of their three favorite placemats: World Map, U.S. Map, and U.S. Presidents. Sometimes the discussion centers on a school project or upcoming test. We’ve discussed the water cycle, photosynthesis, rocks and minerals, life cycles, food webs, the Civil War, ancient civilizations, etc.

Tonight’s conversation: (1) The number of times a human heart beats in a year, given a heart rate of 70 beats per minute; and (2) The total number of hours my son has spent sleeping during the first 12 years of his life, given that he sleeps an average of 9½ hours each night. And yes, we included the 3 extra days for the Leap Years he has experienced.

In keeping with the season, (my kids will be taking their end of grade tests this week and next) tonight’s dinner conversation and math exercises incorporated both calculator active and calculator inactive components. : )

Now you understand why I was giggling and wondering if other families have similar dinner time conversations!

My kids love this, by the way. It’s a good thing, too, given their parents are scientists who love to learn and share the marvels of science and learning.

Through discussions like these, our kids are developing a deep understanding and respect for our world. The more they understand about all that it is, all that it does and that everything is connected, the more they realize what a truly glorious, miraculous place it is!

So, what did you discuss over dinner tonight?

Food for thought…
Maria

P.S. Tonight’s dinner festivities also included the kick-off and Day 1 of our annual “Eliminator” game. More about that another time.

I'll start by sharing that the first day of school went off without a hitch. As expected, they hit the ground running! My daughter (5th grade) had math homework, while my son (7th grade) had no homework...but he brought home a huge envelope of homework for me! Tonight, he may not be so lucky.

As I was clearing our school "action" files of last year's notes, reminders, schedules, projects, treasures, etc., to get ready for the new school year, I found the following poem and wanted to share it with you. It is a reminder and lesson that we can't hear often enough.

We can learn so much from our children...if we only listen.

Enjoy!

Listening
A dozen times he must have said,
"Guess what I did today!"
And just as often I replied,
"Not now, Dear, run and play."
And when he'd finished all his chores,
And wanted praise from me,
I was too busy with my own
To look at him and see
That he had needs that I could fill,
Had I but understood
That children need attention most
When they are being good.
But just today he set me straight
With words said lovingly,
"When I have something I must tell,
Please, Daddy, look at me!"
And then I saw in his sweet eyes
His need for me to know
That my attention and my time
Was what he needed so.
"I love you," were the words he said;
"Please say you love me, too."
And when I did he smiled and said,
"Thanks, Dad, I know you do."
But what a truth he taught to me
In his sweet, childish way,
And now I try to listen when
There's something he must say.
~ Hilda Sanderson ~

Do you know what your kids appreciate most about you or from you? Have you ever asked them? Erin Kurt has.

As a teacher, one of her favorite assignments was a Mother's Day assignment where she would ask her students to write about what their mother or guardian did with them or for them that made them feel happy or loved.

Their answers may surprise you, especially given yesterday's news that children and teens spend an average of more than 7 hours DAILY "married" to technology in the form of TV, cell phones, texting, video games, computers, social networking, the internet, etc., not to mention how "overscheduled" they seem to be!

Here's the top 10 responses Ms. Kurt received from her students:

- Come into my bedroom at night, tuck me in and sing me a song. Also tell me stories about when you were little.
- Give me hugs and kisses and sit and talk with me privately.
- Spend quality time just with me, not with my brothers and sisters around.
- Give me nutritious food so I can grow up healthy.
- At dinner talk about what we could do together on the weekend.
- At night talk to me about about anything; love, school, family etc.
- Let me play outside a lot.
- Cuddle under a blanket and watch our favorite TV show together.
- Discipline me. It makes me feel like you care.
- Leave special messages in my desk or lunch bag.

Insightful and heart-warming, isn't it?

Before I sat down to write this, I asked my kids this question, "What is one thing that I do with you or for you that makes you feel happy or loved?"

I must also share that I was a bit worried about the answers I would receive as my question interupted a texting session between my 13-year old son and six of his friends (he got a cell phone 3 weeks ago and earns up to an hour of texting time each day). He was concurrently watching my 11-year old daughter design a new character for the Wii. (We had finished playing Horse-opoly together a few minutes earlier.)

Their responses were immediate and in unison.

"Cook my dinner and wash my clothes." (Son)

"Tuck me in." (Daughter)

WHEW! What a relief!

Just kidding. I wasn't at all surprised by their answers as the first nine things on the list are part of our family's daily rituals. And the tenth. . . I randomly surprise them with little notes or smiley faces or special treats.

These ten things are purposefully important in our home and are some of my most memorable and favorite things my mother did for me when I was growing up.

What did your mother do with you or for you that made you feel happy and loved while growing up? Ask your kids the same question. They just may surprise you, and themselves! If nothing else, it's a wonderful conversation starter about gratitude and what's really important. Or, perhaps, it may be a much needed wake-up call.

I look forward to reading your comments about how you and/or your children answered this question.

Click here to read the full article by Erin Kurt on Lifehack