Blossoming Feminine Wisdom: Courage

Today is the 27th anniversary of the birth of my first child, a son who we named after his father, Jeffrey Dwaine Buckalew, Jr.  It has been nearly ten years since his passing.  Although I have grown quite a bit through the pain of his death, it seems a bit unusual to me that I would find myself celebrating on this day. I choose to see my celebration as an affirmation that I am truly beginning to ascend from the depths of my grief. 

Today I am grateful for the gift of having shared in the life and the legacy of my first born son. Although Jeff’s time here was way too short for my preference, I choose to celebrate his life and the cherished memories of him that will live forever in my heart.  I choose to celebrate with trust that all is as it should be, that this conscious choice of celebrating will continue to assist me in RISING above my grief and that it will also assist me in RELEASING myself back into life. 

I choose to LAUGH,

I choose to LOVE,

and I choose to LIVE!

With love, honor and gratitude for ALL of life’s gifts, however they are disguised …
Lisa

This journey into self, into allowing ourselves to be who we are, with unconditional love, acceptance and encouragement is one that brings many challenges, constantly pushing us to stretch beyond what we know to be true. This stretching first requires Love, and then Courage. Love opens the door and Courage assists us to walk through.

Thank you my Sisters for being examples of Love that I sometimes cannot allow within myself. Thank you for the reminders, the time spent, the conversations, the messages, the blog posts, the videos, the sharing in forums and emails, text messages, phone calls and walks in the woods.

Thank you for the reminders that Love blooms everywhere, we are simply required to allow it space to grow.

Thank you my Sisters, for being shining examples of Courage that I sometimes cannot allow within myself. Thank you for the examples of overcoming the ‘impossibility of dreams’, with Love and inspired action, of feeling the fear and doing it anyway, of dedication to being in service, in sisterhood.

Thank you for examples of living in purpose with passion, reminders that although individual journeys may be quite different there is a common driving force, an undercurrent that carries many things, among them, the essence of Courage. Each separate and individual action is connected through this undercurrent into something much greater than the sum of the individual parts. Each action is a petal on the flower, a portion of the definition of sisterhood which when unwrapped and allowed as a gift is revealed to me today as Courage.

Thank you for having the Courage to listen to your own personal callings, to honor them, nurture them, for allowing them to be in service as true examples of the freedom in following your hearts voice. I aspire to follow your examples and live in the freedom of my hearts true voice.

Thank you, my sisters. No matter what our relationship; past, present or future, there is one thing that remains true.

You are all my sisters.

I love you.

Lisa

Life has been busy and broken into a fast paced flow of intersecting situations that have been coming at her from everywhere at once. So many places to heal ...

Lined up outside the door is the line of many faces representing the areas in which she is required to heal. Each of these faces carries a message with it that she is required to receive with grace so that it may be accepted as part of allowing the full essence of who she is to emerge and to blossom.

She receives the messengers one by one and with the guidance of the Healing Council she assists with the integration of healing into each of these areas.

Occasionally, one of the messengers carries something they feel is so urgent that they storm the door, ignoring their place in line, breathlessly expressing a need that must be dealt with immediately.

The messengers voice and the message delivered raise alarm inside of her. A big one. There is a depth to this message that permeates all of her being. She knows this because she feels the little girl in her, her humanness, wanting to run and hide in the safety of the woods.

Wisdom, in her place at the center of the Council knows ... like she knows, like she knows, like she knows ... that all is well.

It is what it is.

It's all good.

Relax and be in the flow.

Strengthen your muscles.

Enjoy the ride.

Curious as to why the little girl is running she follows her for a bit assessing the best way to support her with love and divine guidance. She observes the layers of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual pain that the little girl travels though while she runs to the safety of her cocoon. Recognizing the essence of healing in each of them she returns to the present moment in the council chamber knowing what to do.

She thanks the messenger with a warm smile that carries the essence of a loving embrace. "Thank you for trusting your voice and delivering this message. I understand the urgency you brought with it. I will take care of this for you. Run now and be in Joy. Relax and be who you are. I will take care of this for you."

Satisfied, the messenger relaxes into the healing energy of council. She feels the shift. Preparing to release. Preparing to fly ...

She adds, "Please deliver a message to the faces outside the door that thanks them for their patience. I am honored to be a vessel through which the wisdom of healing can be integrated and I wish to honor each of their messages to the fullest with the same attention I am giving to the urgent message you just delivered. Tell them that I stand in gratitude for their patience."

Wisdom closes her eyes and with her breath receives the gifts of the message.

Tight at first ... Relax your shoulders and breathe ...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... That's better ... In the feminine flow ...

What am I required to do?

...

I am afraid.

All is good. All is well. Enjoy the ride.

...

I am afraid.

...

She knows what she must do ... like she knows, like she knows, like she knows ... she has done this many times before.

The first step always requires the most courage ...

What Would You Say by Trailer Choir

My son Josh shared this song with me on his way out the door this morning. As I listened, I felt increasing waves of emotion roll through me with each line of the song. The words and the music seemed to touch so many things … all at once.

When my tears started and Josh moved to comfort me, I said “It’s okay. I’m okay. This was just what I needed to hear today … the tears are perfect and cleansing ... I’m not hurting I am just releasing old bullshit through the tears … clearing the way for the journey ahead. It’s all perfect … Thank you for sharing this with me today … it’s all perfect.”

Thank you, Joshua. I love you and I am honored to be your mom.

What would I say?



What would you say?

...