Blossoming Feminine Wisdom: Gratitude

I have been feeling strongly that some gifts come with red ‘warning flags’ attached that read, “The attached gift will enhance your life in a way that you cannot imagine yet it also carries things that will ‘stir up’ some deep, emotional bullshit. It’s all good! Trust in the process and receive the gift.”

I acknowledge and accept the challenge and I choose to receive and fully accept the gift.

Today I feel vulnerable yet incredible. I participated in the BraveHeart Women “Core Call” last night with Ellie Drake and my BraveHeart Sisters. It was a difficult thing for me to do. I often feel things so deeply and although I do not seem to have a challenge expressing those feelings in writing, when it comes to speaking about them I feel vulnerable and unsure of myself.

I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I am thankful for the BraveHeart Sisters that were on the call with me. I am grateful that they too have heard the true voice of their heart and are dedicated to taking the steps necessary to follow that voice. I am honored to be both participating in and witness to this blossoming. We all, collectively, as sisters bonded together by a choice to be inspiration in action, share in the experiences and the gifts of the blossoming of each individual flower.

As we unfold ourselves … petal by petal … not only are we all each becoming a beautiful flower in an incredible garden, but the essence of that flower, the fragrance, the beauty, is shared among the garden and becomes something much greater than each of us alone.

I love you, my Sisters! Thank you for your love, support and inspiration.

Lisa

I am at a place in my life where I can FEEL myself being called … I know deep in my heart that following this inner voice is all that really matters … I can hear and FEEL its LOVE, TRUTH and PURITY in every resounding echo of my name … yet somehow, try as I might to follow the path to the voice, it is somehow just out of reach.

I see myself as being on a forest path exploring contentedly … I begin to hear my name being called from somewhere across the forest. It is like a whisper and it is a sound that is felt more than it is heard. It calls with an urgency that takes me back to my childhood bedroom where I have overslept and am in danger of missing the school bus. My mother’s hand is on my shoulder and she is insistently shaking me awake, “Lisa, wake up! Lisa, come on … hurry!” There is an urgency in her voice … this is important … wake up! Get moving!

There is a desire to roll over, settle into the cloud of my pillow, pull the covers over my head and stay in my comfortable dream world yet the insistence of my mother’s voice pulls me out of the bed, my feet hitting the floor already running, rushing through the morning routines and then out the door, to the bus stop. These morning motions were well rehearsed and automatic. I already knew what to do as I had done it countless times before, so when rushed, with no time to think about my morning rituals, I completed them automatically and found myself, a little breathless yet still prepared, at the bus stop waiting for the bus to arrive.

So now, a big girl, I find myself in the forest, walking on trails that have been made by people who were here before me. From somewhere in the distance I hear my name being called. My Mother is again calling to me, “Lisa, wake up! Come on! Hurry! Over here!” I take the first steps on the trail that leads in the direction the voice seems to come from. As I walk there is a quickening inside me and my body begins to tingle with something a bit unfamiliar yet warm, loving, true and not at all unwelcome. Hearing the voice and experiencing the act of following it is opening something within me, giving birth to something that has been asleep for a very long time.

I hear the voice whispering again yet this time it is off to the East. The trail I have been following only goes North and South with the first branch that goes in an Easterly direction still way ahead of me. I can go further South to meet the Easterly trail, yet instinct tells me that I will still be traveling away from my destination, or I can turn to the East right here where there is no trail and begin making my own. The choice becomes clear. Following the voice requires that I cut my own trail.

The act of cutting my own trail through the forest is one that, for me, comes with internal conflict. The physical act of using garden shears to snip a briar vine in half, severing its connection to the earth, inhibiting its ability to grow is one that is not taken lightly. Who am I to decide whether this thorny specimen, this vine that reaches out to entangle me in its piercing grasp with each step I take … who am I to decide the fate of this living thing? Why not just stay on the paths that have already been cut? Following existing paths means that such choices – determining the fate of another living specimen – will not be required. Just stay on the path …

Yet my decision to do this, to make the journey to the Voice of my Self by staying safely within the lines that have already been cut gets me no closer to my destination. Over and over again I am shown that the destination cannot be reached by following the paths of the past. I have already covered every inch of these paths and while they have brought me close, the voice is always somewhere just beyond where I am and just out of reach. It has become clear to me that fully experiencing this voice requires me to cut my own trail … even if it requires me to make sacrifices along the way.

With unconditional Love … Love for myself, for the voice of the Mother who calls me and for the tangle of briars that are blocking the path to my true Self, I grasp the thorny vine near the base, take a deep breath, hold it for a minute in prayer and contemplation … and then exhaling a long, slow breath … a breath of “Letting Go” … I cut through the vine … in this first act of loving sacrifice I am truly answering the call.

With love to those before me who courageously followed their own inner voice and answered the call. Your trust in awakening to the voice of your inner self is an inspiration to me. Thank you.

Lisa Buckalew

I experienced an interesting article this morning. Hotel First Nation, written by Robert Animikii Horton, was inspired by the movie Hotel Rwanda and describes the many divisions within our human existence and how those divisions distract us from knowing the truth of UNITY and Community.

While I've been circling around an understanding of division, duality and the many undertones carried by them that affect us on a personal level, whether we are conscious of it or not, I hadn't thought of it this way. In experiencing this article I have a new understanding of many things including Gandhi's quote "you must be the change you wish to see in the world". I am inspired to contribute to the movement of ‘change’ beginning with me.

If the change I wish to see in the world is PEACE then I must Be or Allow peace within myself. Throughout the article and to illustrate the point, the author replaced the words Hotel Rwanda with Hotel First Nations. I continued following this path and allowed it to take me on a tour of division and duality in my own personal world. In each of these hotels were examples of the separateness in my own life.

I was led to Hotel New Jersey and saw division on a large scale, to Hotel Buckalew where although there is a greater sense of unity, division and duality still exist, to Hotel Lisa where I caught a glimpse of the duality within me and my ‘rejection’ of certain aspects of my own Self. I thought that this is where the path would end and that it was here that I would stop and hold the space for Unity to manifest in my self and my life. That it was here where I would practice unconditional love and create peace within myself by accepting and embracing ALL aspects of me. That it was here that I would practice nurturing and healing the wounds that create division in my own BEing … and then, to my surprise, I was led to yet another Hotel.

The paintings on the walls in the lobby of Hotel Woman are many in number and represent women and the many labels we have been given throughout time. Some of these labels are quite beautiful and honor the female Essence in a positive and uplifting way while others are quite the opposite and paint a picture of the parts of ourselves that we, and perhaps others as well, might prefer we keep hidden.

I then saw myself standing naked in the center of the lobby of Hotel Woman. My assignment was to clothe myself by using the paintings on the walls. Which will I choose? I found myself drawn to the more beautiful aspects of the Essence of Woman and I chose the paintings that would cover me in the most positive and uplifting light. I placed these over me in a fashion that would hide what I consider to be the ‘uglier’ aspects of me. With the most beautiful aspects of Woman covering me in a gown fit for a queen or a Goddess I danced around the room.

At some point I became conscious of what was still left hanging on the walls … the things that I had not chosen to adorn myself with and saw that now the lobby of Hotel Woman no longer contained an accurate representation of the true Essence of Woman. I had created division and duality by choosing only the most beautiful aspects and leaving the rest, the uglier parts, still on the walls, dismissed and labeled as ‘not me’.

I had been conscious of this duality as it relates to loving accepting and encouraging myself as ‘Lisa’ yet although I have been awakening to it I had not been fully aware that there is a deeper part of me that requires that same acceptance on a much deeper level as a Woman AND that this understanding and acceptance is an essential building block to the true unconditional love and peace that I aspire to create in my life.

The lesson learned today or, more truly, the gift received today in standing in the lobby of Hotel Woman is the understanding that the true Essence of Woman is experienced through ALL aspects of woman and not just the beautiful ones. Embracing ALL aspects of ‘Woman’ as my own and choosing to clothe myself with a balanced selection will assist me to understand how the true Essence of ‘Lisa’ is experienced the same way. That by accepting ALL aspects of myself – the good, the bad and the ugly – with unconditional love, I unlock the doors to true Peace within myself which is an essential and foundational building block to BEing the change I wish to see in the world.

With love and gratitude,
Lisa

"It's easier done than said." ~Ellie Drake

Thank you, Ellie for this affirmation and thank you Universe for the gift of the layers of deeper meaning. I see myself in this affirmation today and I understand how to apply this to my life. It's like looking in a mirror at the truth and then no longer being able to look away in denial of that facet of me.

What does it mean that I am discovering the secret of 'doing' on the heels of experiencing Oriah Mountain Dreamer's, The Call, inviting women to stop doing and 'rest'?

Where do I find balance between doing and rest?

I feel that the answer is perhaps that when purpose is applied as a recipe within the doing that I naturally do each day, the doing becomes effortless. When purpose is applied to rest, the quiet space created somehow assists with the actions required in the doing.

I feel that a big part of the secret to assisting my Self to grow in balance is related to the recipe or belief system that I choose to apply within the doing and the resting. I am open to expanding and empowering my collection of recipes by releasing those that do not nourish me and inviting those that do.

I am humbled and I am grateful,
with love and light,
Lisa

My purpose is to heal.

In gratitude and with love for ALL in my life that assists me to heal. I am grateful for the faces that the energies of healing choose to manifest in my life. I am humbled before the many forms that the energy of healing chooses to take. I am in the moment with the essence of healing.

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!

Being Inspiration in Action,
Lisa

My Dear Sisters,

Please accept my apologies. I am reposting one of my blog entries below and and making sure comments are enabled. I must have somehow ticked the box to not allow comments on this post and I can't find a way to un-tick it, so I am reposting it.

I have received several emails and messages on this subject through which I realized that some of you have a lot of your own personal wisdom to share about your own awakening to the power of your feminine energy.

Please feel free to share here as you shared with me privately. Again, I apologize for inadvertently disallowing comments.

"See" you on the Core Inner Circle call tonight!

Ahhhhhhhh!!!

with love and gratitude for my incredible BraveHeart Sisters!
Lisa


Funny how life works ...

I am a woman. I am a woman yet I have been surrounded by SO much masculine energy in my life. I am beginning to understand that there are many ways this has affected me. There are many layers of belief that are interconnected over many interconnecting layers of my life and how I live it AND more importantly that this masculine way of doing things, this masculine energy, has been the foundation of the tools I use and the methods I automatically implement when making choices in my every day life. This would be great if I were a man - men's tools seem to work well for men. Yet I am a woman.

I attended the Core Inner Circle call last night where Ellie shared more wonderful tools for tapping into our feminine wisdom. It's always amazing to me how the information on these calls affirms where I am, gives me a deeper understanding of how I have been operating on auto-pilot and then assists me to stretch and to grow to know mySelf better. With these new tools ... tools that honor my feminine energy, I am slowly, consistently and lovingly learning more and more about mySelf each day. I am learning how to be Me.

I love, admire and respect the men in my life and I appreciate masculine energy in many, many ways ... yet I do not wish to embody it mySelf. I am a woman and my life's purpose is to be as God created me, to heal and nurture my own feminine energy, embodying the full essence of what it means to be Me - to blossom into my own divine feminine wisdom - and through this awakening be in service to women who choose to heal and blossom into their own divine feminine wisdom.

Today, in assessing my To-Do List and what I am giving my attention to I feel a deep sense of peace ... "It is what it is" and "I am what I am." as Ellie says it and as my son Jeff used to say, "It's all good! Enjoy the ride!"

with love and gratitude,
Lisa

Life has been busy and broken into a fast paced flow of intersecting situations that have been coming at her from everywhere at once. So many places to heal ...

Lined up outside the door is the line of many faces representing the areas in which she is required to heal. Each of these faces carries a message with it that she is required to receive with grace so that it may be accepted as part of allowing the full essence of who she is to emerge and to blossom.

She receives the messengers one by one and with the guidance of the Healing Council she assists with the integration of healing into each of these areas.

Occasionally, one of the messengers carries something they feel is so urgent that they storm the door, ignoring their place in line, breathlessly expressing a need that must be dealt with immediately.

The messengers voice and the message delivered raise alarm inside of her. A big one. There is a depth to this message that permeates all of her being. She knows this because she feels the little girl in her, her humanness, wanting to run and hide in the safety of the woods.

Wisdom, in her place at the center of the Council knows ... like she knows, like she knows, like she knows ... that all is well.

It is what it is.

It's all good.

Relax and be in the flow.

Strengthen your muscles.

Enjoy the ride.

Curious as to why the little girl is running she follows her for a bit assessing the best way to support her with love and divine guidance. She observes the layers of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual pain that the little girl travels though while she runs to the safety of her cocoon. Recognizing the essence of healing in each of them she returns to the present moment in the council chamber knowing what to do.

She thanks the messenger with a warm smile that carries the essence of a loving embrace. "Thank you for trusting your voice and delivering this message. I understand the urgency you brought with it. I will take care of this for you. Run now and be in Joy. Relax and be who you are. I will take care of this for you."

Satisfied, the messenger relaxes into the healing energy of council. She feels the shift. Preparing to release. Preparing to fly ...

She adds, "Please deliver a message to the faces outside the door that thanks them for their patience. I am honored to be a vessel through which the wisdom of healing can be integrated and I wish to honor each of their messages to the fullest with the same attention I am giving to the urgent message you just delivered. Tell them that I stand in gratitude for their patience."

Wisdom closes her eyes and with her breath receives the gifts of the message.

Tight at first ... Relax your shoulders and breathe ...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ... That's better ... In the feminine flow ...

What am I required to do?

...

I am afraid.

All is good. All is well. Enjoy the ride.

...

I am afraid.

...

She knows what she must do ... like she knows, like she knows, like she knows ... she has done this many times before.

The first step always requires the most courage ...

Corny as it may seem in comparison to today's music I must admit that I am a John Denver fan. Just something about that "Thank God I'm a Country Boy(Girl)!" feeling that gets me inspired and in touch with my roots ... many of his songs do, actually ...

I was listening to Sunshine On My Shoulders this morning and really felt and heard the words. I always love how I can hear songs over and over, know them by heart and then one day ... really hear/feel them and then know them in heart.

My shoulders are warm and I am happy. ;o) I am grateful for my incredible family and friends who love me unconditionally ... a fantastic job that assists me to nurture my artistic self and customers who enjoy those creative expressions ... and teachers, mentors and guides who encourage me to think outside the box and then assist me to trust in mySelf to know when and how to take action on those many out-of-the-box Ah-Ha! moments.

I love my life!

It’s ALL good. Enjoy the ride!

In gratitude for ALL of life’s gifts.
with love,
Lisa

It’s been nearly a year since my Blue Moon Affirmations where I set my intentions for the year … wow, time certainly flies … I am grateful for all of the gifts in my life that are assisting me to let go of who I currently know my Self to be and remember who I am. Like the dragonfly, I am transforming.



There are so many things to be grateful for that sometimes become so difficult to see in going about my daily life wrapped up in the many layers of who I think I am. Some days I observe that I am grateful for the hot water in the shower, which is always there on demand when I need it … I take my time and I allow my Self to really feel how nice it is to stand under it. Some days I barely recall the shower as I get caught up in following my mind doing what it does best - thinking.

When I am able to Be, I am not traveling on some past/future mind-trip yet I am allowing my Self to fully experience life in the moment for what it is. I become aware of just how much there is to be grateful for and of how everything … every person and every living thing … is connected. I begin to hear the voice of my soul just a bit stronger. It is the energy of gratitude that assists me to know me.

The more I allow my Self to let go of doing and simply be, the more me is revealed. It’s as though the experience of consciousness, however small a moment in time, unwraps a layer of paper revealing more and more of the gift that is my life.

From day to day, this unwrapping of the gift of my life sometimes happens so slowly that to me, it isn’t noticeable. Yet when I allow the energy of gratitude and change my perspective a bit, looking back over the past year reveals a blossoming that is measurable.

Although a very personal and solitary process, this blossoming does not occur in isolation from the world. I am filled with gratitude for the relationships that I have and the people who are and who will be a part my life. Every relationship, every interaction with another human being assists me to Be. Allowing the gifts in some relationships is effortless and in others a bit more challenging, yet no matter what the wrapping, they are all gifts.

It is truly wonderful to Be on this journey of life walking beside so many incredible giving, loving and affirming people. I am grateful for YOU! Thank you.

With love and Thanks-giving,
Lisa

After sampling a few of the plethora of apps available on Facebook I’ve made the conscious choice to only install and keep a manageable few and only choose the ones that feel aligned with Living on Purpose. I am enjoying the Farmville Life as I find in it a way to stay connected to nature in those times when I am doing the work that brings me inside from the outdoors. Within participating in the game of Farmville an additional and perhaps unintended connection is made.



There is a wonderful glitch in the system between Facebook, Farmville and my Blackberry that I truly hope they do not fix. Whenever one of my fellow farmers and Farmville neighbors posts a gift on my wall the Facebook/Zynga game system sends an alert to my email where the subject line reads something like “Farmer Joanne posted a gift on your wall ...” while on the Blackberry/Facebook connection the subject line in the alert reads “Happy Birthday …”.

This really confused me several months ago when it first started happening as it wasn’t my birthday at all. I couldn’t understand why in October and November I was getting all of these “Happy Birthday” messages on my phone. My birthday was in September. As I started connecting the dots I began to observe that the “Happy Birthday” messages only came from people who had also posted a birthday wish on my wall on my official birthday.

Through daily Farmville Happy Birthday alerts I was reconnected to those who celebrated me with me on the anniversary of the day of my birth. Through these daily connections I then began to awaken to something deeper … that EVERY day can not only carry the message of a birthday it can also bring the gifts of a birthday. Each day holds the possibility of being a RE-Birthday if I am simply willing to allow it to be. I can choose to celebrate my Self and be RE-Birthed each and every morning when I awaken to the blank canvas of a new day ... and ... whether they intend to be or not my Farmville friends are right there celebrating with me.

The glitch in the system is becoming less consistent and the Farmville/Blackberry alert subject lines are changing a bit so it’s possible that these daily “Happy Birthday” wishes will come to an end soon. I almost don’t want to share the details of the glitch publicly lest I call attention to it as a software bug that goes on a list of things that require a patch. I’d like things to stay just as they are in this regard, thank you!

I am grateful for the daily “Happy Birthday” wishes from my sisters and brothers, Farmville Farmers, Neighbors and Friends. My connection with you is assisting me in my choice to Live my Life on Purpose. It is my birthday wish that sharing the details of a “Happy Birthday” system glitch honors and acknowledges my appreciation for the gifts YOU in my life

Happy Birthday to YOU!

With much love,
Lisa

What Would You Say by Trailer Choir

My son Josh shared this song with me on his way out the door this morning. As I listened, I felt increasing waves of emotion roll through me with each line of the song. The words and the music seemed to touch so many things … all at once.

When my tears started and Josh moved to comfort me, I said “It’s okay. I’m okay. This was just what I needed to hear today … the tears are perfect and cleansing ... I’m not hurting I am just releasing old bullshit through the tears … clearing the way for the journey ahead. It’s all perfect … Thank you for sharing this with me today … it’s all perfect.”

Thank you, Joshua. I love you and I am honored to be your mom.

What would I say?



What would you say?

...

I commit to revealing and nurturing my true inner light, to gratefully embracing and gracefully rising above life's challenges, to choosing FAITH over FEAR and LOVE over HATE, to recognizing and supporting what's right ... with me and with the world ... vs focusing on what's wrong, to being open to redefining and active in recreating who I currently know my Self to be and to transforming and evolving into truly BEing the change I wish to see in the world.

Happy New Year to all of my BraveHeart Sisters. May 2012 bring you Peace. ♥

~Lisa