No it’s not the obvious, although yes, that’s great!
It’s that he’s a deeply spiritual man who clearly truly appreciates his wife’s inner beauty. Reading his words as he talks about her gives me the warm snugglies. “Jackman’s eyes brighten when he discusses his wife, who is eight years older than he.” Among other things, he discusses how she deals with his fame. When they first met, she was the more famous.
"The thing I find hard is that a lot of people won't even see her, and they'll obviously be talking to her to get to me. I've seen Deb literally be knocked out of the way. She just knocks 'em back." There's more. You can read the whole interview at Parade
She’s a lucky woman, and he’s clearly a lucky man. Actually, probably no surprise they attracted each other. She sounds like a Braveheart Woman!
Speak up! Your life really depends on it! But his doesn't.
How do you explain this? Women speak up more during marital arguments than men, men tend to be quieter. But women who didn’t speak up had four times the likelihood of dying at an earlier age. It made no difference to the men's longevity!
Researchers looking at data from the Framingham Study also found that “marriage was good for men’s health and longevity regardless of marital strain, with one exception: Men who reported disruptions at home because their wives were upset at work had triple the risk of developing heart disease. The researchers speculate that men may feel frustrated when they can't "protect" their wives from an unhappy work environment.”
Your thoughts on explaining these interesting results?
Have you ever thought you’d made yourself perfectly clear, and yet it was as if the other person didn’t seem to hear a word you said? Perhaps you felt angry, frustrated, disrespected, inadequate, hopeless, or another unpleasant emotion, depending on what you thought was the reason they weren't listening.
There are lots of reasons that people don’t hear us, but most fall into two basic categories: communication skills and trait based misunderstandings.
There is always the possibility that we aren’t communicating well. If we use blame and judgment or act the victim instead of using “I” statements, most people will not be centered and grounded enough to listen to what we are really saying, the needs or pain behind the accusations. So learning how to communicate well can help here. Non-Violent Communication, Crucial Conversations, Active Listening, and other techniques can help us learn how to communicate so that we have a much better chance of being heard. You can learn more about them in the Resource Directory in The Relationship Dance.
One of the reasons people don't listen is, of course, that it would be inconvenient or unpleasant for them to do so, but this is based in fear. A person who feels good about herself can accept reality and hear strong criticism. She'll evaluate it, accept or reject it as seems accurate, and if accepting, use it gratefully to change course.
People who feel inadequate may put up a façade of competence and self confidence, but if they are unable to listen without being thrown, you know it’s just a façade. Most of us have some feelings of inadequacy in some area or are vulnerable when we're stressed. That’s why it’s important to make the other person feel safe when communicating something important, as Crucial Conversations teaches us how to do.
Sometimes the person really doesn’t care or has her own agenda, but in my experience, this is rare. Often there is a misunderstanding based on trait differences. Trait differences make two well intentioned people assume that the other is ill intentioned or stupid.
For example, Erica’s boss, Grant, told her that they were considering acquiring a new company and could use information on revenues in the past five years. Erica spent a whole week on it and turned in the report to Grant, who was incredulous. He told her he hadn’t wanted that report. She said, “But you told me to do it.” He was sure he hadn’t, she that he had, and they were furious with each other, Grant sure that she was impulsive, Erica that he was indecisive and irresponsible.
The boss was an Interactive Thinker, Erica a Quiet Thinker, his opposite. When you don’t realize your traits, miscommunication is easy. They were still thinking badly of each other two months afterward, until they learned about how these traits operate. They'd wasted lots of stress hormones before they understood what had happened and how they needed to communicate in the future. You can learn about it at http://www.traitsecrets.com/chapter.htm.
It happens so often with traits, and people can go years without realizing what’s going on. It was only after I learned about traits that I realized a trait difference with my husband had me thinking he was an irresponsible procrastinator, and him thinking I was a uncaring or a wimp. Understanding traits sure helped our relationship!
Without all that thinking and judging, animals have it easier. Baby Squirrel here quickly realized no communication skills would work because its companion lacked the essential trait of auditory ability. Sometimes you just have to realize the situation is impossible. But it's rare to find people with actual stuffing between their ears in our human world, and if you try to talk to them, people will think you are strange.
Does the world always work better when people/organizations have to suffer the consequences of their actions? I recently read an article by a guy who spent an hour on the customer service relay to correct fifty cents he was incorrectly billed. He realized his time was worth more than that. However, I think it's more complicated than just the cost-effectiveness principle.
I started thinking about this because of the mortgage crisis. People have gotten really upset over the idea of bailing out people who've taken out mortgages they couldn't afford. A reporter who incited traders with a question on that got plenty of reaction!
On the other hand, President Obama pointed out that if we don't help our neighbor, the whole neighborhood could go, including our house. Our houses are worth less in a neighborhood of foreclosed houses through no fault of our own. We're affected by others' bad decisions, and the question is whether we should let them learn the lesson and be hurt ourselves in the process, or help ourselves, but let them escape the full consequences.
I read an interesting article about how people who are more likely to punish those who violate the rules of the game are the same people who are more likely to be helpful to others. It's sort of a "protecting the community" kind of thing. The people most willing to pay a personal price to punish a freeloader (altruistic punishment) were the same ones most likely to help those less fortunate than themselves.
The problem is that altruistic punishment is driven by a feeling of anger, and I think usually righteous anger. You need strong emotion to make someone put herself at risk for the benefit of the group. This means that your family suffers by losing your house's value if it's the way to punish wrong doers.
I wonder whether taking action spurred by righteous anger is ever a good idea. When I've been righteously angry, I've sometimes wanted to do things that have not been for the highest good of all, not to mention my own good. I've often not recognized the larger picture, but gotten a holier-than-thou thrill of judging, which, like too many Margaritas, tastes great at the time but leaves you feeling bad later. It's the thrill of superiority in righteous anger that makes me queasy.
To me, the question is: which principle is most relevant here, and how likely is my action going make a difference? With the 50 cent customer service question, I kind of doubt that spending an hour going through the customer service chain will change the way the company bills, although I've read that lots of companies use adding just an extra few pennies to everyone's bill to make a lot of money.
In terms of the mortgage crisis, lots of people, not just my family, will be hurt if some people don't escape at least some of the consequences of their actions, a "greatest good of all" type situation. Sometimes there's a middle way, like finding a way to let people stay on as renters or reducing long term equity in their homes when they go up. Sometimes not, and sometimes there's not time to find the best solution.
What do you think? What do you do when you get righteously angry? Is action based on anger that's not righteous anger different? What would it look like in this case? Does the world always work better when people have to suffer the consequences of their actions?
I want to know what is happening in the world, but sometimes it's hard to keep up with the news while keeping my vibration up. Good news!
We can find uplifting news easily now. A very inspiring organization is forming bringing people of all nations, all faiths, all backgrounds, to create the Charter for Compassion. You can go to their website for inspiring stories of courage, compassion and love.
This organization is based on the idea that recognizing that the Golden Rule is fundamental to all world religions can inspire people to think differently about religion and differences. The website has very inspirational videos and more information, if you'd like to be a part of this effort.
The intention is to highlight the many efforts to bring about a better world: The Charter for Compassion will not be a new organization. There are hundreds of existing organizations around the world already working tirelessly in the name of compassion and interfaith dialogue. Our goal is to highlight these groups in effort to raise the profile of their work.
So you can this organization is an antidote to the news in more than one way!
PS the Heart world is the logo of golderuletravel.com. What a great idea!
Lana got me to thinking more about the reasons why, as she said, "we can no longer afford the luxury of negative thought."
I think that luxury implies something pleasant, and in a way negative thought can be pleasant to the thinker in that it can make her feel superior or more powerful, as in giving a "piece of our mind," but it's a toxic luxury, like junk food that tastes good but is harming your body.
As Lana said, the negative thoughts hurt the thinker more, but they can affect the intended recipient. The old adage that "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me" isn't true unless the receiver is in a positive place. That's why it's so vital to be positive, grateful and loving as a thinker or receiver.
I used to wonder about people who were "supposedly" affected by voodoo and curses. We know about the placebo or belief effect, but those things sometimes seemed to work even if people didn't realize they were being hexed. I think it may be that recipients who weren't in a powerful, positive place could be affected by negative energies aimed at them. Positive thinking is the energy world’s apple a day.
I think Masaru Emoto's work showing how words, thoughts, and prayer affects the crystalline structure of water for beauty or ugly may be relevant here. You can view some here. After all, humans are mostly water, and our thoughts are affecting us and ponds and oceans. Meditating on his beautiful water crystals, easily available on the internet, is a wonderful way to raise vibration.
While looking for an illustration, I found the one above in Google images from The Arcadian Society. It was a mind meld website! The website understands the effects of thought in Emoto's terms and goes further, talking about experiments that have affected crime and how we can intentionally transform using our thoughts. It's a lovely place to visit!
Good news! Science has proven that happiness is contagious, and it's contagious even to people who don't directly come into contact with the happy person!
A 20 year study of more than 4,700 people found that people who are happy or become happy increase the chances that those they know, or even don't know but are in their network, will be happy. read study here More happy news: unhappiness is somewhat less infectious than happiness! Good vibes spread more easily.
Thus, being in a network of happy people, like Braveheart Women, promotes happiness!
This reminds me of part of an interesting experiment my partner, Judi Piani (aka Braveheart's EndlessPossibilities), does with her Reiki I students. She has one student stand at one end of the room, the rest behind Judi at the other end. She then measures the aura of the single student using dowsing rods. Then she tells the group behind her to think negative thoughts about the single student. They all watch that person's aura shrink. When the group thinks positive thoughts, the person's aura expands.
Judi then has the test student think positive, loving thoughts while the group thinks negative thoughts. The aura is unaffected.
This dramatically shows how our thoughts, even not voiced, are energy that influence other people for good or ill. We need to stay positive to prevent our energy from being affected, not just by negative thoughts about us, but by all the negativity out there in the world.
Like thoughts, feelings, like happiness, have energy. Both affect others as well as ourselves. Once we realize just what kind of influence we can have, it expands our view of how we can happily serve.
My daughter was born by emergency C-section, and my husband was the first to hold her. He was only willing to relinquish her for nursing. Thank goodness, he couldn't lactate! Right after her birth, I was so foggy on awakening from the anesthesia I wasn't even capable of holding her for a while.
It was clear that food isn't everything, as she bonded strongly to him. He stayed in the hospital with me and she slept on is chest, while I anxiously watched, afraid she'd fall. Months later, when she developed colic, I walked the floor, turned on the water or washing machine, and tried everything to soothe her piercing, painful cries. When I was exhausted and all else had failed, I would wake him and within a few minutes she would calm down. I hated to wake him since he had to go to work early, and I was staying home.
When she was about 6 months old, he left on a business trip for a couple weeks. She seemed to get sick, got a small fever, and cried a lot. I remember trying to comfort her and feeling so frustrated. Suddenly, I became aware that as I became more frustrated, her crying became more intense. I relaxed,and her crying subsided to a low level.
It took her a while to train me to relax and just accept her crying, and when she had completed my training we were both so much happier.
It was only years later that I realized why her training had been so effective. Humans really do sense vibrations, and energy does get translated in the subtlest ways. Perhaps I was holding her a little differently when frustrated, but the key was to change myself, going from frustrated and contracted, to relaxed and expanded.
But how do you relax when you are holding a screaming baby? It comes when you accept the situation as it is. When I stopped wanting her to stop crying, when I was suddenly willing to just hold her or put her in her crib, whether she was crying or not, things improved. I became less frustrated because I wasn't resisting. There is a story that monkeys are trapped by putting fruit in a glass jar. The monkey sticks its hand in and grabs the fruit, but the fist makes it impossible to get its hand out. The monkey never thinks to drop the fruit. I never thought to drop my desire that things be different.
Of course, as with children, with parents. It takes a long time to teach them to say please and thank you, and a long time to teach us to relax! I'm grateful to have had such a cute, persistent and effective teacher.
A psych major in college, I knew all the right things to do to toilet train. I waited until my daughter was clearly ready, almost three, and really, really wanted to wear Big Girl Panties. There was also the incentive of keeping up with the Jessicas, since most of the girls in her nursery school wore them and she didn't want to be left out.
I tried only positive reinforcement, and made sure it was intermittent. We even had a little tabloid newspaper by the potty so she could be just like Daddy. But I didn't understand the spiritual principles under the psychological theories, so after a few months I was starting to wonder if my daughter was going to have to go from extralarge Pampers to extra small Depends.
Big Girl Panties were the Olympic Gold of our toilet training. She wanted the frilly, colorful ones so badly, almost as much as I wanted her to wear them. Yet, when I tried letting her wear them in return not peeing on the floor much, it didn't work. I tried negotiating them in return for sitting on the potty and producing, but that didn't prevent constant accidents, so we returned, dejected and defeated, to diapers.
One day I had a revelation as I went to wake her up in the morning. It came over me suddenly, and it was like I was taken over by a benign force. I was calm and positive as a force took me over and told her that she could wear underpants all the time if she just went to the bathroom and sat on the potty before each meal and at bedtime. "You just have to sit there for 1 minute, you don't have to pee. You can pee and poop all over the floor, if you want," I told her.
"You're kidding!" she said. I assured her I was not.
Excitedly, she jumped out of bed and ran to sit on the potty. When she returned she enthusiastically ordered, "Kid me again!"
She was dry from then on, even at night!
I thought that this was pretty amazing, but it was only years later I realized why it worked and the larger spiritual lesson it exemplified.
A number of spiritual teachers have offered the same insight in somewhat different ways. Byron Katie has a book titled Loving What Is, and her The Work is all about accepting situations and people, including yourself.
Eckhart Tolle says in The Power of Now, "Whatever the present moment contains -- accept it as if you had chosen it. Accept -- then act. Always work with it, not against it. Make the present your friend and ally, not your opponent. This will miraculously transform your whole life."
Of course, the accepting part is not easy. I really didn't accept cleaning up puddles all over the place. But once I really accepted them, they vanished.
Spiritual Guide Abraham says through Esther Hicks that we need to simply know what it is we want, trust we will get it, and it or the right actions to get it will come to us. However, if we want it too much, we are not trusting but grasping. We are actually pushing what we want away. "Nothing brings out the worst in another faster than your focusing on it."
I knew what I wanted, but had been wanting something negative -- no accidents -- rather than something positive. My epiphany was that I really trusted that the new approach was what was needed and I was willing to accept accidents. I was totally relaxed about it.
I had, without realizing it, focused on the negative--accidents--and children pick up what their parents focus on. I'd been using negative words "Don't pee on the floor" instead of "It's nicer when you pee in the potty."
By simply accepting the situation as it was and making it okay "You can pee on the floor," while offering a positive behavior and reward, sitting on the potty and wearing panties, the situation changed within minutes!
Of course, the trick is to really accept it. If only I had remembered the lesson my baby guru had taught me when she was an infant, I it would have been so much easier. But that's for my next blog post.
"You have to read this," my husband said. Two very gutsy young women had written about an experiment they'd undertaken in a Middle Eastern country, where he directs a study abroad program in Arabic.
In most countries surrounding the Mediterranean, women can't walk down the street without being harassed, ranging from catcalls to pinching and grabbing. Students are routinely warned to never make eye contact with these men and look straight ahead or down. It's pretty scary not being able to walk a block without being harassed this way.
These two young women decided that they were missing a lot about their study abroad experience by walking around looking down all the time. They decided to experiment, in a group of women, with actually responding to the men, although they reserved the right to avoid men who seemed dangerous or weird.
They responded to the men with a traditional Arabic greeting that has a religious tone, and chatted politely according to the customs, treating the men as if the men were gentlemen. They made it clear they wanted to be friends only. With only a few exceptions, the response was wonderful. They made friends and protectors who watched out for them as they walked the streets of the capital city. They were invited into stores for tea and cookies.
The most important thing in communication is your attitude, where you are coming from. I was just starting to write about how to get into the right place for difficult communications when my husband gave me their paper. I will write more about that soon, but what a perfect example! The first requirement is the the willingness to consider that people behaving in ways that are offensive might actually be nice human beings. Doing this requires overcoming fear.
It's also important to know who you are dealing with, what the local customs are and mean. As a sociologist, I also see it that by speaking in a respectful and friendly traditional way in Arabic, the women redefined the interaction, reminding the men that they were really nice, well-mannered, friendly men. They changed the men's roles from macho aggressors to warm gentlemen by treating them that way, and by acting as friendly visitors, not American girl students. They were confident, friendly people, not objects.
The women write that the locals are incredibly friendly. They'd even been invited to their taxi driver's home for dinner and become friends with his family. They realized that there were powerful social understandings about hospitality in that country that could help them. They dropped their fear, but not their discernment and caution. As a result, they have seen far more of the country than they could have, and learned much more than Arabic.
What are love, romance and relationships about? Can you be in love for life? What do you need besides love for a good relationship? In the acclaimed film about conscious loving, How Will We Love, filmmaker Chris Brickler started out exploring his grandparents' 65 year marriage, then moved on to interview experts such as Helen Fisher, Harville Hendrix and everyday people.
Here are just a few ideas from some of the experts in the movie:
The more intensely you fall in love, the deeper you were wounded in childhood.
You develop an unconscious list of what you want in a mate in childhood.
Conflict can indicate you are with the right person.
Most people leave a relationship just at the point where it could turn around and deepen.
Why we fall in love.
Love as a spiritual path
Did this movie move you? Which idea did you find most insightful, interesting or objectionable? Hard choice for me, but perhaps most interesting that going through the worst, a sort of dark night of the soul of the relationship, can bring new depth and connection. Of course, the problem is determining when it's worth going through. I think can relate to a favorite quotation:
“Should you shield the canyons from the windstorms you would never see the true beauty of their carvings” --
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
There are many interesting and controversial ideas. We will be discussing some in The Relationship Dance Community. Join us there for more discussions of specific ideas.
Whether you’re angry with someone else, someone is angry with you, whether you need to say something that another person could find painful, whether someone is saying something painful to you, it all works better if you remember RESPECT. Respect means respect for both yourself and the other and respect for reality. Understanding the concept of respect will get your head in the right place and empower you.
When someone is saying something that is pushing your buttons, something that's untrue, or that's true and painful, respect yourself. It's much harder for others to respect you if you don't respect yourself, and respecting yourself as human changes your perspective. It can be painful to hear if it's touching something that you disrespect in yourself. Acknowledge your feelings to yourself, give yourself some compassion. If it's true, accept it and decide what you can do about it, if only accepting responsibility if it is past and can't be changed.
Compassion is not pity. Compassion views us as equals, all capable of suffering, all with the divine spark. It empowers all involved, it comes from a perspective of unity and empathy. It says, we're all, including me, human and flawed, human and divine. Respect and love are at the basis of compassion.
How do you view someone who accepts criticism or bad news with an open mind, as opposed to defensiveness? She is doing that from a position of self respect, which is a position of strength. She will automatically be acknowledging and respecting your feelings, as well as respecting herself.
Pity is a one up/one down view, it comes from fear and misunderstanding, involves condescension for others, viewing yourself as a victim who is not capable or worthy because of ____. It is a perspective of separation--I'm not like him/her, and I can't change or am not as valuable.
When you need to say something that could be difficult for someone else, remember respect, both for yourself and the other. From "You're fired," to "I must leave this relationship," to "Your fly is open," attitude is everything, and that attitude needs to start with respect. All of the above communications are easier ot swallow when they are delivered from a position of equality and kindness, respect for the other which comes from compassion.
Apart from compassion, respect means respect means respecting reality. It means that you recognize with whom you are dealing with at the moment. You don't deal with a wolf the way you would with a sheep dog, especially if you are a lamb, and you don't deal with an abuser the way you would someone who is not potentially dangerous. The wolf is not despicable, evil, or unworthy of respect as a part of God's creation, but it is a wolf and will likely act like one. You recognize when you are dealing with someone irrational and don't expect rationality or condescend because she isn't acting rationally. You respect who the other is and recognize what is possible, and when safety comes first and take steps to ensure it.
Emerson said, "Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying." When you speak from respect for yourself and the other, what you say is easier to accept. People tend to respond the way you expect them to. Lots of interesting experiments show that how we label people, if only in our heads, affect how we treat them and how they respond. We all respond better with respect for all involved.
So what's wrong with this song?
Amazing singing, great melody, and you can dance to it. It's the lyrics: "All I'm asking for is a little respect." You can only get respect by respecting yourself and expecting it, you can't ask for it, that already disrespects yourself. If you have to ask, you won't get it. You have to respect yourself and expect respect. It has to start with you.
I recently received an email that revealed so much about how we think ourselves into problems in relationships and everything else. Here it is:
Answer me first then forward to your friends!!!
If you saw ME in a police car what would you think I got arrested for?
Reply to me, alone, then fwd this on and see how many crimes you get accused of.
What an example of the Law of Attraction, of course, a great way to brighten any day!
My friend was operating on the belief that there was something bad about her, and she was seeking others to tell her what she assumed they saw wrong in her. You give the universe or your friends a request, and generally both will fill it right in the terms you ask. The universe usually fills it precisely, so be careful what you ask for. Best to just vibrate how you’ll feel when you have what you want, rather than focus on what you think want.
Funny aside story on this. I know of a woman who asked the universe for a particular type and color of new car in her garage, spent time visualizing it. Then one of exactly that type and color crashed into the garage. She did not feel good about the result. Gotta be specific, especially about how you’ll feel.
That’s why it’s so important to be aware of what you ask for, what you focus on. Good to focus on what people appreciate and do more of it. My friend could have emailed asking if she was being applauded, for what would it be?
Assuming there’s something wrong and focusing on the negative is different from asking what's right and how things could be improved. A nice little exercise if you really want feedback is “On a scale from one/lowest to ten/highest, how would you rate our relationship? What could I do to make it a ten?” That gives you something to go on, and you can decide whether, for example, being consistently on time vs., say, always cleaning up after him, is what you consider worth the ten.
The real problem is when we don’t realize that we are asking for what we really don’t want. We are caught up in a thought paradigm and can’t recognize the terms in which we are thinking. We think that by requesting criticism, we can somehow see our weaknesses and correct them. In my experience, I get plenty of opportunity to improve myself through the feedback and interactions of everyday life. It is vital to confront and release or transform our negative beliefs, but asking for negativity only reinforces what you want to release. And my friend was assuming that others’ responses to something they had to make up had reality!
The funny thing was, when I read about seeing her in a police car, my assumption was that she’d had car problems and perhaps the police were giving her a ride to get gas. I didn't think in terms of crime, even though she'd asked. But that was because I'd learned some things I'll post in the next blog.
Talk about awareness transforming! My 23 year old daughter, Sara, is spending a month in Morocco, where we have many good friends, in an effort to improve her French, and, aw heck, have a great time. She returned to her host family from a weekend visit to other friends of ours to discover that her host father’s brother had suddenly died. Originally, she thought that this was going to be a very difficult situation for her, however it led her to a more rewarding cultural experience than she’d expected. It really transformed her awareness of how so much of our reality is communal.
You can read her description of it at dramatrekking.blogspot.com It’s her June 15 entry, called Changes chez Chtatou. She especially adores the family's kids, 12 year-old daughter, Sourour, and 10 year-old son, Faris.
If you go to her first blog, you can see photos of her when she was first in Morocco, at 3 and 4 years old. Wasn’t she cute?
At 86, while driving his Honda, Dad was broadsided by a SUV. His aorta cracked, along with ribs and bones, and he was rushed to the hospital. When they asked my still conscious Dad in the emergency room if he wanted to try an experimental stent for the aorta, his question was how much it would cost. That kind of gives you an idea of his focus. The emergency room doctor was so amazed Dad survived he actually visited at home, after the 7 months of hospitalization and rehab.
I’ve heard that accidents can be sources growth, sort of jarring things loose. Or perhaps it was a near death experience, but Dad changed. Everyone always thought my dad was cute. He was 5’1” at his best height, and that was stretching it, and he had a wonderful sense of humor. He was a good, community-oriented man, who single handedly raised enough money for a much needed community ambulance, along with many other charitable works. Everyone who didn’t know him well thought he was really friendly, but really, he was a very driven, anxious guy totally focused on work. You can imagine retirement was tough for him. He handled it by commandeering the cooking and cleaning, annoying my mother, and by obsessively watching the news.
After the accident, he and mom went into an assisted living community, and in his final two years there he took on a new focus. I don’t think it was just the lack of something to do, many activities were available. Dad was a one man sunshine patrol. He managed to get the sourest residents to smile and became friends with all the staff. From being hard driving, he became more warm hearted and caring on a personal level. Always witty, he became even more fun loving and as a result, staff would come to the apartment or come to greet him in the hall. Positive vibrations do attract.
For his 87th birthday, his favorite Resident Assistant, Karen, surprised him in the dining room with balloons and a sexy performance of “You Make Me Hot.” It was the raciest thing the dining room had seen, especially in her red gown and boa. His hospice nurse took an entire day off to be with him as he passed away. He willed his body to science, so that they could see how he survived the accident.
Why he survived is something else. He did take good care of himself, exercise, eat right, even before his four bypasses. But he clearly had a final mission to complete. I’m not sure whether it was to warm the assisted living or show my sister and me just how much change is possible and what a difference one warm heart can make.
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