This being human is a guest house, Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they are a crowd of sorrows, Who violently sweep your house Empty of its furniture, Still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, Meet them at the door laughing, And invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, Because each has been sent As a guide from beyond. Rumi
Join Lydia Mattison host of an Empowering Space- Your Hour of Power on Thursday 20th August 2009, with my special guest joining me for a second time, Sheila Radha Conrad as we discuss the Power of Self Acceptance.
Date: August 20, 2009 Time: 5p PST/8 EST Location: www.blogtalkradio.com/empoweringspace
I was recently asked to be a guest speaker on The Hour of Power blog talk radio show. The topic to be covered was The Power of Self Acceptance. I felt the information was so valuable I wanted to share it with all of you. This will be the first of two articles on this subject. I was asked the following questions to clarify what self acceptance is and why it is important.
What is the difference between self awareness and self acceptance?
Self awareness is similar to a mirror that is reporting what is in front of it, it has no opinion about it, it isn’t right or wrong or good and bad, or ugly or pretty it just IS. This is nonjudgmental self awareness, which we all need to have. Self acceptance is learning to practice being with myself without negatively judging myself, but accepting this is what I feel right now, this is how I look right now, this is what I think right now, this is my hope right now, this is my vision right now. It is an active practice in which I shine the light of awareness on my hidden places to see what is there and experience what my resistance is to accepting where I am at. If you discover you are resistant to accept a characteristic you have, a feeling you are experiencing, or a thought or belief you have, ask yourself the following questions. Remember to stay with the first answer you give yourself. 1)What are the beliefs I have about this that make me not accept myself? 2)What are the ideals I have that cause me to reject myself for not living up to this ideal? 3) What are the life experiences that are the foundation of my self rejection? 4)What do I hope to gain from not accepting this characteristic (i.e. selfishness)? 5)åß What am I afraid will happen if I accept my selfishness?
Why is it important to accept myself just as I am?
Until we accept our selves exactly where we are, we are stuck; we can not change, we can not create the life we desire, we can not transform our understanding. Why is this? When I am not accepting myself I am in denial about where I am, from the place of denial there can be no movement, no awareness and no real action. Denial blocks truth, and makes us unconscious to what we are saying, feeling, thinking and doing. It is as if we put on a blind fold so we no longer can see where we are, or where we are going. We have fallen asleep to our predicament, in this state we are more likely to become victimized by others, replicate toxic relationships, and become depressed and anxious. Why? Because there is no where to go from self rejection. Once we put ourselves down for what we are feeling or thinking we shut down and turn off and become cynical and negative and judgmental. We are stuck in a defensive posture believing the inner judge and its judgments of us.
If you discover you are not accepting where you are, ask the questions that I gave you earlier and you will understand who is running your life and why you are unhappy with yourself.
I wish you a life filled with self acceptance and love, Sheila Radha
How can I accept myself when I am in a negative space?
With kindness and gentleness. Under all negative spaces are stories that when we are open to hear and know them will reveal what caused the negativity in the first place. Each time we do an exploration to discover what is under the negative state we will see more and understand with compassion what false beliefs are supporting the negative space. With a practice, such as Life Mastery Skills, we begin to be less attached to the old story and less identified with it. The light of self awareness exposes the origins of the fixation and we are than able to let it fall away. We experience how our denial feeds the negativity and keeps it from dissolving. Nonjudgmental awareness let’s it be and it falls away on its own. WE DON’T HAVE TO EFFORT AND MAKE IT GO AWAY. Instead we use our energy to be aware of it, accept it, and chose to do it differently right now. EXAMPLE As I explore my tendency to deny my accomplishments, I become aware that I have one standard for others and one for myself. I am supportive, encouraging and give acknowledgment to others for what they accomplish. I barely notice when I have accomplished something new and instead my focus is on what is next for me to accomplish. i. e. Learning how to do web cams for youtube. The more I become aware of this tendency and can witness it rather than judge it, I will see how far back this goes, how it is connected to being a perfectionist, how that is connected to fear of rejection from others. I also see I am not honoring and respecting myself when I do this repetitive behavior. In time I chose to have the same standard for myself as I have for others. I begin to acknowledge all I have accomplished rather than focus on the longing to accomplish it all.
How can I accept myself when I know I am insecure?
Think of a small child whom you care about. How would you treat that child when it is feeling insecure? THAT IS HOW YOU NEED TO TREAT YOURSELF.....WITH KINDNESS, TENDERNESS, COMPASSION, AND LOVE. Many of us treat ourselves with anger, frustration, and disapproval when we are insecure. This will never work because it makes us feel more insecure, more unsupported, more isolated, misunderstood, and unworthy to be loved. These attitudes breed more insecurity not less. YOU NEED ONLY SENSE YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE NEGATIVELY REACTING TO YOUR INSECURITY TO KNOW IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER OR WORSE.
How do I know whether or not I accept myself?
YOU will be the first to know. When we accept ourselves our minds become our BEST FRIEND rather than our WORST ENEMY. Everyone of us know how we are impacted by those who judge us harshly, don’t give us a break, and are critical. The good thing is we can usually get away from those people. THERE IS NO WHERE TO RUN FROM OUR OWN JUDGMENTAL MIND. IF OUR MIND IS JUDGING US HARSLY IT CAUSES CONTRACTION IN OUR BODIES, SHORTNESS OF BREATH, AND STRESS. In time this can cause disease (look at word dis/ease= without ease.) In time this can cause illness, pain in our muscles, rigidity in our bodies that reflect the rigidity of our minds. When we accept ourselves and the human condition we soften, relax, breath slower and more deeply, develop a sense of humor about ourselves and don’t take ourselves so seriously. WE ARE HAPPIER WITH OURSELVES AND OTHERS AND OUR LIVES BEGIN TO REFLECT THAT AND MAGIC HAPPENS AND WE NOTICE IT AS MAGIC. May your life be filled with the peace of self acceptance, Sheila Radha Conrad, M. A. http://www.lifemasteryskills.com http://lifemasteryskills.com/blog/wordpress/
I wish each of you a happy, healthy and prosperous 2010. As I think about the New Year, I feel it is a time of renewal and new beginnings. What arises from within is the following question: What would I like to renew in the year? The answer is to fully embrace and accept all of myself, exactly as I am, which to me means total acceptance of all that is.
I know this is an inside job. Can I accept all of myself, which includes my capacities and my limitations, my positive attributes as well as my negative characteristics? Am I truly able to love myself unconditionally? Am I willing to allow myself to be, and trust that I am exactly who I am meant to be at all times?
My mind says, absolutely; my inner wisdom says, sometimes. As I explore my tendency to acknowledge and identify with the positive and deny and minimize the negative, I realize the challenge I have given myself, and I smile at the amazing possibility that total self love and self acceptance is within my grasp.
As I listen to my inner wisdom, I realize the difficultly of accepting my negativity is an old habit that has been reinforced by parents, teachers, society, religion and peers. We all want to own our positive attributes and cultivate them and develop them and are encouraged to do so. At first glance we would all agree there is no such support for owning our negativity.
As a seeker of truth and a teacher of self-awareness, I know many wise teachers from many traditions teach we must accept ourselves, exactly as we are, for evolution to happen. The challenge is to accept our negativity without acting it out on ourselves and others, rather than give in to the negativity or deny it exists.
I invite you to contemplate this challenge, and if it resonates with you please join me in accepting it as an opportunity to be the most we can be in 2010.
I send you blessings of peace, love and joy, Radha
WHAT IS THE CONNECTION BETWEEN FEAR AND AGGRESSION?
Clarity shows us that the energy of fear and aggression are the same. A number of years ago I read that animals register fear and aggression in another animal or human as the same energy.
Clarity shows us what we want to learn from this.
If we are feeling insecure, unsure or frightened we are energetically giving out aggressive energy, which others often react to with anger and aggression?
It is important to remember that because we feel insecure, unsure or frightened we may have a difficult time thinking of ourselves as angry and aggressive even though others may experience us as hostile, aloof, or cold, and react to our energy with anger.
Clarity shows us the reason our fearful energy is perceived as aggression is accurate, however, the aggression is directed inwardly towards ourselves and its content is scary stories or self-criticism.
If we identify with being a passive and shy person, we need to explore the energy beneath these labels. I see that when I am passive or shy it is because I hold a negative judgment on the person or people I feel passive and shy with.
My "clarity snap" shows me, when I am with someone with whom I am afraid to speak my truth to it is because I have a judgment about how the other person will react to my truth. Remember under every judgment is a fear, and fear and aggression are made of the same energy.
The next time you feel afraid of someone, and they react to your fear with anger, ask yourself the following questions:
* What am I feeling right now? * Am I afraid or insecure or unsure of myself? * What is the judgment I have on the other person that brings up my fear?
You may discover that your fear is being energetically picked up as aggression and the other person's attack is a reflection of how they are reacting to your fear.
What is your experience of how fear and aggression are connected?
It is never to soon to start dissolving the blocks that get in the way. Together we are growing in clarity,
I invite you to join me in the 'Sisterhood of Clarity' where we dissolve the blocks that get in the way... Click Here
Aloha, I am Radha Conrad the founder of the Sisterhood of Clarity.
Do you know how self-doubt impacts our energy and affects our ability to live a purposeful life?
This is what I have learned from exploring my self-doubt. Our minds are very clever and know exactly how to point out and focus on our limitations, this makes us doubt our worthiness to live a life of Purpose.
Personally, I have gotten many clarity snaps that have taught me the way my specific flavor of self-doubt works and it is, to question me like this:
Are you sure you even know what living a purposeful life means?
Who do you think you are to say you want to live a life of purpose?
What makes you think you deserve it?
We will do the Clarification Process, so you can learn what your specific flavor of self-doubt sounds like and how it impacts your ability to create and live a purposeful life. Remember, as long as you doubt yourself you will sabotage your ability to know and live your purpose.
The only way to dissolve the block of self-doubt is to have the clarity snaps that tell you specifically how you do this and what actions steps you need to take to create a purposeful life.
Now, let's do the Clarification Process to get the Clarity Snaps we need to create a Purposeful life.
Sit in a comfortable upright position, close your eyes, relax your face and your shoulders and listen to the sound of seven in breaths and seven out breaths. Bring the following question inside as you listen to the sound of your breathing. What is my specific flavor of self-doubt and what is one action step I need to take toward living a purposeful life? Trust your first answer and remember your answer may not come right away, it could arise when you are doing the dishes or watching T.V. TRUST THAT IT WILL COME!
Great!
I just got an amazing Clarity Snap, the reason we must take action is because our lack of action is the way our self-doubt stays alive and sabotages us.
Write your Clarity Snaps about your self-doubt and what action step you are going to take at the end of this video or whenever it arises.
I invite you to join the Sisterhood of Clarity by clicking on the join button below.
It is never too soon to dissolve the blocks that get in our way.
Together we are growing in clarity,
Radha
I invite you to join me in the 'Sisterhood of Clarity' where we dissolve the blocks that get in the way... Click Here
Perhaps you have been curious to understand why your best intentions to feel good and take positive actions steps to reach your goals may be very difficult to create and maintain?
Clarity shows us that when we listen to our inner communication, that is the comments you make about yourselves and others in your heads, and it is filled with criticism, judgments and negativity, you will feel unhappy, dissatisfied, frustrated, sad or angry.
Clarity also shows us that these are reactions to your critical inner communication and are what is causing you to feel badly about yourself and others.
Let’s do the Clarification Process, right now, to learn how your critical inner communication is affecting your energy and your mood.
Sit in a comfortable upright position, close your eyes, relax your face and your shoulders and listen to the sound of seven in breathes and seven out breathes. Bring the following question inside as you listen to the sound of your breathing. When I don’t live up to my expectation what do I say to myself about myself and how does it make me feel?
Remember to trust your first answer.
Open your eyes and write down what you say to yourself and how it makes you feel, remember to sense yourself while you are writing these judgments, check your breathing, the level of tension in your shoulders, stomach. If your inner communication may sound something like this: how could you be so stupid, or I don’t know what made you think you could do that, or you aren’t able to create that.
Clarity shows us when our inner communication is filled with negative and critical self-judgment we don’t have the energy, will, or self-confidence to take the action steps required to create the life we desire.
By each judgment write a positive statement: i.e. I am totally worthy and capable of creating the prosperity I desire, right now.
I invite you to go to “reply to this topic” on the top of the page and share your Clarity Snaps, your action steps, as well as your questions. I invite you to join me in the 'Sisterhood of Clarity' where we dissolve the blocks that get in the way. Click Here
Are you searching for clarity so you can be in successful relationships?
Clarity allows us to understand how to create and be in successful relationships.
Clarity also allows us to dissolve the blocks that are in the way of being in successful relationships.
One block is perfectionism.
Perfectionism causes us to be dissatisfied with ourselves and others.
We allow perfectionism to undermine our happiness, which causes inner discontentment and disharmony with others.
With clarity, we will dissolve the block of perfectionism.
With clarity, we will learn how to accept our limitations with compassion.
With clarity, we will experience that as we accept our limitations with kindness, we are able to accept others limitations with kindness.
With clarity, we will have the wisdom to know all people have limitations.
It is never too soon to dissolve the blocks that get in our way. I invite you to join me in the 'Sisterhood of Clarity' where we dissolve the blocks that get in the way.
Clarity shows us when we critic and judge ourselves while we are in the process of creating; we will never feel good enough to be creative.
Clarity shows us the reason we never feel good enough is because we are caught in the Duality of self-rejection which stops the flow of creativity.
Clarity also shows us the Duality we are caught in makes us unable to be creative, whether in art or in our careers.
Let’s do the Clarification Process, right now, to learn how you use Self-rejecting Judgments to block your creativity and living in the flow of life.
It is important that you realize the only way to dissolve this block to your creative flow is to have clarity on how you are blocking the flow by rejecting yourself, making yourself feel inadequate and not good enough to experience how creative you are.
It is not for the purpose of judging yourself and making yourself wrong, that’s what Duality does.
Now let’s do the Clarification Process to get the Clarity Snaps you need to dissolve the block to your creative flow.
Sit in a comfortable upright position, close your eyes, relax your face and your shoulders and listen to the sound of seven in breaths and seven out breaths. Bring the following question inside as you listen to the sound of your breathing. Think of a time you were being creative and felted blocked.
Now ask yourself the following question:
How do I stop my creative flow with self-rejection?
Trust your first answer.
Great!
Remember, when you feel inadequate and not good enough you will lack the energy and the awareness to allow yourself to do something new and not worry about what others think. When you use self-judgment it will cut off your clarity about all your positive qualities and capacities, and focus on your limitations. This is what causes creative blocks.
Take a few minutes and write 5-10 of your positive qualities. Read this list to yourself daily, until you start living more creatively.
It is never too soon to dissolve the blocks that get in our way. I invite you to join me in the 'Sisterhood of Clarity' where we dissolve the blocks that get in the way.
Clarity shows us the reason we never feel good enough is because we are caught in the duality of self-rejection which stops the flow of creativity. Watch this video to learn more.
I invite you to join me in the 'Sisterhood of Clarity' where we dissolve the blocks that get in the way. Click Here
Have you ever wonder what the difference between being judgmental and having the capacity to discriminate is?
Clarity shows us:
We often lack the understanding to be able to distinguish between the brain's physiological ability to discriminate, which is an important and valuable intelligence function, and our emotionally based repressive pattern of self-judgment.
When we lack this clarity, which we need to end our suffering, we turn our ability to judge against ourselves and others.
This inner repressive judge, is made of ideals and beliefs that we learned from parents, society, school, religion, and authority when we were children.
We internalize these ideals and react to them with fear, guilt, anger, resentment, anxiety, and denial, which causes us to act out by either rebelling against these judgments or submitting to them.
Now, let’s do the Clarification Process to get the Clarity Snaps you need to develop your capacity to discern the difference between these two.
Sit in a comfortable upright position, close your eyes, relax your face and your shoulders and listen to the sound of seven in breaths and seven out breaths. Bring the following question inside as you listen to the sound of your breathing.
What does my clarity want me to learn about how my body and emotions are affected by judging myself according to ideals I learned as a child.
Sense into your body and trust your first answer and remember your answer may not come right away, it could arise when you are doing the dishes or watching T.V.
TRUST THAT IT WILL COME!
Great!
REMEMBER: As you develop your clarity you will sense how your breathing, body and emotions are affected when you judge yourself according to fixed ideals and beliefs.
When you are using your power of discrimination your body, breathing, and emotions will be affected totally differently.
Together we are growing in clarity.
That is how you will KNOW the difference.I invite you to join me in the 'Sisterhood of Clarity' where we dissolve the blocks that get in the way. Click Here
Aloha, I’m Radha Conrad, the founder of the Sisterhood of Clarity.
Clarity shows us that when we are in gratitude we are happy.
I am grateful to you for being a part of my life and sharing the BraveHeart vision of Be, Create, Collaborate. This vision is filled with gratitude.
Let’s all allow a moment to experience the joy that is one of the qualities in gratitude.
Close your eyes, relax your face, your jaw and your shoulders. Begin to listen to the sound of your in breathe and out breathe as your body relaxes say out loud three people you are grateful for.
Now with your eyes still closed and listening to your breathing state one quality in each of these people that you are grateful for.
Now sense yourself feel the peace, joy and love that bubbles up from inside of you as you feel gratitude.
Now with your eyes closed say one the qualities you have that you are grateful for, state this quality out loud three times:
i.e. I am grateful for my open heartedness. I am grateful for my open heartedness. I am grateful for my open heartedness.
Sense yourself and enjoy the experience of being in gratitude.
It is never too soon to dissolve the blocks that get in our way.
Together we are growing in clarity.
I invite you to join me in the 'Sisterhood of Clarity' where we dissolve the blocks that get in the way. Click Here
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