Blossoming Feminine Wisdom: blossoming

I have been feeling strongly that some gifts come with red ‘warning flags’ attached that read, “The attached gift will enhance your life in a way that you cannot imagine yet it also carries things that will ‘stir up’ some deep, emotional bullshit. It’s all good! Trust in the process and receive the gift.”

I acknowledge and accept the challenge and I choose to receive and fully accept the gift.

Today I feel vulnerable yet incredible. I participated in the BraveHeart Women “Core Call” last night with Ellie Drake and my BraveHeart Sisters. It was a difficult thing for me to do. I often feel things so deeply and although I do not seem to have a challenge expressing those feelings in writing, when it comes to speaking about them I feel vulnerable and unsure of myself.

I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I am thankful for the BraveHeart Sisters that were on the call with me. I am grateful that they too have heard the true voice of their heart and are dedicated to taking the steps necessary to follow that voice. I am honored to be both participating in and witness to this blossoming. We all, collectively, as sisters bonded together by a choice to be inspiration in action, share in the experiences and the gifts of the blossoming of each individual flower.

As we unfold ourselves … petal by petal … not only are we all each becoming a beautiful flower in an incredible garden, but the essence of that flower, the fragrance, the beauty, is shared among the garden and becomes something much greater than each of us alone.

I love you, my Sisters! Thank you for your love, support and inspiration.

Lisa

I am at a place in my life where I can FEEL myself being called … I know deep in my heart that following this inner voice is all that really matters … I can hear and FEEL its LOVE, TRUTH and PURITY in every resounding echo of my name … yet somehow, try as I might to follow the path to the voice, it is somehow just out of reach.

I see myself as being on a forest path exploring contentedly … I begin to hear my name being called from somewhere across the forest. It is like a whisper and it is a sound that is felt more than it is heard. It calls with an urgency that takes me back to my childhood bedroom where I have overslept and am in danger of missing the school bus. My mother’s hand is on my shoulder and she is insistently shaking me awake, “Lisa, wake up! Lisa, come on … hurry!” There is an urgency in her voice … this is important … wake up! Get moving!

There is a desire to roll over, settle into the cloud of my pillow, pull the covers over my head and stay in my comfortable dream world yet the insistence of my mother’s voice pulls me out of the bed, my feet hitting the floor already running, rushing through the morning routines and then out the door, to the bus stop. These morning motions were well rehearsed and automatic. I already knew what to do as I had done it countless times before, so when rushed, with no time to think about my morning rituals, I completed them automatically and found myself, a little breathless yet still prepared, at the bus stop waiting for the bus to arrive.

So now, a big girl, I find myself in the forest, walking on trails that have been made by people who were here before me. From somewhere in the distance I hear my name being called. My Mother is again calling to me, “Lisa, wake up! Come on! Hurry! Over here!” I take the first steps on the trail that leads in the direction the voice seems to come from. As I walk there is a quickening inside me and my body begins to tingle with something a bit unfamiliar yet warm, loving, true and not at all unwelcome. Hearing the voice and experiencing the act of following it is opening something within me, giving birth to something that has been asleep for a very long time.

I hear the voice whispering again yet this time it is off to the East. The trail I have been following only goes North and South with the first branch that goes in an Easterly direction still way ahead of me. I can go further South to meet the Easterly trail, yet instinct tells me that I will still be traveling away from my destination, or I can turn to the East right here where there is no trail and begin making my own. The choice becomes clear. Following the voice requires that I cut my own trail.

The act of cutting my own trail through the forest is one that, for me, comes with internal conflict. The physical act of using garden shears to snip a briar vine in half, severing its connection to the earth, inhibiting its ability to grow is one that is not taken lightly. Who am I to decide whether this thorny specimen, this vine that reaches out to entangle me in its piercing grasp with each step I take … who am I to decide the fate of this living thing? Why not just stay on the paths that have already been cut? Following existing paths means that such choices – determining the fate of another living specimen – will not be required. Just stay on the path …

Yet my decision to do this, to make the journey to the Voice of my Self by staying safely within the lines that have already been cut gets me no closer to my destination. Over and over again I am shown that the destination cannot be reached by following the paths of the past. I have already covered every inch of these paths and while they have brought me close, the voice is always somewhere just beyond where I am and just out of reach. It has become clear to me that fully experiencing this voice requires me to cut my own trail … even if it requires me to make sacrifices along the way.

With unconditional Love … Love for myself, for the voice of the Mother who calls me and for the tangle of briars that are blocking the path to my true Self, I grasp the thorny vine near the base, take a deep breath, hold it for a minute in prayer and contemplation … and then exhaling a long, slow breath … a breath of “Letting Go” … I cut through the vine … in this first act of loving sacrifice I am truly answering the call.

With love to those before me who courageously followed their own inner voice and answered the call. Your trust in awakening to the voice of your inner self is an inspiration to me. Thank you.

Lisa Buckalew

In the words of Yoda, “Do or do not … there is no try.” there is great wisdom. To TRY, although it sounds a noble cause, is really something else in disguise. To TRY is to have an attachment to an outcome. Consider the statement “I am TRYing my best to get there.” with ‘there’ being an idea or an ideal that we hold in our minds as the goal, the nirvana, the place where we will truly find happiness. Or ‘I am TRYing to BE who I am’. Can we really TRY to be who we ARE? “Do or do not … there is no try.” Clearly there is no TRYing to be who you are, you just are who you are!

To let go of TRY is to allow yourself to BE. BEing is allowing your inner truth to be revealed and then taking inspired action in response to that truth. It is letting go of attachment to a specific outcome or destination and allowing yourself to be led by your own inner voice, to keep taking steps forward into that truth, even if they are uncomfortable.

Allowing this leading requires Trust … Trust in the process and Trust in your own Inner Voice. The questions often become “How do I know that what I FEEL called to BE is my Truth? How do I know I am on the right path?” I believe there is more than one answer to these questions and that the answers change and grow as we change and grow. No one answer is appropriate for everyone and every situation, yet there is a common theme that runs throughout them.

In my own growth process I have found clues to the answers to some of these questions in reviewing my journals, notes and drawings. In going through the contents of what I chose to document over the past several years I began to see patterns emerging. There are certain messages or thought patterns that are repeated in many different ways. Some of these have become a ‘great idea’ that has been put into action. Some of these patterns are things that I have outgrown or challenges I have overcome. Some are challenges I am currently experiencing and growing through. Some are emerging as new thoughts and ideas with no real discernible pattern, yet there is a common theme.

My journals, notes and writings are physical evidence of WHO I AM when I let go of TRY and allow myself to BE. One page by itself may not reveal much in the way of answering the questions of Trust and Truth yet the sum of all of the pages tells an incredible story of growth, of overcoming challenges, of building a solid foundation, of creating a space for ideas and passions to be born and then nurturing those passions, to blossom.

My own story reminds me to let go of TRY and to simply BE … be who I am … here … now … in this moment and every moment. The story affirms that when I allow myself to BE … when I treat myself with LOVE and ACCEPTANCE and allow myself the gifts of putting my thoughts to paper I grow … whether I realize or not in the moment … I grow …

The common theme of our own individual answers to these questions is that GROWing is evidence of BEing and is not evidence of TRYing. Look back in your own journals, see the patterns that create the 'evidence' that you have grown. Accept the gift of CONGRATULATIONS!!! on allowing yourself to BE WHO YOU ARE and know that with Trust in the process and Trust in your own inner voice you allow yourself to GROW into your full potential!

Today is the Perfect Day! As I trust the wisdom of my Inner Voice to guide me and as I love and accept myself exactly as I am in this moment I give myself the gift of my Self and awaken more and more each day into true Essence of who I was born to BE.

With love and gratitude,
Lisa

"It's easier done than said." ~Ellie Drake

Thank you, Ellie for this affirmation and thank you Universe for the gift of the layers of deeper meaning. I see myself in this affirmation today and I understand how to apply this to my life. It's like looking in a mirror at the truth and then no longer being able to look away in denial of that facet of me.

What does it mean that I am discovering the secret of 'doing' on the heels of experiencing Oriah Mountain Dreamer's, The Call, inviting women to stop doing and 'rest'?

Where do I find balance between doing and rest?

I feel that the answer is perhaps that when purpose is applied as a recipe within the doing that I naturally do each day, the doing becomes effortless. When purpose is applied to rest, the quiet space created somehow assists with the actions required in the doing.

I feel that a big part of the secret to assisting my Self to grow in balance is related to the recipe or belief system that I choose to apply within the doing and the resting. I am open to expanding and empowering my collection of recipes by releasing those that do not nourish me and inviting those that do.

I am humbled and I am grateful,
with love and light,
Lisa

Interesting observations ... After being inspired by Oriah Mountain Dreamer's The Call, I invited a deeper understanding of how to balance "doing" and "resting". I recognize myself resisting rest. The ‘tapes’ that automatically 'play' in my mind point the finger at others who I feel will scold me for resting. Yet I recognize that it is really me who is scolding me. That is the mirror of truth. I can only be scolded if I allow it. I hadn't seen this scolding as an opinion before and did not fully realize that it could be released.

I also observed that resist becomes rest when 'is' has been fully accepted. When "It is what it is." is applied to 'resist', the 'is' , accepted, disappears much the same as darkness cannot exist where there is light – and then ‘resist' becomes 'rest'

In gratitude for this deeper understanding of many, many things.
With Love,
Lisa

My purpose is to heal.

In gratitude and with love for ALL in my life that assists me to heal. I am grateful for the faces that the energies of healing choose to manifest in my life. I am humbled before the many forms that the energy of healing chooses to take. I am in the moment with the essence of healing.

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!

Being Inspiration in Action,
Lisa

My Dear Sisters,

Please accept my apologies. I am reposting one of my blog entries below and and making sure comments are enabled. I must have somehow ticked the box to not allow comments on this post and I can't find a way to un-tick it, so I am reposting it.

I have received several emails and messages on this subject through which I realized that some of you have a lot of your own personal wisdom to share about your own awakening to the power of your feminine energy.

Please feel free to share here as you shared with me privately. Again, I apologize for inadvertently disallowing comments.

"See" you on the Core Inner Circle call tonight!

Ahhhhhhhh!!!

with love and gratitude for my incredible BraveHeart Sisters!
Lisa


Funny how life works ...

I am a woman. I am a woman yet I have been surrounded by SO much masculine energy in my life. I am beginning to understand that there are many ways this has affected me. There are many layers of belief that are interconnected over many interconnecting layers of my life and how I live it AND more importantly that this masculine way of doing things, this masculine energy, has been the foundation of the tools I use and the methods I automatically implement when making choices in my every day life. This would be great if I were a man - men's tools seem to work well for men. Yet I am a woman.

I attended the Core Inner Circle call last night where Ellie shared more wonderful tools for tapping into our feminine wisdom. It's always amazing to me how the information on these calls affirms where I am, gives me a deeper understanding of how I have been operating on auto-pilot and then assists me to stretch and to grow to know mySelf better. With these new tools ... tools that honor my feminine energy, I am slowly, consistently and lovingly learning more and more about mySelf each day. I am learning how to be Me.

I love, admire and respect the men in my life and I appreciate masculine energy in many, many ways ... yet I do not wish to embody it mySelf. I am a woman and my life's purpose is to be as God created me, to heal and nurture my own feminine energy, embodying the full essence of what it means to be Me - to blossom into my own divine feminine wisdom - and through this awakening be in service to women who choose to heal and blossom into their own divine feminine wisdom.

Today, in assessing my To-Do List and what I am giving my attention to I feel a deep sense of peace ... "It is what it is" and "I am what I am." as Ellie says it and as my son Jeff used to say, "It's all good! Enjoy the ride!"

with love and gratitude,
Lisa

What if acceptance permeates my belief system so deeply that I am not even aware of all of the 'ties' it has to my self-esteem? Am I required to discover, reveal, process and release each one individually or is it possible to be as though I have truly been reborn and release them all at once?

In asking this question I am not coming from a place of avoidance as much as I am from a place of expediency and efficiency. I want to move forward. To evolve. I want to surrender to who I am and trust that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

I understand that there is something I am getting - some psychological reason that I am hanging on to these old beliefs. I feel that it is related to feeling safe as I see evidence of issues of safety and privacy surfacing in my life.

Its like I'm seeking a safe place to be me in the physical world and there's always a reason I find to stop. The reasons appear as invasions of my private space, the phone ringing, interruptions, etc. I find myself wanting to escape to the beach or to the woods. To solitude.

And then the excuse becomes "when I have private', quiet, safe space then I will be me." What if that never happens? What if, in this physical world there really is no quiet or safe space? What if the space and safety I seek is inside of me? What if its always there, easily accessible, even in a crowded room? I am simply required to create it.

I keep hearing Dr Sugar saying "if you want to" in relation to my weight and letting go. I realize that is also true about everything. Its as simple as "if you want to".

I want to.

What's next?

I’ve shared a little bit about my ah-ha moment(s) in experiencing Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s book The Call which, among many other things invites women to stop doing and rest. I have also shared my resistance to rest and observations that when the “is” (it is what it is) is accepted, embraced and thereby removed from the word “resist” the word is then transformed into “rest”.

This call to rest has been challenging. My husband and I recently spent an incredible week camping in the woods. In preparation for this week I packed a lot of things that I thought I might like to do while camping. In my backpack were several books that I am reading or re-reading, art supplies, my cameras and lenses and various other tools. I packed these things thinking that I might feel called to ‘do’ some of them.

Halfway through the week I realized that I had been so enjoying being in the moment experiencing camping in the woods that I had ‘forgotten’ about the things I brought to do. This observation brought a scolding with it and I observed myself ‘beating myself up’ in admonishment for resting and not being productive. I again remembered Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s call to stop ‘doing’ and rest and gave myself permission to do just that – to let go of the ‘busy-ness’ of doing, to rest and be still with myself, to be quiet enough to hear the truth of my own quiet voice from deep within, to connect with the Divine Essence of who I was born to be.

This morning as I was on my way out to the front porch to sip my coffee in the comfort of my wicker rocking chair I noticed a praying mantis clinging to the house near the door frame. I observed it for a few minutes noticing that while its body remained still, as if frozen, its head rotated around to follow me keeping an eye on me as I moved to capture it with the camera. The moments spent with the mantis inspired me to contemplate the symbolism of its appearance at my front door this morning. What message am I to receive from this creature?



The Praying Mantis is a messenger that carries the essence of the Power of Stillness. An appearance from the mantis is a message to be still, go within, meditate, and experience quiet and calmness. It can also indicate the need to be more mindful the choices you are making and confirm that these choices are congruent with your purpose.

The origin of the word Mantis comes from a Greek word that means “Prophet”. Perhaps if we can be still with ourselves we can open to our own prophecy. This stillness can be practiced as simple contemplation in the moment, in meditation or the restorative stillness of sleep and dreams.

Being still with the essence of mantis can teach us how to let go of the outer layers of thought and connect with our own inner power so that when we do take action we do so with confidence, precision and with great power.

There are many stories of the mantis across many cultures, one of the most widely known being from African lore. The Kalihari Bushmen of Africa believe that Mantis was a Bushman who carries plentiful tales of his many adventures. When he found that he got himself into trouble he would go off alone, go to sleep and dream a solution to his problem. This tale embodies the essence of this curious insect and brings with it the gift of the power of stillness. When we learn to still the outer mind and go within we can draw upon a greater power in the physical, mental emotional or spiritual realms to create peace that comes from being truly connected to our own Divine selves.

Chinese martial arts evolved around the activities of the praying mantis. In the practice of kung fu there is a meditation called “chi kung” which uses the breath to go within and direct the life force of the body along the seven major energy meridians or chakras of the body. This healing meditative practice can strengthen and empower the many organs and systems of the body and through it we can learn to use the gifts of this stillness in varying degrees from creating to healing.

The mantis hunts by remaining still and blending into its surroundings making it a great hunter. When the time is right it suddenly grasps its prey in its long forelegs folding them over its victim like a jackknife. This stillness before acting can be applied to ourselves as we contemplate the message of the praying mantis. Mantis asks us to observe our own actions in life. Are you sharing your plans and ideas prematurely? Are you impatient or acting in a haphazard or chaotic manner? Are you missing opportunities to receive life’s many gifts due to acting or speaking to quickly? Being still with the Essence of Praying Mantis can assist with these questions.

I am humbled and grateful for this Universal affirmation appearing at my front door this morning. Within its stillness mantis carries the essence of Awareness, Creativity, Patience, Mindfulness, Calm, Balance and Intuition. It brings peace and acceptance of "It is what it is." and "I am what I am." I allow myself to experience the healing stillness of going within and connecting to the truth of my deepest self.

It’s been nearly a year since my Blue Moon Affirmations where I set my intentions for the year … wow, time certainly flies … I am grateful for all of the gifts in my life that are assisting me to let go of who I currently know my Self to be and remember who I am. Like the dragonfly, I am transforming.



There are so many things to be grateful for that sometimes become so difficult to see in going about my daily life wrapped up in the many layers of who I think I am. Some days I observe that I am grateful for the hot water in the shower, which is always there on demand when I need it … I take my time and I allow my Self to really feel how nice it is to stand under it. Some days I barely recall the shower as I get caught up in following my mind doing what it does best - thinking.

When I am able to Be, I am not traveling on some past/future mind-trip yet I am allowing my Self to fully experience life in the moment for what it is. I become aware of just how much there is to be grateful for and of how everything … every person and every living thing … is connected. I begin to hear the voice of my soul just a bit stronger. It is the energy of gratitude that assists me to know me.

The more I allow my Self to let go of doing and simply be, the more me is revealed. It’s as though the experience of consciousness, however small a moment in time, unwraps a layer of paper revealing more and more of the gift that is my life.

From day to day, this unwrapping of the gift of my life sometimes happens so slowly that to me, it isn’t noticeable. Yet when I allow the energy of gratitude and change my perspective a bit, looking back over the past year reveals a blossoming that is measurable.

Although a very personal and solitary process, this blossoming does not occur in isolation from the world. I am filled with gratitude for the relationships that I have and the people who are and who will be a part my life. Every relationship, every interaction with another human being assists me to Be. Allowing the gifts in some relationships is effortless and in others a bit more challenging, yet no matter what the wrapping, they are all gifts.

It is truly wonderful to Be on this journey of life walking beside so many incredible giving, loving and affirming people. I am grateful for YOU! Thank you.

With love and Thanks-giving,
Lisa

There are so many shifts happening in my life and so many ways that I am opening to and blossoming into my own, inherent, feminine wisdom. There has been transformation in many aspects of my life. Some I’ve accepted joyfully and some were and still are a bit more challenging to get through. Collectively though, they’ve ALL collaborated to bring me to right here … where I am right now ... experiencing a joy-full, peace-full and beauty-full moment in my own evolution.

To me, transforming means that I fully realize that I am not bound by the "rules" of yesterday. This realization allows me to sever the connection and “pull the plug” on yesterday with the understanding that the severing of the connection does not have to come from a place of rejection, but rather it can come from a place of acceptance. Acceptance brings peacefulness.

I can now remind my Self that “it was what it was” in “that moment” but that moment is over now; that this is a NEW moment with no attachment to prior moments; that it is what it is … right now; to be in this moment not with the attachment to all of the moments that have come before but to really BE in THIS moment with the WISDOM of all of the moments before.

I am beginning to see how this acceptance can assist me to celebrate every moment, in the moment, whether it feels joyful or is challenging. The acceptance of all of them leads to inner peace.

I wonder ... is transformation is a deeper level of blossoming or is it perhaps an entirely new bud on the same flower? Or perhaps both?

What does transformation mean to you?

with love and BraveHeart hugs,
Lisa

I commit to revealing and nurturing my true inner light, to gratefully embracing and gracefully rising above life's challenges, to choosing FAITH over FEAR and LOVE over HATE, to recognizing and supporting what's right ... with me and with the world ... vs focusing on what's wrong, to being open to redefining and active in recreating who I currently know my Self to be and to transforming and evolving into truly BEing the change I wish to see in the world.

Happy New Year to all of my BraveHeart Sisters. May 2012 bring you Peace. ♥

~Lisa

I just returned from having the most awesome massage. It feels so good to be loving my Self in such a supportive way. I love my life!

What do you love about today?

with humble gratitude for the gift of my life,
Lisa