ellenoutloud's Blog: commitment

Vacillating people seldom succeed. Successful men and women are very careful in reaching their decisions, and very persistent and determined in action thereafter. – L. G. Elliott

Hello, Bravehearts! Isn’t that a great quote? “Vacillating people seldom succeed.”

For those of you that took my up on my Double Dog Dare to make or break a habit by January 27th, today marks or fifth day of our journey.

And it is around Day Five of a commitment to change that the commitment of doubters and nay-sayers may convene it your head. Don’t let them!

The moment a doubt or even the introduction of the possibility of a doubt enters your mind, respond immediately, “Oh, but I will do this.”

Even today I wrestle with the “not today” monster. I walk every morning. It is important to my physical and mental health to discipline myself and get up and do it. After I write, I walk. Period. And most days, as soon as I wake up, (after I’ve fed Rex) there to greet me is the “not today” monster, ready with a dozen reasons why I needn’t bother to walk, “today”.

The difference between my five hundredth day with the monster and my fifth? I expect him now. And I wish him a good morning and send him on his way. And, I walk.

What ever it is bravehearts that you are doing or not doing? Do it (or don’t) today.

"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself in any direction you choose."

I love Dr. Seuss. In many respects he raised me. We had his entire collection and I have vague childhood memories of tearing apart corrugated cardboard covers to release the new word wonders inside. In my head, his phrases are always read with a certain breathlessness -- like when you are delivering great news and in your excitement you just forget to inhale. Friends tell me I do that a lot.

Well I am almost breathless with excitement this sixth day of our journey. (Inhale)

For it is right about this time in habit creation or cessation that the subconscious mind starts to get it. “Whoa! I do believe this chick (or guy) is serious!”

And consciously, we’re feeling just a tad more serious too, right?

Serious-er and Serious-er!

Yep and as the good Doc says: “You know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.”

Definition of PROGRESS
1
a (1) : a royal journey marked by pomp and pageant (2) : a state procession b : a tour or circuit made by an official (as a judge) c : an expedition, journey, or march through a region
2
: a forward or onward movement (as to an objective or to a goal) : advance
3
: gradual betterment; especially : the progressive development of humankind
— in progress
: going on : occurring


If you accepted last week’s double-dog dare, and frankly, how could you resist, I am clapping for you!

You have made tremendous progress in tackling a habit – whether you decided to make one or break one.

Today marks the significant one week marker, meaning we are now one-third of the way towards our goal of 21 days! Yeah!

I thought the definition of progress was awesome! So much to savor there!

I adore royal journey, but then I’m all about the pomp and pageantry, but gradual betterment moves me too.

Movement. That’s the key.

And I love the last part – going on: occurring.

Yes, Bravehearts, you’ve definitely got it going on!

Forward, March!!

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per·se·ver·ance - [pur-suh-veer-uh ns] –noun
1.
steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.


Obstacles! Life’s ubiquitous “get-in-the-way-ers.” Interruptions, interferences, and as my writing mentor likes to say, “grand annoyances”.

I woke up with the telltale scratchy throat Wednesday morning; the precursor to a full-blown head cold, which has progressed nicely in the interim. What a perfect excuse not to walk this morning, right?

There’s always excuses! In fact, I once made myself a short list of perfectly good reasons why I wouldn’t have to walk. I did this to arm myself against what I knew would be a regular onslaught of reasons to give up. Now when one comes my way, I laugh and press on.

See, steady persistence involves staying the course despite difficulties. Compared to some obstacles, particularly discouragement, a head cold is a nuisance and not powerful enough to dissuade me from my purpose.

Persevere, bravehearts, persevere!

Pass the Kleenex and soldier on! Achoo!

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To think is easy. To act is difficult. To act as one thinks is the most difficult. - Johann Wolfgang Von Goeth


In our twenty-one day habit making or breaking journey together we will face many hurdles, obstacles, and opportunities to back out of our commitment. Ever notice the instant you set your mind about a decision out jump three new chances to change your mind?

In my post yesterday I mentioned one way I have successfully battled that particular quirk in the universe. KNOWING that there will always be counter forces thwarting my best efforts at self-improvement, I make a list of as many as I can think of. It’s sort of the “forewarned is forearmed” idea.

Anytime I take on a spectacularly daunting project I write down every “excuse” or occasion or circumstance that might interfere with its accomplishment. It really helps when one of those occasion or circumstances occur when you are prepared for them!

I highly recommend journaling. It is a great way to track specific progress towards an important goal, to record daily events and feelings, etc. They make great permanent reminders of your successes too!

Soldier on, Bravehearts, soldier on!

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Sometimes, the secret to making or breaking a habit it just not giving up in the process.

Come on, I get it. We aren’t even to the half way through stage.

We’re almost to the full whine part – the “what difference will it even make” stage.

When you can’t see progress or dramatic results… okay, even marginal improvement, it can get discouraging.

Almost everyone on the planet has tried to lose a pound or two, or forty or more, and known that sensation when the scales just refuse to budge. Tests of the universe I call them. Tests of our resolve.

Sometimes, the secret to making a change in your life is to not give up on the hope of it.

No towel-throwing-in today, folks. Hang on to it.

Soldier on! One more day. Soldier on.

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“We fail more often by timidity than by over-daring.” – David Grayson

-- I was thinking this morning about how many of us are trying to make or break a habit this January. I was wondering how many bravehearts are still moving towards the 21-day mark.

Then I caught myself. “Trying.” What a wimpy, timid qualifier to throw into a sentence that should read: How many of us are making or breaking a habit this January. No TRY to it.

“Try” just implies all kinds of room to wiggle, doesn’t it? Like when you invite someone to an event and ask them if they are coming and they tell you they will “try” to make it. What are the odds?

So, here we go, Bravehearts. I don’t know how many of you are making or breaking a habit this January but I applaud your efforts. Over reach, reach some more, and over dare!

I double dog dared you once, now I am going to Over Dare you!

Soldier on!

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“The great breakthroughs in our lives generally happen only as a result of the accumulation of innumerable small steps and minor achievements.” – T. S. Eliot

-- Isn’t it extraordinary how remarkable our first experience of almost anything is? If I were to say: imagine the first time you ____________ most of you would have completed my sentence automatically in your minds. If you hadn’t, please do so now.

Isn’t it even more extraordinary how unremarkable something can become once we’ve done it a dozen or more times?

If you took me up on my double-dog dare of January 6th and decided to do (or not do) something consistently through January 27th, you’ve already done (or not done) something about a dozen times – a dozen days – a baker’s dozen depending on when you started. And THAT, bravehearts, is remarkable! Well done!

Small steps + minor achievements = Great Breakthroughs

Soldier on!

If you are taking those small steps? Post the comment: "I'm remarkable" right here or send me a message.

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Except for a couple of lingering anxieties about falling, injury, and my own demise, I’d love to be a mountain climber. I envy the spectacular vistas they espy when they reach the top of a summit. My. It must be breathtaking.

My husband and I climbed a hill on our property deep in the middle of nowhere, Texas. I don’t know how high we actually got, but we reached the top of it and it took us two hours, and that has to count for something. It was an especially brave thing for us to attempt a couple of years back. But we did it. And for all the cacti I managed to find, and I found plenty, and despite some scrapes and trips and bruises to flesh and ego, the view from the top was worth it.

Which is all my way of saying, if we want to get to the good part, sometimes we have to get a little bloody.

If you want to enjoy the spectacular views from the mountaintop and all the wonders to survey from that peak? You’ve gotta start climbing. It doesn’t matter how far above sea level you go, just so long as you keep moving up.

One foot up, and then the next.

You can do it.

Soldier on!

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And if you are still climbing towards your goal of January 27th? Post a comment here: "Still Climbing"

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While I am not utterly convinced, I am fairly persuaded that it is easier to break a habit than it is to make one.

I don’t have armies of scientists supporting my opinion, and it is, after all, just mine, but as far as life experience goes? I am most qualified to tackle the topic.

I am a proficient not-doer. I do “Not” especially well. Apparently, from the crib I had all the talents and skills required to not sleep through the night, not cry, not nap, and not be quiet.

As I matured I learned to not pay attention, not respond to alarm clocks, not come in from recess.

I’ve been not growing up ever since.

But doing… that’s the hard part. Particularly when doing requires work and practice and day after day after day effort.

Like exercising.

Like dieting.

Like learning.

Like loving.

My encouragement is this: no matter who you are or what habit you are forging today – the old adage is true. Practice makes perfect. Whenever you do something over and over and over you get better at it. It becomes easier. You get really used to it. You learn better, easy, smarter, funner ways to do it. It becomes part of you. Like exercising, dieting, learning.

Like loving.

Soldier on!

Come on. Admit it. It is getting easier. If it is getting easier for you, post the comment here, "It's getting easier!"

Verb 1. better - surpass in excellence; "She bettered her own record"; "break a record"
break
outdo, outgo, outmatch, outperform, outstrip, surpass, exceed, surmount - be or do something to a greater degree; "

Less than a week remains in the Braveheart Double-Dog Dare, the challenge to make or break a habit by January 27th.

As much as I love achieving goals and as I much as I enjoy setting them, my favorite part is the striving.

My sister gets a big charge out of crossing items of her “To Do” list and one of my dearest friends seems to relish the list making. It’s color coded and everything. Me? I just like to have one in hand and be working on it. Just moving forward is both energizing and uplifting. It’s motion. Progress.

Planting is fun and reaping is great but there’s nothing like watching seeds germinate and sprout. Proof positive something’s changing!

Got to love working towards a goal. Absolute confirmation we are growing! Are you?

Soldier on!

I confess. I did it again this morning. I can’t say I’m loving it, but I did it. I’ve never done it before but I’ve done it every morning since this braveheart double-dog dare began the sixth of January. And, I have to say, like any habit, it’s getting easier every day.

I’m eating oatmeal.

May not sound like a big life change to you, but for me it’s huge. I haven’t had oatmeal in my mouth since I was six. The memory still haunts me.

But since I want to live a long a healthy life and my bad cholesterol is too high and meds aren’t an option and exercise hasn’t brought the numbers in line, oatmeal it is.

Providence conspired so that McDonald’s launched their new maple and fruit oatmeal right when I made the decision to start eating it daily. I don’t even have to worry about further crowding my already overcrowded mornings with mixing up the stuff.

Every morning Mickey D’s makes my breakfast and I eat it.

But here’s the story – every day it’s been easier to down the stuff, and now, on Day 17 I’m almost looking forward to it. (Let’s not go crazy!)

And so goes the natural progression of habit making. It seems unnatural and you doubt you can do it. You resolve to do it and you do. You keep doing it. Over and over. Then it sneaks up and you and your discover you didn’t even think about it. You just did it. Eventually you expect to do it and somehow you even look forward to it.

At least that’s been my experience.

Even with oatmeal.

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"You must do the thing you think you cannot do." – Eleanor Roosevelt


Sometimes we just get in our own way. Like when it comes to making or breaking a habit. Sometimes we don’t start or stop a habit, make a change, take a bow or forge a new beginning because we don’t think we are able to.

Somewhere along the way we get convinced or convince ourselves that we just really aren’t the kind of person who can (fill in the blank) exercise, lose weight, quit smoking, start over.

That conviction that we just can’t because we just aren’t that sort of person is a really comfortable excuse. I know. I used it for years.

But you know what? You are exactly that person and there’s nothing that changes an opinion of yourself faster than to go about doing the very things you think you can’t.

Maybe you didn’t take me up on my January 6th double-dog dare. You can take me up on it today. Just for today. Come on. Just for me. Do the one thing you think you cannot.

Surprise yourself!

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For more encouragement please join me on the "From Can't to Can Community" where we set and achieve audacious goals!

Yesterday I was peeling potatoes for a pot roast I was making. As I sliced into the first one I saw it was rotten on the inside. As I peeled further to get to the bad part I saw that it went all the way through the potato. Hadn’t seen that before, so naturally I took it and showed it to my husband. Nothing surprises him.

"Oh, that’s just an old wound," he said. "When it was growing it got hurt and just grew up around it."

To my husband’s credit, he has no idea he sparks so many of my blogs.

Wow – the analogy’s pretty rich, huh? I couldn’t even tell that the potato had a “wound’ deep inside. It looked perfectly fine on the outside, no obvious bruising or deformation. Only when I dug deep was there evidence.

It just grew up around it. It didn’t let it hold it back from being the best potato it could be. It didn’t end up as scrap or hog fodder. It was the pride of the grocery bin.

There’s a lot of wisdom in a vegetable, huh?

Soldier on --

Definition of DILIGENT: characterized by steady, earnest, and energetic effort : painstaking
adjective -- constant in effort to accomplish something; attentive and persistent in doing anything -- industrious, assiduous, sedulous – busy, indefatigable, untiring, tireless, unremitting.

Some mornings there’s nothing more motivating than scrolling through on-line dictionaries chasing one really great word.

And what more fitting word on the eve of the end of our three-week double-dog dare than: diligent.

And not just this 21 days, but every day, shouldn’t that be our goal—just to be diligent about being us?

Whatever we are do doing, wherever we go, if we are going to show up, shouldn’t we show up and make our showing up count?

The last definition in the chain read: To perform with intense concentration, focus, responsible regard.

Yeah! Let’s show up today with some of that!! Build some trust, build some relationships, build some sandcastles – with diligence!

Soldier on!