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Hi Elvina, I think your sponsors are right  Angeliis Hi , Angeliis my sister is going by the hurt i had experienced from this woman and is concerned, because it is not just once, The woman was also screwed up in her addiction with marijuana as I was and she has quit smoking and clearer in her mind I have been 6 months sober and clean and doing very well.One hand I see my sister is concerned I don't lose myself again. I know inside I won't because if I drink again I could die I was not drinking when I was involved with this woman, but in the past 6 months I have a support network a drug and alcohol councilor two sponsors in AA who work an honest program. I am hosting a step meeting at my place so I have to keep committed to myself And my recovery. Even though my sister is concerned. She say's she has never gone back to her ex boyfriends. Say's i never works. to even have a friendship, But I am seeing this as her using only her experience of relationship. I have also witnessed her that once she makes her mind up not to like someone she stays with that. I have been feeling torn because my sister and I have in the past 6 months been getting closer then we ever have in our entire lives. I don't wan to lose her. Though at the same time I am hearing from this woman I won't hurt you again i will be gentle with you . I have no expectations. I realize how I hurt you and used you and I want to apologize to you. In my addiction I have hurt a close friend and even my mother , but they both have forgiven me and the past is behind us. My ex never took responsibility for the way she treated me and say's she wants me to see her for who she is being now. All day today I have been feeling tears and I do not know what for. I want to give my ex a chance to show me as a friend that she can be one. Though I am having incredible anxiety from my sister. The fear of i told you so. Though I do know people are capable of change. My ex said in her chronic use of pot it made her different. She has put the other woman completely out of her life. My sister say's she just wants you because she is alone now. Though my ex has accepted that I am spending Christmas with my sister and even if things go ok between us that would not change. I am praying about it and I have been sending Kundalini Reiki to the situation and talking to my sponsors. what they say to me is be clear on what your priorities are as long as you are clear and strong in your own spirit ,. You will be able to see her for the truth. Hi Elvina, I wanted to comment on a few things in regard to your response. 1) I think your sister means well and her heart is in the right place..I believe she is looking out for you but try not to let her opinion sway what you know is true in your gut. Gut instincts never steer you wrong. Do a little meditating and I'm sure the answer will come to you. You'll know what to do when the time comes. 2) Also I am not so sure how well your sister can really know this person if she only met her one time. And maybe she is only going by what you confided in her. So you may want to keep that in mind. After all you know this person better right? ANd you know what really happened etc. 3) That doesnt mean to be a doormat either...But I do believe if you allow her back into your life... It doesn't mean you have to be hurt by her. Unless of course you have expectations yourself that are different then hers. Only the two of you would know that and it may be a good idea to lay your cards on the table. Personally I think...intimate relationships once ended.... can remain friends..but you just have to make sure you enforce boundaries. Not everyone would agree with that but thats my opinion. I try not to judge people because you never really know what their reasons are for doing the things they do..but it certainly doesn't give them right to hurt another...intentionally. Thanks Love Angeliis Hi Cory, You stated it simply and direct. "Acceptance will always create peace whereas expectation invites conflict. " And that doens't necessarily mean conflict with others.. It could also be conflict within oneself. Thanks Love Angeliis Hi Sheila, I know what you mean and I try to look at friendship or for that matter relationships in that way. I tend to always ask myself.. "what is it I am to learn about myself from this relationship?" etc. Life is certainly a learning lesson Love Angeliis Hi Caren, What you stated is exactly what confuses me so haha I did hear of that expression "Friends come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime.." And I'm the type that if they are not lifetimers ..I try to figure out why they aren't haha AND if they are only seasons ....I'm always trying to figure out the reasons if they are not exactly clear to me. So now you see why I have to learn just to ACCEPT HAHA THANKs for your comment Love Angeliis Angeliis...this is a beautiful post and a wonderful awareness! Acceptance will always create peace whereas expectation invites conflict. Thank you for sharing this! Love Cory!!
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I wanted to say something about friendship . A woman who was a lover had hurt me over a few times. Guess because I give maybe people the benefit of the doubt. this was 6 months ago. She now for the first time is admitting how she disrespected me and wants to make emense. she claims she has no expectations, I told her it will take a long time to build trust with me. My sister who loves me tells me I should just walk away. She did not like her when she first met her, but is only going on what she senses and has not seen her . My sister says her feelings will never change towards this woman. This woman has never apologized to me. This is the first time she has and say's to me I won't hurt you again. She say's she has changed and made changes in her life. My sister tells me oh she is just manipulating you. She say's not to even take a risk inviting her into your life again. I feel torn because i also believe we are human and capable of changing how we are with others. I will be meeting her for coffee in 2 weeks on my terms. She is asking me to not be afraid that she wants me to see her for who she really is and not the messed up person she was when she met me. I have been praying to my creator and asking my spirit guides to help me because i still don't know if I am doing the right thing by meeting her. She for the first time is hearing from me that i still feel hurt from her and that takes time to heal. People say they have no expectation, but I would imagine that she does have expectation. I arranged to meet her for coffee and not meet her at her home. I have set some firm boundaries with her of what I would and would not accept and would walk away if I saw , or felt from her that she wasn't being honest with herself , or me. Part of me knows my sister is just looking out for my well being, but at the same time I sense that once she makes a decision about a person she sticks with that and doesn't;t sway from her belief and claims that she still senses bad energy and she is never wrong. I am feeling anxious . I don't know if this is because i am choosing to have coffee with this woman, or my anxiety is coming from my sister's opinion, as my sister only met her once. and is going by only the hurt the woman had caused me to experience. a mouthful here . expectation I think there is always expectation even if our intentions are not that. love and light Elvina Hi Angellis, Friendships give me the opportunity to love the parts of me that might not be accessible to me without the outward manifestations! They bring me clarity, and help me reaffirm and expand my own heart!  As for the friendships that left me wanting......I was not being "authentic" to my own self. Thank you , for inspiring me to take a deeper look at the relationships I am building.......and have built! Gratitude, and Love, Sheila Great insight Angeliis, "accept instead of expect." I'm writing that nugget down so I don't forget. I believe that the people in our lives are there to teach us something about ourselves. Ellen's blog got a lot of us thinking about friendship today! My favorite friendship quote was by Rhonda Britten on Starting Over. Did you ever see that show? Reality TV before there was reality TV. I always wanted to go to the Starting Over house and get healed. Friends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. - Rhonda Britten It seems to explain a lot for me. ♥Caren4u
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