Our first born was a special developmentally-disabled little boy, which we didn’t know until he was 15 months old. The doctor kept answering our questions with, ‘He’ll grow out of it’…meaning his slow (almost no) development like other babies and toddlers his age. He couldn’t chew food, or even keep it down so it could nourish and build his body.
Finally after 15 months taking care of Frankie 24/7 with his physical situation, health issues, (surgery, pneumonia, in hospitals and out, and lots more) I had to do something. Now I had a second son who was 3 months old, much more advanced than Frankie at 15 months of age.
His daddy wasn’t available to assist a lot because we owned a business where 12+ hour days, seven days a week was required. The business was very successful, crowded all the time.
When Frankie was 15 months old, we visited a retired doctor that delivered me into this world to get some answers. One look at little Frankie, and he said, “Your son is retarded (developmentally disabled).” I didn’t even know what that term meant. I was a young mom, 20 years old, had seen only active, healthy, thriving infants.
You know, I was so relieved to finally have someone tell me the truth! Now I had a ‘starting point’. I wouldn’t give up, I would find something, some way, some place to help him. That was my passion and ‘mommy determination’.
I began to research, study, write letters even to National Institutes of Health and other places I found in the library. I didn’t find much out there, so took the challenge on myself. I WOULD find a way! I had hope, a passionate hope, that carried me on day after day, many times hour by hour.
I went from one passion goal to another with Frankie because I was determined to find a way to help him progress to be as ‘normal’ as possible. He didn’t learn to sit up until 18 months, and that was with constant ‘practicing’ many hours every day. He also didn’t comprehend when we talked to him, he didn’t talk. He never talked his entire 39 years on this world.
Frankie didn’t know how to chew food, and buying Gerber’s baby food was too expensive. All he could eat was pureed food, otherwise he would choke. So we enlarged the garden, grew our own food, and pureed all his food. We bought uncountable crates of peaches, pears, other fruit and vegetables and canned them in quart jars. I would have 12 dozen quarts of peaches canned each year, and can’t even remember how many of the other fruits and vegetables. I baked all the bread and other items. When I remember back now, I really don’t know where I got the energy or found the time to accomplish everything. Yes, I do know. My reliance on my God, my best friend, my prayers. Miracles happened every day.
Groceries: Once every 6 weeks I went to a larger city to a discount grocery mart, filled the car with enough of everything to last 6 weeks. The milkman delivered milk and butter to the door three times weekly. Sorry, got sidetracked, but this is part of the passion story too. Passion never gives up, it’s unstoppable. Back to Frankie.
When Frankie was 2 years old, I felt there had to be some way to teach him to walk, now that he could sit up. By this time I had researched all over the country, read every book I could get my hands on….searching because the medical people offered no assistance.
He also was sick often, bronchitis, pneumonia, ear infections, grand mal seizures (these scared me to death every time he had one – the jolting of his little body in my arms, turning blue, then becoming listless…I thought he was going to die.)
Back to walking. We had a 4-wheel walker. Somehow Frankie would learn to walk. I realized the only way he learns is by repetition every day, often. If we don’t follow through daily, even several times each day, he forgets and we had to start over from scratch.
So, in the walker he goes. I crouch down on my knees, place one of his little feet on the floor, then the other… left foot down, right foot down, for many hours every day, never missing a day. Finally after months (I don’t remember how many) he developed the habit of walking. This was awesome success!! My passion was my drive to move forward, no matter what, when, why, where!
But mix that with a little guy who doesn’t comprehend words… He required 24/7 attention because he didn’t remember not to do unsafe or dangerous things. Solving one challenge led to many new ones, too many to share here.
Eventually he learned to open doors… so he’d fall down the stairs into the basement, he’d pull items like hot steaming coffee off the table and get second-degree burns; he opened the outside door and was in the middle of the state highway next to our house.
Frankie did find joy in a couple simple things. He loved Lawrence Welk music and other music too, and loved to suck on a chocolate Hershey Bar (without nuts, of course). Simple pleasures, what a life lesson.
Frankie was my passion for five years, until I just couldn’t keep him safe at home any longer. By then we had two younger sons, and their lives were very important too.
Frankie was the ‘angel guide’ who transformed my life. He is the reason for my passion in health care and for assisting people to accomplish and achieve their desires and goals, no matter how small or large.
I began that transformation by working in health care facility, then as accountant and business consultant to health care and other businesses, entrepreneur, and more. I always have passion. Frankie taught me that passion (an intense desire and commitment) is necessary foundation to accomplish anything.
This little boy did learn to walk and he taught me more about life than anyone or any thing ever could.
Frankie lived his purpose on this world and he led me to my purpose and passion(s). Thank God for the opportunity to have an angel named Frankie in my life!
Barbara Filla
Passion Branding Community Passion Clarification, Brand Recognition, Monetization and more
PS: I invite you to share stories about passion(s) you’ve had already in your life – small passions, large passions, short term passions and long term passions. Passion is what carries you through difficulties and challenges. Your story is the perfect inspiration for other people.
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