A Reality Check

Life gives us what we need when we need it. Receiving what it gives us is a whole other thing.
Pam Houston – In My Next Life (1992)

When was the last time you had a heart to heart talk with Life? Have you included Life in your current game plan or are you expecting Life to read your mind? Have you been mumbling a litany of complaints under your breath so that Life is a bit wary of being criticized and judged by you rather than loved and respected?

Are you so moody that life has to slow down to a crawl and tip toe around you to avoid upsetting you? Have you been ignoring life in favor of manufacturing fantasies of how good and right you are when things are going your way and how bad and wrong you are when your idealized image of yourself is thwarted?

If any of the above resembles you, take heart. We are going to settle in and create an opportunity to include Life in our current plans and also to really listen to what Life wants us to know at this time.

We are going to accomplish this through a series of specific, formal questions that will form a communication bridge between you and your life. Here is your first question. What do you want from life that you are currently not getting? Answer the question this way. Life, what I want from you that I’m not getting is (fill in the blank). What are you currently getting from Life that you don’t want? State: Life, what I am getting from you that I don’t want is (fill in the blank).

The next question has two parts. What are you withholding from Life and what are you giving Life instead? Here is where a deeper level of self-disclosure and self-honesty is called for. Since life hasn’t been giving you what you want and has been giving you what you don’t want, you have given yourself permission to hedge and withhold from life. You have been withholding an important part of you from life and replaced it with something else. Something that seems easier and less demanding of you to give. State: Life, what I am withholding from you is (fill in the blank) and what I am giving you instead is (fill in the blank). Once you have uncovered and discovered what you have been holding back, it is time to make a new resolve to let go of withholding this important ingredient and let Life know that you are willing to step up your commitment and involvement as of today.

Now formulate a clear statement in the present tense that will let Life know that you sincerely want a new chance to deepen your partnership. Finish this statement: Life, my unspoken truth that I am now willing for you to know is that I am (fill in the blank).

Now that you have openly and honestly communicated with Life, it is time for Life to respond back to you. Take a deep breath and settle into your inner guidance and you will hear the voice of Life communicating to you. Listen closely as Life begins to answer the same questions. What I, Life, want from you that I haven’t been getting is (fill in the blank). What I, Life, am getting from you that I don’t want is (fill in the blank). What I, Life, have been withholding from you is (fill in the blank) and what I have been giving you instead is (fill in the blank).

You see, Life has been matching your shaky participation by being less than cooperative with you also. Life will now make a clear statement to you in the present tense that will acknowledge the new level of intimacy and partnership you are establishing with Life today.

Listen for the completion of this statement: I, Life, am now willing to (fill in the blank).

Know that as a result of your willingness to stop, listen and seek new understanding and knowledge, today is the dawning of a new reality and a new level of enthusiasm for life that can take hold and begin to grow. Simply bump up the music and you will discover a little known secret about life. Life loves to dance.