5 Comments
My Dear BH Sister, Lisa, This is a very interesting topic that you bring awareness to... I will speak only from my experience and I can tell you two things definitely. I have learned to be an observer first, then ask myself...if I were to walk in this person's moccasins how would I want to be responded to? It allows me to come from non-judgement as I do not know...usually, what is going on in that person's experience to even say something that might offer value....Second, I choose to be the change that I see in the world so I am acknowledging SELF and starting there. I have found that I teach people how to treat me so it is up to me to stand firm in my groundedness and BE ME. I know what is good and not so good for me by how I feel....I am more aware...and I pay attention to that. Should I not follow through on what my soul is telling me is right for me...that is my inner work. What I know Lisa, is that I am doing the work first. I choose to be true to my essence. It is the work that I have dedicated to do for myself, then others, and some will be with me on this journey....and most not. But that is not for me to say...that is their choice, their journey. I trust this makes sense I look so forward to seeing you at RISE!!! Love Darlene
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Thank you, my sisters. Your wisdom has assisted to me see today's questions as part of a much larger transformation, or shift that is happening for me right now. I love and appreciate your input. I am going to BE quiet with all of this for a while and allow myself to BE in touch with my emotions, shift them onto the prosperity highway where necessary and then when I do choose to speak, allow my words to be true and from the gentle, loving heart of the warrior within me. with much love and gratitude, Lisa
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Hi Lisa....can't wait to hug you next week at Rise! In my Humble opinion: Yes, we can accept others without enabling them. To me...Accepting means...not Judging the person! I also feel Behavior is separate from the person. When the kids were little and their behavior was Not acceptable...I would say, I love you, but do Not appreciate this behavior! If someone's behavior is directly Impacting my life...I have the right to block, remove suggest they stop or walk away from that Behavior. Just because I accept (not judge) someone's behavior...does not mean I have to (enable) or subject myself to the negative consequences of that behavior. Examples: Lets say I discover my (fictitious) husband is a compulsive gambler. I would stand by him during treatment, continue to love him but also establish separate bank accounts.....or.... I know Joe Schmoe is a horrible driver. He is a nice guy but I could be killed if I ride in a car with him. We would drive separate cars everywhere...! LOL Regarding Constructive Criticism...I saw a blog here in BH a while ago that said..".It's only Help if you ask for it"...! Ha, I love that saying... I noticed I am tired of people telling me what I Should do...and it has kept me from imposing my opinion (judging) unless I am asked for assistance. But...the minute I am personally impacted...I have the right to speak up...make a suggestion...and ultimatly remove myself from the line of fire! Cheers, Anne
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Hi Lisa, I'll offer this....when I first dabbled in unconditional love, I found myself a little confused as I moved back and forth a lot in between it with myself and others. Unconditional love is defined as love without conditions. When you say "enabling negative behavior" could that be a judgment and possibly conditions? For me, I found that it took mastering unconditional love for myself to be able to fully give it to other people. I love the part about your warrior using her voice. You hit on something very important in the beginning when you wrote "practicing the be-ing instead of the do-ing." Believe it or not, focusing on that one thing WILL help resolve your challenges. Respect and gratitude, Caren4u Hi Lisa, What you are describing is "Entrainment." "Acceptance" is a tricky concept......it means approval! Enable, on the other hand means: to supply the means, knowledge or opportunity to do something....to permit. Both words are great for business, but do not allow for fluid movement! A woman's "Voice" is her "POWER!" There are stories of such courage and strength throughout history......I "remember" two: Wangari Maathai, and the movie "Rabbit Proof Fence," a story of the awesome power of "core singing." It is like muscle pain that is caused by pelvic tilt.....or any other structure that needs a shift.....you can "massage" the issue into dormancy for a while, but it will come back with a vengence.....and cause other structures to create holding patterns to lend energy to the blockage....until the ground substance "web" has become like concrete! Living form the "Core," gives a fluid knowledge of when to "shift" the body / and/or mindset. There are gifts that are carried in "my tool box." What's in yours?
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I had a small ah-ha moment this morning which prompted a series of questions that I am beginning to explore. I would love your perspectives on this. 
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