The blessings from the Loss~POP~

I have decided to post this a few days leading up to Fathers day because the gift I received from this experience. It is one I want to share~I parked myself in a Cot next to his hospital Bed. I had seven glorious days. We relived 44 years of fun, love and pains. As the day grew closer and the pain medicines increased I watched his mind go deep~I felt is pain, his embarrassments and his thoughts leave his body~He would sit up in his drug induced daze and lead a band in a favorite song with his arms in the air and and his voice singing in a muffle. He was a avid golfer, funny, active and ALWAYS my POP~we were close in so many ways. He was not a religious man and had pulled us from church at an early age I feel due to Mom the child abuse against myself, which he was not told of. But i believe MOM found a way to get us out. He felt like if he went in a church the roof would fall in. I type in deep tears just recalling the 5 year ago experience. The very moment of his last breathe was an experience not many would believe. and a whole other note in it's self. This experience was like nothing I could ever dream up myself~This note was written the very next morning as I awoke and the JOY of the experience had opened my eyes~Even though I feel like I said it all to him before he past I still felt like I could have said more~The final sentences in this note are much deeper than I could ever describe on paper or any blog~
HAD I ONLY KNEW~

I WISH I COULD TAKE YOU ALL THERE~

~POP~

Before You go I wish I would have said You are really the best you know.

Before You leave it would have been nice to say the thought of You makes my day.

Before You depart there is something I must say from my heart. I treasure You and I have from the start.

I dont know how to say goodbye, to watch You see Your last green tree, to watch You see Your last sunset & your last sunrise. I watched You see Your last blue sky and even Your last few meals & yes I got those last few hugs & your very last kiss.

To hear You hum You re Your last few tunes and lead Your final band.
To watch You look deep into my eyes, deep into my heart and deep into my soul.
Then suddenly deep into Yourself. This gift is my gift from you.

As You prepared to make Your final day, I couldnt even speak & I knew without You in my life I will always feel somewhat weak.

I watched You on the last days of Your earthly journey, I felt like I knew all along that Your day was close at hand. I knew You were never wrong. You are my father, my counselor & my very best friend. I will always hold you dear to my heart.

I was at the Gates when they opened for You I was there when You said yes to enter thru.

You have now completed Your journey, I’m so thankful I was there & even though everything was not said. I know You will hear them in heaven instead.

Sharon Faye(Bunny)