My Kitchen Table

I went to a party with my husband the other day and I ran into an old friend from my college days.   I hadn't seen her in many years and the LOVE was flowing as we hugged and swapped stories and tried to catch each other up with what was going on in our lives.     She is a successful psycho-therapist with a private practice.  I told her all about my music career.    When the laughing began to wane she reached out and touched my hand.    She said,  "Claudia you have always been such an inspiration to me."

Now..  this came as quite a shock to me that I inspired her.    Although I am wiser now, in my twenties-thirties I was an emotional mess.  I suffered from depression, low self esteem and had my share of dysfunctional relationships with the opposite sex.   "I inspired YOU?  I asked befuddled."  

Then she reminded me of a story from my past-- a story about my kitchen table.

Back in those days I had a dysfunctional relationship with a young man.   We had a roller coaster relationship (up, down, on, off, etc.)    I put up with the instability because I WAS AFRAID TO BE ALONE.  Finally one day in a moment of clarity (when the relationship was off) I realized that this relationship would never be what I needed.   I realized that I wanted a future with a dependable husband and a family-- so I did something DIFFERENT.    I broke up with the guy PERMANENTLY.

Then I drove to a furniture store and made a purchase:  A huge beautiful oak dinner table & chairs.   This table was the very first furniture purchase I ever made, but the table represented more than a piece of furniture to me.

I told myself and a few of my friends...

This table represents my sustenance, my family and my future.   I will drink tea with my girlfriends at this table.   One day I will drink wine with my husband at this table.  One day I will serve my family Thanksgiving dinner on this table.   One day I will roll out gingerbread cookie dough on this table with my children...and so on.    The table helped me believe that I would not be ALL ALONE.   

After Susan reminded me of this story from my past I began to cry.    I had forgotten all about that story.    Then I spoke..  I STILL HAVE THAT KITCHEN TABLE and YES...  I baked gingerbread cookies on it last month!  I took in the moment, incredulous at the thought that something I did (30 years ago) would be remembered.   Amazed at how my thoughts (and my table) helped me to manifest a family life.  Susan shared that she has imparted this story to many of her young female clients through the years.     

We can never measure the impact we have on one another.

Keep inspiring

Claudia

...positively soulful music and inspiration

www.claudiacarawan.com