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Saying goodbyes...

Posted Jun 5, 2009 02:35 PM
We're leaving in about 3 -4 weeks' time, and we will be saying goodbye to a wonderful supporting community of friends and people whom are even closer than family it often seems. Off course there's email, Skype, mobile phones etc. which is a blessing untold. Giving notice to my landlord and the children's school was purely a mechanical action, two items on my checklist that needed to be done timeously for good effect. Two weeks after doing so, it hit me for the first time (oh my gosh).... I was leaving my comfort zone - a safe space that had held my children and I for a while. A space in which I had grown, and every growth I embraced, I saw my children grow and step into their own power too. When I was prepared to take a risk, moving beyond my fears, they did the same in their emotional growth. The two concepts are inextricably linked. If parents grow, their children grow. So it seems in my experience.

So what is it about saying goodbye that is so painful and difficult? What identification with aspects of our lives hold us back from moving forward? Is it facing the unknown that has us holding on to the same routines, same environment, same friends, same job, same habits and patterns of behaviour that feels comfortable? Or those creature comforts we surround ourselves with on a daily basis? Why do we doubt our innate ability to be adjustable, flexible, spontaneous, adventurous and even versatile? Is fear the culprit, and giving in to it, that has us sabotage ourselves from stepping into our greatness and into the world where we can make a difference?

My friend Nix shared with me a view that those who are aware and present to our universe's spiritual signs, say right now we are experiencing the power of ending of the old, and the start of the new. This has a lot to do with saying goodbye. This points towards birth and rebirth, celebrating the death and demise of the "birthbag" which diligently supported the growth of exquisite new life, sacrificing itself while launching new creation into being..... Pain and joy side by side. How to feel the one AND the other at the same time, so as not to resist one in preference to the other?

Hasta la vista - goodbye. And Hasta pronto - see you soon or until soon.

This epic journey has already started. Everything constantly reminds me of that. Anyone else of logical (and sound) thinking mind would remind me that I've not left yet, that the vehicle is booked in for some alterations and fittings on 1st July, and only a week later will we be setting off on our journey. My checklist is not complete yet, so how has my journey already started?

Simply stated: our past is always sitting in our future. Every moment I live now is in the past the next minute. Therefore every thought and plan I have now slips into the past, which is where I am subconsciously creating (sowing) my future. When I live in the past, I "re-live" the past constantly, because I'm setting it into my future and therefore experience reaping the "patterns" of the same successes and mistakes over and over again.

Therefore I am learning the skill of creating my future and powerfully choosing my actions. I'm learning to live in the moment, learning to savour the present and give gratitude for every blessing. I'm learning to embrace the unknown and uncertainty is my friend. I'm learning to trust my intuition and I am inspiration in action.

Do I want "hum-ho" OR inspired adventure travel? I get to choose. I get to say ;) Soon it's goodbye to the old and hello to the new......
4 Comments
Hi Binibu, Linda and Grazyna,

Thank you for your generous responses and I'm hearing and receiving your love and support for me which is very special. We are all brave(heart) and courageous women and I acknowledge you!!. I love Chopra's writing and teachings so it is with joy that I embrace and resonate with his advice: "The antidote is unconditional love. The remedy is finding out what your heart is longing for. The cure is wanderlust . . . opening to the unknown."

"When we find ourselves feeling expansive, abundant, and affluent . . . then it is clear that we are seeing our journey from the perspective of love. " I couldn't agree more!!! Thank you Binibu for inserting the passage, you listened to your heart. It was meant for me.

Grazyna, you're absolutely correct : "Your children will have so much life experience to ad to their curriculum, none of the standard school can teach them that." I'm a firm believer in experiential learning as opposed to "force-fed" learning (which is how I was taught and most government schools still practice because of time-constraints and huge volumes students in classrooms).

What is lacking in the "average" classroom in schools is developing the child's emotional intelligence. Teachers should facilitate rather than teach. Being supportive of children finding their own passion and voice and then letting them grow and develop that which is precious, into their becoming a wonderful grown-up, an asset to society and a wonderful parent in their future as well. It is essential for a child to have a voice, to be able to express themselves clearly and powerfully.

Communication is lacking in most homes and the underlying cause of all misunderstandings, bottled-up anger and conflict, which as we know, occurs everywhere around the world, all the time. The ability to HEAR (consciously listen and understand another's point of view without judgement or defensiveness and be OK that it's just that person's view or opinion)) and to be HEARD (feel that someone is truly listening and communicates their understanding back) is a SKILL which can be learned. We have workshops at our school for parents, and part of their commitment in joining the school is to attend these workshops so as to grow within themselves, at the same time as their children are learning communication skills at school, and thus create the shifts in communication at home. This impacts further into the parent's workplace and outwards, and there is the wonderful ripple effect of what is possible. I think the school's website explains all this better than I do, so if you're interested, have a look at Synergy School

"I now have a space to fill with new relationships with new friends, and that is wonderful and exciting." Yes Linda, I get that, and it's sounds like a new clean canvas ready to receive all sorts of colours and strokes with a brand new paintbrush. Sublime and exciting at the same time. I love that you said "the familiar will become a frame of reference I will always cherish."

Thank you for your nuggets of wisdom, they are so appreciated. Love to you all, Liis
Dear Lisa,

as I´m very new to this community, I haven´t got to know you yet. Though I want to encourage you for going on your single mom journey with the kids :-x

In the following are some lines from the Chopra newsletter which just came in this morning. It really fits in here well.

All the best!!!
Sabine

Wanderlust – in its original translation from German, this word meant “to enjoy the hike.” In English, we’ve borrowed this term and altered it a bit to mean a “desire to journey.” So you could say our entire life is one long journey with each moment extending into the next, building upon what has already been created. With each step we venture forth into an unknown realm; with each word, each thought, and each action, we participate in the unending creation of the universe. Life’s impressions flow through us, and we distill them through our intellect and define them through our ego.

We get to choose our interpretation. Sometimes our life conditioning clouds or influences the moment, our interpretation, and our response. But nevertheless, our own individual view of life is the only interpretation we have. Our personal journey is THE journey and we have a choice: dive in and celebrate the journey or back up, freeze, or complain about it. When we find ourselves feeling constricted, jealous, or fearful, or we are looking outside of ourselves for answers, it is evident that we have chosen to view the journey with a less-than outlook that comes from an interpretation of lack or scarcity. When we find ourselves feeling expansive, abundant, and affluent . . . then it is clear that we are seeing our journey from the perspective of love.

Regardless of our interpretation, in each moment the journey continues . . . and we have the opportunity in that instant to take a step towards abundance, expansion, and wanderlust – to learn as we grow, to see each moment as a guidepost of the journey, and to know that only from a place of openness does our world grow.

Right now you probably know someone in a state of constriction (it may even be you). They are in pain and fear; they feel doubtful and they do not believe in themselves or in the divine god or goddess that rests within. They may be exhibiting panic, stress, anxiety, greediness, selfishness, aggressiveness, or just plain meanness. Know that in any moment, this could be any of us. The antidote is unconditional love. The remedy is finding out what your heart is longing for. The cure is wanderlust . . . opening to the unknown, if just a little bit at a time.

[...]the true journey is learning to see the world with fresh eyes. This is our daily path to freedom and expansion. Enjoy your journey . . . wherever it leads.

http://www.chopra.com/agni/jun09/intro
Dear Lisa,

I absolutely love the idea of teaching children "on the road". It's like a mobile-school of life. :)

Your children will have so much life experience to ad to their curriculum, none of the standard school can teach them that.
It's a challenge, for sure, but I believe- worse it.
As for me, I try- as much as possible- to expose my own children and students to "real life" experiences.

Goodbyes are painful...I agree.
It took me, personally, a very long time to accept that they are part of life.

Wishing you all the best in these last weeks of the preparation for this amazing journey.

Much courage and love. :-x

Grazyna Jensen
Be a Pathway to Peace
Aloha from Hawaii, Lisa from South Africa!

Welcome to BraveHeart Women. I admire you! You are embarking upon the adventure of your life with a great attitude! What a gift to your children.

I have recently been separated from the friends who have become family to me, and I know that it is wrenching. The thing is, I now have a space to fill with new relationships with new friends, and that is wonderful and exciting.

As you journey forward on your path, there will be much to learn and embrace. This is a beginning, and the familiar will become a frame of reference you will always cherish.

Have a wondrous exploration of all the new possibilities, my newest BraveHeart friend!

Expect miracles!:-x

Linda Carol Berry

Let It Be Fun Community

~
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