25 Comments
Dear Aqsdawesome, You're so right... for every woman that owns that she's smart and pretty, her Self-esteem rises! That was PRETTY SMART of you as well!  Thank you for your comments. In Loving Light...  Dr. Pamela Free Your Soul Community
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This is a great idea to boost a woman's self esteime. Very smart (or should I say PRETTY SMART) of you to creat this. I enjoy and agree with it. Dear Cat, "Women must band together as supportive sisters that nurture and guide one another"... and do not compete with each other! I also agree that societal and cultural traditions throughout the world have placed a fortuitous blessing upon giving birth to and raising boys, while placing a negative onus on giving birth to and raising girls. This kind of conditioning that forms so many sexist beliefs, and denies the true worth of women, most definitely has to be reversed! Young girls, as well as grown women, are entitled to feeling and being considered pretty and smart without being objectified by men, or each other, in the process! In Loving Light... Dr. Pamela Free Your Soul Community
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Namaste, Dr. Pamela, Women must band together as supportive sisters that nurture and guide one another. I have never felt that I am pretty or smart by my family, friends or anyone that I know. I do believe that I refuse to be treated as an object to be gazed upon or one who entertains men solely for their pleasure without any regard of my thoughts, feelings or how I want to be entertained. It's time for women, all women of the world to reevaluate cultural traditions and to place as much pride to little girls for just being a little girl as there is much pride in having a boy....Cat Dear Mirabai, I'm glad you "happened" on my post at the perfect time for you! It's funny, because most women believe that if you appear externally pretty, or beautiful, your life is easy and you have it made! I know for sure that is not the case, and that, often, being pretty makes you doubt that you're ever being taken seriously, or makes you wonder if that's the only reason why anyone is attracted to you. So frequently, very attractive women are insecure about what they really have to offer, since the world seems to keep reinforcing their appearance, and not their substance. So It's up to each of us, as women, to not buy into a belief that so limits us, even leading us to believe that if we are pretty, then we must not be too bright! Once you start affirming that you are both, and carry that Truth within you, then you can receive a compliment believing that they're actually captured by your inner beauty, which is composed of your wisdom and substance as a woman who honors and values her True Self. You can be Pretty and Smart... but it's you who has to believe it, so that you can trust others in what they tell you. It is not about what they think, it is about what you feel about your Self. The more you accept your Self, the easier this will be for you. Raising your Soul-Esteem™ by reversing this conditioning will benefit you greatly. In Loving Light... Dr. Pamela Free Your Soul Community
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Dear Dr. Pamela, I happened upon your post this morning as I was struggling with an issue that has been bothering me for quite some time. I am told quite frequently how beautiful I am, and it makes me very uncomfortable, because for some reason I feel that if they see that I am beautiful then I must not be intelligent. I have no reason to believe I am not beautiful or some kind of super genius, but I just can't trust the complement or the acknowledgment and so I am faced with it more and more. How do I trust what people are saying and accept myself for what I am and stop being afraid that being pretty must mean that they think I am stupid in some way. Mirabai Dear Deborah, Why do we try so hard to fit in when we were all born to stand out and be individuals? YES!!!  Well said! Being pretty and smart is not about competing with anyone, or flaunting your assets to outshine others. It is about acknowledging and embracing your gifts and attributes and valuing all parts of who you are... and not diminishing your own Light for the sake of others! In Loving Light... Dr. Pamela Free Your Soul Community
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I have learned a long time ago to be an individual and to lead by example...Yes I like nice things but I have also learned that I do not need to flaunt what I have... I live a quite very simple and smart life... I do not live above my means..I do not feel that I have to compete with anyone.. Why do we try so hard to fit in when we were all born to stand out and be individuals? The best to everyone Deborah  Dear Toigolston, That's wonderful that you freed yourself from the affect that others could have had on your Self-esteem. So many girls and women are unable to do that. And while it's true that, as women, we are all masterpieces, until we realize that for ourselves, the tendency still is to downplay our assets and fabulous attributes. So I am so glad that you know that you are smart and pretty and wonderfully made... and can show up for your Self in all of your glory... and inspire other women to do the same. In Loving Light... Dr. Pamela Free Your Soul Community
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Wow I absolutly agree with you Dr. Pamela. Growing up the world makes you believe that if you are smart then your ugly and if your "dumb" then your beautiful. I always struggled with this message since childhood. I overcame that issue though as a woman because I saw what guys were doing to girls' self esteem and I was tired of letting them and the females who fell into there labels affect me. I've found love that no one can ever compare to and that's the love of Jesus Christ. He told me I was worthy of His sacrifice and that I was made with no mistakes. I am a MASTERPIECE...I'm not like anyone else and no one else is like me! GOD created me and that makes me more than just smart and pretty but wonderfully made. -- Edited by toigolston at May 19, 2010 4:13 PM EDT Dear Azazaz, Thank you... I so appreciate your comments. I'm sure many of us were made to feel that we had to hide our intelligence in order to accentuate our prettiness. I also knew girls in high school that did the opposite... they were known for being really smart, and they did nothing to make themselves appear attractive. So it always seemed like we had to choose! I love, love, love what your mom said: " When the inner Soul is smart, healthy and strong, the outside will shine with the brilliance and beauty, that speaks for itself. It is then you will truly become a woman." Here's to us truly becoming and being WOMEN! In Loving Light... Dr. Pamela Free Your Soul Community
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Dear Dr. Pamela, I think this is PRETTY SMART of you to address this issue. I myself as a teen had to deal with the stigma of people assuming that if you were pretty you had to be stupid. Even until this day as a women, I still sometimes often get a reminder of this problem. This is one of the reason why I have had to address this issue over and over again with teen girl groups. As my mentor my mom once said," When the inner soul is smart, healthy and strong, the outside will shine with the brilliants and beauty, that speak for itself. It is then you will truly become a women." Thank You, Azazaz Dear Callowlilly, I'm delighted that someone your age is a member of this Community and thrilled that you feel inspired by what I'm conveying. I always wished there was someone around when I was a teenager that had a clue! Unfortunately, if girls your age have low or no Self-esteem, there's a good chance that they will continue that way well into adulthood... unless they begin to connect with their True Selves. That's why I think it's great that you are on this path! The best thing you can do for your Self and for your friends is to model this behavior in all situations, including with boys. You show that just because you are pretty AND smart, that doesn't mean that you're a threat to boys or your girlfriends. Let them join you as you influence them in a positive way, by demonstrating your wisdom. I'm so glad you're here! In Loving Light... Dr. Pamela Free Your Soul Community
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I agree with this, Im only a 15 year old girl, But i already know that girls my age have self esteem issues, and i think that its true that girls think that they either need to be pretty or smart, When i know so many of my friends who are both, and hide it becuase there scared there going to scare him off. I think this is true, and i think it sucks . Its hard being a teenage girl who thinks she has to be one or the other. This reall made me think.  Dear Laura, To be honest, I was having trouble with your earlier post in terms of how to best respond to it. Then, when I just read your P.S. post, I felt that you received my thoughts telepathically... so thank you for saying what I was thinking... I feel so relieved now! I will tell you that I yearned for an adequate female role model when I was a child, but could not find one, much to my dismay. So I had to figure it all out on my own ... and even though I did a pretty good job of it, it was a struggle every step of the way, surrounded by dysfunctional and disconnected adults. And as a therapist, I can tell you that there are many women who don't figure it out without proper role models to provide them with their sense of empowerment. So although it's up to all of us as individuals to find our true Selves, it would be nice if women were around to demonstrate what that looks like as we are raising our Selves. In Loving Light... Dr. Pamela Free Your Soul Community
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PS: I agree 100% that we as parents have a responsiblity to intstil in our children, especially our daughters, the magnitude of what it really means to be a W O M A N, how empowering that it can be to recognize and actually live their full potential, and also provide them with a sense that they have a right to live their lives, as you so astutely teach, with freedom of thought, expression, heart, mind, and soul. Hopefully they, as we did too, will find their true selves, and will strive to set their own course, when they're ready to, on the road to self-actualization in their respective life's journey. By example, at an early age, would definitely build a strong foundation in that regard. They, like us, learn, grow, and develop over time. Thank goodness that they, as we can, unlearn and re-learn, which I believe is a life-long process, to achieve alignment with our Higher Selves. All the Best, Laura
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