Does It Pain You When Your Kids Hurt?

Audie's blog about Kids Do Pay Attention to What We Do made me think about my own recent experience with another aspect of the issue.

When our kids are learning to walk, they fall down and sometimes even get hurt and cry, but we know it's a necessary part of learning to walk. It's only if they get really hurt that we might get concerned. Sometimes when they are learning to walk in adult life, it can be hard to see them take a nasty fall.

I've been so thrilled to watch my daughter find a way to view challenging situations in a positive light and turn them into gifts. Usually, she does this very quickly, but something very traumatic recently occurred from which she has not yet found the all gifts.

When it first happened, I was able to see the potential gifts, painful as the experience was, and feel grateful. However, as time went on, I realized that I was feeling strained by her pain. I tried my partner Judi's 13th row middle seat technique. This is where you imagine yourself in the best seat in the theater, 13th row middle seat, where you can see the entire stage and the actor's faces.

Life is like a play, everyone is scripting their own drama, and you wouldn't get out of the seat or even feel the need to help the actors unless they asked you up on the stage. It's their play, they get to write the script.

However, even recognizing this, I still wasn't feeling relaxed. Then my friend Andi asked me if I'd cut chords to my daughter. This is something I do all the time for clients who often experience incredible transformations. I had forgotten to do it with my daughter because I'd never felt the need (I didn't learn about chords till well after the terrible two's and teens, or I probably would have done it earlier!)

I did it immediately, and the relief I felt was amazing! I kept sighing and thanking Andi for reminding me.

It's so funny, I have cut chords before between myself and others, but I've never felt that level of immediate relief. I had been so energetically enmeshed with my daughter. Now I can relax and watch with compassionate interest from the 13th row middle seat.

Namaste,
Hedy
Awareness Transforms
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