Another Interesting Difference Between Men and Women: General: BraveHeart Women

Another Interesting Difference Between Men and Women Posted Apr 27, 2009 04:29 PM
1 Attachment argument1227837759.jpg (15.4 K) Speak up! Your life really depends on it! But his doesn't. How do you explain this? Women speak up more during marital arguments than men, men tend to be quieter. But women who didn’t speak up had four times the likelihood of dying at an earlier age. It made no difference to the men's longevity! Researchers looking at data from the Framingham Study also found that “marriage was good for men’s health and longevity regardless of marital strain, with one exception: Men who reported disruptions at home because their wives were upset at work had triple the risk of developing heart disease. The researchers speculate that men may feel frustrated when they can't "protect" their wives from an unhappy work environment.” Your thoughts on explaining these interesting results? Awareness Transforms Join us at The Relationship Dance!
Permalink Share and Enjoy: Del.icio.us Facebook Digg

3 Comments

Lynette and Joy,

Thanks for bringing up other important points on the differences we don't always feel so "vive la" about.

Men tend to communicate with the idea that it's to get something done, it's goal oriented, while women are more expressive. It's like speaking to someone from another culture, and in a way, we are. It took me a long time to get my husband to understand that sometimes I just wanted to feel heard, not solved.

The problem was, when I was really upset, sometimes I forgot my usual preface of "I just need to have you listen and know that you understand how I feel. All I want is for you to tell me what you think I'm feeling in your own words." He would forget and go to standard man style, but he usually remembers now. But if I was upset with him for forgetting, I had to realize I'd forgotten to cue him! I gave and give him appreciation for reflecting back, so he realizes he is doing something for me by listening.

It is so important to learn communication skills! Studies show that teaching them cuts down on bullying and violence even in early elementary school. One of my favorites is Non-Violent Communication. You can read about it in the Resource Directory in The Relationship Dance. You can also read about traits there, which help you understand the "culture" you're dealing with, as well as your own.

Lynette, I absolutely agree about how our communication style can create the eggshells. What a great metaphor!
It takes courage to express ourselves and courage to take the risk of stepping out of even a discomfort zone and trying new communication skills.

Hedy

I totally agree with what Lynette shared!!! Although I have often not wanted to share with my husband things that have concerned me at work, because his answer is always the same, hehe "Find another JOB", and most of the time I just want some one to listen as I vent!!! Sometimes it's just best to take a long walk or beat on some drums!!!! hehe

Joy

Hello Hedy,

Fascinating results... Over the years, I did notice that my husband would get upset if I was experiencing some stress at work. It was as if he felt it should get fixed and be done with and that I should not be bothered by it, and especially not take it personally.

Over the last several months it has become even clearer to me the need that exists, to teach and learn about authentic communication. I believe the world could save itself a lot of grief if communication - styles, skills, were taught from a young age.

Because we can never give what we do not own... unless we know how to express our self effectively and authentically, we cannot hope to teach that to our children.

Women often feel they cannot say what is on their mind - they walk on egg shells. Sometimes because of their own communication style, women even create eggshells.

It takes courage and a brave heart to practice expressing oneself till one reaches that place of authenticity. Only then can one really feel and be in true integrity.

Lynette

http://www.formulatomanifest.com

Search\|Advanced Search in
BraveHeart Women » BraveHeart Women Blogs » General » Hedy's Blog » Another Interesting Difference Between Men and Women
Welcome Guest	LOG IN \| Personalize \| Print \| Help

BraveHeart Women

BraveHeart Women Blogs

General

Hedy's Blog

Another Interesting Difference Between Men and Women

Another Interesting Difference Between Men and Women

Another Interesting Difference Between Men and Women