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Promoting Civility

Posted Sep 17, 2009 08:55 PM
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Recently we've had some shocking public incidents ranging from a Congressman yelling "You lie" to the President in Congress, to Kanye West's treatment of Taylor Swift and Serena Williams outburst at a line judge. These incidents are extreme and we haven't seen examples like them in public before, and certainly not so many so quickly.

The basis of society is respectful treatment of each other, obeying the written laws and unwritten norms based on the Golden Rule.

How can we understand what is going on, and of course, work to improve civility so that we can treat each other respectfully, even when we disagree?

I have been reading The Civility Solution: What do Do When People Are Rude by P.M. Forni. He has many good reasons for the decline in civility, especially a society where we lack the strong sense of unified community to condemn rude behavior and an increasingly materialistic attitude, where people don't count.

However one of the things he talked about at length was how people who are rude, if it's not just thoughtlessness, believe they have been, are or will be treated unfairly. He doesn't say it, but I think they also feel inadequate to deal with the situation. They are taking a victim posture or are like a child having a tantrum.

When people feel treated unjustly, whether correctly or not, they feel entitled to complain or retaliate. It need not even be to the source of their injustice. Plenty of spouses and cats will attest to receiving anger meant for the boss.

I've started a discussion in The Relationship Dance on how to respond to rudeness of different types. Here I wondered what you think are the reasons for the lack of civility we so often see. Do you think things are worse than twenty years ago (if some of you can remember that far ;))? What can be done about it?

Embrace Civility!
Hedy
Awareness Transforms
The Relationship Dance Community
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