The Learning Curve and "Friday the 13th"

I just looked at the calendar and realized it is Friday the 13th again some kind of leap year thing (“Friday the 13th” Episode 6” if you haven’t seen it)….and then I realized I have been creating my video blog for a month. I made a commitment to myself to post everyday and see what I learn. I have posted nearly everyday…sliding in under the wire at times, missing a day, maybe two. I must tell you, ridiculous as it may sound, if I missed a day in the past, it might have been just enough cause to beat myself up and go ahead and quit.

I had wanted to start The “Is It True?” Series for about a year, but for one reason or another, I did not. It was primarily fear, which is most often the case. When I finally made my first episode, it didn’t turn out very well at all. I felt super bummed out and overwhelmed. What now? I had waited so long that when I finally got started, the whole idea had gotten very heavy. It was weighted down by all the thoughts, fears, shoulda, woulda, couldas, etc. It became this huge thing. I had built it up so much in my head, that when my first video wasn’t anywhere near acceptable, I felt very disheartened.

I also had way too many ideas stored up. If I store up too many, without acting on them, I set myself up for having these huge expectations of myself and the ideas themselves. Ideas are meant to be implemented, regardless of what they may or may not become. I have observed that if I don’t honor my ideas, take some sort of action, at least check ‘em out, they come less often. It is almost as if the universe is saying, “Ok, if you’re not listening, we’ll just go elsewhere". Inspiration is a gift that is meant to be shared.

I sent it to Kent and Linda for feedback. They congratulated me on jumping into the water and gave me some great suggestions. At first, I overlooked the congratulations and heard only suggestions that I felt I could never do. Simple as they were, I had no self confidence. I viewed myself as a failure already and I had barely gotten started. I thought, “I can’t do this” I was ready to table it again for a while. I’d wait for the day it would be easier. I’d wait for the chatter in my head to stop. We all know that doesn’t work. I am so grateful for absolutely every tip they gave me and that I was able to listen. ….that I didn’t give up. They were sooooooooooooo right…..endless thanks for their patience and tolerance.

I have a long way to go, to learn and improve, yet there is no destination. I have no idea where I am going. There is peace in the going. When other opportunities to give up come along and they will if I continue to move forward, I’ll ask myself, “Is this what I really want, to give up?” Like when I could not figure out Movie Maker on my own. I felt like a doofus but my little nephew taught me something……searching instruction on YouTube. I went on to YouTube and a young man of about 10, showed me how to use it. I have recently learned all kinds of stuff this way. I am now ready to step it up a notch because I have more ideas that require more technology than this simple program. I joke about being in a very winding S type learning curve, but it really is true. I am in the continual period of transition that which is life…..if I’m really in it. If I Honor My Truth, I’m in the “S” curve.

Debra Hadraba
Honor Your Truth
Inspiration+Action