My house was loud growing up…..really loud. It was a blast! My Mom always said "no other kids fight like you do!" There were 4 girls a year apart and then my brother came 1-1/2 years later. I also have a sister who is 20 years younger than me, but she is not responsible for any kind of volume in the mix. She primarily grew up like an “only child”. My mom was undeniably the minority in the household. If you looked in “Moms Drawer”, I am certain you’d have found some ear plugs next to the “wooden spoon”. She would tell us to “keep it down” all the time. We would for a brief time and then go right back to what we were doing. I am the oldest, so I was told to behave because everyone would copy me. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must have been like for my mother. I would try to be quiet, but I could never win. She would always say to me “its not that your voice is too loud, it’s just that it carries” I could never figure out how to stop it from carrying.
God Love my Mom. I don’t know how in the world she survived, let alone raise some pretty decent children. Holy Cow! I can’t even keep track of a few older nieces and nephews while shopping at Target….and to keep them quiet…..ah, no way….they are running and screaming through the aisles. I just try not to lose one of them. I don’t really remember but knowing my mother, I am sure she tried anything and everything to keep us under some kind of reasonable control. One of the things I remember hearing was that “children should be seen and not heard” My grandma probably said it to my mother, who then said it to us. Who knows how many generations it has been passed down?
I know it was not meant to, or I believe it wasn't meant to be taken quite as literally as I have portrayed here. However, I wonder if it sinks in, sneaks in and hides unnoticed. Does it then contribute to the “noise in the head”, the chatter, the “old tapes”…….perfectionism. Interesting, who knows for sure. Today, I can observe my thoughts. I can decide if they are of any use to me anymore…….if they still fit me. Today, if someone did tell me, hey, you should be seen and not heard…I’d examine my surroundings, and see if that’s true for me. For example, am I in a movie theater? I Trust that I will do the right thing. I will Honor My Truth!
Del.icio.us
Digg
