"I Am Enough" Episode Two(video)

Welcome to Honor Your Truth

The “It’s All True!” Series

“I Am Enough”

I am here in Door County working. While this is not my passion, managing a café/motel, I do enjoy it and I am good at it. It’s truly all good. I am making money…..yet, not “a living” here. Making “a living” is when passion and job line up…when they are congruent. When a job is not a J.O.B……"just outta bare necessity", it is something you love that keeps the cash coming in. If it is something you love, from what I have witnessed, it is plenty of cash to sustain a life. Although I am inspired and taking action, my passion does not yet support me. In the past, I would completely stow away the “real me” for 6 months, but this season I am Honoring My Truth. I do feel uncomfortable.

Normally, I would be at work right now. In fact, I would always be at work. I am home now because the staff is doing just fine and they don’t need me. It’s very slow today. I could go back and do everyone else’s job. Even though I feel compelled to, I am resisting this temptation. I bet they think I’m slacking….a slacker. Not only do I have chatter in my head, I think I can hear the chatter in everyone else’s head. I’m a chatter reader. I feel weird, like I am doing something wrong. I should be at work......maybe I’ll call to make sure everything is going alright….to see if they need me. This is silly because I know that my phone would ring if they did and it’s not ringing. Yet, I am paralyzed by egoic thoughts of inadequacy. If I don’t work until I nearly fall over, then I am not working hard enough. Therefore, I am not enough overall.

I wanted to let go of all this chatter, so I took a walk. This usually releases the crapola in my head to the open air. It’s free roaming so be on the look-out. Stand still and let it pass on by. I feel better now……not so stuck. In the past, I felt like the easier thing would have been to do what I always do….just go into work. While this would have brought me relief in the short term, I found it to be way too painful in the long.......always waiting for my “real life” to start. I no longer put aside all that I love, my dreams, for later. I can create a balance while transitioning. It may have been easier to quit one or the other….quit my JOB or quit myself, but I chose not to….I’m juggling them both….teetering and tottering. It is a learning curve….a process. I didn’t utilize my free time today as well as I would have liked to today….but I didn’t go back to work. I got a little bit done. I did somethings I love....I wrote, I played music. I did what I wanted to do for my dream. My passion deserves it and so do I. I am Honoring My Truth!

Debra Hadraba
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