Today I need some help from my sisters at BraveHeart...
I have ended a three year relationship just recently and the pain is becoming overwhelming today.
I know that the relationship had to end so I just made a plan and put it into action..But now I realized what I did was an old familiar trick of mine, in times like these I never feel. I think what I need to do and then deal with my feelings later.
For example, when my mother and father and uncle died. Mother died first, then my father 32 days later, then my uncle the day after my father. I had to plan all the services and pay for them. That has been 18 years ago and I have never grieved for them yet.
I know that this is not healthy but that is the truth.
I am feeling lonely, sad, short of breath, I want so much to hear his voice, and have that man that I loved with me again. But I know that it would cost me my life if I did stay in that relationship, so I did what I know I needed to do. I left, started a new life, a new everything... But the pain wont go away.
I find my self getting angry at myself. Because I know I did the right thing, I have even had lunch with a male friend, joined a few social clubs, etc. But I am in pain. And it is getting increasingly worse as each day goes by.
If anyone has any advise I would appreciate your help. Thank you !