The Art of Choosing Joy

You know those times when you've had a heated argument with your partner and long afterward, you are still feeling angry and resentful? You know that if you could only apologize or touch them tenderly, things could move on, but you just can't let go of your anger!

Rationally, you know you have a choice about how you react to what your partner does...

...but why is it that you cannot control your emotions? Like clockwork, the very next time your partner repeats the offending behavior, you are in an argument in a matter of seconds.

Once the fight ensues, you don't feel capable of choosing to stop and end the argument with an apology or an act of tenderness. It's as if your emotions have high-jacked your will to choose. So you spend hours feeling furious instead of building a connection with the one you love.

How often does this occur in your relationships? Too many times to count?

Well, it's time to start reconnecting. Here's how:

First, acknowledge that you are stuck in negative thinking patterns and are reacting negatively as a result. Decide how you would prefer to react instead of the anger and resentment.

Then, learn to sense the feelings of anger or resentment building in your body. When they occur, consciously make a decision to not be angry or resentful, but to be more positive instead.

Part of the stress in life is that feelings of anger and resentment get in the way of the desire to be present with the ones we love and to create joy and fullness in our relationships.


For more tips on strengthening your marriage, visit Simply Red Hot.