At four years old, she was told something that became her belief, her truth…
At any age, we all seek a fundamental truth, a truth we initially look for outside ourselves, a truth we derive from others to validate our lives; the truth of unconditional acceptance and validation of our being, of our worthiness. The truth is we “know” our truth, but often times get disconnected from our truth.
I had the most amazing soulful connection with an 80 year old woman this past week in the therapy clinic. This woman has been questioning the struggles she’s had over the past few decades of her life, although she was very successful in her business before retirement. In my brief observation and through conversation, I sensed she had been allowing herself to die slowly and painfully with the aging process; dying to self; denial of self; deprecation and destruction of self; denying herself the joy that stems from living her passion, a passion that moves her spirit and fills her soul.
She questioned, what was the point anymore, what was the purpose to her life? She questioned what it was to have faith or to “trust in the process.” She said that getting old was painful and nobody really cared.
For years, she has had difficulty sleeping and feels depressed when awake. One would think she was simply depressed, which is a common occurrence with aging. She recently had surgery and her body was healing, but in addition to the physical healing, she was dealing with many emotions that were surfacing; feelings of unrest and uncertainty.
I asked her what she enjoyed doing. She told me she spends time with her family. She has been married for over sixty years, and has children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. She told me she looks at old pictures of herself and sees a young girl who is no longer present. That profound comment immediately caught my heart’s attention. I looked directly into her eyes and said, “That girl is still very present, she still lives inside you, she has never left you, it is you who have left her, denied her.” She looked at me, there was a moment of silence. As I continued to talk with her, I found out her interests and talents, which are indeed, her passion…poetry and art, painting and drawing. “How beautiful,” I remarked. I shared that this natural ability to creatively express, was a gift, uniquely hers.
“What’s the point,” she said, “no one cares about this kind of stuff anymore. They are too busy with other things, with gadgets and interests elsewhere. I don’t want to bring people down with my views on life. My views are not like yours.”
I asked her how she felt when she used to write poetry and paint. She said she felt alive, she was inspired. The creativity came through her onto paper and onto canvas. I gently brought to her attention that while she was expecting others to find value with her inspired works of art, she was not appreciating and valuing these works for herself.
Although her outlook was pessimistic and doubtful, it was her reality being expressed, her feelings and perspective that had me intrigued and inspired. I was greatly inspired by our connection, the enriching content of our heart and soulful communication. She expressed feeling inspired by my outlook but said she could not connect with it. I challenged her on this, for I knew on a deeper level, she was truly moved and engaged but was resisting her own authentic truth... for the truth that she has known and lived with for eight decades, a truth told to her in her youth by her father, a person she dearly loved and respected, had prevailed throughout her life. I asked her to consider that the intention of our meeting was to bring attention to her symptoms of restlessness and depression as a message from her body, to open her to a new perspective that the possibility her truth did not match her father’s truth. She acknowledged me with a look, neither denying nor confirming the possibility. To be continued…
What do you FEEL will follow from this interaction?
What are you seeking in life? What’s the bottom line to your life and to living? Is having life and living the same?
HONOR yourself. CHALLENGE yourself to change…OPEN to a new perspective.
Do you acknowledge yourself, your deeper authentic self that you “know” intimately OR are you afraid to open up and reveal for fear of misunderstandings, judgment, criticism, or ridicule? Are you wrestling or resisting your truth, your authentic truth? Are you questioning something someone told you, a belief that you made your own? Are you revisited by your conscience, your intuitive guide?
At any age, our authentic truth remains the same. There is value and meaning to our lives, our life matters, we embody a Divine Spirit, that which is love of the purest kind. This loving Spirit nurtures us, keeps us “Whole.” We are worthy of giving and receiving love, we are magnificent in design; we are remarkable, there is value and meaning to our lives. This is Our AUTHENIC Truth!
Commitment to your honoring your authentic truth takes courage, patience, loving intention, appreciation, and trust in the process. Be gentle with yourself.
With Gratitude for Heart and Soulful Connections!
Deborah
Author: Straight to the Heart of What Matters
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