Parenting About Children Who Are Different (NOT Damaged!): General: BraveHeart Women

Parenting About Children Who Are Different (NOT Damaged!) Posted May 12, 2009 12:26 AM
I posted a comment on Authentic Family Living the other day around the topic of Autism which seems to have stirred a landslide of emotion and debate. I am so pleased with the discussion thread, that I thought I would share a few nuggets. The doctor posted about the autistic brain being damaged and not able to be repaired..... tell that to parents who have seen their child emerge to look them in the eye and tell the parents how much they love them. One of the parents posted this great video discussing the terms we use to describe our children and how it affects them.... deeply. An interview I did with Danielle Herb (15 yr old entrepreneur) highlights how hurtful the labels and judgments were for her at a young age: Another, interesting video by Abraham-Hicks was then added talking about communication and how these children may actually be here to REALLY teach us how to communicate. You can visit www.AuthenticFamilyLiving.ning.com to view the whole dialogue. What do you think? What experiences do you have with special needs children? I would love to hear what you have to say! Here's to being a Passion Parent! Christine Hiebel Passion Parent Community
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2 Comments

Penny,
Thank you for your heartfelt reply!

You brought out such an important point:
"I'd also like to add that the responsibility doesn't just lie on others. Your reactions to others also play a part in how others learn and grow. If I felt good about myself when I was younger and a person commented about me, I would have stood up for myself and showed people that I had nothing to be embarrassed about. People are as comfortable with you as you are with yourself."

So true, it really fits with the concept of the Law of Attraction... the more we think and feel, the more we bring that to ourselves.

I would like to take your thought one level deeper and say parents really need to take this to heart. It would serve them well to get VERY real with how they feel about their child. If there are any feelings of shame, guilt, embarrassment, or anger, this will affect how the child feels about him/herself.

I love that your journey has been a wonderful jumping off point for your son. I love that you are able to talk about these topics and he has so much compassion.

I love your attitude that your greatest pain is such a bright light not only in your life, but in the lives of the people around you that you touch. You are an angel!

Christine

Dear passionpar,
Thanks for posting! I love the videos. You know I have to say that I believe most people who label others just don't realize the severity of because it is not happening to them. You must be empathetic to others in order to see things differently. Because of my own experiences with being labeled, I grew into such a compassionate and caring person, wanting to treat others the exact opposite of how I was treated. I don't think this will be the case for everyone though. Many people struggle their entire lives with self-esteem, confidence, and believing in themselves. I didn't look down on myself until others started pointing out my shortcomings. At the time, the names did hurt and they affected how I perceived myself, along with my sister. It took me a LONG time to love myself and be comfortable in my own skin. I'd also like to add that the responsibility doesn't just lie on others. Your reactions to others also play a part in how others learn and grow. If I felt good about myself when I was younger and a person commented about me, I would have stood up for myself and showed people that I had nothing to be embarrassed about. People are as comfortable with you as you are with yourself.

I attended a preschool for special needs children and still remember how much more severe these children's challenges were. Typical cases of cerebral palsy include developmental issues, along with physical. You could say that my sister and I are a rare case. I've worked with developmentally disabled and autistic adults. I will tell you that they can learn and want to. As long as you believe in your child and do everything you can to help them believe in themselves, they will live a full, happy life.
Now the reality is there are some special needs children who will always need assistance, but they still deserve just as much attention, love, and care as any other child and they can hear what other people say(even if it doesn't appear that way).

As parents, I think it is important to talk to our children and educate them about special needs children and adults. The more they understand the better they will be able to handle unfamiliar situations. I talk to my son often about how we are all unique in our own way. Some peoples' unique qualities are just more visible than others. He is 13 now and actually talks to me about some of the kids in school that are made fun of and how he befriends them. You can learn something from every child and person you meet. People and children with special needs do not need pity. They only need love, support, and respect. We are all one. :-x

"Define yourself through your own eyes and through your eyes other will see"~Penny

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Parenting About Children Who Are Different (NOT Damaged!)

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