During my Fertility Phase I had this insane idea. I picked it up from the BHW core affirmations that suggested my future could outshine my history.
I began to wonder if I could create my future without running up against my past?
For so many years, I was focused on my past. I was on a healing journey and I wanted to understand and make sense of it all. And so I carried my past around everywhere!
The problem was, that each time I asked "what is my purpose?" I ran up against the same problem. I was looking to my past as THE GUIDE for what I could create in the future.
So I got this crazy idea that my past did not have to dictate what my Calling could be? Isn't that crazy? I wanted to conceive something that was the embodiment of WHO I AM AS A WOMAN.
My gifts, talents and Essence.
So I SURRENDERED to the idea that my Calling was something bigger than the sum total of my history.
Not BIG in size,
But B I G as in expansive....
Could my inspiration could come from something more expansive than my analytical mind trying to hash out my future as though I'm trying to figure out what a university major should be? (disclose: I did not go to university!)
When women ask me about Vision, it is sometimes difficult to describe.
A Vision is something you feel for yourself that extends beyond who you know yourself to be.
A Vision stretches you without making you feel small.
A Vision makes you gasp and feel a little giddy.
A Vision has no competition.
A Vision is the vehicle for your Essence to be shared. A Vision requires you to SURRENDER.
These days, I feel my Calling embodies my past, the healing of my pain, all my lessons past & present, my greatest experiences, my knowledge, wisdom and who I am as a woman. Yesterday, today and tomorrow.
There is FREEDOM here....to express and create without defining too tightly.
Ellie Drake said something that really struck me:
"You don't need to SEE to be a Visionary, you just need to TRUST the process, one step at a time."
During my Fertility Phase, I felt emotionally distraught on many occasions because I could not SEE.
I was just beginning to embrace TRUST.
If you do not know your Vision and you are in that "rough stage" where there is almost no clarity,
It's OK to LET IT ALL GO.
Let your PAST take a nap for a while! There is a DESTINY.
You CAN ASK FOR IT at anytime.
Ask for a Vision, even when you cannot SEE right now, that embodies who you are and who you aim to be. What do you want to create and express that will leave you fulfilled?
Your Vision will arrive. I promise.
Just stay the course and know that this is part of the journey as a Pregnant Visionary. I invite you to join me in my community
Pregnant Visionaries, where we journey from waiting to birthing our CALLING!
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