Everything Lives and Dies in Language

Good day Divas - I trust you are enjoying a fabulous Holiday Weekend

I woke up this morning with the words attachment, and commitment dancing in my head. What do these words really mean to most people? How does one interpret them in the context of today’s more “Conscious relationships”? Do these words still hold a place in today’s relationships?

My thoughts unraveled like this… over the years, these words have accumulated many energies – positive and negative. Their individual interpretations have caused many a heart ache and a heart break.

Some would of forcefully pushed the word “Commitment” away because the word oozed of obligation, and the feeling of being too tightly bound emotionally. Others welcomed “Commitment” because it reflected a pledge of devotion to a loved one – a pledge they were willing to both give and receive.

As for the word attachment, the feeling of being a supplementary part was definitely not a turn on. Being attached to someone’s hip or having someone attached to theirs was too restrictive and not allowing for enough coming and going in both their work and personal life. For other adults, the thought of being attached to someone, and having someone tied to them felt reassuring, fulfilling and a requirement in order to function well every day.

So now, what could be a word that would embrace the space between being in the moment and most intimate (hours later not being in the moment and therefore interpreted by some as: now anything goes – therefore scary space for many), and the positiveness of commitment; without the feelings of ball and chain – rather commitment with Desire, Joy, Peace and Love?

I believe there has to be a word that describes the willingness, while in any stage of a relationship (whether the stage of exploring, developing, maintaining, evolving, even resolving/unfolding of a relationship) to hold the other person (their Soul so to speak) in your hands, mind, and heart in a sacred way; so that the individual you are relating with can trust You, can open their heart and be truly authentic; can express themselves honestly and respectfully without fear; and therefore able to go about their day and follow their purpose, secure in the knowing that in any moment of either sadness, fear, crisis, or better yet Joy and Love they can turn to You, and you’ll be there fully present, ready to listen without judgment, ready to respond in a way that is respectful of both.

For me, this word would also describe the ribbon of mutual caring, nurturing, and loving, which connects and intertwines the Essence of each, while in relationship; whether two people live in the same home or whether separated by miles, even by continent. This word would also encompass the mutual respect, understanding and acceptance that exists if and when the moment comes that the relationship is no longer in the best interest of both, and that it needs to unfold.

When it comes to unfolding relationships, I use the analogy of sewing. If you have ever sewn, you have certainly stitched seams that needed to be undone. There are two ways of doing so: either you yank the thread out and risk marring the fabric in the process, or you choose to carefully take the thread out, lay the fabric anew, sew a new seam, all the while leaving the fabric intact. My former husband and I chose the latter as a way to unfold the marriage. We chose to stay in an energy of respect, and to see to each others and to our grown childrens well-being. Imagine… no lawyers and no negotiations. Imagine …no big bills… simply a willingness and intention to see that we and our grown children were well in the process. Yes, there were moments of annoyance, resentment, and confusion, yet we avoided possible storms due to our willingness to continue to each take responsibility for our life experience, due to our determination to continue on the path of self growth, due to turning within and tapping into our Essence.

I love the thought that unfolding of relationships can leave both individuals walking their path intact and with grace, without having barb wire of emotional debris hanging from every body part.

Perhaps the word, I am searching for is too rose colored for some, but my experiences lived and witnessed tell me that it is possible to find such a word and to live the possibilities of this word.

What would that word be for You? Or would you invent a new word for these newer blue print of possibilities?

After all everything does live and die in language … our thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and ultimately our actions come from our words.

Bless - ins to You,

Lynette
RItual Divas Community