Anger...Frustration

"No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched." George Jean Nathan
Anger...frustration.....too many things going wrong. I want to scream....run away.....hide.
Anger...frustration courses through my system like a wild stallion....out of control.....stampeding over my life....
Anger...frustration...small things becoming big....huge....overwhelming.
Anger....frustration....it tears at me inside....chipping and pulling and tearing until I feel like I'm cracking.....falling...falling away from me. I try reaching back for sanity....I can't...can't find it....I need to get out... run...go...find release....feel peace again.. I need the calm...the balance...the sanity....

You're so calm...people tell me....But I'm not....I'm angry...frustrated...I don't know how to deal with this...don't know what to do with the out of control feelings that threaten to take me down.....to that place of darkness....of hopelessness...of not caring...

Anger...frustration....has a life of it's own...taking over like a demon possessing my life....and even my body. The tension builds....needing to be released. I'm out the door .....to the woods...don't care that it's cold and muddy and windy....don't care if it rains or snows or hails....Running to release it....trying to outrun it....feeling the pain in my legs from pounding the earth...can't stop....my breathing hard encourages me on....I won't let the anger, frustration rule...I won't let it force me down....running.....feeling the freedom....being outdoors....alone....the pain in my body releasing the angst in my soul.

Anger....frustration....demons to content with...demons that have always tried to destroy with their intense power....their unyielding force....laughing in my face....as if they've won the battle...the fight...I won't let them anymore.....running to be free....running to let go....running to find my way back to myself....to that peace and calm and reason......Run....Breathe...Let go.....