Direction

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..." Dr. Seuss

Decisions! I'm not the best at making them. Sometimes I think I like something...but I'm never really sure. I drive myself and my family crazy talking myself in and out of something. It's agonizing for them...and for me...but so many decisions...even simple ones... feel like a matter of life and death. I'm never really sure if I need it...want it...or even like it.

But there is something I know for sure....something I figured out these last few months...since I finally told what happened....and published my story...and won an award....and recieved so much support -

I want to use what happened to make a difference for someone else.....to give hope and show that nothing is impossible to overcome: not drugs, or the streets, or an eating disorder...or anything. Sometimes it seems like things will never change and sometimes things may not always work out in the ways I want...but the Light does come on...and things do change....and freedom is possible.

People tell me I'm a good writer. I didn't know that. All I know is I couldn't talk...and writing has helped me have my voice. Through writing...maybe I can say other things...things which I've never been able to openly talk about. It goes beyond my personal story to systems and how they run.....

Inside me.....there's a quiet whisper that pulls and tugs....pushing me to not be afraid to say those things I've never been able to voice....and maybe...just maybe I can make a difference for someone else.