myths

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie -- deliberate, contrived and dishonest -- but the myth -- persistent, persuasive and unrealistic" John F. Kennedy

I carted the 10 pound bag of potatoes home...proud I had gotten them on sale for just $2.50. Just two potatoes would have cost close to a buck. But by the end of two weeks we had used only four of the potatoes and had to throw the rest of the bag out.

I was buying things in bulk because someone told me it's a great way to save money. My therapist asked why I was buying so much when we only used a fraction of what I bought. Her words stunned me. I never thought about it. All I thought about was the saving factor.

She showed me the value in buying only 4 potatoes even if they cost $2.00. It was better than paying $2.50 for a huge bag of an item that ended up in the garbage.

Myths....I didn't know I was defeating the purpose I was trying to achieve. And there's been other things....like going away.... holidays. People said I needed to go away for a full week...even two, but I get nervous being away from home too long. I would end up going away for a week or ten days but spend most of the time worrying and wanting to go home after four. My therapist said.....just go for four days. I was shocked at her words and wondered, can I do that? Nobody does that.

I wanted so much to fit in, to be like everybody else so I tried to do what I thought was right. Growing up....it wasn't ok to have my own needs or think my own thoughts or feel my own feelings. I couldn't cope....so I disappeared. I went away in my head and used dope and threw up and cut myself to be invisible. Learning that it was ok to have my own needs and thoughts and feelings has been really difficult. It's taken me a long time but I've learned.... something may be right for one person...and not necessarily right for someone else. And also, everyone needs to honor their own truth. There is no right or wrong.