Being Seen...Being Heard: General: BraveHeart Women

Being Seen...Being Heard Posted Jun 19, 2010 09:26 PM
Intimacy is being seen and known as the person you truly are. Amy Bloom I've spent a lot time hiding....trying hard to be invisible...not wanting to be seen. To be seen...meant to be hurt. Shame - consumed me.....kept me from living free. Shame - made me believe I was wrong... Shame - made me feel lower than a snake Shame - unable to look people in their eyes...or worse have them look in mine. Shame - kept me from being present....kept me from being seen. I could never talk.....never tell the truth of what happened. But things are changing. Through writing....and blogging....I've found my voice. I'm being heard and in some way...seen. There's so much I want to say. Sometimes I wonder....if my words can make a difference....even for one...who also can't speak....who'se still living in the dark....reaching for freedom.. I just found out my book won a TWG award and had an honorable mention for their highest award. It feels like validation. Someone knows...and my voice is being heard. Yet still.....There are times....I need to hide.....in the dark...in the woods....alone....unable to be seen....wondering if what I say makes any sense.... Being seen....Being heard.... I want to be heard. I'm afraid but something inside drives me...pushes me forward...to say yes to those people and organizations who ask if I would speak in the Fall...and share my story. Talking...speaking...being seen. I have the summer to kick the fear of standing up...of being seen...and being heard.
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2 Comments

Dear Sarah,

Thank you for sharing and congratulations on your award ... ...

Validation it is ... but of significant validation is the life YOU have crafted for your daughters and yourself ... THAT is validation and overcoming ...

YOU have overcome a LOT ... and when you feel the need to be alone for whatever reason ... allow yourself to BE ... It is in those quiet moments alone that we subconsciously visit what moves us at the deepest level of our being ...

Even when you were afraid and hurting ... YOU were always there at that level ... YOU are struggling to bring that level fully forward ... to allow it to manifest ... all the while recognizing that the "old" you requires the voice she has earned ...

Your need to share all your secrets in order to help others is a mutually beneficial process and no one can fully comprehend what exactly it is that you need ... but deep down YOU know ... So, allow yourself to find out ... Give yourself the time and space to know for sure what it is that will finally allow you to overcome and to come out of "hiding" ... to speak from YOUR TRUE SELF - whole and unafraid ... knowing that your past does NOT define you, but only helped to shape the person you are today ... sometimes wanting to run away from the very situations that will help to make YOU whole ...

I trust that you know deep down that the real YOU wants out ... to BE who it is YOU are ... I acknowledge the "struggle" ... It IS the classic "approach-avoidance" struggle which shapes so many of our most important and pivotal decisions ...

With my love, respect ... and many blessings as you continue navigating your way to giving voice to the REAL YOU ... ...

Aloha pume hana,

Barb

Amy, you are a gracious lady! I have had those feelings about myself! I am a circular thiker, and what drives me, doesn't seem to motivate others. As a matter of fact, it's difficult to be intimate when "we seem to be on different pages." Being honest, seems to be a difficulty, these days. But a force pushes me forward as well. And with the "right" people, my articulation is find. "Good Luck", in the Fall, and Congrats on your book!
You inspired Me!!!!!

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