I am getting a divorce. It’s true.
However, I’m not divorcing my husband. I adore that man, and we will definitely spend all of eternity together loving each other.
This divorce is so much bigger than that. I am divorcing my life.
I have felt an unsettling deep inside of me for quite awhile now. I have felt that the life that I live and the life that I want to live are not one in the same. And so, I’ve been taking little steps for the past year to bring my actual life and my dream life closer together. And I’ve been making progress – slowly but surely. I started Soul Speak, I am almost finished with my book, I have taken steps to let go of my gift company…and yet, I’m still feeling disconnected from my life.
The other day, I imagined that I floated above my life and looked at it from a perspective that wasn’t so attached – so “in it.” (I definitely recommend this technique for any of you who are also looking for some clarity in your own lives.) It was immensely helpful – and while it made me sad to see how far I still was from living a life that truly filled me up and brought me complete joy, I received beautiful guidance that helped me see exactly what I needed to do to make it so.
I realized in that moment how hard it can be to break old habits. This comfort zone of mine is clinging so tightly that it’s sometimes hard to breathe. For the last year, I have been making great strides in reaching for my dreams. My life right now is completely different than it was a year ago, or even several months ago. I am pushing myself and stretching and growing and learning and loving each moment that I am doing these things. However, I was watching Oprah interview Tony Robbins last night, and he said something that really struck a nerve with me: We have to burn the boats once we get to the island. Burn the boats! When we commit to something, we have to fully commit. Not have one foot out the door – ready to run if things don’t work out. We have to cut all strings that lead to our safety net. We must, or we will never be able to give our dream a real shot.
And in that moment I realized that I hadn’t burned the boats. I am on the island, but I have my boat’s motor on, ready to take me off of it at the first sight of danger. Until now, I wasn’t willing to fully commit. I wasn’t ready to jump in with both feet. And so it’s time to burn the boats, take that leap, and divorce my life.
What does this mean, anyway? It means that I am leaving my life as I know it behind. I am starting fresh and consciously creating the life that I know I was meant to live. I have the choice and the power to be happy and fulfilled, and I have been letting fear and “the known” trump that. Well no more!
If you also feel that your life isn’t a representation of who you feel you truly are, please join me on this journey! (A disclaimer: I know that a life divorce isn’t for everyone. I know that this is pretty drastic. I know that this might seem a little “out there.” However, I also know that for so many of us (myself included), living the way we are is no longer an option. We are dying little grey deaths every day that we don’t put our dreams first. I have been experiencing these little deaths for years now, and I am at the point where I want to be happy. I am at the point where something this drastic has to happen. And I am ready to make these drastic changes. If you are, too, please read on to see what I have in mind.)
How to divorce your life:
- Create a vision for what your ideal life looks like. How will you spend your days? How will you make a living? Who will you spend time with? What do your surroundings look like? Really take some time with this exercise. Sit with it. Sleep on it. Let it simmer inside you. And if you aren’t sure what you want, that’s okay, too. You probably know what you don’t want, so start with the opposite of that.
- Go through your life moment by moment, person by person, item by item. Ask yourself (honestly and mindfully) if each one feeds your soul or depletes your soul. This is your barometer from now on. If you find that your job depletes your soul, go back to your vision and find out what would feed it. And then jump both feet into that dream and don’t look back. If you surround yourself with friends who aren’t feeding your soul, create a vision for the types of friends you would like to be supported by. And take action. If your furniture or household items or clothes no longer feed you, it’s time to get rid of them and replace them with things that do make you feel good.
- Take drastic action to make this vision become reality. No excuses. Both feet in. No safety net. Just jump. The universe will always catch you when you are living your truth and your purpose. I know that for sure.
Want an example of how this will work? Here’s the abbreviated version of what I have come up with (so far):
In my ideal life, I am happily married and a sweet mama to fuzzy kids. I am supported by friends who feed my soul. Okay, thankfully those are already in my life, so I will move onto the next parts of my life.
Vision: I am a soulful writer/inspirer who makes a living this way.
Current Reality: Well, this vision is becoming more and more real – but I’m still living partly off of the money from my gift business. So I’m going to sell the business and cut those strings completely.
Vision: I live a calm, balanced, grounded life.
Current Reality: This is definitely just in the vision category now, but I will spend some more time getting clear about how I can incorporate this calmness into my life.
Vision: I take care of myself – my body, my heart, my mind. I exercise, I take one day off per week, I rest when needed throughout the day. I stop pushing myself so hard.
Current Reality: Not at all. I now know that I definitely need to focus on myself – filling up my own cup. I’ll spend some time getting clear about how this will show up in my life.
Vision: I live in a beautiful space that fills me up each time I enter it.
Current Reality: Not so much, which is why I am getting rid of almost everything that I own and starting over. If it doesn’t make me feel wonderful, it’s gone. I’m no longer okay with being weighed down by stuff that I’ve kept for every reason under the sun except for the right one: because I love it.
Starting a new life isn’t something that I take lightly. This is a BIG deal. And it’s also not something that we think about for a few minutes, journal about, and then go about our day. It’s so much bigger than that. It’s a complete change to how we live our lives. It’s a complete overhaul – taking out everything that isn’t working and replacing it with what will. It’s a way of living – consciously creating our existence.
We ALL deserve happiness. We ALL deserve to live a life filled with meaning, love, hope, and joy. We ALL deserve to make our dreams reality. We really do.
If your life is far from this ideal, please join me in divorcing it and consciously creating a fresh start. You are worth it – you really are. Let’s support each other along the way – this takes guts and strength. So, the more love energy we can give each other, the better!
P.S. – If this posts speaks to you, please share it on Facebook and Twitter (buttons below). Thank you!