We are celebrating our 25th wedding Anniversary today and I feel I have a couple of nuggets to share.
1. The Pre‐Nuptial: Put God first in the marriage and understand His principles for marriage, as it
pertains to God being the head of the man, the man being the head of the household and the wife
submitting to the husband. Anyone couple who has weathered a marriage for twenty‐five years in
today’s society must have done some things right along the way. They did some things wrong too. But I
believe the good must have out‐weighted the bad for any marriage to last twenty‐five years. As we all
know, for many, the vows are just mere words that do not mean anything anymore. In our marriage,
the glory goes to God for being in the in the center of it. When situations arise that were too much for
us to handle, we always go to God.
2. Oneness: Be consciously aware that the marriage is two and if there is a third person, there is
going to be a problem. The only third chord in a marriage should be God. Other than that, you are
going to face problems. You must resist all other persons who try to interfere in your marriage. Life is
between the two of you. Discuss your expectations on certain issues. Know your partner’s likes and
dislikes. . A marriage is a mutual affair. Share each other’s burdens.
3. Communication: Be open and candid‐no secrets, being best friends. Tell your spouse the truth.
You are adults and therefore should respect each other to the point where you do not hide things.
Being secretive or hiding certain things cause a break down in trust and in the relationship. Take a cooling period and then how you can work things out before taking drastic actions. The grass is not always greener on the other side. When children are involved, set rules together and stick to them. Share the responsibilities.
4. Forgiveness: Forgiveness is always necessary, because you did not marry a perfect human being
and you are bound to have disagreements at times. There are two sides to every story and most of the
times the problem is not with one person, but with both. One might start it, but it ends up affecting
both to a certain degree. Remember you cannot always be right. Sometimes you have to give up your
point of view to harness peace. Learn to give and take. Always apply the Golden Rule.
5. Keeping the love fire going and the memory working. Don’t ever forget each other’s birthdays,
or your anniversaries. Plan to spend time alone with each other. Do something special, such as going to
a quite resort, going to a fancy restaurant or cooking a favorite dish, taking out the special china, lighting
the candles and opening a bottle of wine. Celebrate each other successes, and empathize in failures and disappointments. Know that two is better than one. Do not ever be jealous of your spouse’s success. Being jealous of your spouse is absurd. I do not care if the woman makes more money than you. Either way, it is a blessing because you both benefit
6. Trustworthiness: Honesty is superior. Be honest in everything you do. When there is honesty,
trust falls perfectly into place. When there is trust, there is peace and harmony. You can make verbal
agreements, but you must keep them. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Do not go into marriage
with lies. Be matured enough to put everything on the table. You may ask for a few counseling sessionswith your pastor before you tie the knots.
7. Prayer: When you have done all that you can do and there is nothing left for you to do,
assuming, you have been praying all along, pray again and just simply leave the issue with God. Trust
me, He’s got it. He always has and always will, if you allow Him to, and wait for Him to work things out.
He promises to come through for you.
Pauline Lewinson
www.mynsp.com/rnplivinghealthy
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