Create Your "Just Us" Team...

It is important to remember that it is just us. Often we feel
like it is us and them and we begin to feel like it is a constant
battle between us and the ones we are caring for. These feelings
must be neutralized so that we are working as a "just us" team.

I recall how easily that my cerebral palsy daughter fell into this
mindset of us and them. She became obsessed with the theory that
it was an "us and them" team. She was sure that everyone who was
part of her care giving team was ganging up against her. She put
up walls and her care giving team was met with resistance every step
of the way.

No matter how hard we tried, we were unable to get her to see that
we were on her team. These feelings of us and them soon filtered
into the minds of the caregivers and I realized that the" just us"
team was broken.

I know that there were times that I met with others from her care
giving team and it was felt that it was no longer an us team effort.
It was like we were forming an "us team" against her as she could
not accept that we were all working for common goals. My husband
also felt that it was an "us and them" team after he had his heart
attack.

The caregivers were all trying to direct the decisions and the outcomes
as if he was no longer able to make any of his own decisions. He felt
that he had no control over his life and that everyone was working
against him. We had become an "us and them" team.

Warrior Caregivers are able to keep the "just us" team by:

* Working as a team towards common goals
* Talking to the ones receiving care so that they feel like a part
of the team
* Always including the ones receiving care so that their feelings
count in the decisions
* Making the ones receiving care responsible for the outcome of their
decisions
* Understanding that we are only the caregivers not the decision makers
* Accepting that those receiving care remain in control of the outcome
of their decisions

When we work as a team towards common goals, Warrior Caregivers are able
to keep the team as just us. These common goals bind the caregivers to the
ones receiving care so that together they work as one. There is no longer
any need for there to be an "us and them" team.

Warrior Caregivers know that it is important to include and to talk to the
ones receiving care so that they feel like they are part of the team.
By including the ones receiving care, they feel like their feelings
count in the decisions and a strong us team is formed. This overrides
the "us and them" teams that can form if the caregivers make all the
decisions without any input from the one receiving the care.

Warrior Caregivers recognize that when the ones receiving care are
responsible for the outcome of the decisions, they feel like they have
control of their lives. Warrior Caregivers accept that they are not the
decision makers and that the outcome of the decisions rests with the one
receiving care.

By including those receiving care in the decision making process, a strong
us team is formed as the caregiver is now viewed as the solution to the
problem rather than the problem.

When we started holding group planning meetings where my daughter could
share her feelings and her thoughts on the decisions with the ones who were
giving her care, we found that we were able to form a strong us team going
forward. It became very evident that we needed to include the one receiving
care when ever possible so that they remained in control of their lives.
This assisted in forming the strong us team and we no longer needed the us and
them team to successfully work together. We had replaced the them team with
a strong us team.

Warrior Caregivers recognize the importance of just us teams. Congratulations
on learning how to have a "just us" team.

I invite you to come join us in the Warrior Caregiver Community
where we provide a safe platform for support & collaboration. Click Here