My husband’s going to have to stop watching the
Dog Whisperer. It’s really starting to annoy Rex. And me.
At first it was kind of cute – he’d have a new tip of the day to relate, a new report of how Cesar turned around a sociopath and a pitt-bull in one 30 minute episode --how he never raises his voice; just makes this “tsssstsh” sound and dogs fall over in obedience.
But now he wants me to sit down and watch some of the shows he’s taped for “my benefit.”
“To help Rex.”
“Careful,” I say.
Rex is more than a year old now and I’m just a little older and all I can say on behalf of the two of us is, well, he should’ve brought this up sooner.
What my spouse would like is for both Rex and I to just calm down, and for me to go first. According to Cesar, excitement is contagious. When I get excited, the dog gets excited.
“Really? That’s WHAT I DO!” I said, loud enough that both Rex and my spouse were now excited.
”The dog senses what you’re feeling.”
Hmmmpf, I think. If he did he’d bite you or at least eat the remote.
“I’m just saying…”
Calmly, quietly, I walk away. Under my breath I mutter, “Ellen Outwhisper
, like that’s going to happen.”
Calmly I go to my computer and google, “Spouse Whisperers…”
“Tsssssstsh!" and Solder on!