EricaVargas's Blog

Earth Goddess trusting trees

I am beautiful earth goddess who builds communities by honoring myself and others

One of the most exciting adventures of doing a vision quest is choosing the spot where you will be fasting for 3 days on the mountain. For months before you actually climb up that mountain you are told by your guides and other fasters that you will know your fasting spot when you see it, or feel it, or hear it or whichever sense chooses to connect you with nature. Of course, as a faster you are scared that you will choose the wrong spot or not be called to by nature at all. You are afraid you will be walking around on the mountain not connecting to anything around you and feeling completely lost.

On our second day on the mountain our guides sent us out onto the mountain to find our spot. We call this the spot where you will die and be reborn.

I walked past a patch of snow and I prayed that I will find a spot that called to me, that I would trust myself and my intuition and that nature would choose me to share in her beauty for a couple of days.

The first spot I kind of sort of thought would be my spot had a beautiful pregnant tree bending over a flat headed boulder. That tree was calling my name. She was saying come die here and let me birth you out of my pregnant belly. I told her I might be back but this spot looks very yummy. As I continued to walk I thought was that my spot? Should I just go back when I heard a cicada calling me east. Its like she was saying come here!!! Check out this area over here, give it a try!!!

I should tell you when I created my vision of my spot I had very specific demands. I wanted to be on the west side of the mountain, so, I could watch the sunset everyday, I wanted boulders to lay on and sunbathe and trees for shade.

As I headed east bound, I saw what looked like a grassy knoll surrounded by huge trees. I walked toward it all the time hearing the cicada say come closer.

There it was on the top of the mountain, with a view of all four directions was my spot. Oh she called to me, she awakened all my senses and she was a mansion on the top of a hill.

She had a grassy knoll--perfect for a purpose circle
She had a huge tree bent over to create shade over my tent.
She had a beautiful rocky area on the east side that I could use for my death lodge and to the north she had these huge boulders one on top of the other perfect for climbing.

I knew I was home. I knew nature had spoken to me and she chose a mansion on top of a mountain for me because that is what I deserved and that is where I belonged.

My name is "Earth Goddess trusting trees"

I am a beautiful Earth Goddess who builds everlasting relationships by honoring myself and others.

I recently did the first Vision Quest of my life with a community called Condor Clan in Ventura California. I should let you know that this journey started a little over a year ago. I had just divorced my husband and I realized I had lost myself in that relationship. I was this playful, young, beautiful women who had a zest for life when I met my husband. In the 5 years we were together that women was lost. She was caught up in adrenaline by putting my husband through college and dealing with his bi-polar state. I continued to work my way up the corporate ladder so that I could support him and have good insurance coverage. Once the marriage was over, I knew I had to find a way to get in touch with that woman I knew lived under the layers of disappointment, insecurity and masculine energy. My best friend is part of the Condor Clan and had me join her at a Honorary Ceremony and I realized I wanted a celebration of my transformation as well. I immediately signed up for a vision quest.

A vision quest is a Native American ceremony to create a rite of passage. A few visions I had in mind were peace within, joy, trust and love. This journey consist of six months of hardcore self evaluation with a group of women who mirror back to you what you said meant to them. At the end of the six months you take a 55 pound back pack up about a half mile up a mountain, find a spot away from the other women and fast for 3 days alone...on a mountain...

The first meeting I decided that my vision was to "become the happy person I show the world is actually that happy within and not just externally". During the next six months my vision changed many times. It changed from peace within to trusting myself. Journal questions consisted of; what are your wounds? what masculine qualities do you own? who are your ancestors? how do you wish you were more like your mother and what are her weaknesses? Some of the activities we had to do to prepare were days of fasting, days of silence, day walks (spending the whole day in nature from sun up to sun down).

Every journal entry, every activity, every time I spent in nature taught me more about myself, about my connection to nature and my spirituality...