Influence By Design

Go from listening to deciding based on your intuition.

I’ve spent time here writing at length about listening to your intuition and the positive changes you can make to your career and those around you. I think by now it’s pretty obvious that I find that to be one of the critical skills in business, yet it’s still so underused and I find people still don’t trust their gut when it comes to making good business decisions. I understand that there’s a lot riding on some of the decisions you make and sometimes saying you “just went with your gut” isn’t enough to satisfy a Board of Directors, but at some point, you really have to pull the trigger and say, “Yes, I feel that this is right.” 

So how can you make the transition from logical, facts and figures decision maker to someone how pairs knowledge with their intuition? I think there are a few key steps. 

Lighten up. People look at decision making as such a heavy responsibility. When you make it such a grave thing, you tend to over think every decision you make. Lighten up a little bit. Stop thinking so much about every little detail and just react.  

Tune in. For goodness sake, LISTEN to your intuition. I’ve stressed it so many times here. If you’re not listening, how will you even begin to know what your gut is telling you? Just relax and listen to what your heart has to say.

Pair up. Once you know what your gut is telling you, match it up with some substantial logic or facts so that you have something to present in order to back up the way that you feel about a decision. 

Speak out. Don’t be afraid of expressing your intuition. You’ve got it, flaunt it. If you don’t say something when it comes time to make a decision, your intuitive choice will never get heard, even if it’s the best way to move forward.

Learn to lead effectively.

As you advance in your career, you, of course, get all of the perks that come with it. A nice pay raise, a company car, a nice office and other perks. But with those promotions, you also need to start upping your game. You need to start really honing your effective leadership skills and learn how to lead your department efficiently and effectively. Everyone has different types of leadership styles, and some work better for others, so what are some styles and what might work best for you? 

Commanding: There’s no doubt that you’re the boss! You don’t mince words and you tell people what you need them to get done on the double! This is a good way to lead a well-oiled machine, but if you’re not careful, your employees can come to resent you strongly. Tell people what you need done, but don’t forget to say please and thank you. 

Delegating: You’re a little less domineering than a “commander” type, but you still let everyone know what their responsibilities are. A delegator shows their leadership by giving out projects accordingly, but they also follow up. In order to be a good delegator, you have to have a staff you can trust to work the way you want them too. 

Democratic: You want your staff to feel like they have a say in how the department is run. Sure, it’s ultimately your decision, but when you let your employees choose their projects and help make decisions, they’re more motivated to get the work done. Just make sure you’re not too much of a pushover when handling things democratically.  

Hands-on: You’re in the trenches, so to speak. While you may delegate tasks, you’re still there, plugging away at various projects that you’ve given to your employees. While this certainly ensures that the quality will be up to par, you run the risk of taking on too much work and letting things slip through the cracks. 

While I’m sure there are many other styles, I find these to be the most common. How would you describe your leadership style?

Our life is made up of experiences, make yours work for you.

You didn’t just land on the earth yesterday. You weren’t dropped into your office chair, wearing that nice suit. You got to where you are today by doing a little something people call “living.” If we didn’t have all of the experiences that got us to where we are today, we wouldn’t be facing the success that we are. Our experiences in life are who we are, so wouldn’t it make sense to take a look back and see which experiences gave us or strengthened some of our skills? This is beneficial for a few reasons. 

Great for anecdotal references in interviews. How many of us have been asked to “Provide an example of when…”? when you think back on the experiences that have given you the skills you have today, you’ll have those types of stories at the ready for potential interviewers.  

Good stories to share with management. Stories that show character or a developing skill are great to share with a boss. They see you in a whole different light and stories and situations are much easier to stomach than a list of your qualifications. Most places like their managers to have the ability to experience a wide range of situations and yet still come out on top. 

Reminders that strength can come from unexpected places. We’ve all had that situation that we never thought we would be able to get out of, yet somehow, we managed to gather ourselves and pull ourselves out of the mess and thrive. It’s good to remember your success stories, especially when you’re feeling a little down on your luck. It gives you perspective. 

Helps us remember that even bad experiences can have good results. Again, sometimes, the most adverse conditions are when people’s true strengths shine. I’m not saying we should be in crisis mode all the time, but when you think you simply can’t do it, remind yourself of a time when things were much worse, yet you overcame.

There is a time and a place for manipulation.

Have you ever been in a meeting where you went in with a perfectly formed opinion, and after one person spoke, you left with the exact opposite? When you think back on how in the world it happened, you can quite put your finger on it. The person who spoke was eloquent, well-researched, charismatic and other members of upper management really seem to respect this person. So, yes, it does make sense that you valued their opinion and changed your mind. That’s what their intention was all along. You, my friend, were manipulated! (cue dramatic revelation music here). 

I’m really not a big fan of the word “manipulation” because of the all the negative connotations it has in the business world. Now, if we were all carpenters and I said that Jones had done an excellent job manipulating that table leg in the lathe, we would all applaud Jones’ skill. However, if I say Jones did an excellent job manipulating the board members, suddenly, things turn nefarious. But, to put your minds all at ease, here’s the dictionary definition of “manipulation:” 

“Handle or control, typically in a skillful manner.” 

When you hear it like that, it’s not so bad, right? 

But, for all intents and purposes, I’m going to substitute “influence” for “manipulation” so we can all feel better about this conversation.

So when is influence the ticket? The answer to that, is just about all the time. If you want to find success in your career, you have got to be using all of the influence you have in order to impress and stand out among your peers. 

With your employees. Influence with your employees means getting them to do their work to an excellent manner, without them doing it “for you.” Use your influence to make your employees feel special and that when they do well, they know that you’ll be there to back them up and help them get the respect and recognition hey deserve. 

With your peers. When it comes to your colleagues, you are all, on some level, competing with each other. While you may form very deep personal friendships with some of these people (you spend more time with them than with your family most weeks) and you may even feel comfortable enough talking about the competition. Influencing your peers to realize what a great fit for upper management over anyone else, is a tricky task, but one that you should always be working on. 

With upper management. You influence over this group of people is very important. If you can’t make them see what a great candidate for promotion you are, then how will you get promoted. Use your influence during any professional interactions with management. Work on persuading doubters and in no time, you’ll be moving your stuff into a corner office. 

Own your fears and soon they will have less power

The longer I work in my field, the more often I experience how much damage fear can do to a person’s career or home life. I can see it coming a mile away, but usually it hits so hard that I’m powerless to do anything to help unless the person I’m working with is willing to face their own fears and embrace them. 

What’s the best way to embrace my fears? I find that the best way to face, address and embrace your fears is to do it head on. When you only address something indirectly, you run the risk of not conquering the fullness of the fear. Facing your fear straight on is not at all an easy task and, even though it might not feel like it at the time, it’s an incredibly courageous thing to even take on the task of facing your fears. 

Is there a way to slowly accept my fears? Well, sure, there’s a process to accepting and embracing your fears. Everyone goes through this process differently. While I may prefer the direct approach, that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the best way for everyone in the world. We’re each unique, so our way of embracing fear is going to differ. 

What if fear still gets the best of me? Don’t get down on yourself! Embracing fear is a pretty big deal and it takes a lot of bravery to confront and overcome what frightens you the most. If you find fear getting the best of you, don’t feel defeated. Know that there will be a day soon when you’ll overcome and embrace your fear. 

Who can help me face my fears? Ultimately, embracing your fears is your own journey, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have help along the way. Rely on trusted friends and colleagues to support you as you muster the courage to face your fears and overcome them.

Link your happiness with your success

So many people are laboring under the impression that in order to be successful, you have to give up a little piece of your happiness. Whoever told you this is full of it, because I am a proud believer that we can all have a happiness and success at the same time. 

Finding success and happiness at the same time isn’t necessarily the easiest thing in the world. It takes time and dedication and the ability to ask for what you deserve. And what we all deserve is a fulfilling career, right?  

Here’s how: 

F: Fully embrace your career

U: Unapologetically work in your best interest

L: Love the work you do and work on things you love

F: Find your inner strength

I: Impress those around you with your passion

L: Live your life according to your own definitions

L: Let go of others’ negativity

M: Make certain to be thankful for the support you receive

E: Engage in positive conversations with your coworkers and managers

N: Never stop trying

T: Take time for yourself 

That’s right, ladies, when you find both happiness and success, you lead a very fulfilled life! I like to think of these little things as bricks that lay the path between success and happiness. Alone, they may not get you very far, but when they’re put together, they create a strong bond that will make it so easy to find happiness and success and get the fulfillment that we search for during our careers.

Are you using your power to lead or direct?

I recently came to a realization the other day that we (including myself) spend a lot more time focusing on all of the possible negative outcomes of women getting power. Now, while I maintain that you always need to be careful with the power that you have, there is absolutely nothing negative about women in positions of power. In fact, I’d say it’s pretty darn awesome to see a lady with some real responsibility. So, what are all of the great things that we, as women, do with our power that we may overlook? 

Help others. One thing that most women are absolutely great at, whether they are the CFO of a Fortune 500 company or a stay at home mother, is nurturing. So why shouldn’t you be able to nurture some new careers using your power and influence? Use your power to give deserving and eager new employees a chance to prove themselves.  

Put a stop to problems. As women, we tend to spend a lot of time worrying about problems and people outside of ourselves. While this can be detrimental if you let it get to you, I see nothing wrong with taking notice of what’s going on around you. Chances are, you’re more than likely than men to see if there are problems in the office due to emotional or mental problems of the employees. Plus, people will likely feel more comfortable talking to you. Use the power you have to help make changes to ease the emotional stress on your employees.

Institute new policies. You want to see change happen? So go out there and make it happen! Don’t wait around for someone else to make waves. You’re perceptive and your intuition is keen. If you’re certain something is the right move, just make it. You have the power and authority to do so; go for it! 

Now I want to hear from you. What are some of the positive ways that you’ve used your power to do something positive?

<dl id="attachment_9536" class="wp-caption alignright" style="width: 310px;"> <dt class="wp-caption-dt"></dt> <dd class="wp-caption-dd">Once you understand your own intuition, it’s time to teach others.</dd> </dl>

You’re a successful woman. You’ve worked hard to get where you are (and where you’re going!) and a good part of that is by learning how to listen to and analyze your intuition. I’m sure that you have employees that you rely on to help you finish projects and handle various tasks and I’m sure that there are one or two that you would like to mentor and teach some of your “secrets” so that they can find success as much as you have. Well, one of the things you’re probably going to have to teach them is how to hone, listen to, trust and communicate their intuition. So how do you best teach someone how to listen to their own heart? 

Let them know you want to help. How can you mentor someone if you don’t let them know you’re going to do so? Also, you’re going to want to make sure that the person you’d like to mentor is actually up and ready for the challenge and wants your help. 

Periodically “check in.” The best way to find out how someone is feeling is by scheduling mini meetings to just check on how your little “grasshopper” is doing. Talk to them about how they fell their intuition has helped and/or hindered them in the past week or two.

Encourage their thoughts and feelings. In order for your employees to rely on their intuition, they have to feel comfortable expressing their emotions at work. An environment that discourages emotional connections is not the best place for people to learn how to rely on their intuition. 

Run situations by them. Just like many other career paths, students often don’t learn skills until they are forced to use them. Rather than talk at your employees, ask them what their gut says to do in a given situation. After they say what their reaction would be, talk about it. What was good, what might not work. Above all, be gentle. You’re dealing with a delicate area for some people and you don’t want to do more damage than good! 

Listen to YOUR intuition. It does no one any good if you aren’t listening to your own intuition. If you feel like you might have made a mistake or someone is ready for more responsibility, listen to your gut. It is, after all, what you’re trying to teach your employees.

If you enjoyed this post, I’d be grateful if you’d help it spread by emailing it to a friend or colleague, or sharing it on Twitter, LinkedIn, or Google+. Thank you!

When we find success it’s important to avoid getting an over inflated ego.

Forget David Letterman, ladies, because today, we’ve got a top ten list that you do not want to miss. When you’re at the top of your game, it can be really hard to keep your feet on the ground and remain level-headed. I thought I would keep this light, but remember; only you can prevent your own big ego. And now, without further ado, the top ten ways to know if you’re becoming too arrogant at work. 

10. You assume anyone coming into your office is there to talk your coffee or lunch order. Even if it’s the VP of Marketing. 

9. You make sure that “Eye of the Tiger” starts playing anytime you enter a board meeting. 

8. You run a victory lap or two every time someone compliments your ideas. 

7. Whenever someone agrees with you, you look at them and say, “Well, DUH!”

6. You claim an entire area in the office refrigerator stating that it’s the “Executive Shelf.” 

5. You give all of your employees condescending nicknames and then have nameplates made for each of them. 

4. You make the entire office give you a standing ovation every morning when you arrive for work. 

3. Forget assigned parking spots. The best one is automatically yours.  

2. Demand thank you notes from employees every pay period. 

And now, the number one way to know if you’re becoming too arrogant at work: 

1. 1.    While at a business dinner, insist on placing order from “most important” to “least important.” Place your order immediately following this statement.  

While these examples are pretty silly, I just want to point out that when we let success go to our head, sometimes we can do pretty silly things because we think we’re important enough to get away with it. Keep a level head and watch success follow you wherever you go!

Don’t let a disorganized life keep you from success.

If you’re reading this in your office (at home or work), stop for a moment and take a look at the desk in front of you. What do you see? Is it a mess of receipts, sticky notes, reminders, food wrappers, business cards and other clutter? Can you even see your desk through the mess? If you said yes, it’s ok. You aren’t alone. Many of us experience disorganization in our lives. We handle so many other tasks that keeping things organized is usually at the bottom of our list of things to do. But there are several reasons why staying organized should always be a priority in our lives. 

It’s easier to keep track of items and tasks. Oftentimes, we’ll jot a note to ourselves or set a business card down to be dealt with later and then, when we need it, we have no idea where it is. Taking the time to organize your area or desk lets you consciously put items in a place where you’ll remember them.  

Organizing does more than clear your desk. Sometimes our desk becomes an extension of our mind. So when it’s cluttered, so is our brain. Organizing your desk does more than get rid of unnecessary items in real life; it lets us “trash” any useless thoughts swimming around our brain.  

Instead of setting it aside, organizing forces you to manage tasks. It’s so easy to write a note, set it aside and put it off indefinitely. However, when you organize your space, you have to deal with those little notes. You have to decide how important it is or whether it’s worth your time. Organizing your space helps to set priorities and goals.

An organized space gives a good first impression. Who would you trust more: someone with a neat and tidy space or someone with a mess of an office? I bet you said you would prefer to work with the more organized person. So would everyone else. Keeping your space neat makes you more inviting to your peers and superiors.