Influence By Design

 

Shakespeare said it best: “All the world’s a stage and the men and women are merely players.” This is very true, I believe, but there’s no saying that you can’t have a lead role in your company’s “production.” So what’s the key to playing the star at your company? 

Know your lines. If you haven’t already practiced what you want to say beforehand, you won’t deliver a performance with the confidence you need to influence your superiors or peers. Also, the better you know the material, the easier it is for you to adlib on the spot if you need to.  

Practice good blocking. You may not think that positions play a critical role in influencing people, but they most certainly do. Make sure, when you’re presenting, to be in an area that can be easily seen by everyone present and that your voice carries well.  

Timing is everything. The wrong timing can blow even the most appealing and well-rehearsed pitch. Make sure that you pay attention to the cues around you so that you deliver a performance that’s timed flawlessly.  

Make sure your supporting cast is stellar. A good lead is only as successful as their supporting cast so make sure that you surround yourself with a staff that you can trust to produce amazing results and lift you up along with them

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Getting up and going into work day after day can be a real drag. Some mornings you just want to pull the sheets over your head and go back to sleep. Keeping your morale up each day can be really difficult. Trust me, I understand. But there are a few things that I’ve learned to do over the years that have helped me keep my energy and morale pretty high most days.  

1.    Start every morning with a new, positive thought. It’s amazing what starting each morning on a positive note can do for your morale. I challenge you to start each morning with a great thought or a self-compliment and tell me how much better you feel at the end of that week. Just by choosing positivity first thing in the morning, you can send a message to the rest of your day and brain: “I’m staying positive today and nothing you can do will stop me!”

2.    Eat breakfast. Starting your morning out without energy can just create less and less energy as the day wears on. Whether it’s some fruit and granola or a hearty breakfast of eggs and bacon, get that food/energy in your body before you get going for the day.

3.    Get to work a little early. I know some of you are probably thinking I’m crazy for suggesting this, but I’m suggesting 10-15 minutes early, not an hour. When you get to work a little bit earlier than most people, you have time to settle into your desk/office in a more organized manner. Coming in on time or late means being bombarded with questions and tasks the minute you walk in the door, which can be very draining.

4.    Make sure to eat those greens. It’s tempting to eat junk food at work because it’s satisfying and it feels like you’re doing something fun for yourself however, that sugar and salt is only going to make you sluggish later on. If you want a snack, try an apple or grapes or carrots. They still taste good, but they won’t slow you down later.

5.    Stop and breathe. IT sounds so easy, doesn’t it? Breathing? Not in the middle of a crisis or a long work day. When you start feeling bogged down or like your morale is at an all-time low, just breathe. Clear your mind and just breathe for about 5 minutes, then watch the difference.

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Smart business requires you to connect and network. You have the choice to align with people who can help you, or people who won’t do much for you.

Surprisingly, many people in business spend way too much time with people who don’t or won’t help them. Then they wonder why things aren’t moving forward for them. They underestimate the significance and value of being around or doing business with influential people.

Who are the influential people you need? They are the customers who tell everyone they know how great you are. They are the vendors who will bend over backwards to satisfy your every need. They are the potential business partners who see the promise and worth of your product or service and want to join in, and they are the people who connect you to other influential people.

The most valuable influential person has the attention of the audience you are trying to connect with.

See the value? Influential people don’t just walk in the door. Well, sometimes they do, but are you taking advantage of the opportunity? Are you creating the opening to meet, do business with or help an influential person?

Here are 7 tips that will forge a long-term relationship with an influential person.

1. Know what the influential person looks like. Don’t just grab someone because they have celebrity status. You need to understand what your intention is. What does your business need? What do you want to accomplish? What’s critical for you to get ahead or make things happen? Once you have a handle on who that specific influential person is for you, then you can make your move.
2. Do your homework. Observing and studying your target is essential. Know their habits, attitudes and interests. What makes them tick? What’s their business model? How can you help them? What can you offer that they will find attractive or indispensable for what they want?
3. Be on top of your game. Be authentic and sincere. Influential people spot phoniness and fraud a mile away. Be able to articulate your message, ideas or partnership thoughts.
4. Keep initial contact brief. Three page emails will get you blocked. Rather, sum up what you want to convey in a few sentences. End with a call to action, such as asking them when a good time would be to call, inviting them to respond to a question about their business, or sharing a story of something you have in common.
5. Personal is best. Don’t be afraid to share who you are. Tell a story that hits their emotions. Be who you are. Influential people know and understand that you are trying to get in front of them. The truly influential person respects and appreciates honesty and sincerity. If you name drop or brag on yourself, you’ve lost them.
6. Be patience and persistent. When you reach out and don’t get an answer in the time frame you expect, sit tight. Influential people are busy. Don’t feel that you are being ignored; give them the benefit of the doubt. They’re human, too. Send another email, or better yet, a handwritten note. Persistence is seen as a commitment to building the relationship. Sometimes, influential people will test your resolve.
7. ASK! Why is it that so many people neglect this so-simple-it’s-absurd practice? Because they don’t see themselves as worthy. They have a sense that they could never persuade or win over someone. You need to get out there and practice asking. Start with people who you think will say yes if you need to build your confidence. Then go from there.

The worst thing you can do in trying to connect with an influential person is talk yourself out of it. Stop doubting yourself and believe you have what it takes. Don’t give in to fear.

After all, the influential person puts his or her pants on one leg at a time – just like you and me.

[This is only one of the many powerful articles in this week's Influence It! Real Power for Women free ezine. To enjoy the full issue, jam packed with insightful information on strategies to enhance your personal and professional life to achieve ultimate success, you must be a subscriber. Sign up for your own free subscription NOW by clicking here!]

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When you’re in a business meeting, I’m sure you’re aware that there are so many more things happening than what’s being said on the surface. There are glances, subconscious noises and movements that we don’t even notice that we make that tell others exactly what we’re thinking. In poker, it’s known as a tell. In business, it’s known as an advantage. So what are some of the basics for learning to read body language that can give you the upper hand when negotiating? 

Positive Body Language

In general, when someone is in agreement with you or likes what you’re proposing, their body language will change to reflect this. Look for some of the following behaviors to indicate positive reactions: 

•      Leaning closer to you
•      Long periods of eye contact
•      Relaxed arms and limbs that are uncrossed
•     Genuine smiles (I’ll go into this a little later) 

Remember, even when a person is playing hardball, a lot of times, their body and unconscious movements will give them away. 

Negative Body Language

How can you tell when someone isn’t taking very kindly to you or your presentation? There are a few key things to look for in the way a person behaves: 

•     Moving away from you
•     Looking away to the side, as if distracted
•     Crossed arms or legs
•     Rubbing or scratching their nose, eyes or the back of their neck (careful, during some seasons, this can just be a case of allergies!) 

If you start to see some of these signs, you might want to back off or change your tactics until you see a positive reaction. 

Spotting a Liar

How can you tell when someone isn’t being completely truthful in a meeting? There are a few tells that most people have: 

•     Fake Smiles: When we involuntarily smile (that is, smile for real) our whole face smiles. People cannot fake the wrinkles in the skin next to our eyes, which crinkles when we’re really smiling. If the eyes don’t smile, the mouth is lying.
•    Too Much Eye Contact: That is, eye contact that feels almost calculated. These people aren’t paying attention because they’re interested, they’re keeping eye contact to prove to you that they’re interested and definitely not lying.
•     Stiff Upper Lip: Again, people who are lying try to keep everything very still, so a stiff, unmoving upper lip is generally a sign that they’re lying. 

Now get out there and negotiate some amazing deals based on the lessons you’ve learned here!

 

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When you’re in a business meeting, I’m sure you’re aware that there are so many more things happening than what’s being said on the surface. There are glances, subconscious noises and movements that we don’t even notice that we make that tell others exactly what we’re thinking. In poker, it’s known as a tell. In business, it’s known as an advantage. So what are some of the basics for learning to read body language that can give you the upper hand when negotiating? 

Positive Body Language

In general, when someone is in agreement with you or likes what you’re proposing, their body language will change to reflect this. Look for some of the following behaviors to indicate positive reactions: 

•      Leaning closer to you
•      Long periods of eye contact
•      Relaxed arms and limbs that are uncrossed
•     Genuine smiles (I’ll go into this a little later) 

Remember, even when a person is playing hardball, a lot of times, their body and unconscious movements will give them away. 

Negative Body Language

How can you tell when someone isn’t taking very kindly to you or your presentation? There are a few key things to look for in the way a person behaves: 

•     Moving away from you
•     Looking away to the side, as if distracted
•     Crossed arms or legs
•     Rubbing or scratching their nose, eyes or the back of their neck (careful, during some seasons, this can just be a case of allergies!) 

If you start to see some of these signs, you might want to back off or change your tactics until you see a positive reaction. 

Spotting a Liar

How can you tell when someone isn’t being completely truthful in a meeting? There are a few tells that most people have: 

•     Fake Smiles: When we involuntarily smile (that is, smile for real) our whole face smiles. People cannot fake the wrinkles in the skin next to our eyes, which crinkles when we’re really smiling. If the eyes don’t smile, the mouth is lying.
•    Too Much Eye Contact: That is, eye contact that feels almost calculated. These people aren’t paying attention because they’re interested, they’re keeping eye contact to prove to you that they’re interested and definitely not lying.
•     Stiff Upper Lip: Again, people who are lying try to keep everything very still, so a stiff, unmoving upper lip is generally a sign that they’re lying. 

Now get out there and negotiate some amazing deals based on the lessons you’ve learned here!

 

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What does any dare devil do once they’ve successfully jumped their motorcycle over 12 buses? Naturally, they add another bus or two and start all over again. When a dare devil achieves one risky move, they’re not satisfied. They have to constantly up the ante. 

Add another bus. When you feel like you’ve achieved the next level of success, don’t stop. Up the ante. It’s going to take you some time to be able to reach your next goal, so why not start right away? When you set new goals immediately, you’ll never stop growing and challenging yourself.  

Expect some crashes. As I stated above, you’re not going to make that next big jump immediately, there are going to be some pretty big hurdles to overcome, so expect to crash and burn a couple times. It’s OK, people will forget the mistakes once they see the impressive final results. 

Perform with flair. When you’re finally ready to make the next big jump, don’t do it with subtlety. Don’t be arrogant about it either, just make sure there are people around to witness the results of all your hard work.  

Never stop adding buses. If you want to keep succeeding, you can never stop trying to do better than what you achieved last. Always be looking to the horizon for bigger and better challenges.

 

When was the last time you swallowed what someone told you? Specifically, when “they” said you weren’t good enough or capable or too old? Did you accept it as gospel?

Sadly, people buy into the belief that what society, their education or even their experience has taught them is the end-all. They begin to agree that maybe they can’t, shouldn’t or will never.

Every morning you wake up is another chance for you to do or to be something different. It may be expressing an original idea, developing a new approach, or simply creating another perspective.

You weren’t born knowing how to do everything you do now. You learned without the consideration of limitations. As you got older, the idea of being Superman or Wonder Woman escaped to the recesses of your mind.

Why? You started to tell yourself you needed to get “realistic.” What that meant for many people was it wasn’t real to believe you could get a better job or start a new career. It wasn’t real to think you could improve your lifestyle. It wasn’t real to want more and get it.

Your reality started to consist of being satisfied and being proud of where you settled. Accepting that the dream you had years ago was just a fleeting memory.

And there lies the problem. You stopped dreaming.

You rationalized that what you believed was possible wasn’t attainable. That’s where you began to justify your reality. You told yourself you didn’t want that or needed to do this. Your ideas of success changed. You forgot about the excitement in reaching beyond what you thought possible.

Many people stop trying. They settle. They’ve become their own glass ceiling.

But you don’t have to. You can continue to experience the exhilaration of reaching out, the pleasure of achieving and the thrill of chasing sought after dreams.

First, get out of your own way. That requires you to honestly assess your negative thoughts, self-defeating behaviors and lack of commitments. Write them down. Carry that list with you. Add to your list. Shine the light on everything that is pulling you down. Know that these limits are self-imposed, and you are the only one who can remove them.

Second, set the bar – HIGH! What happens with many people is not that their aim is too high and they miss it, but that their aim is too low and they reach it. That is when they stop trying.

Third, show up. Get in the game. Be present. Start participating in your life. Too many people sit on the sidelines and expect things to happen. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings. Recognize the influence you have on others. Decide what that influence will be. Become the architect of your life.

Fourth, expect it. ASK! Whatever “it” is for you, expect it with complete certainty. When you let go of self-imposed limits, you release worry and the need for perfection. Then you can see what God has in store for you.

Believe the unbelievable. See the invisible. Imagine the unimaginable. Shatter your glass ceiling. Your future depends on it.

It’s the one constant fact of life: there is nothing constant except the beating of your own heart. Life changes as we grow older. Our priorities change as our life makes it through twists and turns. Some changes are momentous and many are small. But if we can’t learn to change our goals with the changes that happen in our lives, we may find ourselves becoming more and more frustrated with our inability to meet these goals. So how can you effectively change goals throughout various stages in your life? 

Recognize changing priorities. Before you can make changes to your goals, you have to realize that your life is changing. If you can’t accept that you have changing priorities and your life is moving in a new direction, it will be very hard to make changes to your existing goals.  

Take baby steps. If the goal you had was a pretty big life goal, you aren’t going to be able to change it overnight. Don’t bite off more than you can chew, in other words. Look at your life goals in smaller, micro goals. See if there are areas you can tweak rather than change the whole darn thing. 

Change parts of a bigger goal. Of course, if you find areas that can be broken down into smaller goals, but will still help you get to your bigger goals, I recommend looking at those first. Tinker with the smaller parts before you completely overhaul a major component.

Constantly reevaluate your life and goals. Once you’ve made smaller changes keep track of them. Make sure you feel like your goals are always in line with the direction your life is headed. While it’s always good to have ambition and drive, trying to force your life in a direction it may not want to go typically yields bad results.

Yes, yes, yes, we’ve all heard it before: “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” It’s the honest truth. While we’re technically the same species, it can be shocking to think that we come from the same planet, let alone genus. While men may be more forceful and overt about their wants and needs, women tend to be more suggestive and quiet about what they would like. Of course, this is a generalization, but it has been shown in studies that this is the case most of the time. 

However, just because women may not be as outwardly aggressive as men, does not mean that women are the weaker of the sexes. Far from it! We have quite a few mental strengths that men might not possess and we should use them to our advantage. 

Listening to Peers

Ah, listening. One of the many skills women are endowed with that seems to have skipped men. Of course, men can learn listening skills, but for women, it’s innate. We’re drawn to forums and conversations that involve discussion and listening in order for there to be resolution and revolution.  

Talking it Out

One of the biggest differences between men and women is that we tend to want to talk our problems over with our peers. While this may not be the best solution for every problem, talking to our peers or employees to gain insight into a problem and find a solution can be a real strength and asset in the corporate world. 

Thinking it Over

Maybe we over-think things from time to time, but we do tend to run every scenario in our head (sometimes aloud as well) before we come to a final conclusion. While women might have a reputation for being impulsive and emotional, we often think over big decisions with attention to even minute details. 

Communicating Clearly

Communication in today’s business world is of epic importance, so when a sex is imbued with a natural ability to communicate, they can get the upper hand. Women are natural communicators. We’re open and can easily facilitate conversations that get results!