kathymcginley's Blog

Who would have ever thought....? Certainly not me. Today marks my first wedding anniversary...to a woman. But before you congratulate me...or judge me...here's my story.

I have been married twice before to men and lived a lifestyle with all the entitlements. During that time, I raised two beautiful boys. I'm sure we can all agree that sometimes we marry for the wrong reasons...Perhaps we feel we don't deserve to be in a satisfying, healthy relationship or maybe we don't really know what love is. Or it's possible that our upbringing or society has blinded us to who we really are.

Whatever the reason, it wasn't until I was 52 and working side by side with this particular woman, (who is now my wife), that I felt a strong heartfelt connection that I had longed for all of my life. What was happening to me? Why did I feel like my heart was going to explode? Why couldn't I concentrate at work? All I know is, it was something that I needed to explore.

After deep introspection and some counseling, it was obvious to me that I was "in love." So I had to make a decision...Shall I leave an entitled lifestyle to one that was more challenging with all it's inequities? Can I deal with the judgment and discrimination from friends as well as strangers? Shall I continue a life of feeling unfulfilled because I'm supposed to be straight?

Well, it's obvious that I made a decision to live authentically. Living my truth is more important than worrying about what others think. I may have lost a couple of friends in the process but I have gained new friends and respect in the long run. People have recognized that I have been happier than I have ever been during these last few years.

I am hoping my story can help people realize that it's simply about love...Falling in love with someone, opposite sex or same sex....who cares? Having lived a heterosexual lifestyle, I didn't understand what it meant to be "gay." Now I do...We are all children of God who deserve to be treated with respect and equality.

So the decision to live in fear and judgement or peace and love is yours. I choose peace and love.

"What the world needs now... is love, sweet love...That's the only thing that there's just too little of..."

Living authentically and in love,
Kathleen
www.lesbewell.com

Many women are in denial and are not living in alignment with their truth and therefore, may not want to engage in self-discovery. If they discover their truth, it may require them to change...Oh no!

Do you have the courage to answer this question? : "If you had to list the top three reasons why you are on this planet, what would you write?"

Did it include, "raise the children?" or "take care of the house?" or "work as a _______?" Aren't you forgetting something? Where do YOU fit in? Who did you come here to BE? Where are you deriving your pleasure from? Is it only by "giving"? What about "receiving"?

Too often, we got so focused on taking care of everyone and everything, we forget about ourselves. Or it may be that we only feel good about ourselves when we have too much to handle...

Are you happy in all areas of your life? Are you living according to "shoulds" OR your truth? Are you doing that which gives your heart the greatest joy? Or does it feel better to play the role of a martyr by giving yourself no permission to have fun.

In order to give to others, we must give to ourselves first. It is not an act of selfishness; rather, it is an act of self-love.
Have the courage to engage in self discovery and recognize that you are here for a reason. You have a gift that nobody else in this world can duplicate. In order to find that gift, you need to look inside yourself. Wouldn't it be great to live your passion?

So, do something today that brings you joy. You are here to ENJOY this earthly experience! If you take life too seriously, nobody wins. Balance work with play and watch not only YOUR life transform, but everyone else's life, too!

Life is short...be happy!

Warmly,
Kathleen
Phoenix Adventures in Wellness
www.phoenixadventure.com
Les Be Well
www.lesbewell.com

It has becoming increasingly evident to me that many women live in a state of fear. And, unfortunately, a lot of us do not realize how much our lives are dictated by it! This keeps us from living lives of happiness and inner peace.

For example, if I were to ask you to engage in a challenging problem solving activity with other women with whom you did not know, what would be your first thought? ...Did my suggestion just take you into thinking, "What if I can't do this?" or "What will they think of me?" Do you see this challenge as an opportunity to try something new or are you threatened by it?

Many of us are so concerned about what others think of us if we fail to do something well. Where does that fear come from? Wouldn't it be nice to have fun trying new things without the fear of someone judging us? How do you respond to others who may not do well trying something for the first time?

In order to be happy and attain inner peace, try not to be so externally referenced. Rather, have the courage to become internally referenced by knowing yourself and loving her. Take the time to become conscious of your thoughts and feelings when relating to others. Recognize when you are afraid of what others think, or when you compare or judge. Know that it is not important to be liked and accepted by everyone. What is more important is to be able to feel comfortable with your true self, both when you are alone and with others. Only then will you truly be happy.

With peace, love, and joy,
Kathleen
www.phoenixadventure.com
Phoenix Adventures in Wellness
www.lesbewell.com
Les Be Well

Did you ever stop to think why you are here? I remember asking myself that very question when I was in my thirties. I was in a full time job, a part time job and raising two children...or maybe three if you include my husband. It felt like my purpose was to make as much money as I could and take care of everyone... except for myself. So, when I did have a moment to myself, I realized that I was very unhappy. My needs were unmet.

I realized that my happiness was based on other people's approval. To everyone else, it looked like I was happy because I was always smiling, They even nicknamed me "happy Kathy." Years of people-pleasing and doing what others wanted me to do kept me from looking at my true needs. I became empty.

This was a time of my life that was very significant because I was waking up to the realization that felt like I did not exist for me. So I began to make conscious decisions about everything. I looked at "why" I did what I did. Was it a "should?" Was it what "they" wanted or what I wanted?

My conscious journey has been so life changing. It has been twenty years of self discovery and a recognition that we all are unique with special gifts and talents. We do not need to compare ourselves to others because we each are special in our own way. Nobody on this planet is exactly like us...We are born with a purpose; we just have to find it.

So it is our responsibility to have fun discovering who we are and who we came here to be. Becoming internally referenced and standing strong n Spirit will take us on a journey of adventure....and an understanding of why we are here.

With love, peace, and joy,
Kathleen
Phoenix Adventures in Wellness
www.phoenixadventure.com
Les Be Well community
www.lesbewell,com

Spring is almost here! What a perfect time to give birth to new ideas and dreams! New growth and new life are symbolic of Spring so it's time to plant the seeds of the things you want to manifest in 2012.

What one needs to know is that we are co-creators of our lives. We just have to be willing to take the time to be conscious of our thoughts and ideas, knowing that our thoughts create our reality. So what better time to give birth to our dreams than the Spring Equinox!

A great way to birth a new vision is by creating "vision eggs." Fill a plastic egg with things that are symbolic of what you want to create in your near future. Examples are rose petals for love, confetti for fun, coins for prosperity, sugar for sweetness, etc. Then create a collage of words by gluing them to the outside of your egg. Place the egg in a window on the east side of your home. On the Summer Solstice, open the egg and keep it on the window sill for the next three months. See your dreams becoming a reality!

One does not have to know the "hows" of manifestation. But it's essential to have 100% trust in the Universe and an ability to "let it go." Pay attention to the "coincidences" that begin to occur as the Universe is giving clues of how one should proceed. It is your responsibility at that point to take action.

Happy Spring!

With love,peace, and joy,
Kathleen
Les Be Well community
www.lesbewell.com
Phoenix Adventures in Wellness
www.phoenixadventure.com

It amazes me to see how many people live in fear. Worries, anxiety, depression, judgment, jealousy and anger are all examples of a fear based life. These are thoughts and emotions that are coming from our egos; they are all part of our "false self.' I only wish that people could recognize that they don't have to live this way.

We are all spiritual beings living an Earthly existence in these temporary, ever changing bodies. Our spirits, the invisible part of ourselves, never change. This is our "true self" that originated from our Creator of the Universe and will return "home" some day.

When we can connect to our spirit, the divinity within us, we will experience love, gratitude, honesty, trust, openness, and forgiveness for self and others. Judgment will be non-existent and struggles will disappear. A feeling of knowing that "all is well' will permeate every situation, knowing that everything is in Divine order.

So how do we shift from our head to our hearts? Take time to become internally referenced instead of externally. Get quiet and breathe into your heart space, creating a connection with your true self which is love. Pay attention to your thoughts as your thoughts create your reality. Often what you fear is what you attract into your life. And, if you have negative self talk, change it to positive...even if you don't believe it. Affirm that you are love, loved, and lovable....because you are.

With peace, love and joy,
Kathleen
Les Be Well community
www.lesbewell.com
Phoenix Adventures in Wellness
www.phoenixadventure.com

Assuming that you are a woman who is interested in changing the way we are viewed (and treated) by society, here are some facts that may motivate you to help create the new "normal" for women.

At a conference today, I listened to Dr. Elizabeth Meade, Acting Provost at Cedar Crest College, suggest that historically, men and male dominated institutions shaped the language and defined the word, "woman." She cited various words such as "chick," "shrew," "bitch" and "doll" which are still used to objectify us or put us in the same category as animals. These words have made us feel less than human and still have an impact on us today.

In addition, the media is male dominated and, for decades, has been responsible for creating the standards of beauty. Today, if you don't have a thin body with big breasts and a shapely butt, you are not considered beautiful. And, if you don't conform by dressing a certain way, you might be chastised. Women are resorting to plastic surgery more and more, thinking that they are nothing more than their bodies.

So, if you want to continue to conform and "buy" into these definitions and standards, nothing will change. But let me remind you...We are spiritual beings in a temporary, ever changing body while on this planet. There is nothing more frustrating to your "soul" than feeling like you can't be yourself. Your soul is "real" and needs to be free to express herself. There is nothing more important than finding your "truth."

So, what can you do? If you can be strong enough to , engage in self knowledge, eliminate your limiting beliefs, and become the powerful woman that you are, we can create the new 'normal' for women....and change the world.

With peace,love, and joy,
Kathleen
Les Be Well
www.lesbewell.com

Here I am, recovering from an ugly bout of a stomach virus...Two days ago, I spent over 12 hours of violent "retching and runs" to the point where I didn't know which "end" was up...

Today, I am still in my pajamas, moving around the house slowly, and on a diet of warm tea, grease-knuckle soup, and toast. One flight of stairs does me in, and I'm ready to go back to bed.

So what "good" has come out of this? Why do we have to be subjected to such pain and suffering? I can't imagine having gone one more day with the nausea.

But, even in sickness, I know that there is a reason for this. How did I co-create this? Why did I co-create this?

Certainly, it was a time of major "releasing". I have never felt cleaner, not only physically, but mentally, too. When we suffer, there is nowhere to go but the present moment. It forces us to be here now and all of the other seemingly important things just fade away. As we recover, we do it slowly and everything is still in slow motion, giving us time to reflect on who we are and what is really important to us.

Sometimes the Universe forces us to slow down and smell the roses if we can't do it on our own. And, unfortunately, sometimes it requires self-sacrifice and praying to the "ivory God"..

Lesson learned...Take time for yourself or the Universe will do it for you.

With peace, love, and joy,
in sickness and in health,
Kathleen
Les Be Well community
www.lesbewell.com

Aging parents...It seems as though almost every friend of mine is experiencing this same issue. Roles are reversed; we now become the parents. And it's not always fun.

I just arrived in sunny California to visit my father who lives in a beautiful retirement community called Sun City. He has been living here for the past year and had decided to sell his home in Pennsylvania and live here permanently.

It brings me such joy to see him so happy. You see, when my mother passed away four years ago, Dad experienced tremendous grief. Not only had he been married to her for 56 years, but he was her primary caregiver for 26 years due to her having Parkinson's Disease. It's wonderful to see him finally happy and doing what gives him the most pleasure.

Dad lives a simple life. All he needs is a sunny, warm climate so he can sit outside and swim. His companion is his 14 year old Maltese named Caly. He doesn't make any effort to socialize; he is perfectly content with his schedule of swimming, reading the paper, eating and watching TV.

But every time I visit him, I see him becoming more frail. He is 83 years old now, uses a cane and walks very slowly. He is forgetful at times so it worries me. It's hard to see him this way when he was always admired by others for his youthful, strong, and healthy body and mind. It will be necessary to continue to monitor him to determine how long he will be able to live on his own. Fortunately, my brother lives two hours away and sees him every other weekend.

So now I must initiate some new conversations with Dad. I want to make sure that Dad's wishes are followed through. We need to discuss arrangements if he is unable to live alone at one point. And, although he has a living will and other legal documents, there are still other issues that need to be discussed. I want to make sure that his wishes are followed through.

Well, now I am going to set up automatic Bill pay so Dad does not have to write checks anymore. But then we will head to the pool where he responds repeatedly to my statement of "It's so beautiful here..." with "Well, somebody's got to do it..."

Love you, Dad.

Peace,
Kathleen
Les Be Well community leader
www.lesbewell.com
www.phoenixadventure.com

How do we get to a place where we feel we don't matter? What makes us forget who we are and why we are here? Why have people forgotten what is really important?

Well, many of us feel we only have worth because of what our society taught us. The educational system emphasizes early on that we are only good enough if we have good grades to be successful...And how is success defined? One is trained to think that he/she is successful if he/she attains a position of power and has a lot of money. So power and greed have become ingrained in our brains as being the reason for living since we have been children.

If we aren't powerful or wealthy, we often look for ways to attain that, even if it requires dishonesty or unlawfulness. And, unfortunately, many of the wealthy feel that they still don't have 'enough.' Lying, stealing, and cheating have become strategies for many because if they aren't in a place of power or wealthy, they feel they do not matter...

How do we change this? One possible solution is to revamp the educational system and provide a conscious-based, relevant and practical education. Children need to learn early on that each one of them is unique with special gifts. Teachers need to help them hone these gifts; teaching to the tests are creating robotic and depressed children. They need to be taught to connect with their spirit and the natural world around them, understanding that everyone and everything has a purpose. Becoming internally referenced as opposed to externally referenced will allow them to recognize that all their answers are within.

Years ago,I had felt that I was "nobody" unless I had money and a prestigious position. It wasn't until I shifted my thinking into recognizing that what is really important is living in peace, love and joy. One does not need to have money and power to have these things. Having self love and trusting the Universe to give me what I need has allowed me to see my life as a gift.

It has become my purpose to help others recognize that they are "somebody." We are children of God and have a purpose on this Earth. All we need to do is go within and listen.

Namaste,
Kathleen
Les Be Well community leader
www.lesbewell.com

Why do women buy into the media's message that has defined the standards of beauty for women in our society? According to the media and advertising industries, in order to be physically "beautiful," a woman needs to have a thin body with large breasts, toned butt, flat tummy and no wrinkles. If she doesn't measure up to these standards and she has "bought into" this message, she often ends up on several diets, becomes anorexic or bulimic, or resorts to plastic surgery. Why does she do this?

Women need to realize that the media has affected the way they see themselves. The media, comprised mostly of men, has been communicating these ideas to our society for a long time. The impact of the media on girls and women is toxic, making us believe that we are nothing unless we are beautiful, sexy and young.

It's time for women to step up and become active in redefining our beauty. It is not acceptable to allow men to define who we are and what we are capable of. How many men do you know who have big, beer bellies and still require that trophy wife? Why is it okay for him? How much advertising do you see about men and plastic surgery? It is time for women to discover their beauty and power within, with a recognition that we are beautiful just the way we are!


I used to put men on a pedestal and believed that I was 'less than" them. Once I shifted my thinking and found my power within, I no longer became defined by what they think I should be or how I should look. I make those decisions for myself now. If I want to lose weight, it's for me, not for somebody else.

I say, 'burn those bras,' sisters! It's time to take our lives back and own them... because you are beautiful, just the way you are!

With love, peace, and joy,
Kathleen
Les Be Well community leader
www.lesbewell.com

I just got fired up recently after watching the trailer of a documentary entitled, Miss Representation. It portrayed women in our society as having worth only through their beauty, youth and sex. The media has exploited women for years and has defined our roles. And, what makes me upset, is that we buy into it!

The Miss Representation movie will be on Oprah's network, OWN, tonight at 9:00. It is also being held at different venues across the US over the next few months. House parties are being held and discussion groups are being formed.

I look back and recognize that I used to put men on a pedestal and my role was to take care of them. If I couldn't, I felt "less than." Perhaps it was my upbringing from my parents of the '50's. Fortunately, I woke up about twenty years ago by engaging in self discovery which allowed me to step into my power. Regardless, it's time to redefine our roles and demonstrate our worth through leadership.

We are more powerful than we realize. Take the time to know yourself and release those limiting beliefs that we have held onto which keep us from using our gifts. Know that we, as women, are equal and have the power to make this world a better place.

"The world will be saved by the Western Woman."
-Dalai Lama

The time is now...The power is YOU! Are you in?

With peace, love and joy,
Kathleen
Les Be Well
www.lesbewell.com

As I laid in bed this morning, I started to think about my day and the various personal and business decisions I have to make. Then this voice came into my head and said, "Just do it!' I started to realize that many of my decisions have been put on the back burner. I have a tendency to procrastinate and often feel like I carry around a ton of bricks filled with indecisiveness.

I came downstairs, got a cup of coffee, and sat down at my computer. In my email was a link to a video of Bob Proctor, famous for his teaching role in the film, The Secret. I clicked on the link and what do you think message was about? You guessed it...Decision making.

Bob said that there was a study which demonstrated that a common factor among the wealthy people in the world was that they made quick decisions. Procrastinators, on the other hand, generally make less money. This made a lot of sense to me...And it was now my job to determine what the obstacles and fears are that are holding me back. Is it a fear of success or failure? Is it a fear of the unknown?

Regardless, I'm going to make my first decision of the day. And not knowing what the outcome of the decision will be is okay. It's time to start unloading the bricks, one decision at a time...but quickly.

With peace, love, and joy,
Kathleen
Les Be Well community leader
www.lesbewell.com

When I went though my divorce in 1992, it forced me to do a life review. I starting to ask myself, "why?" Why did I attract this kind of relationship? Why am I responding to things in life the way that I do? Why am I thinking the thoughts that I have?

What an eye opener. Becoming conscious of everything I think, say, and do has totally transformed my life. I am no longer on automatic pilot, sleepwalking my way through life as if I am in the passenger seat. I have become the "driver" of my life. I am now able to co-create relationships, jobs, and other things I desire.

An hour ago I was walking my dogs when a "Hummer" drove by us. It was moving much faster than the speed limit and almost hit us. I stopped to think...Why did that person buy a Hummer? What was his motivation? Why did he need to go so fast? Was it to impress people? Does he feel he needs to do that to feel powerful?

I don't know the answer. But I am not on this planet to impress people. I am here to live my truth, knowing that as long as I ask myself, 'why?', I will say and do the "right" thing. How do I know? I know.. because my motivation is to help make the world a better place What's yours?

With peace, love, and joy,
Kathleen
Les Be Well community leader
www.lesbewell.com

Respect...We've heard the word over and over again....We want to be respected...and think we are respecting others..But often we are not. So we need to create a definition of respect that can ultimately lead to peace in the world.

We are human beings, all born with different belief systems due to our upbringings. And with this in mind, we all have different opinions and feelings. That is what makes us a human being. So, we are NEVER wrong when we express an opinion or feeling. Opinions and feelings belong to each individual.

Respect, to me, means that we must honor the person with their opinions and feelings, even when we don't understand them or agree with them. For whatever reason, people believe and feel what they believe and feel. And that's okay.

There is nothing wrong with a debate, trying to explain why you may feel differently than someone else. But the bottom line is that neither person is wrong. If you tell someone they are "wrong," you are devaluing them as a human being. How important is it for you to be right? The only time you can tell someone they are wrong is when you present facts. If I told you that the color of this type is orange, you can tell me that I am wrong.

So wouldn't it be nice to respect everyone with their different opinions and feelings? What would the world be like then? We all can agree to disagree and peace would reign forever...

Peace,
Kathleen
Les Be Well Community leader
www.lesbewell.com

Did you ever notice that your intuition is stronger when you are in or around water? I have. The connection to the Universe is so much stronger. I have received some of my strongest messages when I am in the shower or around a body of water.

And,because the element of water is emotion, it teaches us how to feel our deepest emotions and honor them as allies. In so doing, they teach us to "go with the flow" and connect us to the hidden parts of ourselves.

Several years ago, I made the "mistake" of questioning the Universe while I was taking a bath. I felt like my life was in a rut and no forward progress was being made. I called out in anger, asking for help, but questioning if I was going to receive any...

Well, the next morning, my so called "prayers" were answered. But not in the way I expected. I had just experienced my first automobile accident in which I was broadsided, trapping me in the car. But I walked away from the accident without injury when, in fact, the police and medical personnel did not understand how I survived. That day certainly taught me a lesson and I was no longer feeling "stuck."

So be careful what you wish for! Our connection to the Universe is stronger than we realize. Just invite the Universal energy into your life and be ready to receive your request...

With peace, love, and joy,
Kathleen
Les Be Well Community leader
www.lesbewell.com