laccey's Blog

Today I need some help from my sisters at BraveHeart...

I have ended a three year relationship just recently and the pain is becoming overwhelming today.

I know that the relationship had to end so I just made a plan and put it into action..But now I realized what I did was an old familiar trick of mine, in times like these I never feel. I think what I need to do and then deal with my feelings later.

For example, when my mother and father and uncle died. Mother died first, then my father 32 days later, then my uncle the day after my father. I had to plan all the services and pay for them. That has been 18 years ago and I have never grieved for them yet.

I know that this is not healthy but that is the truth.

I am feeling lonely, sad, short of breath, I want so much to hear his voice, and have that man that I loved with me again. But I know that it would cost me my life if I did stay in that relationship, so I did what I know I needed to do. I left, started a new life, a new everything... But the pain wont go away.

I find my self getting angry at myself. Because I know I did the right thing, I have even had lunch with a male friend, joined a few social clubs, etc. But I am in pain. And it is getting increasingly worse as each day goes by.

If anyone has any advise I would appreciate your help. Thank you !

God Bless
Laccey

This week has been a journey that I never dreamed possible. I have been pursuing my dreams and have been offered three wonderful job opportunities, all are a dream of mine come true.

But for the last two days I have felt a tightness in my chest, a feeling of insecurity, doubt and hesitation. Even to the point it has been difficult to speak and breath at the same time, and my hands seem to tremble non-stop.

So I decided to dig down into what is going on and realized it is fear.

I have worked so many years to accomplish my dream job and now I am faced with three opportunities... and must make the decision in the next 24 hours. Who would ever thought!

But why the fear? I realized it is the fear of the unknown that I am about to embark upon. Getting out of my comfort zone if you may.

Even some low self esteem issues rising up....

But if you find yourself in a situation maybe similar to this...

Hear is a thought to ponder on...

To pursue your dreams whatever they might be with some fear issues is not failure
Doubting your decisions at times is not failure.
The old monkey on the back, this is crazy, is not failure.
I am fooling myself I can't really do this, is not failure.
I don't deserve this opportunity, is not failure.

Failure is not even trying.
Failure is giving up before you reach your goals.
Failure is not Fear!

So with this in mind I will press on. And want to encourage all you other ladies to join in the march of facing our fear and realizing we are human and will have doubts and fears.

But we will rise above it all! We will conquer!

God Bless you this day and every day after.

Lacey

When I found this site it was a breath of fresh air for me. I am at a stage in my life that change must come.

I have come from a childhood of abuse, several marriages of abuse, and glad to say a "Survivor" no longer a victim of abuse.

I have learned many life lessons in how this subject can affect your life thinking, relationships and decisions. My goal here is to connect to other women who will share their stories and successes with me and others, because I have found that in sharing and helping others it seems to help heal ourselves.

This site is a blessing and I look forward to being a part of it.

My goal this year is to not just say it is never to late...

But to prove it by doing it, Living my dreams.

Join with me in this endeavor this year...

"It is never to late"

Lacey