lesleymunchrath's Blog

Taking a Break

An important strategy, that is often overlooked, is taking a break. I have mentioned it in my earlier blogs but I felt it was so important it deserved its own focus.

One way to look at it is if we compare ourselves to a vehicle (pick whichever one you like). You use it to drive to appointments, take the kids around, drive parents, get groceries, go to work... you get my drift. Somewhere along the line we need to refuel the tank in order to keep using the car. In order to keep the vehicle in top running condition, we must ensure it has regular maintenance such as oil changes, tune ups, etc. Our cars also require cool down - we cannot just keep running it 24/7 or it would overheat and shut down.

Our bodies and minds are the same way. In order to keep in top condition and healthy to keep up with everything that goes on in our lives, we must take a break, refuel and keep up with regular maintenance. Refueling and maintenance comes in many forms - 5 minute break, mini break, hobbies, vacation, self development. There are many different ways to take a break!

What do you do to refuel?

Let's take 2009 Toward New Heights!

Lesley

Moving Froward with Hope instead of Fear III

As I mentioned in the previous blog - it is quite a simple process to switching your thoughts from negative to positive. The simple part is to reframe your thoughts, for example old thought "I don't want to be sick" and reframing it to "I am healthy" or if you find it challenging to state as something that is already happening you can frame it as "I am in the process of becoming healthy". When you are wanting to avoid something, such as an addiction or junk food or television instead of saying "I am not going to smoke today" or "I am not going to eat junk food today" reframe it as "I am going to the gym today" or "I am eating carrots for a snack". Think about what you are going to do not what you do not want to do.

Now here comes the part we sometimes find challenging - follow through. Keep reframing those thoughts - make it a habit and your actions will become more consistent with your thoughts. If you have a setback - pick yourself up, dust yourself off and rejoin the program already in process!

Let's take 2009 Toward New Heights!
Lesley

Moving Forward with hope instead of fear II

A simple way to find what you want instead of what you don't want is to turn your fear around into a positive statement. For example fear statement "I don't want to be sick" the positive spin "I want to be healthy". You can turn each fear around to focus on what you want instead of what you do not want.

I have worked with many people with addictions and so many become focused on not having a drink or a drug. We have worked together to focus on what they would like to do instead of taking that drink or using that drug. So they plan each of their days, making goals of what they want their days to look like such as - taking a walk, visiting with family, meditating. In doing this it takes the focus off the addiction and puts it to where they want to go.

This part is the simple step - take it a little at a time. Decide to make small changes in your thinking - planning your time in small increments - as you become more practiced - start to lengthen your time - you'll find it becomes a habit to reach toward what you want.

Let's take 2009 Toward New Heights!

Lesley

Strategy #4 Moving Forward with Hope Instead of Fear I

What does it mean to move forward in hope, not fear? When we are planning the direction of our lives, we often have motivation behind certain decisions or choices we are making. One of the motivations I have seen time and time again, and been victim to myself, is fear. Most often when fear is a motivator in creating your life - it's the fear of not becoming the thing you do not want to be. That's quite a jumble of words.

Let me give you an example of a client I have been working with. She grew up in a home with alcoholic parents. She was absolutely adamant that she would not become an alcoholic like her parents. As she created her life, her decisions were all based on her fear of having a life like her parents. The partner she chose, her job and even the way she raised her children were all done to avoid her greatest fear. Her day to day interactions all based on not becoming an alcoholic.

At 32 years of age she came into emergency, an alcoholic, the one thing she had feared the most. She was alone, as her marriage had failed, her children were not doing well and she had no supports in her life. As we talked, she began to realize how much this fear had ruled her life and choices and eventually led her to become what she feared most. We began to discuss what she really wanted in life - not what she did not want. AS she began to focus toward what she wanted, her outlook changed and she began to make decisions based on moving toward the things she wanted rather than avoiding the things she did not want.

Many times, it has been said, whatever you focus on is what you will get. Focus on what you really want instead of focusing on avoiding what you don't want.

Let's take 2009 Toward New Heights!

Lesley

Strategy #3 Putting the Past Behind You III

I've been away from my blogging for the past week or so. A minor injury kept me from the computer for a while. Each day I would think about the blog that I was missing or the things I was not keeping up with! This morning I awoke and realized a lesson I continue to learn - putting the past behind you is not a one time decision - it's something I do each and every day. Learning new ways of coping and moving forward is such an important choice to make every day. It certainly would have been easier for me to let things go - just one more day - but as they say - keep doing the same thing every time and expecting a new result keeps you stuck in the past.

So today while I'm feeling much better, I have a lot of housecleaning to catch up with!

Let's take 2009 Toward New Heights!

Strategy #3 Putting The Past Behind You II

Putting the past behind you is an ongoing process. It often takes daily effort to let those blocks, or alligators go. For me, awareness of my blocks was a real wake up call - taking an honest and open look at myself and then accepting what I see there has been a lifelong process and a continuing journey. I know that I have made many more strides over the past years as I have spent time developing myself so that I comfortable with what I see.

What I am saying is taking the time to do it is one step - the next part, as important, is spending time in self development and growth. Taking the time to learn, especially when it pertains to your own growth, is critical to moving forward. Reading self-development books, listening to inspirational CDs and DVD"S, life-coaching or therapy, or attending events with transformational speakers are important parts of allowing yourself to develop your self-image and have the courage to let go of the past and move forward. This amazing Braveheart Women's Community is another of those tools to assist you with self awareness and development. It is not just about spending time with yourself - it's about how you spend that time! Allow yourself to take some time in learning how to grow and move forward.

Let's Take 2009 Toward New Heights!

Lesley

PS. I am starting a list of self development books and tools in my community "Therapist Advice". If you would like some ideas on books to read or if you have some suggestions, please add them to my list in my community.

Strategy #3 - Put The Past Behind You Part I

I had a great conversation with a friend and mentor a few days ago. We discussed how important it is to let go of those things that are stopping us from moving forward. Things that are learned behaviors from past experiences that keep creeping into the present. These blocks, we referred to as alligators, are often big and challenging to wrestle with. So how do we go about putting the past behind us?

I believe that one of the most challenging steps with the process of putting the past behind you and moving forward is to discover what it is that is blocking your forward momentum. The one thing that can assist you with this is to make time for yourself, not just 5 or 10 minutes but blocks of time consistently, for yourself. Sometimes that is easier when you slot time for yourself whether to get out of your house, find a quiet place in your home or make an appointment with someone that can help devote the time for yourself, such as a therapist.

The first step in the process is to agree to be open, honest and, most importantly, accepting with yourself and what you find. Your past is part of you but it does not have to define who you are or where you are going! Once you can accept how your past has shaped you and the choices you have made, you can begin to define how it will or will not affect you at this moment and as you move forward.

Sometimes you have to wrestle with an alligator and win to feel the spur to move forward!

Let's take 2009 Toward New Heights!

GRATITUDE Part IV

Here's a tip for those days when you are finding gratitude a challenge - Make A Gratitude Box! It's very simple to make a Gratitude Box. Find a box, it can be a shoebox, a jewellery box, fancy or not. Each time you have a thought of something you are grateful for, write it on a strip of paper and put it in the box. Anytime you are feeling a challenge in finding things to be grateful for, pull open your gratitude box and start reading. In no time at all, you'll find yourself in an attitude of gratitude. When that happens, it's difficult not to add to your list of things to be thankful for!

Make one a Family Gratitude Box and spend time going through it together at the end of the week! What a great way to spend time together as a family and to work on building each other up as you strengthen your relationships!

Let's take 2009 Toward New Heights!

Lesley

I attended the Remembrance Day Service (Veteran's Day for Americans) at my eldest daughter's school in November. I was so impressed with the care and thought the school had put into it. So many times I have seen the same old thing and as generations go by and we are not so directly affected by war as in WWI and II, we tend to forget about the sacrifices that were made so that we can live in peace and freedom. I so appreciated the time they took with the grade 8 band music, it was lovely, and the drama club with their very poignent vignettes. I also appreciated that they brought November 11th and what it stands for into the present by posting the pictures of all of our Canadian soldiers who have died while peace keeping in Afganistan and reading each name in remembrance of their sacrifice, not only for our freedom but the freedom for the people of this world we share.

Thank You to all of you who have so selflessly given of yourselves and to your loved ones who have supported and grieved for you. I appreciate you.

I had a conversation with my Braveheart Sister and Accountability partner a while ago that reminded me how blessed we are to be a part of this amazing community in Braveheart Women Community. As I have contemplated the meaning of Remembrance and all of the brave soldiers who continue to fight for our freedom. "Lest We Forget", I was reminded that it is all of our duty to promote peace and freedom.

Braveheart Women Community is an amazing way to promote peace and it's a way all of us can make differences in women's lives around the world. We are about breaking down the boundaries and finding similarites between all of us - what better way to promote peace than woman connecting together in such a vision.

Proud to be a Braveheart Woman!

Lesley

GRATITUDE Part III

Gratitude comes in many different forms. One that is not often discussed in relaiton to our own mental health is gratitude toward others. It is important, not only to feel grateful to others but to show them your gratitude as well. A simple Thank You is often enough!

I attended a seminar on Human Resources, they had done a study on what was most important to people. At the top of the list, more than money, was recognition. What better way to recognize someone than by showing your appreciation for what they are doing?

For me it's about showing appreciation to those that are close to me and those that I have little or no contact with. People such as servers, cashiers, security, nurses, really anyone who assists you. A simple Thank You can, and often does, make the difference to that person to feel recognized for the work they are doing.

So what does this do for your emotional health? Think about what it feels like to know you have made a difference in someone else's life or made someone smile. I know I feel better knowing in some small way I have made someone feel special!

Let's take 2009 Toward New Heights!

Lesley

GRATITUDE - Finding things to be grateful can be a challenge at times. I know there have been times when it seems everything around me is in chaos. It is especially important during these times to focus on what you have in your life to be thankful for. Those things become your light at the end of the tunnel and often can turn the way you view your situation completely around. I have included a blog that I wrote in the coldest days of winter - it shows what I mean quite simply.

It sure is cold here today - 23 C with the wind chill. Although that isn't as cold as it has been this winter - we did get down to -45 C a week ago. We've had a pretty good winter this year - not too much cold weather and plenty of sun.

With this cold weather today - it started me thinking about being grateful. How it's hard to be grateful when we really don't like the situation we are in. Take for instance this cold weather, it's not so nice to be out in it but it does do its part to kill the viruses that have been so rampant this winter. It also encourages us to stay home and spend time withour loved ones - cuddled up by the fire. It also helps us to appreciate even more the times when it is much warmer.

So when you're having a hard time seeing things to be grateful for in your life - think of the things that you are not necessarily seeing or that the tough times help us to appreciate the great times even more. Maybe its about being grateful for the lessons you are learning. Whatever your situation there is always something you can find to be grateful - even in -45 weather!


Let's take 2009 Toward New Heights!

Lesley

GRATITUDE

How does gratitude help me toward emotional health? Well - it's very simple, really. When you are grateful for the things you have in your life your mind begins to focus on those things. In fact you begin to change your mindset to positive. Let me put it this way. When you think about all the things that are wrong in your life, you tend to find that is all you can see or think about. When you begin to focus your thoughts on what is positive or what you are thankful for, you begin to see more positive circumstances in your life. What you focus on is what you will see.

So how do you begin to give gratitude? Here are a few simple steps toward a life of gratitude. Start by writing down at least 3 things you are grateful for. Each day, add three more things to that list. It can be very simple or something very important to you. The important thing is that you start getting into the habit of consciously finding things to be grateful for everyday. Soon you will find that you are not able to keep it to 3 things - if you have more, absolutely add them to your list! Once you have become comfortable with adding 3 things everyday, try making lists of the important people in your life, whether it is your spouse or partner, your children, your parents or your siblings, anyone who is significant to you. Make a list, under their names, of what you are thankful for with that person. Regularly add to that list. You'll find that as you add to your gratitude list, you'll notice more and more positive things about that person. What a great way, not only to improve your mindset but also the relationships in your life.

Let's take 2009 Toward New Heights!

Lesley

PHYSICAL HEALTH - Healthy Eating
On my last day of discussing Physical Health, it seems fitting to discuss Healthy Eating. As I have written about in previous blogs, your body works very hard to keep itself in balance. Our eating habits can either assist our body or make it work harder. By providing the proper nutrition to our body, by eating in a healthy balanced way, we assist our bodies in keeping the right amount of nutrients in the right places. Again, when we assist our bodies, we don't expend so much emergy working on keeping that balance, instead we can use the extra energy toward our emotional well-being!

Here is an excerpt from one of my earlier blogs:

You`d be surprised what healthy eating can do for your emotional well-being. Getting the correct amounts of vitamins, minerals and nutrition is absolutely an integral step to emotional health. Not only physicially but when you chose to treat your body well, your mind knows that you are chosing to make yourself important.

Have you ever gone for many hours without eating. What do you feel like when your body is not nourished properly. For me, I get very cranky! The best thing to do is eat. Now I know it seems easy to grab the first thing that is available - often junk food. This may appear to satiate your hunger but in the end your body and your mind knows you have fed it junk - and - often reacts. Whether by upset stomach, digestive system upset, bloated feeling or just feeling badly that you gave into that craving. Try making some healthy snacks that are easy to grab. There is plenty of information on the internet on healthy eating both the US and Canadian government also have nutritional guides.

Pay attention to what you`re feeding your body - feed it healthy - your mind will thank you!

PHYSICAL HEATH - Physical Activity

Becky nailed it right on the head!

One of the most important aspects of physical health is Physical Activity. There have been many studies and a great deal of research into how being consistently physically active promote emotional health.

Any physical activity is good whether you are running, walking, weight training, taking fitness classes or even using fitness programs from home. The important thing is to keep up with it and be consistent to begin to feel the awesome effects.

It is sometimes a challenge to fit fitness into your life. I know, a few years ago I realized I was 35 lbs overweight and made many excuses why I could not fit activity into my busy schedule with three children. I finally took a look at the diseases I was susceptable to, that my mother and grandmother both have, to make activity and exercise a priority. I did not want to pass diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol onto my children - not when I have the choice. Really it was thinking about my children that finally helped me make the decision to start. So start I did - slowly with walking everyday - then working myself to adding strength training and yoga. It was challenging at first but once I made it a priority, I found that I was able to find the time to keep active. What a difference it has made to my energy and not to mention how I feel about myself!

The thing with keeping active is it not only phsyically gets your body in order and therefor helping your emotional health. Every time you participate in activity, you feel better about yourself knowing that you are putting yourself as a priority. Putting yourself a priorty also tells your brain that you feel like you are important - how's that for a jolt to your self worth!

Remember - start slowly. It may even be helpful to find a trainer to help you start or depending on where you are health wise - ensure you are being supervised medically. The key is to START!

Let's take 2009 Toward New Heights!

PHYSICAL HEALTH


The first strategy I want to share is about physical health. I believe many people do not realize how important maintaining your physical health is to maintaining your emotional health! Your body works very hard to keep itself in balance, making sure all the right chemicals and nutrients are going to the right places, keeping a normal temperature and ensuring all your organs are functioning the way they are supposed to. When we take care of ourselves physically with healthy eating and physical activity, we boost our bodies ability to maintain that important balance. When the body is in balance, we have more energy to give to our emotional health.


If we are not paying attention to our physical health then our body will do it for us. Think of all the extra energy your body is using just to keep in balance. Now look at it from another way. Think of all the energy you will have to use toward things you enjoy when you are assisting your body by taking care of your physical health. What a better way to start working toward emotional health than by taking care of ourselves physically and enjoying the benefits from all that extra energy!


Let's take 2009 Toward New Heights!

I have heard the saying, more than once, 2009 Is Divine. I believe that is true and what better way to celebrate 2009 than to plan for Emotional Health.

Over the next 9 weeks, I will share nine strategies for emotional health in 2009. Keep tuned in everyday as I share, not only the strategies, but the action steps as well for each of the nine steps toward emotional and mental health.

These nine strategies include physical health, gratitude, putting the past behind you, moving forward with hope instead of fear, taking a break, letting go of perfectionism, feeding your mind, become solution oriented and discovering what you truly want.

Journey with me, toward your own emotional health, as I share one of the nine strategies each week over the next nine weeks