i am so saddened today by learning of the death of a good friend who i had not been in touch with for several years. the last time we were in touch was when both of our daughters were graduating from high school in june 2009. she did not share with me at that time that she was living with breast cancer, as a matter of fact, there were several times we spoke over the years that she did not share this with me. i guess she felt with the distance between us, there was no reason to share. i wish i had known, i wish i had been a better friend, i wish i could have done something. i had been trying to get in touch with her for several months because she had been on my mind so strongly recently. so today i googled her to see if i could locate her. i was shocked when her obituary was the first link to pop up. she lost her battle with breast cancer in december 2009.
we had been neighbors for a few years. her children were a 10 and 8 when i started my family. then when i found out i was pregnant for the second time, she discovered she was pregnant too...so we went through that pregnancy, childbirth and the first couple years of our daughters' lives as neighbors. our daughters, laura and diana (we called her doodle), were born within a days of each other, my laura being late and mary's diana being early. not too long after that she moved back to louisiana and we kept in touch by phone (email was not as common in the early 90s as it is today) so phone and snail mail. we both got busy, both were raising children, then she became a grandmother. our children grew up, we both got divorced, both tried to find new relationships, both worked to support ourselves and our children, sending the occasional birthday card and christmas card (she always sent me one, even though she was jewish,lol)
she was one of the smartest, sharpest, strongest, most loving women i know. she made me want to step it up and be a better person. i loved her sense of style and her self confidence. i was with her when her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer and we cried and worked through that together. i don't know if that friend survived or not.
mary was so thoughtful and attentive as a friend, after my daughter was born, i went on an intense workout and diet program and lost weight i had wanted to lose. mary bought me a belt to celebrate the "waistline" i had regained after having two 10 pound babies in less than 2 years. that's a true friend, only mary would have thought of that, that was how she was.
she made incredible ice coffee and had the best new orleans accent. she had grown up with money and was use to living the good life, and even though the 80s had not been good to her family real estate business, she knew how to adapt and still live the good life "on a budget."
i am just rambling now with my thoughts and memories of my friend who died way too young at 58 years of age. she had so much life to live yet and so many people who cared about her.i decided to look up her beloved "man" and discovered that he too passed away march 7 of this year.
i've had some struggles and challenges of my own over these past few years, personal, financial and relationship related. but none of what i've gone through compares to the struggle my friend had, and i wasn't aware of it or there for her. i need to rethink my life and my priorities, look at how i am spending my time and who i am spending it with and make some decisions about what is important. this is truly an eye opening experience for me and a real wake up call for my life.
mary, my friend, you are missed and will always be a part of my heart and my mind. i will strive to be the woman you always saw me as and will look to you for support and guidance from beyond. i love you and i miss you my friend.
mb
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