Penny's Blog

Not so long ago, I felt like I was going, going, going. So much to do, so little time. I would wake up feeling overwhelmed with my to-do list and the day had just begun. It's only Monday but I wish it was Friday.........you know the feeling! By nature, I like to keep busy and have a hard time sitting still. I guess you could say that even if I finished my to-do list for the day, I'd find something else to do! I like to accomplish things and feel like I am doing something productive with my time. Through the years, I've realized how important it is to STOP. Why am I moving so fast? What am I rushing for?

It doesn't matter how much we do or accomplish in life if you don't allow yourself to "experience" it. Have you ever noticed how each time you reach a goal, there is another one immediately following? What would you say if I told you that your goal is not what you produce? It's actually the feeling that you get once you reach your goal. Why not have that feeling now? We don't have to wait for things to happen to feel good. Enjoying the steps along the way can be even more rewarding than the end result!

I can't help but notice more and more, how busy the world is. My personal journey as a coach has opened my eyes to "experiencing" life, opposed to pushing thru it. Modern technology is great in so many ways. A great example is communities like these that allow us to connect with people all over the world, but what about the people right in front of you?

When I walk around the stores or outside, I can't help but notice how many people are texting, talking on the phone, or rushing by. I think it's great how we can connect with family and friends whenever we need to, but this stops you from noticing life around you. Take a moment to smile and acknowledge the people around you. You never know the impact it can have on your life. I'd like to share an experience with you:

I was a preschool teacher during my life coach training. I loved the children and the school was beautiful but it wasn't a positive work environment.
I found myself more and more affected by the negative attitudes and tried my best to counteract the negativity, but it didn't work. I am an empath and too much negativity can bring me down rather quickly. I knew that I found my passion as a coach, but still needed to pay my bills in the process. I started to question where I was in life. I wasn't sure whether or not I should pursue coaching full-time or continue to work full-time and coach part-time. I've always struggled financially, even with my education
(because of the career field I chose-social work). I prayed often, asking for guidance, searching for clarity. I'll never forget this day:

I decided to leave for my lunch break. Usually I stayed in the classroom to monitor the children while they slept, but something was telling me to get some fresh air. I went to the diner right down the street. I sat in the stool area. While I was eating, a man walked in. I couldn't help but notice him. He was well-dressed, hat and all. I looked at him and smiled, then continued to eat. He sat two stools away from me and I noticed from the corner of my eye how he continued to stare at me, smiling. Just to clarify, he wasn't flirting at all. This was different.......When I finished my lunch, I went to the register to pay. The manager came over to me and said that the gentleman in the hat is paying for your lunch. I was shocked to say the least; we didn't even speak to each other. I looked at the man and said, "Thank you, but you don't have to pay my bill."
He looked at me and I will never forget the feeling that came over me, he said, "Stay who you are." In that moment I knew, this man was a messenger. I went back to work with such a sense of peace and clarity. It was amazing. When I went home that afternoon, I walked up to my front door and was suddenly surrounded by white birds. There is no doubt in my mind that God spoke to me that day. After my life coach training, I followed my intuition to leave my job and pursue my own coaching practice, knowing I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

If I can leave you with anything.......Stop, breathe, and open your eyes to your surroundings. Take the time to "be" a part of your life and experience the people in it. Life will only pass you by if you let it. Take care of yourselves. Much love

"Making time in your life for the things that matter allows you to experience exactly that" ~Penny

Each one of us has a journey. Our journeys will teach us many things. Some lessons the same, some different. I believe I am fortunate to have learned the importance in loving yourself just the way you are, early on. I didn't have many boyfriends as a young girl. After high school, I started dating. I was twenty when I met my son's father(now my ex-husband). I still believe today that we were meant to meet the way we did. He was sooo cute, charming,
and the best part was-he liked me. I stuck to him like glue. We dated for years and there was a period of time when we broke up, but eventually we got back together. I know I was young and still had a lot to learn, but I still remember how devastated I felt when we first broke up. I realize how much I placed my self-worth in his hands. I did care for him deeply. He was my first love. I missed him when we were apart and at the time it felt like my world ended. Years later we got married and had our beautiful son, Jon. I thought, this is a dream come true. I'm marrying the man of my dreams. How lucky am I! Like all of us, you grow and learn. I was growing away from him. We cared about each other,
but were going down two very different paths in life. It doesn't surprise me that we eventually got a divorce. At the time, I was devastated again. I didn't want my son to come from a broken home, but I knew it had to be done. I had no choice but to pick myself up and do what I had to do to take care of my son. Having a man in my life wasn't a priority anymore. Things were not easy. At the time I was going to school and working, but I couldn't pay rent by myself. I moved back home with my mom and grandma. I left school to work full-time. This was probably one of the hardest transition periods in my life but it forced me to look at who I was and what I wanted in life. I was single for some time and really wasn't looking for a boyfriend, but eventually I dated someone again. The funny thing is, my twin sister
dated his brother! This was too good to be true. The four of us were always together. It felt so perfect and my sister's boyfriend was like a brother to me.
My twin was with her boyfriend for 5 years and she thought they were going to get married.

One day it all came to an end. My boyfriend and I started to have difficulties and we broke up. Only a few months after, his brother broke up with my sister.
Not only did I feel the hurt from another long relationship ending(not to mention the loss for my son) but I felt like I lost my brother. Again, I had no choice but to pick myself up and keep going. I went through my own grieving and healing process. I also learned so much. I realized that every person that comes in and out of our life is for a reason. It may be for a day, a month, a year, or a lifetime. I believe now that a relationship ends when whatever you are supposed to gain from it, is gained. When it ends, it's simply time to allow something new into your life. It has been five years and my sister is still single. I don't believe she has completely healed from her ex. She had gone on dates, but believes that because of her legs, these guys don't call her back. After this being the case multiple times, I started to get mad for her, saying to myself, "Why can't she just meet a nice guy who can see who she is"? As quickly as I get angry for her, I know that her journey is not mine. I have to believe that she just hasn't met the right guy yet........God has a plan for her.

Last Saturday my sister went on a lunch date. The night before she called me to ask me if I thought she should tell this guy about her disability. You see, she worries so much about this. She truly believes that every guy who meets her is turned off by this. I told her that I can't tell her what to do, she has to do what feels right to her. She decided to be open and honest with him. She called me during the date. She was so excited, saying how he said that he didn't care about her legs, he only cares about the person. They hung out for a really long time. It was great to hear her so happy! I talked to her yesterday and was hoping to hear good news. She was extremely down because he hasn't called her since. She is afraid he is not going to. I was disappointed for her but it made me realize how much she defines her self-worth by others. There is nothing wrong with her wanting to share her life with someone, most women want this, but you have to be ok with yourself in the process. This really comes down to my sister accepting who she is, including her legs. Until she can do this, she will never be whole. She has to do this in her time, not mine, but she has actually described herself as a "freak" and this breaks my heart. She is so talented and going to Nashville to record a demo, but cannot see any of her blessings.
She can only see what she doesn't have. I'm sharing this with you because I know how damaging this can be. When you love yourself, it shows. It allows love to enter your life continually.

Honor the love you have for yourself by acknowledging who you are, where you have been, and where you are going. Remember, no matter where you are in your life, you are doing your best!

Fall in love with yourself, be gentle- What does "loving yourself" mean to you?

Stop criticizing yourself- What qualities do you have that you really like?

Acknowledge your efforts- What does this tell you about yourself?

Let go of worry, have faith- What can you do to improve the situation?

Trust who you are- Have confidence in your abilities, along with your ability to make changes when necessary.

Forgive yourself, it's not your fault- Every decision we make gives us an opportunity to learn something. What do you need to forgive yourself for?

Be honest and truthful with you- Embrace how you feel, don't hide it. Your feelings are an expression of who you are.

Nurture your passions and dreams- Expressing yourself fully will help you embrace who you are completely. How can you make your passions and dreams a reality?

Relax, Relax, Relax- What relaxes you? How can you add more relaxation into your life?

Take care of yourself- Honoring your health allows you to live a happier, more fulfilling life. What does "good health" mean to you?

With practice, acts of self-care will become a part of your daily life, improving the quality of the relationship you have with yourself. Take care of yourselves, Much love

"Living the life you love begins with the love you have for yourself"~Penny

Spring is my favorite season. Flower buds begin to open, small animals that hibernate come out of their burrows, birds fly home again, and the bees and the butterflies appear to gather nectar from blossomed flowers. The cold air fades, bringing warmth and gentle breezes to life again. It is a time for new life and new beginnings. All things must come to an end for the rebirth phase to begin.

For a garden to grow and bloom, you have to pull all the weeds, cultivate the ground, and plant new seeds. Plants will grow and flowers will bloom with continued watering and care. How can you apply this to your own life? What would you like to renew in your life? Many of us are tired, anxious, and stressed-out and would love to feel energized again. With the right amount of nurturing, you can balance your mind, body, and spirit. You must begin with a clean slate.

So, How do you wipe the slate clean and begin the renewal process?

1. Begin by becoming self-aware. Recognize what is holding you back. Find your weeds! What areas of your life are they affecting? Once you recognize the source of a problem, you can begin to fix it. You can't control everything around you but you can control how you let things affect you.

2. Get to the source of the weeds in your life. What is missing? Rid yourself of negative energy, patterns, and habits. We carry stuff through life and every time we attempt to take a step forward we feel pulled back again. When you release negativity from your life, a weight will be lifted, feeling renewed and re-energized.

3. Reignite your inner light to begin a more positive life. Focus on self-awareness and setting small, manageable goals. You will begin to feel motivated, stronger, and more confident.

4. Nuture your light with love and care, allowing it to shine. Tend to your needs, reminding yourself that this is necessary for you to grow and prosper. Remember, pull out the weeds as needed and enjoy your life!

"You can live a lifetime without growing or live one day fully grown"~P

Last week was very gloomy with all of the rain! I started thinking about what it is like when you feel like there is a dark cloud hanging over you. How do you chase the clouds away when you are feeling down? There are many reasons why we feel down. It could be because of a job, relationship, finances, health issues, family conflicts, exhaustion, worry, stress, etc. Many times we don't even know why we feel down, we just do. During these times it is important to remember that things usually happen for a reason, even if we don't understand the reason right away. Even when things seem gloomy, you have control over how much you allow your feelings to take over. Allow yourself to experience your feelings then move forward.

Think about what you would like to do with your life. Write it down. Push yourself to do one more thing daily than you usually would. It feels good to accomplish tasks. This will boost your energy level.

Eliminate as much drama as you can from your life. Don't overanalyze situations. Just accept them as they are. Too much thinking about everything is draining. You need to preserve your energy to feel good.

Cope with issues in life by simplifying them, breaking things down into smaller parts(one step at a time). Organize your thoughts. Journal them if it helps.

Every time a negative thought appears, counteract it with a positive statement/affirmation. Be gentle with yourself. Everything you experience in life contributes to who you are and who you want to be!

Much love

"Life is not about where you are; it's about how you grow"~Penny

Life was hard from the very beginning. My sister and I were born with cerebral palsy, only affecting our legs, but my sister's condition is more severe than mine. We were born only two pounds each and my mom was told by the doctors that we wouldn't make it through the night. She sat up praying with her rosary beads all night. The next morning the doctors told her they didn't understand what happened, but we were going to be ok. She always told us that we were her "miracle" babies. I know now that my life is a gift, but growing up I didn't feel that way. My mom and dad divorced when I was little and she moved in with my grandmother with my brother, sister, and I. My grandma worked and my mom took care of us. My mom always struggled financially, but she did the best she could to take care of us. I remember laughing and playing as a child, but as I grew older, the laughter stopped. When my sister and I started school, I realized we were different than most kids. We were fortunate to be able to attend public school, but we were the only disabled students there. There were challenges and many kids laughed and stared at us, but after a while we made friends and adjusted. I always got good grades in school and even got the lead role as a Cabbage Patch Kid(remember them?!) in the school play. My sister and I loved to sing since we were little. Our music teacher sent us to an audition for "Plays in Park" - I'll never forget this day. It was my sister's turn to sing and as soon as she walked out on stage, they told her to leave. She wasn't even given the chance to sing. It was at that moment I felt like "life is unfair." I didn't even want to sing after that. I decided in that moment that any dream of mine to become a singer was gone. Things just got harder and harder in middle school and high school. My sister and I really didn't fit in. We had some friends but not many. My sister actually left school during our junior year of high school to be home-schooled.
We were twins but people used to say to me, "I know that you are Penny because you walk better than your sister." I started to feel guilty that I had it easier than her, but yet, I still had my own struggles.
If I went out my family would say, "Aren't you taking your sister with you?" After a while, I didn't know who I was anymore. I became angry, depressed, and wanted to be anyone else but me. Life at home was hard too. By this time, my mom had my two other sisters. My sister and I really didn't get the emotional support we needed.

My graduation day was a defining moment for me.
The school told my sister that she wasn't allowed to participate in the graduation march because she couldn't walk like the rest of the class. To make a long story short(details for another time) my sister stayed home on our graduation day. How was I supposed to be happy knowing that my sister was home crying? If I knew then what I know now, I would have said something on behalf of my sister. You see, I didn't have a voice because I was ashamed and embarrassed of who I was.

From that day forward I wanted to become a support system for others and help others who had difficulty helping themselves. I pursued a career in social work. I worked with many different populations in need. After a while, I realized how blessed I was. I really didn't have it hard at all. I worked with people who suffered with schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder,
severe depression, autism, dementia, OCD, etc. To me, these people were beautiful and I felt blessed knowing them. I was reminded daily to not take my life for granted. It was such a great feeling knowing that my clients were waiting to see me daily. As time went I had this "inner" feeling that I was meant to do more. I discovered life coaching and knew that this was it! For the first time in my life things made sense. For the longest time I felt like my sister and I were dealt a "bad hand." Now I know that this wasn't the case at all. Everything that I went through happened exactly as it should have. I wouldn't be who I am today if it weren't for my past experiences.
I also realize that I am so much more than my physical limitations. My soul is the core of who I am and will never change. The reason why I am sharing my story with you is for you to embrace who you are today. There are no mistakes. Everything you go through in life is for a reason. You may not understand the reason just yet, but the answers will come. You don't have to like your past, but you must accept it in order to move forward. We all have imperfections, but they do not define who we are. Only you define who you are and who you want to be. Take care of yourselves. Much love

"There is no need to be anything more than who you already are"~Penny

There is new life around us now. Flowers are blooming, the grass is green, and the birds are singing again. I awaken to the sun shining through
the windows and the sound of lawn mowers running, reading to embrace nature once again. The month of May celebrates motherhood and the gifts that being a mother brings. Mother's Day reminds us to appreciate that special person who loves, nurtures, and guides us through life. A mother's nurturing role allows us to grow, develop, and flourish. As we grow older and no longer need our mothers to take care of us, we too often forget to nurture ourselves. What areas of your life need nurturing? When was the last time you felt nurtured?

May is also Mental Health Month, focusing on raising awareness about mental health disorders and wellness for all. I couldn't help but think about the increased amount of negativity that surrounds us daily from the news, media, and society. We want and hope for a bright future but because of hard times and economic uncertainty, we are left feeling depressed and worried about what tomorrow brings. How do you thrive and stay positive during such challenging times? How can you stay focused on your goals even when they seem out of reach? Focusing on what you cannot control does not change anything and only uses up valuable energy that could be used on something productive. We can't predict the future but we can predict how we choose to handle it.

During this recession there are challenges, changes, and choices we are going to have to make;
many of them will not be easy but we can and will survive. What would you say if I asked you what your definition of survival is? For me, it's more than just having a place to live, food, clothes, and money to pay my bills. It also includes my ability to pick myself up when I fall, use my skills and strengths, know when to ask for help, and stay true to myself in the process.

Change is scary. When you feel like you have no control over what is happening around you, anxiety and panic sets in, making it hard to remain upbeat. You will not be able to alter what already is but what if your thoughts alter how you experience "what is"?
The way you perceive your life is the way it will stay. Think about what is NOT working for you right now. Why not try a new approach? Here are some questions to think about:

How happy do you think you were when the economy was doing well?
How would you describe yourself before the recession, positive or negative?
What were some of the major stressors in your life before the recession and how different are they now?
What changes have impacted your life the most and why?
What is one thing that has actually changed for the better now?

Some of you may have a hard time answering the last question, believing that things have only changed for the worst. I am going to challenge you to continue to question it until you find that one thing!
Think about it.......Change is necessary for new opportunities and possibilities.

"Possibilities are everywhere, but will only appear to those who believe" ~Penny