radical ramblings and thoughts of a southern girl
Posted Feb 28, 2012 07:16 PM
"I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating
around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time."
from the movie Forrest Gump
I've been thinking today and watching people. People moving all around, running into each other, trying to avoid each other, pretending we don't see each other,
all moving around on this tiny speck of a planet we call earth, living out what we call
Life. I wonder, is this the providential master plan
do we float around with the wind underneath our spread out feathers,
gliding along on a breeze in some happen-stance kind of way where hope rises up to meet our fears to allow us to meet each new encounter as it comes to us.
I'm like Forrest
I don't know.
I used to believe in the Master Plan,
all drawn out in some Record book.
I'm not sure I beileve that now---believe that we are just mere checker pieces that some bearded guy in the sky moves in a random amusement like fashion.
I'm not sure it is all accidental-like
but perhaps a bit of both all rolled up
in a big bundle known as life that moves along, rolls along, occuring all around us...
Why such deep thoughts?
Perhaps, it was part of that Master Plan
just mere happenstance that I was standing where I was standing today...
whatever it was
it invited me to think about what all this meant...
I'm still not quite sure
don't have it figured out,
if I tell you the tale of my day,
you'll have some thoughts to share
whether our road map is all planned out or
if each new encounter rises to greet us
we have the choice to say Hello-new occasion, nice to see you!
or hide our eyes and move on by....
so here is what happened.
this my tale of the today....
I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up some medications on the way home.
There was a line and so I stood there,
watching and listening to life all around me.
When from behind me,
"I like your head cover" said a man with a deep voice.
"Why thanks--I don't have hair, I've been getting chemo for cancer."
"Well I'll pray for you," said the man.
"I found out a couple of months ago and found out yesterday,
I am in remissions, Praise God. God is Good!
"all the time." said the man.
"Let me have a high five for Jesus!" said the woman and
I heard the sound of their hands slap.
I began to think
wonder as I listened to their continuing conversation,
"When are people gonna realize that everything is part of the Divine plan....blah blah..."
and I left their conversation.....and
I began to think...
think about what they were saying...
"I used to believe this...used to embody this....but is it true???
Is that how God works?
some are healed and others left to die,
planned remission or put out of commission.
I listened some more as the gentleman insisted that the woman go in front of him---I was of course dying to turn around and stare at them, to see her hat, to see what these strangers who met in the line were all about.....
They continued their God talk and
I went off into my own world,
thinking about the Mystery that I believe undergirds us......
the world turns
life goes on
night comes and the sun rises
wonder around like little ants
hunting,running into each other,
over the top of each other
sometimesright through each other...
I don't know...
don't know how it works...
you know what
I don't need to know...
my role is this...
to learn what I can
as I journey along,
to connect along the way.
planned or unplanned
controlled or random
Life moves forward
sometimesstrangers meet in a line at the pharmacy
a radical rambler to
go on a
she is most thankful
on this Tuesday night.
Posted Feb 27, 2012 05:55 AM
"Do You See What I See?"
Yesterday, Big Daddy, Off Color Daughter and I took a walk.
I was not really in the mood and wanted to stay in bed where I'd been for half the day watching 'tv'
and catching up on some rest from overworking last week.
I'm glad I was persuaded because the warm sun coupled with the brisk wind
awoke my senses.
As we walked, I realized that life was waking up all around me.
The bare trees that have been standing stark against the blue sky,
are waking--- one can see as their tiny potentiality springs in
little tiny buds at the end of their fingers, so tiny one almost misses them,
but so intriguing to examine aclose.
Are we like the trees,
do we grow tiny buds of potential, wrapped up at the ends,
waiting for just the right "weather", temperature, soil conditions?
As we walked, Off Color Daughter, put in her ipod and pretended not to notice us as we headed toward the local grocery to pick up a few items. Big Daddy of course would be the strong man who carried them home in my nerdy "co-op" bag.
Life popped all around me,
causing me to wipe a bit of my lazy day sleep from my eyes.
The purple of the Crocus bud,
was pushing its' tiny head from out of the soil
heading toward the sky about to break open in spectacular violet to splash the dried up grass from summers past with a bit of color. Up ahead a bit further,
yellow daffodils were at work doing the same. And I wondered if somewhere deep inside my fearful spirit---Can this frozen soul awaken too---just like the view of nature all around---Can I shoot forth in potentiality or will I choose to stay in my safe place of hibernation?
Do you see what I see?
waking up all around me
i have to wonder?
As I beginning to wake up from my long spiritual hibernation?
Will I soon be stretching my arms toward the sky?
Will I spread my petals far so that I can capture more of the Creators Love Rays?
Do you see what I see?
warmth beaming into the brisk cool air,
springing forth all around
inviting us---inviting me---
to get up out of bed
the wonder of it all.
head out into it this morning
Do you see what I see?
and it is a good thing.
Have a wonderful Monday...
hugs and blessings...
The radical rambler from the south
Posted Feb 26, 2012 07:57 AM
"One of the most satisfying experiences I know is fully to appreciate an individual in the same way I appreciate a sunset. When I look at a sunset...I don't find myself saying, 'Soften the orange a little more on the right hand corner, and put a bit more purple along the base, and use a little more pink in the cloud color...' I don't try to control a sunset. I watch it with awe as it unfolds."
Slowly on the horizon,
the movement of an artist begins,
behind the clouds,
blue sky begins to mix with rays,
colors move with wonder and creates a
master piece filled with moments
a new day,
The sun rises,
the sun sets,
colors roll over time,
mixing and mingling and creating
at any given
we stand there
on holy ground,
be it tile in the kitchen,
grass beneath our toes,
wooden plank or sand,
our mouths fall open,
our hearts pound
begins as we watch
the work of
an Unseen Artist,
create a unique work in time,
splashes and movement and shadow,
the sun rises,
the sun sets,
in the middle of it
waiting for us to see and experience
to capture our attention
cause us to acknowledge
wonder of creation.
Worship in the grandest fashion,
soft spiritual breeze on my face,
Just for me...
well that's what I think...
no that is what I believe..
and you and you and you...
the Master Artist
to leave the day behind
and awaken to a blank palate
where hope rises to meet fear
love mixes with anxiety
life moves forward
inviting us to paint a new day.
May we all use our time and our tools
share our gifts and color the world,
one palate at a time.
May the Sacredness of the Day,
meet all of
Ordinariness of our lives
be changed for the better because of it.
May it be so...
for all of us.
the radical rambler
Posted Feb 23, 2012 05:30 AM
Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.John Ruskin
Many of you will not believe me, I'm sure,
but the older I get,
I've come to believe that life is good
even when it feels bad.
I mean the alternative to living is definitely a much less desirable idea, don't you agree?
I prefer trying to be fully
awake and alive,
experience it all
it does come rushing at us
all kinds of weather
for the most part,
come out of the storm,
brush off the snow,
dry from the rain,
cool off from the hot sun.
Life is a wonderful adventure
meant to be lived
with eyes awake,
There is no right or wrong way to experience
just your way
It's all good.
Life that is!!!!
If you don't believe me,
close your eyes and go deep within,
find that little cavern of hope and
wallow in it.
May life come rushing at us this morning
with what ever kind of weather
may we experience it--the Mystery--
it all its fullness..
Have a great day
blessings and hugs,
Posted Feb 22, 2012 05:25 AM
“You are dust, and to dust you shall return”
I'll be damned if it is not another liturgical day--one of my favorites,
Ash Wednesday. There was nothing I didn't love about being a leader in the church when this day came. I don't know why..why it is that it is the one day, I miss more than any other about not being a participant or a minister in a church.
There was something that rattled my bones every single time the night came forward. Congregants would gather for a brief service.
My colleague and I would don our attire, prepare our little clear bowls of ashes---we'd mix pre-burned ashes purchased from the Christian bookstore into the bowl and add just the right amount of olive oil with them, stir with our fingers and then try to get the remnants from our nails and fingers before the service began.
We'd always hide wet paper towels behind the table, so we could clean up before shaking the folks out the door.
There is a fragility to this day...it reminds all of us that life is short,
that it comes at us at a fast pace never knowing what will happen next and each precious moment----is ours to make of our life..good or bad. I loved making the sign of the cross on foreheads as they would come forward, old wrinkled foreheads, pretty made-up face forehead, worried foreheads, and fresh baby foreheads
all lined up,
all touched with the same plan
what is in-between
well that is where we get a chance to
bloom into the authentic creation
that the Universal Love
birthed us for.
I'd stare in their eyes,
knowing and realizing
that the same time
i may have stood at their casket,
by their bedside
or held them as they sobbed
rejoiced at new life being birthed into the world.
My Mama always does say as she ages and her friends become sick
many facing life threatening illness...
"well we all die a little bit every day.....some of us just do it quicker than others"
she's right you know...
we all die
The death mister comes at us,
with grabby fingers
to rob us of our place on the world.
that is what makes each moment
much a blessing...even the bad moments we think will be the death of us.
I miss my robe today,
the greasy feel of ashes and oil,
the stiffness of the day where folks
come but really don't want to think or talk about it--death that is---
I miss staring into their eyes,
touching their skin
connecting on a God-plane for just a moment in time
where the Spirit stands time still.
On this day
this day that reminds us that
We come from dust
to dust we shall return...
or as my mama always says...
"we all die a bit everyday".
grab hold of that thought
and let this be the one
that we allow the Mystery to
pull us forward,
bloom us out
authentic self we are.
From Dust we came......
To Dust we shall return..........
that is the truth for every human being on the face of our planet.
think about it
claim this new day of being alive.
the radical rambler
Posted Feb 21, 2012 05:43 AM
“A mountain is composed of tiny grains of earth. The ocean is made up of tiny drops of water. Even so, life is but an endless series of little details, actions, speeches, and thoughts. And the consequences whether good or bad of even the least of them are far-reaching.”
Tossed, crashed, broken, bruised,
the remnants of life upon the wet sand
rolls back out to the genesis of where it began.
My feet sink deep into the wet sand,
water coming up from somewhere below,
moving over my toes, my feet,
it disappears covering me with tiny specks of a piece of it
there I stand,
to that which rolls from somewhere,
covered with pieces of former life,
ground and crashed and broken
coming from above,
Hebrew people called it the nephesh--or the life-force-
I sank my toes deeper,
held out my hands,
felt the sun hit my face and the wind blow my hair
I open my eyes,
look around and
scattered along the sea shore,
tiny remnants of something
yet broken and banged but yet so beautiful....
I pick them in my hand,
let the water rush over them to clean them.
While the former life
no longer needed their hard shell for protection and life,
I wondered if perhaps the Universe
had brought it to me
to save me...
save me from
my broken dreams and former life pieces that didn't work out the way I planned,
I carried them with me,
felt them in my hand,
lifted them to my ear
the fuzzy sound of days
where hope drifted to me from
another time and place
reaches out and taps on my psyche.
I hold them close,
pick them up when I need
Life is precious
in all its states,
it is worth
taking another step,
holding on for another minute,
believing in that which I can't always feel,
for one more day.
Time drifts along,
wait for that which I don't know what I wait,
in the in between,
I try to capture the beauty
in all it's goodness,
intense sunrises and sunsets,
the moon rising and falling and glowing.
it rolls to us,
takes us with it,
delivers us to the shore
time and time again.
Don't be afraid
to hold on
to let the next wave
take you where it will.
May we all
feel the healing power
the baptismal waters of genesis
be born afresh
and full of hope..
just like the shells that crashed against the shore
are worth being saved
over and over and over again
I will add
thanks be! to that one.
Blessings to You!
Posted Feb 19, 2012 05:54 AM
“There is some kind of a sweet innocence in being human- in not having to be just happy or just sad- in the nature of being able to be both broken and whole, at the same time.”
― C. Joy Bell
Off-color daughter was in the emergency room this weekend. She seems to be passing a kidney stone that we've known she has.
I feel helpless when my children hurt. I want to band-aid their scrape or wound. I want to immediately apply a healing balm so that they are free from pain.
no human is free from it.
It comes in waves
that rise from the oceanic tides,
splashing in angry bellows,
then rolling out leaving foam and shells and other debris behind.
in the same tension
It just seems we notice the pain more,
feel it deeper and more intensely.
for one moment,
to really experience the wonder of life,
in the same manner I feel my pain.
Perhaps if I'd train myself to
do just that,
stay present in all the moments,
I'd learn to feel it all on a deeper experiential realm.
When we were in the ER, I felt a rage,
wanting my child to come first.
I could feel the tension of the staff
moving in tiny frantic waves,
trying to care on a personal level for each child.
They did a really good job at doing so,
I felt my selfish,
take care of my little corner of the world,
territorial mama lion
come out in me.
Most often I was controlled,
but I didn't want to be.
I listened as babies cried
in painful sobs
I watched a child and her frantic parents be wheeled on a stretcher with paramedics attending her oxygen level and still I wanted mine taken care of first.
Interesting how sitting in a different chair,
a different view
teach me something about myself.
I am empathetic to an unhealthy level,
I feel others pain,
sense their shift in vibrational energy
most often I'm tuned into the world.
my precious baby---
the world ceased
I could feel my frantic pace
for relief to come.
are a mystery
filled with our
whose colors and flavors change
as quickly as the tide changes.
Off Color daughter is feeling some better
as I sit here in my comfortable but dusty home,
of all the mom's and dad's out there
for help for their own pain
I send a prayer into the Universe--
for calmer tides
the dark circles of worry
underneath the mom's eyes
who watches her Ethiopian children
sees their stomach swell from starvation,
I feel the tremble of mom's and dad's who
stand at their child's bedside
waiting for the tide to
bring them a miracle from somewhere unknown.
I can feel the emptiness and brokenness
of the parents who
search for their missing children
dark night of the soul
covers the entirety of those parents
standing at a casket,
mourning for moments they will never have
pray for the whole human race
offer up my energy
on this morning
hope for whoever might need it
this Sabbath morning.
so if you do,
hold out your hands to the Universe and expect
what you need.
May all of you feel
the energy I have sent forth
may it bring each of you
exactly what you need.
Blessings and Love to you,
The Radical Rambler
from the South!
Posted Feb 16, 2012 07:13 PM
There is nothing more stimulating, more worthy of actualization, than the desire to change the world for the better. That is indeed each person's mission. You begin by working in that area of activity that is your own unique one, with your own life and activities. You begin in the corner of an office, or on the assembly line, or in the advertising agency, or in the kitchen. You begin where you are.
< div align="center">Jane Roberts
I love watching people. They are a mystery and I find that I am constantly at work trying to understand what it is that makes us humans "tick".
We walk around, products of our environments,
confined by what we've been told we can become and within the boundaries that we have built around us over time.
The truth is this:
We all have a mission.It as unique as the combination
of amino acids that create the frame of who we are--so alike but yet so different in so many ways.
I wonder what might happen in the world,
if we all lived out
of a place of actualization with an intent of
changing the world and shifting it toward goodness and love and mercy.
I suspect,if we all did this
believed in the missionwe were set upon,
there would be no more war
we would all be more focused on
making sure everyone had a piece of the pie,
instead of us trying to hoard the whole thing in order to have the biggest piece --
some of us might not even want a piece,
but we might need it later,
hide it for later.
If we lived into this,
belief that our mission was to change the world
everyone else embodied it,
hunger would cease,
them and they
become a welcome we,
we'd recycle and be green
so to preserve our world
for future generations
the world would be
full of faith--instead of fear,
filled with joy--instead of pain,
full of Hope--instead of hopelessness
would squeeze out every fragment of hate
fill the gaps and cracks of a broken society of people.
neighbors would embody
what it meant
be that---a neighbor
hand in hand
begin with ourselves,
in our own unique little corner of this planet
what we were intended to do--whatever that is
be the best
open ourselves< div align="center">allow that which we are to flow forth
like a rapid waterfall< div align="center">to fill the world with our gifts....< div align="center">and let our unique< /div>
piece of the whole fill an empty gap
no tellin' what would happen.
the world waits for us
to become..become all we could be
all we can be
all that we already are
The world is waitingwaiting on each of us....
On your mark,
Become your own unique Self
wishing you a happy Thursday..
hugs and blessings
< div align="center">
Posted Feb 15, 2012 06:14 AM
Love is a smoke made with the fumes of sighs;
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;
Being vexed, a sea nourished with lovers' tears;
What is it else? A madness most discreet,
A choking gall, and a preserving sweet.(Romeo and Juliet, 1.1.191-5)
Any of you who ever read this blog,
know that Big Daddy is this sexy hot mama's one and true love.
Yesterday was valentines day and I have reflected of how my idea of love has changed over the years of knowing Big Daddy.
We met in a convenient store. Mr. Loud Microphone Man he was---working there as he finished graduate school across the street from where I worked. I used to stop in there to get
a diet Pepsi before I worked with my student where I volunteered at an on site work place Operation Read where we taught adult employees who were illeterate--to read.
He really wasn't my type at all, all clean cut and loud in his pressed pants, tie and wing tips.
He was flirty--not so much with and me, but everyone and it was not
uncommon for him to be singing and chanting in the microphone connected to the gas pumps.
There was something about him from the moment I met him--a mystical connection of sort--
I knew without a doubt that something great and bigger than myself had led me to him and him to me. I couldn't explain it--it was not so much physical attraction, though he was cute---there was a spiritual attraction and a mental attraction. I fell in love with him almost the moment I met him.
He asked me to marry him,
valentines day 1993. We had been dating for almost a year and could barely spend a moment apart.
We were and are as different as night and day but
I don't know that I've ever or ever will experience love any deeper than what I've found with Big Daddy.
Life has not always been easy for us.
We've had to work hard to build and maintain what we have---it is like a treasure---we hold it close but know how devastating it might be if we lost each other.
In the beginning,
his intellect drew me into conversations,
he wrote and quoted poetry,
we watched movies and I pretended to like football,
because of our own half-time show.
Over the years,
all twenty of them we've spent together,
our comfort level has changed and so has our level of love and respect.
I am a better woman for having spent my life with him.
He has helped me learn to laugh,
given me the courage to work through tough issues,
he's held my back up when I felt like laying down
he's put up with crankiness, moodiness, silliness and much more
for more years than most ever would..
We both have our faults,
in spite of or because of them
our love grows deeper every day.
He is still my best friend,
the person I know is always in my corner,
He makes me laugh--even when I try not to---
will always be my prince in shining armor riding on the white horse
to rescue me---sexy hotness in all my glory.
We laughed last night,
as I fell asleep right after work
about our age,
our rescheduling of valentines day until the weekend
and about how love flips into something so much deeper than
I am here to tell you--all of you----
anything worth having is worth working at..
it's worth talking about and digging your heels into the pavement
staying--is often the harder thing to commit too....
it means work and discussion and talking and giving---both sides have to do it---in order for it to work.
Smokin' hot love doesn't fade,
it just sizzles a bit differently as we age.
So a day late...
here we go Big Daddy
what can I say
I will love you----always and forever.
You are my best friend,
my own comedian of sorts.
You make my life interesting,
you inspire me to be a better me.
Smokin' hot love doesn't fade with time,
it gets hotter,
and more precious.
Thank you Big daddy for choosing me---
I'd still choose you
19 years later.
Happy Valentines Day!!!!!
Always and forever..........
your sexy hot mama!
Posted Feb 12, 2012 07:29 AM
"In the depths of winter I finally learned < /strong>
that < /strong>
within me there lay an invincible summer."< /span>
- Albert Camus
gracing the bluegrass,
seems the weather has been confused,
one day it is hot,
tiny specks of white cold snow falls from the sky.
Our life is often like that as well, don't you agree?
We're kind of confusing like the weather.
One minute we are basking in the warmth of life,
enjoying the ordinary wonder of just being alive,
without rhyme or reason,
something hits us,
in a protective kind of way,
we glaze over,
just like the snow crystals that hit
as they are enjoying the sunbeams.
We teeter between highs and lows,
hots and colds
all the while
never quite understanding
how it all happens.
receptors and chemicals.
it is an amazing ride
then it starts all over again
just as the sun rises in the morning
moon on its way to the other side of the world.
I don't think I'll ever understand it
highs and my lows
all the wonder in between
Have a happy Sunday morning!
hugs and blessings
Posted Feb 10, 2012 06:11 AM
We've all said it,
just like Sophia from the color purple,
I know I have said it
I've heard it from lots of others
on our pitiful days
on the days we are all dried up
with nothing left
no good very bad days,
it runs through our mind,
blurts out our mouth
for a moment or two
I think we humans really believe it
"God or the Mystery or the Creative Power in the Universe"
done forgot about me.
We spread ourself out
the world to see
in all our misery,
our eyes look down,
our hearts fold up
that thing done forgot about me.
Our ends begin to fold
just when it appears that
our veins will no longer support
the life giving flow
just when we think our cracks are so deep
we'll fall apart
hope comes from above and below and all around,
one at a time
tiny little drops of love dew
from places and people and something
we can't explain
for a new day,
a new hour
a new life.
for all the tiny dew drops that
flood my life
just when I need them most.
May you each feel their healing on this Friday
we head into the weekend.
Blessings and Hugs!
the radical rambler...
Posted Feb 9, 2012 05:44 AM
Old myths, old gods, old [sheroes] have never died.
They are only sleeping at the bottom of our mind, waiting for our call. We have need for them. They represent the wisdom of our race.
~ Stanley Kunitz
I have been graced by a visit by not one but two of my old mentors over the past two days.
They have aged and are both in their eighties now.
They are strong women who have paved their own path in ways that many never recognize.
The first, now walks with a cane.
She's held up her husband in his professional career--I'd say more like
they've shared his path--her support and her drive coupled with his sharp intellect.
She's crossed me several times on my journey.
First as a medical school advisor, when I thought I wanted to apply.
She has a brutal honesty, a quick sense of humor and a thoughtful grace that
fills the room. When I didn't apply to medical school, I never thought of her much.
Then one day as I began my journey toward ordination in the Presbyterian Church,
there she sat on my Committee on Ministry and much to my surprise,
she and her husband were members of my large home congregation.
I love her deeply and have marveled at her tenacity and drive.
She has two children who she has watched have chronic illnesses.
I've never heard her complain about it but have always seen her do anything possible to pave a path for them to succeed.
She's a mother of four,
wife to one,
She writes and publishes poems and poetry
has been one of the few wise women in my life that I could always count on
to tell me the brutal truth--I remember when I first began leading worship--she walked up to me,
never said so much as hello, but said,
when you read scripture,
you need to slow down,
enunciate your words
so that those with hearing issues can follow you,
push your voice at the end
you have that southern drop off.
When I shared this with my mentor in ministry,
"Few people will ever love you enough to be that brutal with you---think of what she said as a love whisper and learn from it."
when I read scripture,
people comment that
just the reading
was like entering the gospel.
I can only thank Mrs. Barbara for that one.
I love her smile,
her gentle but quirky sense of humor
and am thankful
for our conversations,
and her love.
The next day,
as I sat working,
another of my sheros,
rolled into my area.
She asked for me,
and I rolled my chair out to see her so that we could be on eye level
my once tall gentle giant of a woman who once stood
high above my short body,
was rolled up in her wheel chair.
I smiled at her and asked,
:how are you?:
"i'm going downhill real quick"
I laughed and said,
:at least your still rollin':
We talked for a moment and then I introduced her to one of my new employees---
"This is my old boss"
the new employee said,
"and how was she"
my old boss just laughed and said,
"a real handful".
We spoke for a while and then I moved on about my business.
As she was finishing up in my area,
I walked up to where she was sitting in her chair and spoke to another of my employees.
:This is the best boss I've ever had:
My old boss laughed and I continued to elaborate.
:I am not joking you know:
You are the best boss I've ever had.
i try to model my own style after you,
I was once asked in an interview who my best boss was,
I was quick to answer you
and my reason for that is this
"you held the banner high enough that I reached for it,
never quite allowed me to jump over it"
"you kept me challenged"
"you demanded my respect by holding me accountable for my actions and I loved you and admired you enough that I never wanted to disappoint you."
"you moved around and laughed and talked and happy houred with us young whipper snappers
when you snapped
we stood to attention
because we wanted to please you and make you proud."
She in her quick wit,
seemed a bit embarrassed by all my gushing
quickly turned the tide
back to her joking self,
flirting with my young male employees and laughing with her twinkle.
When she left, I handed her my card with my cell phone number and told her,
:if your daughter is ever gone and you need someone---call me.:
"and what if you are at work?"
"you call me---I will come".
She then moved on to tell me that
her nights are when she is alone---no caregiver---
and I said,
"bet that is when you have your wild parties and invite all your men over"
She laughed and said,
:'that is when I'm alone with my bedside potty"
they don't want me getting up and roaming the house.
She then told me about the fact that she still rolls into her water aerobics class
it is quite funny
they have this lift that takes me up in the air and then puts me in the water
well I bet that is a site
I think I need to come take a picture of that and put you on my blog.
"hell I wish somebody would do that--it is quite the sight to behold."
My employees asked her about me when I was not around,
one told me she said this,
:she was a hard worker, bright, kind hearted and Christian:
She loved to have fun,
loved to laugh
she never had any trouble speaking up when she felt the need called for it.
My employee said,
not much has changed.
I am thankful
for my blessings
Posted Feb 8, 2012 08:12 PM
We humans scurry around,
doing and accomplishing and planning
all the while,
the life we envision,the life we hope to live,
is right there in front of us.
It-life that is-isn't really about the illusion
we sell to ourself and each other. It is something much more than we even think it might be
and yet something different than we assume it is.
Someone once said, "no man is an island--I'll add no woman is either."
we are part of something bigger than ourself
and many days---well we just don't realize that the world
doesn't revolve around us---and it doesn't and it might even really suck when we do realize it.
There is an unseen connection
tying us all together someway,
in a hidden mysterious way.
We glide past each other
bounce off each other
run into each other
without ever even wondering
what has brought us to a location,
why we are both there at this one moment
this particluar place.
In a sense
we are frosted over,
glossed over, covered in crystals of self absorbancy,
frozen to the world around us.
There is a way to stop it all,
a way to stop
allow the slow simmer to begin
to help our frost to thaw...
When we make a connection
either on purpose or accidently,
the slow simmering melt begins
warms our hearts,
shifts our self-centered thinking into we centered
connects us all
in a weird warming kind of way.
precipitates the formation of swirling bonds,
single, double and triple,
tie to each other.
We become stronger,
richer and more creative.
our frozen limbs begin to warm
our frozen hearts
surges of love
beats through our being
begin to learn
is all about...
show a random act of kindness
along the way tomorrow.
don't tell a soul
just do it
watch and feel
as your frozen crystals
melt and run down your heart.
will suddenly learn
what living is all about--
go on out and share a bit of kindness..
I will if you will!
Don't forget to share with me what happened!
Posted Feb 6, 2012 08:50 PM
You don't have to know a lot of things for your life to make a lasting difference in the world. But you do have to know the few great things that matter, and then be willing to live for them and die for them. The people that make a durable difference in the world are not the people who have mastered many things, but who have been mastered by a few great things. If you want your life to count, if you want the ripple effect of the pebbles you drop to become waves that reach the ends of the earth and roll on for centuries and into eternity, you don't have to have a high IQ or EQ; you don't have to have good looks or riches; you don't have to come from a fine family or a fine school. You have to know a few great, majestic, unchanging, obvious, simple, glorious things, and be set on fire by them.
As a child, I would often sit with my feet dangling from a bridge in my grandfathers front yard. I was mesmerized by the water, the way it flowed from there to here and then to somewhere I never knew where. I'd watch tiny bugs and crawl dads move around leaves that had fallen of varying shades. Occasionally a small tadpole would come into sight and then disappear as quickly as it appeared.
I'd drop tiny pebbles into the flowing stream and watch
as the concentric circles would ebb out and around and continue on out to somewhere far away
small humans in a large world
feet dangling and a swinging
the mystery of life
moves the tide forward
sometimes over us, around us,
even under us.
I wonder how our ebb looks,
how we create tiny rippling waves that move from here to there and to somewhere unknown
as I sit here.
Do some of us look stagnant in our pond,
floating on the waves of others,
hanging and offering nothing
I'd suspect that many others,
have all kinds of ripples heading out,
move from their starting point
one tiny ripple at a time,
little random acts of kindness,
all shared and given
unconditionally,creating life ripples,
one tiny little ripple at at time.
We all have the power
to be a change agent,
move love forward,
spread rings of hope,
offer positive energy for others to grab hold of
be ebbed gently
into another place.
how did you ripple the world today,
did you share a smile,
offer a helping hand,
did you tiny ripple
change the world?
create a little wave
a ripple of love
change the world
your ripple effect...
I triple dog dare you!
if you'll try
so will I!
Posted Feb 5, 2012 01:34 PM
"Into each life, some rain must fall." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
It has been a couple of days since I've felt like writing.
I've been "blue". I don't know why and sometimes when it hits,
I don't know quite how to combat it--depression--that is.
It comes at me,
like a dark veil floating past me,
then sneakingly swallows me whole.
I don't like it,
when I try everything I know
to keep it at bay,
it's shadow engulfs me and grabs hold
like a friend who thinks they will never see me again.
It is familiar.
I recognize it's stinking pattern
feel myself sink as the light is gradually diminished.
I hate it,
but am working at fanning it away.
just as I thought it had won,
glimmers of light
came to me
like a life ring thrown to me from a lifeboat.
I was at the gym. I go there and work out hard because
the endorphins usually kick in and help send my unwanted and invited friend somewhere else for awhile.
I was walking and running on the treadmill,
she showed up.
I watched her and felt a great deal of admiration swell up inside of me. The Wheels bus driver got out as he often does on Saturdays,
used the lift and helped her get off with her walker.
She scooted along, gradually making her way into the gym.
I felt the impulse to stop and open the door for her,
but before I could, she was already inside.
She stopped right next to me to buy herself
a water for her workout.
I watched and waited,
wondering if she might need my help, but not wanting to intrude.
She held to her walker and struggled with her arm that didn't quite work right to get a dollar out of her wallet.
It took her several tries to get the dollar up to the machine to put it in but she kept trying all the while shaking and holding on to her walker. She made her selection and nothing happened, no drink and no money.
I pulled out my earphones and said,
"I've seen that happen before, alot of times the guys have to hit it
to knock it off." She looked at me and said in her slurred voice,
"it ate my dollar" and she began to thumb through her wallet again.
I slowed down my treadmill, meaning to get off, when the guy who works there saw her and came up. He replaced her dollar and got her a water and she headed on back for her workout.
I've watched her before. She comes in and works out hard and
I'm in awe of her courage and dedication to taking care of her body and strengthening her muscles. I think it takes alot of courage to begin at the gym anyway, but watching her determination inspired me. I felt myself smile and my old friend began to move away as a glimmer of Creation's light made its way through my dark veil.
As I finished my workout, I saw her leaving the gym and heading down toward Kroger. She typically comes on Saturday, works out and then walks to Kroger and buys herself groceries before the Wheels van comes to get her.
She inspires me and her courage invites me to do whatever it takes to combat my own problem---depression.
Later in the evening,
I met up with two old friends for dinner.
We shared laughter and tales and dreams and truths we might not tell others.
The meal was delicious and eating it reminded me of
something sacred like Eucharistic communion
given at just the right moment.
I could feel more light,
could feel the warmth
felt the dark veil begin to lift.
It was raining yesterday.
we all have days
where rain comes
as an unwelcome guest.
It drips and drops and covers
everything in its path.
But even among the dark storms of life,
even in the midst of cloudy denial,
cools me off
We all have a rain storm of some sort that graces our life---
if we look around,
search for a way to stay dry
small smidgens of joy
splash amongst the wetness
pulling us forward
We all have our days in the rain,
she always comes when we really need her.
Have a wonderful Sunday
I'll try to be more regular this week in my blogging.
Hugs and Blessings!
Posted Feb 2, 2012 06:08 AM
don williams jr.
The turns of our life, always present, always turning, and all the while, we never quite know where we will end up, even though we think we know where we are going.
And yet, it is true, so very true, our lessons--the life teachings---come to us as we experience the exhilarating twists, the surprising drops around unexpected slides, and hidden crevices that sometimes swallow us up or hide us for just a few minutes.
all around us,
all the while
explicit and implicit teachings for
for the world.
Here are just a few things that I've learned
while on the journey:
1. When we are willing, we can and will recognize the wonder of the Creative Mystery
at work all around us, in the atoms that create molecules,
in rain drops that drop from the sky to provide all of creation with thirst quenching fountain that flows continuously and in a spring of green pressing its face up toward the sky.
2. Anything worth having is worth the work it takes to get there.
To become proficient, one has to study, work, sweat a bit and be persistent enough
to climb over the brick walls that others put up in front of you to fence you in.
3. Relationships need maintenance. Friends needs calls, Acquaintances need acknowledgement, partners need attention and children need hugs.
4. Love happens...it is the heartbeat of life....it moves and surges and
surprises us in ways we never quite understand in wonderful refreshing kinds of ways.
5. Mystery infuses the world at every glance,
thinking kind of equations are at work
in a unseen crucible
we are part of the catalyst.
If we look just right, or
let ourself be surprised
we will find wonder and amazement and excitement or in a spiritual sense
one might say:
"the bush"--it burns---it is holy and if we choose to take our shoes off
and feel the bare ground we just might be fortunate enough
to catch a glimmer of the red flame.
6. It is worth the adventure, no matter how many times we might want to sit down, close the ride, get off and quit. If we continue along the twisty journey
life continues to happen
we continue to be part of the world story.
into the wonder of the twisty journey.
None of us
know where we are going,
how long the ride might be,
but if we trust in the ride,
remain in the present
May life amaze you on this Thursday morning,
may the moon going down
provide a mysterious glow of blessing
and may the sun
illuminate your path
may each of you
find excitement and laughter and wonder
at your specific place on the ride...
enjoy the ride.