radical ramblings and thoughts of a southern girl
Posted Mar 30, 2012 06:01 AM
"When I admire the wonder of a sunset or the beauty of the moon, my soul expands in worship of the Creator.”
Yesterday started off on the wrong foot.
I'd hurt my back overdoing again
so I had not been able to work out for a few days.
I seem to always be more on edge when I can't
get the energy out through sweat.
My work day was a disaster
I came home with absolutely nothing left in my body or mind.
Off color daughter, Big Daddy and I decided to take a walk.
Off color daughter and Big Daddy worked together to try to make me feel guilty about
inviting the other....it seems they want me all to themselves.
I find it funny
that they fight over my attention---I think they do it to make me feel loved.
They even argued over
me inviting both of them at different times to
section hike the
Appalachian trail with me (I asked off color son, but he said "hiking is not my thing" --doesn't involve sports or girls).
Off color son said that he'd be the drop off person and pick up person as we hike.
He'd said he'd party and invite girls to the hotel while he waited....ha! ha!.
So off color daughter and Big Daddy were bickering
about who was invited first and I walked.
I thought about my no good very bad day
as my feet moved,
it all began to fade.
Just as it almost came back,
"Larry, Moe and Curly"
flying over me in
quacking and singing and arguing.
They circled and dived and changed places
staring in at the sky...
in the midst of
big daddy-off color daughter jabber,
in the midst of cool breeze
panting barking Cecil--devil dog from the gates of hell,
the pavement became for just a moment
:ground of Holy Encounter:
:sacredness mixed all among the rest:
my weary soul
as it was bathed in
As quickly as it happened,
returned to my walk,
to my view of the sky...
to my "little corner of the world"
just a fragment of a moment,
in the form of
:Larry Moe and curly:
graced my sight
a micro minute of worship
a different kind of way.
May each of you
have a sighting today
have a moment
soul expansion as well.
Posted Mar 28, 2012 07:33 PM
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I grew up in the South, in a little tiny rural town that had and still has a flashing red light at a four way stop, a railroad track running down the middle of main street, a couple of gas stations and more churches than you can count on your fingers.
We lived on the outskirts of town in an area
the locals called, "bean bottom." I don't know why they called it that but rumor has it at some point the whole area was covered in beans. As I got in high school we moved closer to the outskirts of the little town, but for most of my childhood, I lived in front of a train track that ran past our home. My grandfather, known as Little pa, lived on one side of the small house my daddy built and my great grandparents, fatma and fatpa, lived on the other side of us with their large homegrown garden with a tiny path running from our house to theirs along side it, sitting in-between. The grass was most often worn down on the path from the numerous times a day, my sister, brother and I traveled to Fatma's and Fatpa's.
Life was simple then. Seems spring always brings me back to memories of flowers blooming, the smell of sweet honey suckle mixing with the smell of freshly cut grass and cool breeze whipping through my hair. It invites me to remember the slow days of childhood when often a day seemed like a year and in my child-like over developed imagination kind of way, I could move from being a queen on my throne to a cook in the the kitchen making mud pies, to some adventure seeking pirate climbing trees or astronaut swinging to the sky on my tree swing.
The landscape and the slow pace--coupled with the fact that our area of town only had good TV reception for the three channels available in the evening if you sat just right and held your mouth just right made playing outside and reading more appealing than the "world turns or guiding light" that my mama and fatma watched.
Some of my favorite memories were sitting in chairs on my fatma's porch every afternoon.
Fatma would read the local paper from front to back. Fatpa would just listen and look out at the yard pretending like he was listenening to her commenting on what she was reading. It seems the obituaries were often the most fascinating to her and it would not be uncommon to hear about the person's long lost cousin who married so-and-so's brother and moved down the hollar to so and so spark from the name of the person whose name might be listed in the obits.
I loved sitting there on the old porch, listening and talking and taking adventures inside Fatma's story telling tales.
We'd snap green beans while sitting or shuck freshly pulled corn and all the while, fatma would talk, telling me tales of
her mama and daddy and life back in the early 1900's.
Sometimes we'd just laugh and joke.
Other times, we'd have one of those long winded "Sunday school" lessons about church and God and loving your neighbor and if we were real lucky--or not---Fatma would start to sing one of those fast paced church hymns in her southern twanged nasally way.
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">just taking time to sit and talk and think and be....
I miss those days,
miss my fatma,
miss the feel of cold iron from the chairs on the back of my short clad naked legs, miss the feel of paint chipped paint of chairs mixed with rust and miss the breeze that blew from the tall hickory tree next to the front porch.
Life was easy then.
The other day, while driving through a small farm town,
I spotted these chairs dotted up against a building.
I couldn't resist stopping for a bit,
touching them and taking a picture
having a moment...
sitting kind of days...
sitting kind of memories...
sitting...< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
thankful for the flood
reflections of the past...
a chance to sit.
May each of you
have a moment...
to clear your head,
stop for a moment,
smell the flowers and feel the breeze and
the sacred to grab hold of the moment
blessings to all of you tonight......
Posted Mar 26, 2012 09:19 PM
heat illuminates from above and within,
Resurrection energy inside
Something that I can't define
Mystery - I leave my fears behind
Something that seems so divine
Over and over again
In The rhythm of life.
freedom call "rhythm of life"
it goes onleading me toward
some unknown place
to where I've been before but never quite seen.
my feet move forwardshe pulls me,
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">the sun
to rise up,from a seed
that has been hibernating from the depth of my heart space.
I don't understand it,can't even begin to describe IT...
It's silent sound,
pulls me along
like a magnet moves me toward something magical and divine
I seem to be able to dois
walk forward, one foot after another,
the whirling in my mind eases,
the constant chatter ofwhat ifs, what will be,
what am I
who am i
sweet silence comes forward
with no words
I give into IT...
surrender if you will
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">to
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">that
the Drummer who plays my beat
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">is bigger
a highly skilled musician, who is so much better than me and< /strong>
who knows the right rhythm
the right beat to awaken
me from mycomplacency.
The sound rises
from deep inside my heart spaces,
pulls me forward
down the long curvy labyrinth of time
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">and
it does go on...
life that is...
fills rivers and puddles and flows into oceans,sun shines
rainbows come after the storm
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">the rhythm of life
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">over
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">over again.
thankful for a weekend filled with
Posted Mar 22, 2012 07:17 PM
“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.”
― Tom Bodett
I spend my day moving in and amongst people.
people of all colors,
all hues of the rainbow,
newly born wee people,
some who are about to take their last breath,
others who will find the help they need
to heal their weary bodies..
lots and lots of people.
those who are happy,
Some whose eyes are tear laden,
weary worry filled bodies
I watch them.
they surprise you
in all kinds of ways...
some know how to push the button
that sets off the fuse on your very last nerve. ( I hate it when that happens--but it does every once in a blue moon or two)
I do love watching....
watching the movement of bodies through space...
accidental intertwining or
bringing together people
for some unknown reason
at a certain destination and time.
People teach me--all day--every day
something about life
I've noticed some of the happiest people
who have triumphed in spite of
the agony of defeat
without letting it
get them down
or tarnish their smile,
I love these brief passing encounters
throughout the day
I get little tiny glimmers
through hidden lenses
what makes people happy
you know what I've seen through my
staring and watching
of others stories.
it comes in waves,
not because of some luxury item,
in tiny brief moments
half-full glass gets filled to the brim and overflows out to others.
I am thankful
all the teachers I encountered today,
all kinds of people,
bumping into each other,
a weird kind of way that can't be seen with the naked eye.
for glimmers of true happiness,
for moments of deep undying love
...hope that a cure will come...
that the kid won't die...
that miracles can and will happen
for moments when
the world is more positive
May each of you
find a moment
mixes with love
while seated on
rise up to meet you!
Have a wonderful Thursday!
Blessings and Hugs!
Posted Mar 21, 2012 05:44 AM
Sun, sun, sun,
here it comes!!
Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right
lyrics from The Beatles, Here comes the Sun
I forget about the sun coming out tomorrow on days when the world feels heavy, when people get on my nerves, when work is too much and life
gets the best of me.
I forget that it happens...
the tide changes,
the rainbow appears,
it rises up into the darkness and waves to the moon
as it passes her.
The winter felt much like
a midnight ride
the lack of sunshine
tampered with my spirit...
I was moody,
distracted at times.
suddenly without rhyme or reason
the cyclic ride
it broke through the clouds,
seems to have
caused my soul to stretch and wake up abit.
I even wiped the winter sleep from my eyes.
I have missed the sunshine,
missed the warmth,
missed the way
it invites the whole world,
to rise up and worship
Creative Energy of the Universe.
Thankful this morning
a few minutes
bask in the remembrance
a dark winter
the gift of
spring time sunshine.
Here it comes...
i feel the melt
hope you do too!!!
have a great Wednesday morning--
blessings and hugs!
Posted Mar 19, 2012 09:05 AM
Big Daddy... What is it that makes him so big?
His big heart, his big belly, or his big money?
Brick Pollet in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof"
Today, Big Daddy turns 49 years old---at least in Body age that is...
The way he acts--well--that is questionable---
some days he's the five year old who gets on my nerves and other days...he might be sixteen....when he flirts and is needy...
depends on the topic and on how much attention
he might need for any given moment.
I tried to surprise him--he always does better than I do--
the only thing that was the surprise and worked out
was the fact that I took the day off to spend some time with him.
He says, "he wants to start hiking with me." and "he has started walking with me in the morning, though sometimes he needs to clarify that
it is a leisurely walk--not an exercise walk---
He's a funny one...of course it is not uncommon for him to smoke one of his Big Daddy cigar-like cigarettes while we are exercising.
His birthday started on Saturday morning....
we "got" to go to one of those all you can eat and stuff your face
We allow him to go--once a year---for some reason Big daddy is happiest when he gets a ton of food for cheap----
He decided to go between breakfast and lunch so he got two for the price of one
and came home so stuffed to lay in bed and watch basketball.
I hate breakfast buffets---so does off color daughter---
off color son--well he tolerates them--but because he eats so quickly--he ends up sitting there texting and putting his head on the table with his bad manners.
Sunday brought Big Daddy another day of basketball coupled with his once a year treat to
Long John Silvers Seafood take-out.
Big Daddy loves his greasy fried food smothered in tarter sauce---it's good for his
double stented heart.
Today, I surprised him by getting up and getting ready for work--and then telling him that I was taking the day off and giving him the option of
two hiking places plus a picnic
a movie and nap.
he chose the movie and a nap--and added in his list of errands that I get to do with him.
He is currently making our list of "stuff" we have to do.
We are taking back the khaki shorts---I forgot he likes pleats---
we are taking back the peach v-neck--that I thought was sexy hot...he's not into v-necks.
he is keeping the "sexy hot" compression underwear that he says looks like bikers shorts--he said he would wear them to the gym and pose for some photo taking opportunities....he wants to take in our lawnmower---seems we have to buy a new one every year----
seems they don't like sitting out in the elements all year....
we get to stop at Lowe's,
he is currently packing a baggie of long john silvers fish to eat at the movie----I'm sure it will not smell.
I fixed him a homemade carrot cake last night---I'm such the nice wife---off color daughter decorated--and off color son says it smells like Cinnamon rolls....
I'm one lucky woman...
Big Daddy is a "hoot" to live with...
He makes life exciting and adventurous and undull most of the time.....
oh year...he is keeping his hiking water pack and his trail shoes that off color son says are very ugly....perhaps he might hike with me after all!!!
no matter how much I make fun of you
you are my best friend,
my soul mate,
my heart and my one true love.....
and how lucky you are to
a sexy hot wife
and two off color kids who love you...
your off color clan!!!!
as for the rest of the morning...
I threatened to quit writing my blog as they were making fun of me this morning...
Off color daughter says it is not funny at all--since it hasn't included stories about her for a while...
she also said, "you say the same thing every day----how many times are you gonna say..."spring has come..." "from out of the burrows"........that's boring and not funny
I know you lied...."you did not dance by the side of the road"....big daddy chuckled....
I said, "it was a metaphor....I was dancing in my heart..."
she rolled her eyes and laughed...
:no don't stop blogging....just put more cool stories in about me....cause I'm funny."
made a snide comment about, "yeah...her readers think she danced...you saw the comment..."
I didn't dance outside in the church parking lot,
but my heart soared
so off color daughter and big daddy...
"double fingers to you!"
Happy Birthday Big Daddy.........
I do love you
big stomach (don't get all sensitive and all--you say you've got the stomach tumor)
you rock and i love you!
your sexy hot mama
Posted Mar 16, 2012 05:33 AM
" When you arise in the morning,
think of what a precious privilege it is to be
to think, to enjoy, to love."
...IT is Friday!!!!
I don't know about you
I'm not sure there is anything better than waking up on Friday and knowing that
it is the last day of the working week (for some of us anyway).
The world has been busy this week
I've been on a recoup from spending the weekend
with my old college friend
We met up in Ohio last weekend and spent some time in her folks home on their farm (they were in Florida--so it was like we had our own little retreat house).
We sat around talking
It was a fabulous weekend and
I loved driving through little towns and farmland,
The world has been busting
out this week,
in the blink of an eye
bare trees that lined the roadways,
are suddenly bursting in fluffy color.
it is subtle
yet vibrant and
in a sense
it also invites me to do the same.
I'm still feeling a bit lazy,
I haven't been able to wipe the
cave-like sleep from my eyes...
they are at least open
there is something brewing deep down
about to burst forth
"don't know if the world is ready for it"
not my problem.
It is Friday
it is spring
I am alive
Big Daddy is beside me (it is his birthday weekend)
the off color children are
relatively well--off color son did sprain his ankle playing basketball this week--but he can still hobble around.
I got up this morning,
the sun rose again
I breathed in
a deep breath
thanked the creator
I have to be alive.
< div style="text-align: center;">it is Friday!!!
Posted Mar 14, 2012 07:27 PM
"What you don’t have you don’t need it now
What you don’t know you can feel it somehow
What you don’t have you don’t need it now
Don’t need it now
It was a beautiful day"
From out of the burrows of deep dark ground
toward the Sun.
The warmth settles over everything and
from one day to the next
without rhyme or reason,
explosion of vibrant color and life springs forth in the world.
leaves begin to unfold and wipe the sleep away from
their hibernating eyes,
the sun hits
to color the world
with a symbol of spring.
Birds flutter and ducks quack,
the legs of pants disappear
suddenly neighbors holed up
in their winter home,
open the door,
step out into the world and it is a beautiful day.
a new day
a new season
happens all around,
mother carrying new baby
of life and possibility
I stand in awe of it all
thankful for a breath of life
awakens my spiritual bones.
I breath out---yes---
it is a beautiful day!!!
happy day to all of you...
Posted Mar 12, 2012 08:38 PM
"When I admire the wonders of a sunset
or the beauty of the moon,
my soul expands
in the worship of the creator."
I drove along the winding road,
thinking and watching,
moving along as a tiny speck
on the planet.
The light from the sun began to fade
the gray subtle hues began to move in and settle over
the barns and flat farmland of the horizon.
I listened to the sound of the wind blowing
felt the cool air on my face
coolness drifted around.
And just when it felt as if darkness
would drop in and encapsulate it all
wonder upon wonders,
light upon light,
awe evoking moment,
some would call it
a miracle of sort
before I knew it
had reached into the empty crevices of my spirit
grabbed hold of my heart string
strummed slowly at first,
the strings that had gone untuned for so long,
stared into the horizon
the Creative Artist was at work
inviting me to stand for just a moment
on the fringed holy ground.
covered the darkness
drifted in glimmers
tiny rays of love
illuminated and sparkled
into the place
may have died...
moved over me
stood beside green meadow
the light of
it was restored by the beauty of color
wind that blew
IT met me
everything around me
all the gifts of the Universe
quivered with sacredness
invited me to join in the Spiritual movement
danced on the side of the road
in a church parking lot.
blessed revival of spirit.
may all of you
have a moment of surprise
a moment of awe
a moment of sacred encounter of the ordinary kind
be changed .
Posted Mar 6, 2012 05:07 AM
What we do know is that, as the chemical window closed, another awakening took place;
that the human spirit is more powerful than any drug - and THAT is what needs to be nourished: with work, play, friendship, family. THESE are the things that matter. This is what we'd forgotten - the simplest things.
From the Movie Awakenings
The Human Spirit
where it comes from
what it is
the ability to understand it
I don't have that
I do know it when I see it.
Hidden deep inside
protected and dormant
lies a seed of
just waiting to explode into the wonder of the Universe.
is in each of us
all of us
not just one or another
every last one of us
the potential for something new to
blossom and bloom.
Not just you or you or me....
all of us.
When nourished with just the right combination
love, laughter, family, friends, play, work,
in vibrating energy
moving and smashing and pushing against the
of protective shell,
pushing out the dark ground
tiny shoots of new life
stretchin g forth for the world to see.
May we all be privy to the wonder of a newly resurrected morning
our potential bloom forth as we
for and to another.
Have a wonderful day
Posted Mar 4, 2012 11:45 AM
Pick the day. Enjoy it - to the hilt.
The day as it comes. People as they come... \The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present, and I don't want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future.
(1929 - 1993)
This morning as I arose from sleeping in--yes I actually stayed in bed until at least 9:30 am-I came upstairs from the "Love Shack" and Big Daddy was watching his usual ESPN.
I personally had watched and listened to all the basketball updates I could stand so I said, "Can we please watch 278---Oprah Winfrey Channel was having a Dr. Phil biggest loser style contest and it definitely looked to be more entertaining than ESPN basketball updates.
Just as Big Daddy was about to change the channel, "He" appeared on the screen.
A young man lifting himself by his arm nubs doing pull-ups. I looked at Big Daddy and said, "Well I guess I want to see his story, " and thus we watched as I heated up a cup of coffee and needless to say, "It was exactly what I needed to see this morning.' Isn't it funny how these kind of things happen.
The story began with Kyle, a college wrestler who was born with no hands and only partial arms. He has no legs, only partial thighs and yet the there was Kyle beating strong young men who were bigger than himself. It was an amazing story about the tenacity of the human spirit. Kyle said, "My parents never made life easy for me, but supported me as I figured out how to do things."
The story continued as Kyle talked about his career as a "motivational speaker." He said something to the effect of "I felt like a phony standing there being positive, because I didn't always feel that ways." I stopped to listen and he continued his story, "One day I was on a plane and ran upon two service men who had been badly burned in Iraq. The men spoke to him and thanked him for saving their life. He stated he was puzzled at first, but then they said, "We had made a suicide pact and one the same day we were to actually follow through, we saw a story about you on ESPN and we agreed that we could live."
Kyle teared up because he stated it was a pivotal moment in his life.
Fast forward, we find Kyle standing at the foot of Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. He along with a group of people actually climbed to the peak. He crawled, climbed and rolled his way along barrier, down steep embankments and up mountain passes without the aid of hands or feet. As he reached the top, a moment of celebration ended with a moment of solitude as Kyle emptied out the ashes of a fallen soldier on the peak as tears welled in his eyes.
As the story ended, Kyle's last words were, "I realized on this journey that often the thing that I spend the most time on and did so on this trip was, worrying about how far I still have to go...about the future...about how I'm going to get there. I do this instead of looking at where I've been, how far I've come or living in the present moment. It seems I've spent alot my life doing just that........." and his story ended.
I was left to wonder how often I have done the same. I try hard these days to live in the present, to not get into the hamster wheel worrying about tomorrow and the next day. I don't always succeed and I don't always allow myself to accomplish this....
but I'm trying to learn the tools to living this a bit more every day.
Kyle changed me this morning and just as I was thinking about his effect on me, I hit upon a fitness blog which led to a face book page where the following quote jumped out at me...
"The Reason People give up so easily is because they are looking at how far they have to go...instead of looking at how far they have come."
And so....I got it today.....and I realized...
I'm better today than I was yesterday..
yes even though I've spent alot of time trying to get somewhere...
the message of the Universe for me is this....
at the end of the day
"look at where I've been and enjoy this adventure called life....take it as it comes and celebrate having another day....whatever it brings."
As the sun sets this afternoon, may we all allow those last few moments of sun rays to remind us,
not of where we are going,
of where we have been,
how we have been changed,
how we have changed another......
may we be born anew for another new day to come.
Blessings to all of you this morning
thank you Kyle
for changing my outlook this morning.
(((HUGS and Sunday blessings)))