radical ramblings and thoughts of a southern girl
Posted Apr 30, 2012 05:22 AM
it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg.
We are like eggs at present.
And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg.
We must be hatched or go bad.”
It is comfortable you know,
all balled up and warm,
within the confines of our own comfortable boundaries,
our own little home,
our own little space,
not bothered by anyone,
just incubating over time and space
ready to hatch out, break forth, spread our wings,
balled up inside our space,
we feel safe,
even a bit uncomfortable at time,
legs need to stretch
we never learn to spread our wings,
their muscles twitch with anticipation just waiting for the moment
we will safe enough just to stretch,
strong enough to try and flap them a bit,
the first full stretch
and feeling the exhilaration of the first lift off....
hunkered down inside an egg,
none of that happens.
As we begin our week,
may we all
muster up a bit of courage,
peck our way out of our protective encasing
given to us,
may we experience the light flood into the darkness,
let our eyes get used to it,
let the warmth dry our wet newly exposed feathers,
let our muscles take over
spread our wings
go out into the world
fully hatched individual.
spread your wings......
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Hugs,
Posted Apr 25, 2012 07:55 PM
"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"
- Movie Quote from 'Rocky Balboa'
Every once in a blue moon,
while walking the path
bumps along the path
that trip us unexpectedly,
cause us to fall down and skin our knees,
we rise up,
look forward and try again,
knowing for damn sure
that sooner or later
another bump will rise up along the path
the falling down,
skinning the knee process begins once again.
The clock continues it's tock to match the ticks,
life moves forward
pulling us with it,
the sun shines,
rain comes to an end,
we climb from the darkness of the valley to the top of a mountain and head back down again,
without rhyme or reason
it happens to us all
we come to an obstacle placed on the path by someone else,
or something else,
we can't find a way around it,
can't move it out of the way because it is too big and too heavy,
too bulky to master alone,
we don't have materials to climb over,
the ground is too hard to burrow under in some sneaky kind of way.
The only option left is
to put forth a foot,
get down on our knees and
start the long hard journey
going through it.
It "ain't no" fun at all
it sucks up every ounce of energy
makes us muster up strength when we think we have none left
invites us to evaluate
do we want to live here
in a spot selected by someone we don't even know
do we take care of us
make the decision
to keep on going,
dig our heels in,
trust that when the light is out,
our instincts are strong enough guide us...
we get dirty,
sweat out every ounce of fluid inside
if we trust
who we are
who created us
who guides us
keep on going...
no matter how hard...
we get through it...
get to the other side
journey called life.
We will get through it...
we keep going.
Have a great night,
blessings and hugs,
The Radical Rambler
Posted Apr 21, 2012 08:42 PM
"Families are like fudge--
mostly sweet with a few nuts."
I have a unique family.
We have lots of fun, but truth is you never ever know what might happen next. With big daddy and off color daughter, one never knows what one will say or how off color it might be.
Off color son has been busy turning seventeen and his sister turned sixteen (no she doesn't want to get her drivers liscence but we are going to make her--big daddy made her drive the other day she didn't know the difference between the gas and the brake---off color son said.....I was behind them...it was scary.
Off color son has finished his basketball seasons but is already practicing for the next...he might be short but he is sneaky--he can steal from the biggest man on the court---and can shoot a mean 3-point shot or drive up the center amongst the big men.
Here you will find some highlights of the past few weeks to catch you up on all the off color tales.....
A Sunday afternoon hiking trip with big daddy and his crooked stick.....looking sexy hot with his new water pack...although it did take him quite awhile to learn how to suck the water up through the hose....but finally he mastered the technique with a bit of help from his sexy hot mama......
ooo...la...la......look at those muscles!!!
My favorite 'goddess' from the African exhibit at the Cincinnati Art Museum. I took off color daughter and two of her off color friends there and we spent the day. The highlight of the ride was getting lost and driving past a barber shop with the name
Lil nappy hair Barber....
we would have taken a picture but we were really lost and trying to find the street sign to get us to the museum.
off-color daughter's friends--Katie and Dru---tagged along.
We enjoyed the exhibits by Nick Cave and the African art.
I also enjoyed listening to them talk about everything and everyone. K. taught us all that "when you gotta go...you gotta go....even if it means to go behind a tree in a parking garage in a plastic cup. ...way to go Katie.
D. was the quietest passenger in the car.
It was a very enjoyable trip except for the constant rain all day long.
Off Color daughter in Leather and Lace. She is almost as sexy hot as her mama....
Norman (Noah) was not her date...I made them pretend for just a moment...though they do look cute together. That is their fake couple hug.
Basketball season ended for off color son....he is intense as you can see....short but talented. He scored 35 points in one of his games this season....not bad for a short white boy....and not bad for a boy with some of my coordination genes.
The pics below are from "off color daughter's birthday celebration"
Hannah tard...otherwise known as the dog whisperer...the only person I know who brings her dog to a party at the park....way to go Hannah tard!!!
the crew plays some basketball....Olive and Norman play
off color daughter stands and watches
"Raquel" spent her time
trying to be in every picture and
begging me to put her on my blog....here you go
as a incognito movie star....
orange eyeshadow and all...
she is quite funny.....
A tree climbing contest...looks like Olive has you beaten Norman...
Norman...are you standing on a trash can????
Cesar and off color daughter....
guard the table keeping the carnivores away.
That gets us partially up to date...
it has been a busy month...but one filled with lots of fun..
The off color family is really sweet...
a bit nutty too..
makes life worth living..
Hope you've enjoyed a mini-update of off color family tales..
you never know what will be in the next post...that is for sure....
the radical rambler
Posted Apr 21, 2012 07:07 PM
“Then, one day, when you least expect it,
the great adventure finds you.”
The Men Who Stare at Goats
I've been absent for some of this month....
never fear it's not that I wanted to neglect my readers but
Between the off-color birthday celebrations and
my unwelcome friend called "depression", I've not had the energy nor the creative spark to write or engage or participate in life anymore than I have too---which means I haven't blogged much and so as off color daughter would say....sorry, sorry, sorry for my absence....
But I'm back tonight....
so let's get on with an adventure in words.....
Life is one big
written each day by contributors of all walks of life,
from and by and because of
all we encounter.
without even knowing it,
we become so absorbed in the tale of others
the story put in front of us on the TV,
gossip of the neighbor across the street,
we forget to
forget to live our own tale and just become a character used in someone Else's story book.
From the onset of our first breath,
we are carried into the continuation of another's tale,
religious bone infusions,
all rolled up in one,
begins our saga
plays an intrinsic part in how the rest of the story will be played out...
we become comfortable
what others have written for us,
what they have projected for us to be
so we follow the route on the map
without veering from the path
laid out for us to walk.
After a bit,
if we are aware,
we are awakened
carnivals along the way
attract us with their lights and smells,
we get a hint of what life
invites us to experience. It is a bit scary to venture off---but oh...my it is so worth it once the adventure of our own tale begins.
if we are lucky enough
to trod down the unbeaten
road less taken,
dust rises and falls,
leaves crunch under our feet,
if we dare to keep walking,
believe in the adventure that invites us forward
when we least expect
we come to a place in the road
that offers us a choice..
a choice to turn around
head back to where we started
until we hit the familiar once again,
we can trust in the invitation
where we are invited to cross over
and head into
the lush forest
adventure that will take us to somewhere we have never been.
I choose the unknown
enter an adventure on a clean page
where I will write my own tale.....
you dear readers are privy to the adventure.
May each of you
have the courage to
trod down a path less taken
meet you where ever you are.
I double dog dare you....
Posted Apr 17, 2012 06:25 PM
Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind.
The Easter Eggs have been hidden,
basket tossed into the pile of things we don't need--at my house that means it is stacked out in the garage.
The church trumpets have sounded,
the resurrection has been preached
here I sit....
wondering how it passed me by this year.
I feel withered,
sort of like the Easter Lilly's that were on the altar at church,
all dried up,
I'm about to be tossed out on the lawn for the sun to finish me off --placed with the paper from the bunny and the empty bags from the jelly beans.
surprised a bit to even miss it..
miss the rhythm of what used to turn my crank,
wind me up,
rejuvenate my spirit.
I sit here on my couch,
coolness from the overcast day reaches my bones
I dig deep inside myself
reflecting upon life.
It moves and turns
begins and ends
the real wonder of it all bombards every day all the time
mixed within the ordinary moments that tick away
never to be captured again.
I sit some more...
without rhyme or reason
it bubbles up from somewhere deep inside my heart space
it simply says...
life that is...
is right there in front of you....
strangers share a smile,
a touch on the hand from a lover,
a friend calls unexpectedly.
rises and sets,
moon glows and goes through cycles
all the stuff that happens
in the midst of the ordinary
is the good stuff.
I will notice...
from out of the depths
something calls me forward
out of the tomb-like haze of
may I embrace it
life that is.
hugs and blessings.
the radical rambler
Posted Apr 11, 2012 05:38 AM
we were on our way to the hospital,
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or [Braham]
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Oh the Places You'll Go.....Dr. Seuss
Another year passes,
another year gone,
< div style="text-align: center;">it seems like only yesterday...
hours and hours of labor,
your dad driving everyone crazy with his video camera...
a crazy emergency C-section
of your Big shoulders....< div style="text-align: center;">I remember your dad saying upon his first sight of you...
Oh my God...
We've got to change his name...
we can't call him B.......,
we are going to have to call him Beldar..
now if you don't know
Beldar comes from the TV show
Saturday Night Live...
he's a "cone head"
and< div style="text-align: center;">I do mean cone head
and< div style="text-align: center;">yes baby..
you were born
you looked just like
anoff spring from another planet with your
long cone shaped head
that you got from getting stuck---but that didn't matter to Big Daddy....
I can still hear him yelling at every nurse that passed...
Hey did you see that M......baby?Isn't he the most beautiful baby you've ever seen?
and< div style="text-align: center;">no you weren't but we loved you like you were!
Now your on your way to adulthood
and< div style="text-align: center;">I know your not rushing it
neither am I
but< div style="text-align: center;">you are growing into such an
incredible young man.
You have a great head on your shoulders
and< div style="text-align: center;">I know you will mess up...after all you are human and all
but< div style="text-align: center;">life will go on when you do...
I hope you know
how incredibly proud I am to be your mom, incredibly proud of all that you are!
who you are today...
sexy hot--just like your mom---
athletic--I guess you get that from your dad
kind and intutitive---< div style="text-align: center;">a great friend
a good brother
an exceptional grandson
a wondeful human being.
I love your heart,
your quick thinking ability
the fact that you are comfortable in your own skin
< div style="text-align: center;">that you think you are
God's gift to the world
< div style="text-align: center;">guess what
do your best
strive to change the world
one moment at a time because if you try....
just a bit..
you will....change it you know...
I wish you nothing
but happy times in your life,
< div style="text-align: center;">know
you'll have an array of events along the way....
that's what makes the good times so wonderful
going through the tough times, the sad times, the rough times.
Big Daddy and I are in your corner..
we may push
and< div style="text-align: center;">applaud
and scream from time to time...
we are your coach,
and< div style="text-align: center;">friend...< /div>
we love you
and< div style="text-align: center;">as you grow
and wait to see what
Posted Apr 10, 2012 05:59 AM
"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over;
so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over." < span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; -webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #003366; display: inline !important; float: none; font-size-adjust: none; font-stretch: normal; font: 16px/normal "Times New Roman"; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: center; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">-- Samuel Johnson
It is a magical mystical kind of happening a fusion that occurs with us humans.
drops of kindness, acts of generosity, moments of sharing,
drop by drop
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">the
to the brim
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">bounces over the edge
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">and
bonds of our life
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">mingle together
are forever bound together,
fused in a weird way that wehumans
simply call friends.
It has happened more times than I can count,
gift of sorts
no matter where we meet,
how we learn about each other,
what happens to yousuddenly
happens to mewithout
me ever understanding why.
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Our journey's continue
life moves onbut
because of a splash of wonder
when our individual cups
< div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">overflowed
are forever connected
that I don't understand...
This week a very close friend of mine lost her husband of over thirty years.
She called me shortly after it happened. I was speechless. I didn't know what to say.
I felt a state of shock roll over me.
She asked me to pray.
I pondered for a moment,
reaching deep into my heart
struggling to know
the right thing to pray for....
I really just had to trust the universe
let the words flow and I can't tell you what i said.
I haven't been able to get her off of my mind.
Her pain is mine to share
I can't make it better
can't change what has happened...
that is not the role of a friend, isn't it.
we are connected
connected in a weird fashion
a God bonding of sort.
I hold her in my heart,
I pray for her and ask the Creative Wonder of the Universe to hold her.
aches for her.
I stood last night at the visitation.
When I walked in,
our eyes met.
We didn't have to say anything---there was no need.
She was with a bunch of folks doing those things one must do
in these circumstances.
I stood in the sanctuary and watched memories of their life flash across the screen.
babies were born,
love..love so deep
it was tangible
rolled across the screen.
In a bit,
she found me.
We didn't have to talk...
I could feel the searing pain of her broken heart.
i grabbed onto a piece for just a moment
to let her breathe and
Posted Apr 8, 2012 07:58 AM
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud. Do not complain. Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.” ― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter
I can't believe that sixteen years ago today,
I was checking into the hospital,
getting an epidural that did not work
waiting for you to be born.
I recall the surgery starting,
and the next thing I know
I am all drugged up
because I refused to allow them to put me to sleep.
You took forever to come out---because of the scar tissue I had from your brothers' C-section twelve months earlier,
the doctors had a hard time getting you to come out.
You balled up and crawled up inside of me,
they pulled and tugged and you refused to cooperate.
They eventually had to get a vacuum suction
attached it to your head to pull you out.
They held you high for me to see,
you scowled at me---like we were really bothering your nap--or something.
Your daddy stayed with you while they stitched me up
and I remember kissing you as they left.
I couldn't believe it when I saw you,
you had an olive complexion and curly black hair, beautiful full lips and dark eye lashes.
I felt a bond of heart connection the minute I saw you and it has only grown stronger over the past sixteen years.
You were a sweet baby
and we called you "snack pack" because you seemed to want to nurse all the time.
You slept through the night almost immediately and rarely cried. Your laugh...oh my your laugh...was just like "woody woodpecker" from the cartoon. Anytime you laughed, we laughed.
You were the diva of the house in your two piece rock star outfit (blue velvet) and your stick on belly button ring.
Today you are sixteen
and not much has changed except you are a picky vegan eater. Your funny and make me laugh with your off color sense of humor that you
inherited from your dad. I love that you accept people for who they are, that your smart and are always on a quest to learn more, that you are comfortable in your own skin and don't seem to mind what others think.
I'm proud to be your mom
treasure the fact that
we are friends.
I wish you nothing but happiness as you grow older.
You'll be driving soon---yes you will get your permit.
I promise to share the ghetto van with you until I find myself something much nicer...
I promise to love and support you
for the rest of my life.
You are the best daughter in the whole world...
Just for today
---but don't tell your brother or Big Daddy.
Posted Apr 5, 2012 05:27 AM
Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned
'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no lie
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
lyrics by Hillary Duff "Let the Rain Fall"
It falls steadily from the sky in a random
sacred dew drops,
misty morning splashes
cooling and awakening my
spirit once again.
It startles me at first,
almost scares me,
I thought that you'd forgotten about me,
I've tried to forget about your connection...
always leads down the path to pain,
everybody says there is a sacrifice to follow,
I just didn't expect
my source of Spirit
from the community of my raising
from the temple of your dwelling.
the midst of gray
in the midst of aromatic
I was touched....
touched by an encounter with you
a rekindling of sort
of your eternal presence
of the recognition& nbsp;that
are with me....whether I acknowledge You or not.
I cannot fathom it,
choose to not recognize it,
all this emotion,
all this "stuff" swirling through my head,
come in the midst of my own entombment
to experience a resurrection of spirit.
splashing on my head,
Let it fall,
fall on me,
reminds me of YOU.
May all of you
feel the anointing of sacred encounter
Posted Apr 3, 2012 05:36 AM
There's a place that I go
That nobody knows
Where the rivers flow
And I call it home
And there's no more lies
And the darkness is light
And nobody cries
there's only butterflies
The sun is on my side
Take me for a ride
I smile up to the sky
I know I'll be alright
lyrics from song "Pocket Full of Sunshine"
It is that time of year once again....
March Madness and off color children birthdays all rolled
up, wrapped up and tied with a pretty blue bow.
The Bluegrass state is in a state of
as the Wildcats
won another National Championship.
Life in off color house is one of excitement.
Big Daddy screamed and clapped and texted off color son who was watching at a friends house. I tried to watch the whole game but come the half-time show--well my eyes got heavy and before I knew it I was sleeping on the couch with Cecil, Devil Dog from the gates of hell. I did see the last ten minutes because Big Daddy got so loud I couldn't sleep any longer.
The boys are totally excited and I must say,
it was a good basketball year in the bluegrass.
I suspect I enjoyed watching this team more than most
because they were a real example of how we all can act in the world.
If we all bring our best game,
do our part,
and let others do the same....
that is really what being a champion is all about......
Ky Wildcats showed us all a bit more about
how life can be if we bring forth our own gift and quit worrying about what everyone else is not doing.
Before the game, off color daughter, who will be sixteen in a couple of days,
had her birthday cookout at the park down the street.
I fixed a vegan spread that would fool even the best of meat eaters
Big Daddy grilled food for the carnivores in the herd.
I arrived late and after working out for the day,
I took my camera and went down to record the event.
My what an eclectic group of
friends off color daughter has...
all bright in their own way
some artsy and very different
the one in orange sunglasses
was so comfortable in her artistic kind of skin---well watching her
I couldn't help smiling---I mean who tells someones parents that they need to "go home to poop and ask to be taken"....
There they stood,
dog whisperer-hanna tard, Norman, her Mexican--a cute boy who talked about being so hairy he hated wearing sandels, her Asian as she calls her who I think found her face in every photo I took because she was hoping to make the blog, gay and straight, athletic and awkward in their array of tones and strange hair styles
gathered around a table
laughing and talking and being their own self
I felt proud...
off color daughter had such an array of friends,
proud that she could let everyone be who they were
in the process
"be own unique eclectic off color self".
Her birthday is on Easter this year...
she really does hate sharing her birthday
with the Easter guy rising....
we will continue to celebrate as
week of birthdays roll on ....
off color son will head to the Smokies for his
road trip and we will celebrate his birthday next week.
He is ecstatic right now over the game
I'm sure he and his friends along with a dad
found themselves in the midst of
a bluegrass basketball frenzy celebration last night....
he promised to be safe and since the cops did not call,
I guessing they all made it home...
off color daughter
who is not a basketball fan
Big Daddy a text.....
:what about those cats:
the next text she sent was:
"don't be burning my couch (she has her own couch in a room she calls her second bedroom)"
"big daddy replied---the blue one is burning on the lawn"
seems that is the thing..
to burn a couch on the lawn in celebration---or that
what the students are doing this year....
I don't get it....
what a wonderful way
to spend a Monday...
I stand back
for a day
of cool breeze
all wrapped in love and
tied with joy.....
I got a pocketful of sunshine.....
it is all good.
the radical rambler and her off color family.....