radical ramblings and thoughts of a southern girl
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Posted Jan 29, 2013 05:32 AM
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I live on this small planet with other people 7.080.360.000, this is the story of some of them. On average, say 2250 words per day to 7.4 other people. We send over 300 billion emails, 19 billion text messages in addition to this giant mosaic of patterns and proportions. The diagrams, mathematical models, are hidden in plain sight, you just know where to look, but only some of us see how the pieces fit together. It is all predetermined by mathematical probabilities, my job is to connect those numbers to those destined to meet, those whose destinies are touching. Jake in the series "Touch"
I have been thinking a lot this weekend about how are lives intertwine and about how our stories weave around, move around and twist around upon themselves in a series of invisible ways so our lives intersect. I don't know what the mystery of all this life-writing occurs---does it occur by unseen "coincidental" splashes and crashes unplanned and all random like? or is there a Mystery of sorts--a great mathematician who carefully calculates a series of events to get us where to the right place at the right moment when we need to be there. I'm not sure I reside in either court these days---too many rich experiences have occurred in my life to believe that everything is just happenstance---unexpected moments that crash together in time with human beings that make meaning---nor do I believe that the Great Mathematician has a big ole calculator and graph paper all set up to coordinate a series of chess like events among a group of so call people full of free will. \Perhaps the math comes in the form of the possibilities that beckon us forward as some of us move in linear lines getting us from point A to point B focused and planned and takes an act of great "happenstance" or "possibility" to awaken us from our glazed over dream of getting to the end. Others of us--wander around---crashing into this, diving into that \ in a series of twists and moves that when graphed creates swirls and twirls and beautiful patterns that appear to have no rhyme or reason.
Somehow Someway we humans moving in our patterns, driven by probability and risk move around mix around bump into each other touch each other lives mixing and turning and sometimes churning. thinking we are on our own plan in the midst of our own kind of ordinary and some type of unseen catalyst moves among us with a invisible thread of love and touches us connects us brings us humans together in a universe so big we are but a pinprick and it happens we are transformed through and because .... Change< div style="text-align: center;">HopeLoveWonder< div style="text-align: center;">LIFE.....and as Jake would say quantum correlation unites us in an equation so complicated none of us quite get it but in tiny slices so small we forget it as soon as we get it.
Tiny circles, invisible connections crossing throughout the universe Life.
Have a happy day.... Blessings to all of you,
the radical rambler
7 billion people on a small planet, suspended in the vastness of space and we are alone. The meaning of all this is the great mystery of our fragile existence. Perhaps the fact of being alone in the universe unites us, makes us depend on each other for small things, creating a quantum correlation between you and me, between us. And if this is true, then we live in a world where anything is possible. (Jake)
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Posted Jan 21, 2013 09:29 AM
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"I'm too sexy... too sexy for my age...to sexy for my age ....to SEXY!" ME
Well it is almost here that moment when I become the age that I used to think was ancient.. over the hill, almost in the grave.... and you know what... as I hit the top of the hill called 50 or mountain as it has felt on some days.... well looking over the edge of mid-life doesn't look or feel or seem half bad... hell I'm sexier and have a hotter body than I did at forty... I'm almost sixty pound lighter I'd hoped to be 90 pounds lighter by now but you know sexy hot is sexy hot regardless of the number.
Age brings about a different feel it transforms us heals us and somehow someway if we let it helps us realize the fragility of life the sacredness of each little moment the wonder of sunsets and rainbows and snowstorms and rain.
Suddenly the little things like whether my make-up looks right (and off color daughter did make the comment yesterday---you know most mom's teach their girls how to put on make-up or dress them in frilly clothes---it's a shame that somebody your age can't get their lipstick on right--dear lord mom!!!) I no longer care if I'm dressed the way everybody else thinks I should my spandex for the gym is comfortable and I'm sure makes me the hottestest thing on the treadmill or stepper---yes I'll admit it if nobody else says it. I wear my jeans and sneakers and cotton long sleeves shirts... sexy is as sexy does--that's what I always say.... so here as I hit the edge of what some consider half-way mid-life I stand on the edge and say... Here I am world sexy hot mama ... now what we gonna do?
Have a great Monday... and remember sexy is as sexy does spandex, jeans, crooked lipstick and all!!!
The radical rambler
random acts 5. stopped to listen to an older mother tell me about the fact that her daughter is dying right before her eyes...all I could do was stand hug her and let her talk....presence is often everything
6. sent a facebook note to a fellow blogger whose writing has meant so much.
7. a "random" act of hope to a stranger
go...on be a great day and make a difference to someone.
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Posted Jan 17, 2013 09:57 PM
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 \ "Ohhh! You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! Ohhh! Look out! Look out! I'm going! Ohhhh – Ohhhhhhhhhh!" LAST WORDS OF THE WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST
when i worked in ministry as a vocation... way back in the days when my eyes were still glazed over and I thought birds always sang and good things always happened to good people... I always kept figurines of the Wizard of Oz sitting on my desk I suppose it really wouldn't be a bad thing to put them on my desk in the secular world but I prefer that my employees not always know how sensitive I am or how I look for meaning in every situation I sort of keep those things to myself these days sort of as a means to protect myself from hurt and disappointment ...but that was just a side bar ramble ....so back on topic.. way back then...and probably a bit now... I thought these characters really resembled what life was really all about and how all together the characters taught us much about humanity... I mean aren't we all sort of like Dorothy following a yellow brick road of sorts thinking we going to get there...you know to the rainbows end...where life will be rosy and wonderful and...you know just what we were looking for and waiting for.... Toto...well sometimes each of us needs to sit in the basket and let someone else carry us along..whether we like it or not.... it teaches us about friendship and love and care it helps us learn about leaning and community and how wonderful it is when we are downtrodden and heavy for someone..anyone...to just pick us up and carry us for a bit.... it has taken me a long time in my almost 50 years to learn how to trust that someone else is strong enough to carry me and my burdens...and in it...I've learned that most things are bearable as long as someone else loves us a bit... The tin man....well we all need a heart.... need to know how to feel empathy and concern and love most of all...we all need oiled up a bit every once in a while to keep us from squeaking and freezing up... the lion..teaches us courage....and hell fire and brimstone...every last one of us at some point in our life has to face something that scares the beJesus right out of us.... and courage...well it keeps us going in spite of everything else...
The good witch...the world needs more of like her.....to sprinkle goodness and faith and hope in the world....and if we aspire to be her then from time to time we make it... and become a source of goodness in the world... and truth is we are always looking for the Wizard that thing that moves us forward pushes us and pulls us and offers us some kind of magic... and then the mother of all mothers the b of all b's the witch of all witches..
most of us don't want to admit it.. but dammit to hell we've all got a bit of her in us... selfish and self centered sometimes a bit that is downright mean with a pitch of ugly ... she is in all of us whether we admit it or not some of us hide her better than others...but she still resides somewhere in the midst of who we are
i love the scene in the movie where the witch is splashed with water and suddenly right before our eyes it happens little miss Meany the bad girl herself falls to the ground and melts into vapors that dissipate into the air....never to be seen again..
they are all important--these pieces of us---and serve a purpose to a degree or so..
I try to hide my "bad witch side" the side that has the mean thoughts who wants revenge who really doesn't like someone... and she rises up points her finger gets her warty nose right in your face.. i don't like others to see her...
most often when she comes out.. someone else sees the bitch in me and calls me out right there in the middle of the world and splashes me with a bit of water...
splashes me with a drop or two remnants of the baptismal waters where I was birthed... I appreciate when someone steps out and slaps me with a cool reminder of who I am and whose i am causing the bad girl to evaporate the mean melt the warts away... if only for a few minutes or hours....
so let's face we are all like the branches in the trees of the picture from my backyard covered with heaviness layered with tiny little things that add up make us distracted allows the bad witch in us to show our ugly green face...
but isn't it wonderful when out of nowhere cool water springs forth from the fountain of love spews forth, moves over the ancient basement of time and somehow someway meets the mean girl in me melting mellowing moving me to a different phase ... for a moment ... to allow the better parts of myself to shine through....for the world to see.....
.... somebody anybody ... when you sense that I am all frozen and distracted and removed from the source of love and grace and hope... ..somebody... any ole body run on over and drizzle me splash me drench me from head to toe and melt away the ice along go on..melt my witch away....
i can feel it.. melting... I'm melting...
... and it is a good thing!
i suppose the oz characters do hold potential for teaching us about our own life...
go on... follow the yellow brick road 'until you wind your way back on around to where you started and you hear yourself say... "there is no place like home"
blessings and hugs
the radical rambler
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Posted Jan 11, 2013 05:51 AM
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“Life can only be understood backwards;
Our life- pebble tossed out into the Universal pool creates ripples some we see some we feel some so tiny and minute that we think they don't really make a difference but still movement energy atoms and electrons speeding through the universe always creates an impact of sort and when created from our presence something somehow moves out in ways we can't always understand moves across the vastness of the Planet spreading whatever it is we put forth spreading it sowing shaking the world up a bit ... Sometimes the tiny peaceful ebb of the plain old tiny ordinary pebbles is what the world most needs goodness love mercy grace the invisible wonder of life moving in and around the tiny little something .... I suspect that I'd much rather be a tiny little ebb bearing goodness the best I can than to be the stormy wave splashing crashing over the goodness of others...
The world it is full of all kinds of ripples and if we are honest our little stones catalyze both kinds of waves depending one where we are on a given day.
Today... I hope my ripples move forward to hold others up on an extension of love that I cannot even see myself that the light shining from me it offers others hope that my glass is always running over-- not half full or half empty and that the ebb created by my presence will be part of healing hope and Joy to and in a world full of hurt and pain....
Go on... let your ripple change the world....
Blessings....
the radical rambler
UPDATE 4 random acts of kindness completed and I prefer to hold the intimate details but will offer you a blurb or two in hopes that you two will decide to put for 28 acts of kindness into the world
1. listened with my heart to a person whose name I did not know talk about her husband who had died recently--- sometimes real engaged presence are all someone needs at any given moment.
2. helped a family who could not speak English with directions-- sometimes body language and eye contact are the only language people need.
3. sent a gift of love to an old old friend who will not be expecting it---sometimes those who are closest need to be reminded by taller wave that they are cherished and loved and valued.
4. notes to people with a loss---lesson it is not what you say---but that you share a bit of yourself love speaks in ways words can't describe
Go on.... think about it... stand still for a moment and then let your love propel you to ripple the world in ways that might even surprise you... then reflect back upon what you learned
I'd love to hear from you!
happy weekend!
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Posted Jan 6, 2013 08:50 PM
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“There's nothing better when something comes and hits you and you think
e·piph·a·ny1. sudden realization: a sudden intuitive leap of understanding, especially through an ordinary but striking occurrence 2. appearance of god: the supposed manifestation of a divine being
In our ancient stories, the writers had a great way of letting us readers know---"somebody" finally "Gets IT"....There would always be some strange interaction with a "stranger" in the form of an angel
and then all kind of lights and winds and strange things would happen. Wonder what it would be like
if everytime us humans had an epiphany
lights would flash and bells would ring.
It would be a "strange" but interesting kind of place...wouldn't it?
I wonder what it would look like
if every time IT happened to us human beings a flash of light went off... a spark or flash spanned the darkness... wouldn't it be great if throughout our ordinary mundane typical day... we're walking down the aisle of the local Kroger or running on the treadmill of the gym or walking down the hall of school or sitting at our desk we see it a glimmer of God moments happening all around. What if suddenly in the midst of confusion we look up and see "IT" that thing that comes to all of us in all kind of ways... wouldn't it give us hope... beckon us to seek the extraordinary wouldn't it get us out of our day-to-day "normal" routine.
I'd love to see it.. just once in my life all us humans walking around with our "aha's" all hung out for display in full public view... lights flashing and going off as if the paparazzi was following us everywhere.
Truth is epiphanies happen all the time.... and if we humans could see with the spirit eye if we had the nerve to actually see the Mystery at work in the world it would happen we'd change be transformed be healed be something .... light upon light striking like little fireflies glimmering in the darkness as the Creator meets human face to face a spiritual smack down of sorts "getting it" "learning" "discovering"
BECOMING as "something or someone or some something" comes to us in the midst of the ordinary and opens us up crack us open awakens us to a life where we are
refreshed revived restored re Visioned... .....
The Mystery it comes tapping sometimes banging even on our soul spaces.... inviting us to something...
hoping... just hoping.. we'll give into IT as it invites us to a new spaces and places that might be scary or unusual or downright crazy...
IT meets us and whether others see the light .. IT is there moving around in the atoms and electrons and spaces around us and it waits... waits for us to say...
Ah...I get it... IT is you.... what you got... Here am I---send me!
May each of us awaken to the wonder of the Extraordinary and be changed. Go ahead-- let it wake you up I double dog dare you!
blessings to you on this epiphany night!
The radical rambler
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Posted Jan 3, 2013 05:41 AM
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WE ALREADY HAVE everything we need. There is no need for self-improvement. All these trips that we lay on ourselves—the heavy-duty fearing that we’re bad and hoping that we’re good, the identities that we so dearly cling to, the rage, the jealousy and the addictions of all kinds—never touch our basic wealth. They are like clouds that temporarily block the sun. But all the time our warmth and brilliance are right here. This is who we really are. We are one blink of an eye away from being fully awake.”
If we already have everything we need right there tucked in the corners of our heart... If our light vibrates in anticipation of being let out into the world and the energy is pushing against our soul space I wonder what are we waiting for---
judgement of others laughter poking fun weird looks
they are all other peoples way of blocking us keeping us clouded from the universe somehow it or they or their energy has a way that makes us feel inadequate like our light can't shine bright enough to make a difference in the whole universe our spark... that tiny little thing.. it really doesn't matter....so why bother letting others see.
and I stop and i think... what if in the blink of an eye I opened up not giving a damn about how weird others think I am not caring that I don't see the world the way
many do... what might happen if I said... enough
move back clouds get out of my way .... my light the world could use a bit more of it.... ... I feel the warmth on the surface the spark of illumination pressing to move into the world ... so what am I waiting for...
... in the blink of an eye... I can choose to do it... let my light shine.... and so can you....
blink and decide to live fully humanly alive ..... let your light shine...
Happy new year... Happy Thursday...
the radical rambler
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Posted Dec 30, 2012 05:37 PM
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 Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for."
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Two Towers (The Lord of the Rings, #2))
The old year of 2012 is soon to be ending and 2013 will be starting anew. We'll all be cleaning up the post holiday clutter and starting our new resolutions for the upcoming year. It has been a long hard year....in more ways than one for me. The news on the TV has been heartbreaking--war, death, hurricane, tornado, earthquakes, tsunami's, fires, shootings---and all the while during the first part of the year, I wrestled through one of the toughest and darkest nights of the soul I think I've ever experienced. I hope I never go back to that place. The wonder of it all is---I got through---with a lot of help from those who love me (and a bit of help from the health care system). What I will say about it all is this: I have learned alot...alot about me, my family and life. I was reminded in the midst and after it was over ---that even when the storm is it's darkest---when I can see no hope of sunshine---somehow the storm passes and the rainbow spreads across the sky in celebration of rocky times being over. I was reminded that even in the midst of bad times when it seems there are no "good people" left in the world---somewhere out of the strangest places--'grace and mercy mix together floats up a bit of hope---and in the strangest of places in the strangest kinds of ways----love overpowers hate and jealousy and envy. I learned boundaries are important---and most of all trusting my own intuitions regarding people should not be doubted.I enter a new yearSexier Hotter and feeling good for the soon to be fiftieth anniversary of my birth.I appreciate small things more than I used to and relish the sacredness of family. I've learned that the small stuff should not be sweated and guess what I've learned-- almost all of it--it being that stuff that keeps us awake, causes us anxiety---it is all small stuff.I've learned to balance my lifeto take time to rest or sit in front of the fireandI'm learning to be presentmore present to my family and friends.
so now whatin the upcoming yearI hope to become even more healthier andhopefully see Big Daddy get a bit healthier but that is his deal---(hint quit smoking and quit eating butter--I want you around to drive the RV). I hope to laugh more often and enjoy life...really enjoy...that is another thing I am learning to do....
The Mystery--that sustained me during my dark night of the soul---found me and draws medeeper into the realm of beingand livingand leads me towardbecoming all that I was created to beI am not there yet...but I'm still walking, crawling, trying.I am wiping away the lenses given by othersandam finally seeing--really seeing the world with my own eyes....soeven in the midst of one of my darkest year....goodness it overcomesoutweighsandoverrides the darkness.
I am thankful to be alive!!!In the upcoming yearmay each of youfind a deeper aspect of yourself and live fullyrefreshedrestoredrevivedandrenewed as as a loved and cherished child of the Universe.
Ann Curry recently sent a tweet while she was wondering what the answer to the worlds suffering might beand she sent the following:
After the experience in Newtown. I thought, “What if? Imagine if everyone could commit to doing one act of kindness for every one of those children killed in Newtown.” So that’s what I tweeted. And guess what? People committed. I said in my tweet, “I’m in. RT if you’re in.” Not only did they commit to 20 acts of kindness, they wanted to up it to 26 acts of kindness for every child and adult who was lost at the school. Some even debated maybe we should include the mother, who died, at 27 acts. Some debated maybe we should include the killer as well as he was struggling and in pain. So what would happen?I am in and hope commit to 28 acts....adding one for the mother and one big one to override the darkness the killer felt and caused.How about it...Are you in?
let me know and share what you are willing...let's start a yearteaching,sharing,being,infusing love and goodness and hope to and in and for the world.
May it be so..for mefor youfor all of us....
happy morning..The radical rambler
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Posted Dec 30, 2012 05:37 PM
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Frodo: I can't do this, Sam.
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for."
— J.R.R. Tolkien (The Two Towers (The Lord of the Rings, #2))
The old year of 2012 is soon to be ending and 2013 will be starting anew. We'll all be cleaning up the post holiday clutter and starting our new resolutions for the upcoming year. It has been a long hard year....in more ways than one for me. The news on the TV has been heartbreaking--war, death, hurricane, tornado, earthquakes, tsunami's, fires, shootings---and all the while during the first part of the year, I wrestled through one of the toughest and darkest nights of the soul I think I've ever experienced. I hope I never go back to that place. The wonder of it all is---I got through---with a lot of help from those who love me (and a bit of help from the health care system). What I will say about it all is this: I have learned alot...alot about me, my family and life. I was reminded in the midst and after it was over ---that even when the storm is it's darkest---when I can see no hope of sunshine---somehow the storm passes and the rainbow spreads across the sky in celebration of rocky times being over. I was reminded that even in the midst of bad times when it seems there are no "good people" left in the world---somewhere out of the strangest places--'grace and mercy mix together floats up a bit of hope---and in the strangest of places in the strangest kinds of ways----love overpowers hate and jealousy and envy. I learned boundaries are important---and most of all trusting my own intuitions regarding people should not be doubted.I enter a new yearSexier Hotter and feeling good for the soon to be fiftieth anniversary of my birth.I appreciate small things more than I used to and relish the sacredness of family. I've learned that the small stuff should not be sweated and guess what I've learned-- almost all of it--it being that stuff that keeps us awake, causes us anxiety---it is all small stuff.I've learned to balance my lifeto take time to rest or sit in front of the fireandI'm learning to be presentmore present to my family and friends.
so now whatin the upcoming yearI hope to become even more healthier andhopefully see Big Daddy get a bit healthier but that is his deal---(hint quit smoking and quit eating butter--I want you around to drive the RV). I hope to laugh more often and enjoy life...really enjoy...that is another thing I am learning to do....
The Mystery--that sustained me during my dark night of the soul---found me and draws medeeper into the realm of beingand livingand leads me towardbecoming all that I was created to beI am not there yet...but I'm still walking, crawling, trying.I am wiping away the lenses given by othersandam finally seeing--really seeing the world with my own eyes....soeven in the midst of one of my darkest year....goodness it overcomesoutweighsandoverrides the darkness.
I am thankful to be alive!!!In the upcoming yearmay each of youfind a deeper aspect of yourself and live fullyrefreshedrestoredrevivedandrenewed as as a loved and cherished child of the Universe.
Ann Curry recently sent a tweet while she was wondering what the answer to the worlds suffering might beand she sent the following:
After the experience in Newtown. I thought, “What if? Imagine if everyone could commit to doing one act of kindness for every one of those children killed in Newtown.” So that’s what I tweeted. And guess what? People committed. I said in my tweet, “I’m in. RT if you’re in.” Not only did they commit to 20 acts of kindness, they wanted to up it to 26 acts of kindness for every child and adult who was lost at the school. Some even debated maybe we should include the mother, who died, at 27 acts. Some debated maybe we should include the killer as well as he was struggling and in pain. So what would happen?I am in and hope commit to 28 acts....adding one for the mother and one big one to override the darkness the killer felt and caused.How about it...Are you in?
let me know and share what you are willing...let's start a yearteaching,sharing,being,infusing love and goodness and hope to and in and for the world.
May it be so..for mefor youfor all of us....
happy morning..The radical rambler
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Posted Dec 28, 2012 05:35 AM
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“To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter... to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring -
Well it has been a few days since I last posted. Christmas has come and gone--well not really---I do have Big Daddy's family Christmas weekend beginning this afternoon. I was off for almost eleven days from my paying job. I can't tell you how much I relished my time. I loved sleeping in late, staying up watching bad TV. I enjoyed putting my pajamas on in the early afternoon and sitting with the laptop or reading or watching a movie. Big Daddy and off color daughter have been watching Prison Break on netflix---they are each on a different season so most of the time--I have no idea which country or which prison the characters may be in at any given time. When I last left you, we were headed to the Western Kentucky Clan where we had a wonderful Christmas. My mom made her homemade German Chocolate Cake with lots of coconut pecan icing---oh my---it is my favorite food group. I'm so glad she only makes it on rare occasion because it is one of the most delicious items on her cooking list. My great-grandmother-the one I called "Fatma" made it almost every Sunday so not only is it delicious---it is also one of my good memory comfort foods--it reminds me of sitting on her old cracked black couch--eating cake out of an old pie tin while watching Fatma crochet and listening to "AS the World Turns....such wonderful memories.. I swear the chocolate part of the cake is so soft and delicate and then throughout there are spots of gooey icing that has trickled throughout in the places where my mother punched holes with one of those gigantic forks then poured the icing over it slow so it will drip down into the cake--oh my--i'm salivating just thinking about it. . This year the first thing I did when I got home to visit was look at the stove--where the leftover homemade icing resided. Everyone commented that I didn't eat much lunch---well truth is--I had the left over icing and I was on sugar overload. We had a nice visit and sometime during the visit, off color daughter decided to embrace her gift of the "ghetto van". On the way home she started talking about ways she could shagadelic it up--we talked about fur on the seats and a battery operated lava lamp---we mentioned peel and stick flowers. So the moment we got home, she got into the ghetto van and started cleaning....you see I was not a "clean van owner." I'd used the van to tote muddy football players home from practice, tote Big Daddy's lawnmower that has to go to the shop every spring because he leaves it out in the snow all winter and it was what I drove when my friends and family go on our hiking trips---so it is also filled with hiking sticks and a backpack or two. Then if you add in all the books and magazines and trash and grocery recycle bags---oh my---if I'm truthful--it was an awful mess. Off color son was immediately off to play some basketball and I headed out for last minute stocking stuffers....big daddy was working and off color daughter got in the ghetto van and spent hours cleaning---she says I was a dirty car owner---True says me and honey boo boo. When I got home from the stocking stuffer trip, there she was.... sitting in the front yard--middle seat of the van set up like a couch....an old tire set for the fire pit and the hiking stick put together like a tee pee over the imaginary fire pit. It looked like the guy from the Will Ferrell movie whose wife kicked him out on the lawn with all his stuff so he set up house there. I was so shocked I couldn't laugh and all the while off color daughter was screaming---laugh and give me some approval--I'm funny. If I am truthful---I have to admit--she is funny--funnier than most kids her age---but alot more off-color than most as well. The off colors --plus mama dee had the Big Daddy buffet and went to church on Christmas Eve. Big Daddy built a fire in our Love Shack---he had the fireplace inspected and cleaned as a Christmas gift to me. I love watching the flames and wood burn and hear the cracking-----it is mesmerizing and cozy. We've had a fire every night since. Off color daughter got up really early on Christmas morning--like 4 am--I mean what teenager sets their alarm to get up at 4 am---she and big daddy watched TV while off color son and I slept in until 7. The day was quiet and peaceful and just what I wanted. I'm now taking off the five pounds that I allowed myself to put on and have headed back to work.
Life at the off color house well as far as I'm concerned... on most days... even on the bad days... it doesn't get much better than here.
I mean how many of you have come home and found a child has set up a living room, created by junk on your front lawn.... now whether I'd tell off color daughter or not-- she's damn funny....
May each of you find your bliss as we prepare to enter another new year.... no the world did not end... the aliens did not show themselves... off color daughter and I tried to have an end of the world party but her friends got scared by us and went home around 9 pm....seems they were scared by our ghost stories. Perhaps the even though we are still here---perhaps if we are lucky our world hasshifted abit...perhaps just a bit...for the better we can hope....
I've learned something very important this year.... life is precious and we teeter a fine line between here and there creativity and crazy blessed and miserable
I choose to be blessed creative and here present in the moment... May each of you enjoy your day, feel the sun on your face the wind in your hair and find the wonder in your own little ordinary life.
Blessings to you this morning from a rambling rambler... Hugs.
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Posted Dec 28, 2012 05:35 AM
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“To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter... to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring -
Well it has been a few days since I last posted. Christmas has come and gone--well not really---I do have Big Daddy's family Christmas weekend beginning this afternoon. I was off for almost eleven days from my paying job. I can't tell you how much I relished my time. I loved sleeping in late, staying up watching bad TV. I enjoyed putting my pajamas on in the early afternoon and sitting with the laptop or reading or watching a movie. Big Daddy and off color daughter have been watching Prison Break on netflix---they are each on a different season so most of the time--I have no idea which country or which prison the characters may be in at any given time. When I last left you, we were headed to the Western Kentucky Clan where we had a wonderful Christmas. My mom made her homemade German Chocolate Cake with lots of coconut pecan icing---oh my---it is my favorite food group. I'm so glad she only makes it on rare occasion because it is one of the most delicious items on her cooking list. My great-grandmother-the one I called "Fatma" made it almost every Sunday so not only is it delicious---it is also one of my good memory comfort foods--it reminds me of sitting on her old cracked black couch--eating cake out of an old pie tin while watching Fatma crochet and listening to "AS the World Turns....such wonderful memories.. I swear the chocolate part of the cake is so soft and delicate and then throughout there are spots of gooey icing that has trickled throughout in the places where my mother punched holes with one of those gigantic forks then poured the icing over it slow so it will drip down into the cake--oh my--i'm salivating just thinking about it. . This year the first thing I did when I got home to visit was look at the stove--where the leftover homemade icing resided. Everyone commented that I didn't eat much lunch---well truth is--I had the left over icing and I was on sugar overload. We had a nice visit and sometime during the visit, off color daughter decided to embrace her gift of the "ghetto van". On the way home she started talking about ways she could shagadelic it up--we talked about fur on the seats and a battery operated lava lamp---we mentioned peel and stick flowers. So the moment we got home, she got into the ghetto van and started cleaning....you see I was not a "clean van owner." I'd used the van to tote muddy football players home from practice, tote Big Daddy's lawnmower that has to go to the shop every spring because he leaves it out in the snow all winter and it was what I drove when my friends and family go on our hiking trips---so it is also filled with hiking sticks and a backpack or two. Then if you add in all the books and magazines and trash and grocery recycle bags---oh my---if I'm truthful--it was an awful mess. Off color son was immediately off to play some basketball and I headed out for last minute stocking stuffers....big daddy was working and off color daughter got in the ghetto van and spent hours cleaning---she says I was a dirty car owner---True says me and honey boo boo. When I got home from the stocking stuffer trip, there she was.... sitting in the front yard--middle seat of the van set up like a couch....an old tire set for the fire pit and the hiking stick put together like a tee pee over the imaginary fire pit. It looked like the guy from the Will Ferrell movie whose wife kicked him out on the lawn with all his stuff so he set up house there. I was so shocked I couldn't laugh and all the while off color daughter was screaming---laugh and give me some approval--I'm funny. If I am truthful---I have to admit--she is funny--funnier than most kids her age---but alot more off-color than most as well. The off colors --plus mama dee had the Big Daddy buffet and went to church on Christmas Eve. Big Daddy built a fire in our Love Shack---he had the fireplace inspected and cleaned as a Christmas gift to me. I love watching the flames and wood burn and hear the cracking-----it is mesmerizing and cozy. We've had a fire every night since. Off color daughter got up really early on Christmas morning--like 4 am--I mean what teenager sets their alarm to get up at 4 am---she and big daddy watched TV while off color son and I slept in until 7. The day was quiet and peaceful and just what I wanted. I'm now taking off the five pounds that I allowed myself to put on and have headed back to work.
Life at the off color house well as far as I'm concerned... on most days... even on the bad days... it doesn't get much better than here.
I mean how many of you have come home and found a child has set up a living room, created by junk on your front lawn.... now whether I'd tell off color daughter or not-- she's damn funny....
May each of you find your bliss as we prepare to enter another new year.... no the world did not end... the aliens did not show themselves... off color daughter and I tried to have an end of the world party but her friends got scared by us and went home around 9 pm....seems they were scared by our ghost stories. Perhaps the even though we are still here---perhaps if we are lucky our world hasshifted abit...perhaps just a bit...for the better we can hope....
I've learned something very important this year.... life is precious and we teeter a fine line between here and there creativity and crazy blessed and miserable
I choose to be blessed creative and here present in the moment... May each of you enjoy your day, feel the sun on your face the wind in your hair and find the wonder in your own little ordinary life.
Blessings to you this morning from a rambling rambler... Hugs.
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Posted Dec 24, 2012 09:43 AM
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"Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
Big Daddy is in the kitchen this Christmas Eve Morning. Mama Dee will be coming over this afternoon and we'll partake in the annual before Church Big Daddy Bonanza Super Smorgasbord. I smell onions and cheese and I'm sure there is some starch and chicken mixed in there somewhere. I'm waiting my turn to fix a dish. Big Daddy and I learned early in our marriage--we can't be in the kitchen together. I hate to admit it but we both are "KIA's" aka "know it all's". So if we work at separate times--then there is no kitchen fights (although I'm sure when I get my turn, he will be walking in and out bossing about how many dishes I'm dirtying up or how much I have dropped on the floor.) After all, it wouldn't be Christmas without Big Daddy know it all advice--I love him anyway--in spite of or because of---his know it all skills. Off Color kids are still sleeping and Glitzy Dog is lying on the couch trying to bother me as I type--he wants to go run--but I'm feeling the holiday five pound bloat already setting in and I'd hate to not have to work really hard after the New Year. Off Color son will not get to go to church with us tonight--I'm a bit sad about that ---but he has to work---what kind of sandwich shop functions on Christmas Eve and who buys a deli sandwich post church. There are no light lit in the off color house--Glitzy Dog ate the cord off of everything--so we have a tree that doesn't light up, lights and greenery along the staircase---that do not shine. The cards are hung and the elf from Big Daddy's childhood sits and watches over us and here I sit--- warm house, stretchy running pants--thank God I'm not wearing tight jeans--- smell of cooking Big Daddy style, Christmas movie on the TV and candles burning.... and in the midst of my ordinary chaotic life, in the midst of a lived in house and crazy dogs and fun loving kids who will say anything and do anything... I realize that what I've been waiting for my whole life is right here swirling around in the midst of all we do. Our lights mix and swirl and move together, and love love is here and I feel a lump in my throat and joy in my step.
All month, we've been waiting, waiting for something in our liturgical fashion purple and white candles greenery, nativity scenes and while tomorrow is the celebrated day perhaps if I'm honest with you-- if I never opened another gift, never pulled another thing from my stocking, never ate another Christmas cookie (well that may be going too far) if... well the truth is.... life doesn't get much richer than this ordinary off color kind of thing....and I am thankful...thankful for smells and color and light and love.
I wish all of you happy holidays love and laughter and joy and contentment most of all.
Life comes and goes, flows if you will and the darkness continues to be broken by rays of ordinary unfiltered light that shines... from you and you and you.....
Love that thing we've been waiting on all season... has been here all the time... may we embrace it enjoy it and be thankful enough for it to let our own light of love shine....
so go on... "Don't be afraid" ..... Let it shine--- your light... your love... let it shine!!! let it shine!!! let it shine!!!
wishing each of you Shalom!
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Posted Dec 20, 2012 09:10 AM
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When I look up at the night sky, and I know that, yes, we are part of this universe; we are in this universe, but perhaps more important than both of those facts, is that the universe is in us. Many people feel small because they're small and the universe is big, but I feel big because my atoms came from those stars. There's a level of connectivity. Neil deGrasse Tyson
Hanuka, Kwanzaa, Christmas, our rituals the pegs that move us along from moment to moment lifting us from our ordinary days to remind us of the wonder of being part of that which is bigger than ourselves and all the while giving us an anchor to the other humans in the universe. Wonder upon Wonder comes in the midst of ordinary mundane days, Lights on the trees twinkle and the presents are almost wrapped, dreidels swirl and twirl while latkes simmer in hot oil, the zawadi gifts are spread beneath the candles in hopes of umoja (building community that lasts).
In the past few days, I've felt small, helpless and a bit overwhelmed. I look to sky searching for a bright star to lead me to lead all of us. The world feels especially heavy but yet for some reason I feel so connected to those around me--even the strangers whose names I don't know--all the while we go about our busy days, shopping and baking and being all the while mothers watch their children dwindle due to lack of food, little girls are shot for pronouncing that they deserve and education, countries threaten each other with poison and nuclear arms and war and humans harm each other for no rhyme or reason apparent to us other humans---we just don't understand. I stand look to the sky seek some magic, some mystery, some wonder the whole world needs something ....healing of sorts....
Mercy, Lord have Mercy, .... what are we humans doing?
I look to my own story of faith... pregnant girl, older carpenter, angels and shepherds and magi, all find themselves in a place under the same level of worry and fear and darkness all headed someplace anyplace unsure of where they are going. .... and suddenly in the midst of turmoil in the midst of the craziness of life, LOVE arrives in the most ordinary of places hay and straw manger and swaddling darkness of night cows mooing and sheep baaing mice standing still in awe
dark sky illuminated light bright shining light leads the way to the place the ordinary place filled with great love and mystery and wonder.
and I once again look to the sky and I wait for the wonder to connect us all fill us all heal us all.
May it be so during this holiday time especially during this holiday season.
and I look to the left and I see him look to the right and I see her I look to the sky and all around all of us
lights glimmer, stars flash atoms swirl in and out and all around in you then in me and back out into the atmosphere waiting for some other to pull it into them and the push it out binding us in an invisible connection of the human and extraordinary kind of manner.
all of us connected held together bound together under sky of universe and LOVE continues to arrive daily in each of us just like it did long ago. if we open our eyes look to the sky and wait.... if we wait... IT love that is... always shows us the way....
wishing each of you love and laughter and wonder as the season arrives.
Blessings on this rainy Thursday morning!
The radical Rambler having a ramble....
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Posted Dec 17, 2012 08:07 AM
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 “It really boils down to this: that all life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tired into a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one destiny, affects all indirectly.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.It has been hard to write,to find words,to even think out loud,the incredible lossloss of lifeloss of dreamsloss of possibility.
Holidays roll on in,trees light glimmerandall the whilepain is illuminatedin our eyes,andin the deepest corners of our heart spaces.
I look to the sky....listen intently to the wind....and I waitwait for some answer that will give us rhyme or reason for the loss of empathy, for the cause of such despair, for the answer to the question we can't even begin to form.
we humansregardless of where we liveorhow we live in ourown unique little corner of our planetweareconnected...connected by heartstrings held together byanchors from the beginning of time.
There are no wordsonly unbeliefonly painonlyloss...
During the third week of adventwe light the candle of loveanddon't we all need to feel it a bit...need to hold each other closesavor our next breathour next moment.
Where is God? Yes God is presentin the silence of our loss.
in your handas it touches those you loveandthose whose names you don't know...in your tearsfor loss of a child you never saw...in the silence of a worldstruck byunbelief.
Love swirls,healing balm approaches,the light of love,pulls us,overpowering the evil and pain.it is our hopeour life breathour anchor.
in the silence of worldwho has lost its breaththe foggy presence of lovedrifts over a universe of painandonce again...i feel the trembleof hope begin to rumble in the depths of our despair.May it be so...May it be so...for todayabove all days..we need a bit of hope....for there are no words.
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Posted Dec 13, 2012 05:33 AM
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Sebastian: You want my advice? Get a puppy or something. John Grogan: I've never had a dog. Sebastian: There's nothing to it. You walk him, you feed him, you let him out every now and again. Marley and Me by John Grogan
For those of you who have read my blog for awhile, I'm sure you remember all the antics of Cecil, the devil dog from the gates of hell. Well, I thought when Cecil committed suicide by running in from of that red neck truck, we'd seen the last of "dog crazy". As you know, it has been well over a week since I have written on my blog---simple answer being--Simba/or Glitzy as I call him, my sons new dog has been up to antics reminiscent of Cecil. Last week, off color daughter, Big Daddy and I left the house for just a few short hours to attend a gymnastics exhibition at the local University. "Glitzy" (his name is Simba because he looks like a lion from behind---but he answers to Glitzy when I call him). Well Glitzy was left unattended in off color sons room while we were gone. Upon returning, we find Glitzy has pulled the carpet up from the door way about a quarter of the way into the room. He'd eaten up the cushioning from underneath and chewed a corner a bit. We were able to put it back down with only minor damage in one area....but "what the hell." Sunday, I got ready for church and had one of those "moments" where I felt like I'd better put my laptop in the bag--never know what Glitzy will do. WELL---- that worked for the laptop, but obviously I left just a corner of the plug hanging out. When I returned from church, Glitzy had chewed up the computer cord and charger that belongs to my laptop. My battery died and thus I lost access and have not been able to blog for a few days---my new charger from off amazon arrived yesterday. Monday night, Norman came over to visit off color daughter. He just got his license to drive so if you live in the state of Kentucky---I'd advice you all to stay off the road for a week or two. While he was here, off color daughter left her room unattended for maybe five minutes. When she returned she plugged in her electric blanket that she uses when she is experiencing joint pain. A few minutes later, poor Norman goes in and sits down on the blanket----Zap----Norman is "shocked" by the blanket. Well, it appears that off color daughter was gone just long enough for Glitzy to chew the electric blanket cord and controller into several piece but left it connected just enough so electricity would still flow. First carpet, then a computer charger and now a $80.00 electric blanket--what the hell!!!! Next day, I come home from working out and Big Daddy proceeds to say, "Simba was a good boy today--for a minute. He told me he needed to go out to the bathroom, went out and did his "duty" and came back. I praised him and gave him a treat---not five minutes later he comes to me with a cord sticking out of his mouth. Guess what he did today? He has chewed the cord off our desktop printer." Good Lord!!!! Tonight I come home and ask big daddy what kind of damage Glitzy has done---only chewed a light off of the set of Christmas lights (thus we can't plug them in any longer) no major loss since I forgot to check them before I put them up. Later as off color daughter and I are getting ready for bed, we notice green plastic and wire all around the floor. We start investigating and discover that precious Glitzy has now chewed off the plug of our prelit Christmas tree (no O Christmas Tree for the off color family this year).
So today is a new day and no telling what kind of damage Glitzy will do today.
He looks like a sweet little playful over sized dog saved by off color son from the human society but don't let him fool you... he's just waiting for the next item left unattended to chew up. Big Daddy has bought bones upon bones we've bought chew toys and raw hides.... but they don't last long.
We now have an over sized innocent looking chainsaw mouthed dog.... What were we thinking?
I mean look he is kind of cute!!!
So now I'm back on line-- have a wonderful day ... take a few minutes to enjoy the season and all the while "watch out for your cords".
blessings... the radical rambler
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Posted Dec 6, 2012 05:42 AM
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“There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must of felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life.
Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget, that until the day God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, 'Wait and Hope.” -Alexandre Dumas Growing up in a small town, the Christmas season brought about many levels of expectation. I mean let's face it, when you grow up in a town that only has a flashing red light and your closest neighbors are your great-grandparents who lived on the left side of your house and your grandparents who lived on the right side--- well the Christmas season brought something out of the ordinary into the life of a imaginative girl living in a tiny town that was only big enough to have a four-way stop with a flashing light. As soon as the Charlie Brown Special, The Great Pumpkin, ended, the season of waiting began. We waited for Daddy to head to the woods and find us a tree he thought was special (it was always crooked and not really all that full) but we thought it was amazing. It filled our house with the sweet smell of the coming season. He'd place it in that red and green tree holder, fill it with water and cram it into some corner where it waited in anticipation to see what kind of "dress" we kids might decide to place on it. We'd spend days unraveling the bundled of matted Christmas lights and then spend hours trying to find the one bulb that was making the string not work. We'd hang glass bulbs and string popcorn and make our own "special and most beautiful" hanging surprises. My favorite part of the whole tree thing would be when mama would break open that package of silver icicles. They would glimmer in the light and I'd hold them over my head catching the lights of the trees. I would throw each icicle up one at a time letting in land where it fell and all in all---well we really believed our tree was the most beautiful of all. Looking back--it uncovers the wonder of childhood and the way ordinary little things take on their own magical splendor---cause let me tell you---our tree would not ever have won any kind of prize in any kind of Christmas tree pageant, but it sure made ordinary life in a tiny small town on the edge of Western Kentucky take own its' own magical splendor. The tree of course was the beginning of the long wait. We waited for the Christmas parade that occurred in the next town over. Mama and Daddy would take us there, drive up to the curve, place us on the hood and cover us in blankets. There we'd huddle together and watch as a band or two would march by playing jingle bells or joy to the world. Local "celebrities" like the mayor or the beauty queen from the county fair would pass by waving and occasionally throwing us a piece of bubble gum or a tootsie roll. The Shriner's would pass in their funny looking hats and clowns would ride by on little motorcycles. The best part of the parade was always at the end... when the replica of a house covered in snow would come with a big fat or sometimes skinny Santa in his red suit and white beard sticking out the chimney--giving mama and daddy a new threat to make us "be good girls." And as the parade ended and the tree was hung, my sister and I (my baby brother had not been born yet or was so small I don't remember him being there yet) would begin the long season of Waiting.... waiting to write our list, waiting to tell Santa, waiting for the Christmas play at church where we both dressed in white angle costumes and held candles singing silent night as shepherds dressed in bathrobes would kneel before someones baby doll who was dressed for the evening like baby Jesus. We'd wait for Christmas eve and lay in bed that night waiting for the joy of Christmas morning gift. I always hated when it was all over and even as an adult now I find I like to wait... wait to open the last gift because I don't want all the excitement caused by the waiting to be over. Waiting teaches us lots of things like wonder and joy and awe that we don't always remember to see or experience.
I don't really like waiting for many things... but as the Season comes upon us... I find... I still like the long drag of minutes to Christmas.
We wait... wait with the hope that Christmas is coming... we wait... wait for the baby Jesus to be placed back in the manger, wait for something to bring the magic to us again wait for the wonder
.... we wait with hope and the seconds continue to tick filling us with...........Hope.
Have a wonderful season of waiting may it bring to us the joy of hope we are awaiting.
blessings... the radical rambler.
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Posted Nov 25, 2012 08:53 AM
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"The most significant gifts are the ones most easily overlooked. Small, everyday blessings: woods, health, music, laughter, memories, books, family, friends, second chances, warm fireplaces, and all the footprints scattered throughout our days." — Sue Monk Kidd
It has been a few days since I've sat down to right---I'm sure most of you understand. Holiday time starting, traveling, family get-to-gethers, dinners and shopping and .....whew...flurry of activity. If I am truthful....I've just taken a vacation from writing for a week or so....no reason other than....just because. I've missed it. Letting some of the words that swirl around inside of my head be vomited on a blank screen---no filter---just letting it happen. It grounds me to an extent. Mellows me out... puts me in a better place... helps me realize my blessings... writing...good, bad..ugly... is a part of me..... I feel a bit unsettled when I don't do it. So whether anyone ever reads it... I need to write for my own soul. So it has been Thanksgiving week---and the off color family has celebrated. Big Daddy Boo Boo outdid himself once again---no I did not cook---Big Daddy Boo Boo can't help himself. He starts setting stuff out on the stove in little categories for all his assorted dishes he plans to cook on Monday. By Tuesday afternoon, he can't hold himself back--he's cooking...cooking...cooking...and sometimes creating a deliciouso (as we call it in the off color house) assortment of dishes. By Wednesday night--almost every dish is prepared. The house smells of butter and and cream soups and casseroles of all kinds....Food is everywhere....and Big Daddy... well not only can Big Daddy not help do all the cooking a few days early...Big Daddy can't help but start sampling his dishes. By the time I got home from work--Big Daddy was sitting on the couch with the "bloat" from his delicacies. Thursday brings about a relaxing day at the off color house, we sleep in, snack and then in the afternoon, Big daddy snapped into gear and heats up our off color day Thanksgiving Golden Coral buffet extravaganza. Mama Dee comes over and we sit around eating and laughing and watching TV. This year, we ended up playing uno---and experienced the hand that would not end. After two hours, finally off color daughter was the lucky winner of the UNO game from hell. Friday, off color daughter and I went back to visit my parents and family. We travel in my new green alien bug mobile---my cute little NEW Kia Soul---no more ghetto van for me---it's all off color daughter's---and she is "SO happy about it---not. Big Daddy and off color son had to work the day after Thanksgiving so it was a girls road trip filled with songs and singing and stories and laughing and sleeping for off color daughter. Once again we had a eating extravaganza--starch---starch and more starch. On Saturday morning, I got up, had my coffee and decided it was time to get some exercise. I dressed in my sexy hot spandex (my niece who saw me afterward asked me--"how'd you get those running pants up---you look like you were poured into them---now that was not nice--don't you agree?) . I put on my ipod, dressed in my black and yellow neon bumble bee running outfit and I ran--that was not too tight just sexy hot tight. The cool air cleared my head and got rid of the sugar overloaded brain. The air was brisk and I ran.... ran out the neighborhood my parents lived in, over the railroad bridge, and up toward somewhere... as I ran... graves... graves of my ancestors were in my left.... and I remembered gatherings of the past... I remembered my fatma's flat green beans, sweet hot sliced ham and jam cake that nobody else has ever been able to touch. I remembered my littlepa and the way we used to fight over who would pull the wishbone to see who was the luckiest... as I ran..I glanced to the right watched as a train heading from someplace to somewhere rattled by....and I remembered swinging on the tire swing out in back of my littlepa's house... I'd watch the trains there--wondering what was inside the boxcars and where it was going and where it was from.... and I ran...past the lake where baptisms were held at midnight and where my friends in high school and I floated to catch some sun, I ran through the town where I grew up past my old kindergarten teachers house---only a remnant remained. I ran past old friends houses, past my old Sunday school teachers house... ran through town (yes those rednecks in their big ass pick up trucks were rubbernecking to see this sexy hot mama running in her tight spandex running pants....--good thing it was a small town---so not to cause a traffic jam.) I ran past the holy roller church where my parent used to take me--where I learned about "fear factor God"--and where I was also loved into the faith by women who cared for me in spite of my repetitive questions about God....about where God came from and how Adam's sons found wives...and sometimes just loved me in spite of my inquisitive mind... I ran past the old store where my friends and I'd would stop for cokes after school and then ran over the bridge and straightway to home... not a bad trip down memory lane for a quick 3.5 mile run....and I felt rejuvenated.
I realize as I think back I am blessed, have been blessed and continue to be blessed. I can walk, I can even run a bit looking sexy hot as I do, I have a multiple people who love me, food to eat, a new alien green bug box to drive, a warm home, a big daddy smorgasbord, a job health and sexy hotness of course..... sometimes in the flurry of the holidays I forget... forget to stop think remember .... a guess the awakening came when we paid a visit to my mother's brother who is in a nursing home. I walked in the front door and the smell hit me in the face--the smell of uncared for folk, of people bound to their bed, unable to get up or walk or even shower by themselves. I saw eyes stare at us as we headed to his room he shares with a man he doesn't like. They have two TVs blaring and the floor is covered by bed linens---several days worth as it seems the staff didn't think folks might visit the day after the holiday. We talked a bit and then left---and as we left I looked... looked at eyes--hungry for love, hungry for affection, hungry for interaction and my heart broke in half....and I wandered what could be done to make their lives better... wondered how each of them would count their own blessings... wondered... what it might be like to sit and stare, sit at the door looking out, stare out the patio window and be sitting there waiting to die... broke my heart I say....wondered what it might be like to be waiting to die.
......... hum.. blessed with bountiful blessings.... thankful for big daddy boo boo smorgasbords, for homemade German chocolate cake for laughs with nieces and nephews, for runs down memory lane and for family and touch and home and warmth and for all my bountiful blessings....
well in my own sexy hot humble way...... I am most thankful for the bounty..my bounty...our bounty.. may each of you take a moment to find some gratitude see your blessings count them and be a blessings of some sorts... ....... Happy Holiday....... Blessings... The radical rambler
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