radical ramblings and thoughts of a southern girl
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Posted Sep 28, 2011 08:48 PM
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“And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” T.S. Eliot
As a young child, I spent hour upon hour, out behind my grandfather's house, swinging in an old tire swing, sailing to the sky, twirling and kicking, underneath that old oak tree right beside the railroad tracks.
I'd watch as the train cars went by, see the passenger car and wonder where they were going, what they did who they were and as quickly as they passed I'd be back at it again, swinging and dreaming and imagining all the while taking in the wonder of leaves, feeling the grass under my feet, staring at the clouds and thinking about the places I might go someday.
Living in a chaotic world gives rise to a longing deep within... a longing to return for just a few short minute, to be carefree, to sit for an hour or so stare at the sky, kick my feet and return to a place of long ago when time went slow and being was easy....
It looks inviting, I'll say that for sure.... being that is...
next time I pass... I'm gonna stop
and
be.... just for a few minutes... that is...
Stop and breath and swing and rest hump day is over... weekend is coming...
blessings and hugs..
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Posted Sep 27, 2011 08:39 PM
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Let the damned thing go down the drain! Robert A. Heinlein
Whew! < div align="center"> what the day... pulled at every angle possible, problems to solve, chaos, tension,crazy episodes of uncontrollable situations and I hear in my head and want to say out loud..."I am not your MOTHER"--except to the off color kids of course...
As the day ends, the "things" crazy things swirl around my head, bombard through my mind, bounce around and keep me from lying down and resting...
in retrospect all the chaosjust needs to go down the drain, no need to let it bother me, no need to let it become pooled and become stagnant.....
I am going to let the "junk" the dirty infestations of my environment < div align="center">andmy world,wash off me, move off of me, leave me,
all in all
at the end of the day all the crap doesn't matter if I stop and recall .... I am blessed,I am loved, I can walk and talk and see. I have food to eat, a bed to lie in a big daddy to snuggle with and two off color kids to keep me young two nice well mannered labs and of coursethe Cecil devil dog from hell--who escaped again today--but was caught within five minutes.... < div align="center">
big daddy cooked dinner and his mom, mama Dee, came to eat with us, family, food, and love... yep... all the stuff, is swirling moving down the drain.... as I free myself from it....
for I am blessed!!!! < div align="center">
happy Tuesday
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Posted Sep 26, 2011 08:21 PM
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“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” Karen Kaiser Clark LIFE it moves along, moment to moment, second to second, the clock ticks turning and we grow a bit older....
Change... it happens, rustles our feathers,
we try to slow it down, stop it, use our energy to convince our self that it "ain't" gonna happen to us... but regardless of how hard we push up against it, time she keeps moving right along, and the world, well the world keeps a changing... life follows her lead... and things shift, transform evolve .... we stare time in the face notice the changes occurring and our choice meets our glare... and we make can dare to dream, vision, move, learn, evolve, transform, grow... or not ...and remain stagnant..
tonight may we all choose wisely... and grow... happy Monday...
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Posted Sep 25, 2011 08:59 PM
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We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
spiritual beings, brought together in a world that is said to come from chaos ordered somehow by a mystical Force unseen with the naked eye,
we walk around < div align="center">all bound up, proud up, ego'ed up, eyes closed, going through the motions never taking the time to think aboutthe wonder or spiritual invitationsthat are placed right there in front of us, inviting us< /div> to experience humanity in the fullest sense. < div align="center"> deep thinking for just before bedtime but wonder how we'd change our thought process our view of the world if we embraced the fact that within ourclay like shell resided a spiritual being....what does that mean anyway, spiritual being too deep for me to think about too big to understand, but i like the thought of a mystical like energy encased in this sexy hot mama of a body, .........< /span>I look at the leaf that was in front of me on a recent hike... colors moving from the green of summer growth into the brilliant array of oranges, reds and a tinge of yellow...it is ragged, but even in the midst of it... there is intense beauty in the details, pointed edges, < div align="center">veins running throughout,wounds ever present....laying there, < div align="center"> fallen from above residing now underneathother things < div align="center">waiting to be broken down and regenerated into something else.
looking at leaves is spiritual...< /div> but does it remind me to be human? < div align="center"> hum.. suppose it reminds me to experience awe and wonder and stop and think a bit... < div align="center">we humans< div align="center">
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Posted Sep 23, 2011 08:36 PM
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“Making your mark on the world is hard. < div style="text-align: center;"> If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not. < div style="text-align: center;"> It takes patience, it takes commitment, < div style="text-align: center;"> and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. < div style="text-align: center;">The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't. < div style="text-align: center;">it's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it;...”
― Barack Obama
It is Friday evening.... I'm tired... exhausted from a week of running, working out, working, cleaning, being....< div style="text-align: center;">I don't want to think about anything but sleep....< div style="text-align: center;">andthen I see this picture of a tree that I took on a hike....and my mind begins to wonder.... I start thinking about why someone would carve their initials, < div style="text-align: center;">a picture,their love...in a tree on the side of a cliff out in the middle of nowhere.....
I suppose, underneath all our daily living...< div style="text-align: center;">what we really want to know is that somehow we did just that... made a tiny little mark..somewhere in the universe... somewhere on this little planet we call home.
I look at the world... it is so big...andhere I sit... on a couch in the middle of the south, under full moon sky, with the first fall-like evening where there is a cool crisp bite in the air.... andwonder about my little mark....
I think about it, wonder about it, sit some more and fight off sleep...
making our mark... it is hard work,takes energy and tools and ideas and courage I do suppose...
trying is the hard thing.. getting the first little nickin the wood... daring the first time,moving, pushing, sweating even.... hard work it is...wemight think we've messed up, that it isn't good enough, butdoing something, making a nick, a prick even just a scribble out of our true authentic self is better than the alternative...doing nothing... walking in robot like fashion, going through the motions, too afraid to speak up or out or for...silenced by terror, shaken to the core,hiding from others....
perhaps... this scribbling and nicking and carving in treesis a safe place to try it first.. to be true to selfand name a place in the universe..choose a thing to bear our imprint...
even if it may be off the beaten path....
making a mark, scribbling against the smooth surface, moving with all your mightin a silent hidden world, it is a good thing... leaves a dent,lets' others know.. you exist.... < div style="text-align: center;">let's us know we exist....< div style="text-align: center;">
a tiny tree, small pen knife, silent and alone, push it in, scribble it,
trace the letters of your name and
makeyour authentic mark on the world.
It's not easy, but oh..so freeing...
Go on... on this cool Friday evening... Make your mark... scribble a bit andbe...< /div> it's better than doing
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Posted Sep 22, 2011 06:00 AM
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<tbody> | The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be, places that are as scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring, and sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending. And that's not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, you go into the unknown. And once you do, you can never go back.
liz in the movie Roswell
We walk down the path
eyes closed,
stumbling on occasion,
sometimes viewing the sights along the way,
often talking and laughing and being with other
humans just like us
when suddenly
an opportunity of a lifetime
jumps right in front of us.....
unknown territory...
a dark hole of sorts
and
our choice for the moment is
to choose to enter into
a space
of uncertainty
trusting that the universe
will not lead us astray.
It is scary business...
changing
and choosing
ones own unique pathway
trusting
that
that
"thing"
inside
will lead us the right way.
Some would rather journey
on pathways
paved
and
cleaned
and
beautified by someone else....
too scared or lazy or comfortable
to dare
think of a world
outside the box--or especially of taking a step into the unknown,
it's called:
always taking the easier softer path.
I love coming to a place
when I'm unsure what is next
my adrenaline
begins to rush,
my heart pounds
and
little by little
I'm learning to trust
that i will have what it takes for the next step
out of normal...
Go ahead...
take one step....
They say once you go unnormal....
you never go back!
Have a great day
and
hugs..
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Posted Sep 20, 2011 08:49 PM
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The universe is energy that responds to expectations. JAMES REDFIELD, The Celestine Prophecy
It's that time of year again, greens fade, brilliant beauty colors the horizon, swirling oranges, yellows, flaming reds, the leaves on the trees flutter, they color, they display themselves with flare, invite us to join in the autumn dance where coolness grabs us, makes us feel alive, the wind has a nip, and the sweet smell of green grass fades into the dry hay like smell of fall.
The wind blows, the colorful leaves wave and dance and offer glory to the world in a flash of beauty that is indescribable in any kind of human words. I find they energize me, open my eyes to wonder and awe and hope....that.....spring will come again.
i walk along, under my feet, I begin to hear the crisp sound of the dry grind underneath my feet, crunch, crunch, crunch, mashed up, ground up, brittle pieces fall and scatter and shred.
we humans go through the phases of life in the same manner, we grow up, green up, color, up, fall down, get ground up, reform, rebuild, grow some more and in the process
find a bit of
that
thing
we call
hope...
hope...
it is a cycle
that turns and moves
and
comes back on itself..
time and time again...
may we
all
find a bit of it tonight...
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Posted Sep 19, 2011 09:01 PM
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Larry, bees have never afraid to change the world. I mean, what about Bee Columbus, Bee Ghandi, Bee-Jesus? from the Bee Movie
Sometimes , the world is changed by little humans going about, taking little things and turning them into nec tar that when drizzled into the day to day living, makes the world just a bit sweeter and a whole lot more delectable.
I have one friend, RC, today is her birthday...happy birthday nae!.
She is special in all kinds of ways....
she's an artist, a creator of colorful wonders that capture the light in just the right way, she's full of wisdom, wisdom she gleaned from the woman she called mommy and her granny and all the wise women who walked before her...... one day she said to me in her southern Appalachian voice with a twang of sorts, "you have to see the world with the eyes of an eagle....you seem to be seeing it like the way a mouse would see it..." I didn't get it for a while..... didn't have a clue what she was talking about, but I just keep on trying.... trying to look down from above.. and somedays, when I'm lucky... really lucky, I capture a glimpse of the world from above for just a short time...
She is a gentle soul, with the intuitive wisdom of native ancestors, a medicine woman of sorts, a offerer of blessings and prayers and tiny little specks of meal that feed the ants and bugs in her backyard, prayer offerings, small gifts scattered to the four corners, made on the behalf of friends, acquaintances, the world. She is a wise woman, cut ter of hair, bak er of bread, walks with the stable feet of the mountain goat and i swear just being near her or talking to her grounds me in a way i can't explain.... her roots run deep.... and her love is like a well of love and care and concern that never runs dry.
So on this day.... a little bee that flies around, told me to send forth a celebratory offering of sorts on behalf of a woman who had made a difference in my world, my life, and I thank the wise grandmothers for all her wise teachings and i thank my God, for the warmth of a friend who knows without ever having to be told. She is not afraid, to face the world, stare diversity in the face, open a heart full of love and share it with the world. little by little just a little worker bee who changes the world as she touches folks like me all over the place....
:don't bee afraid: bee a changer of the world like my friend RC.
happy birthday nae....you worker bee, gatherer of honey, and stories, and medicine....
I'm so glad you were born and that you are one of my "three sisters" who walks along side me in the world, picks me up when I fall and invites me to laugh at myself in all kinds of situations.
love you...
wishing all of you a special friend, mentor and spirit guide, like my friend, RC.
blessings and hugs....
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Posted Sep 18, 2011 10:45 PM
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"There are no secrets in life, only hidden truths that lie beneath the surface." Michael Hall in Dexter
Somehow we learn to do it... hide the things we don't want others to know... we bury them deep, swallow them down, cover them up, and if for some chance they begin to bubble up, move up, explode out, we run inside, deeper into our self and close it all off, build walls of brick around us to protect our self--from that little secret that brings us hurt or pain or shame.
We go behind the bricks we make and use--- food, drugs, overworking, sex, alcohol,--- numbing bricks used to hide that "secret thing" or so we say-- hide it from the world, but really truth be known.. we are really hiding from our self.
no light can enter as we close the window--no cool breeze for us--- push the shutters closed---cause the light reveals the secret lie, bringing it to the surface, allowing exposure for not only all the world to see, but also also to us.
On this Sunday, I recall all the little secrets that have held me back, closed me off, disguised my pain and hurt and shame...
One day, I opened up, opened the shutters, looked at myself as the light flooded in, I cracked the window and a refreshing cool wind hit my face and I realized....
secrets...tiny secrets.... all they do is hold us back the truth....well it frees us....
Happy Evening.. Hugs and Blessings...
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Posted Sep 17, 2011 08:47 PM
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“No job is beneath you.
"You ought to be thrilled you got a job in the mail room And when you get there, here's what you do: Be really great at sorting mail. ” ― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
We fly around
searching for something,
anticipating
that one
great find,
hoping for the "one" that didn't get away....
that's what many of us aspire for anyway...
to
be the best,
land the best one,
accomplish the most,
bring home the mother load.....
I am fascinated by the conversations
I get to have with people,
they dream,
they aspire,
they
talk about
what will happen
"when they get there"
As an older...
sometimes
wiser
forty something sexy hot mama..
I usually nod
and smile
and
encourage
the
"kids"
to
reach for their dreams......
and
then I ask..
"what makes you happy"
most often..
they can't answer it..
the secret to this they say
will come when they "get there".
I nod and smile and
realize
that not long ago---
and
not to show my older and wiser age..
but
just a few short years ago..
that was me....
striving, working, driven,
motivated,
off the change the world...
and
that I have
a bit
in my own unique way....
and
I smile and look at their wishful eyes.......
in my nod...
I prepare
a mini-speech
that one day..
I'll give...when I find just the right to listen....
'I'll call it---advice to my kids!'
from
the sexy hot mama...
here goes:
1. the world is a great place...don't miss the adventure that is right in front of you, the bee on the flower,
the wonder in a butterflies wings,
the sound of the rain....sometimes
the very best things
are the things we miss
while we're planning and driving and pushing to get to the next place.....
keep your eyes open and watch...
wonder will grab you!
2. always try to find the place where your "greatest joy meets the worlds' greatest need"---that is when living into a vocational calling becomes most fulfilling--when there is a bit of joy woven through the daily grind all the while having the opportunity to make a difference---that's when you sit down at the end of the day
content and full of satisfaction.
3. talk to people, smile at a stranger, play nice and share---sometimes the person you least expect will teach you the best lessons in life--that is what i've found anyway!!!! trust me...
every person you meet can and will change you
in some form or fashion....if you are open
so
don't miss the opportunity look at everyone in the eye
and
smile occasionally!
4. Always do your best!!!! All the time!!!
when you lay down at night,
the big question to ask is this,
"did I do my best"
"did I make a difference"
"did I touch someone"
as long as you've done your best....
that is enough...
regardless of the outcome
regardless of the grade..
regardless of your paycheck..
working hard
at whatever you do....
giving the world your all...
that is living..
always..
always..
do your best---it's enough.
I know my sexy hot mama speech will not change
the driving force of the world...
but
occasionally
try a few of
the
words of
wisdom
from an older and wiser
sexy hot mama....
I promise...
it
is worth it!!!!
Just do YOUR best...always!
happy sat....
have a sabbatical Sunday!!!!
blessings and hugs.
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Posted Sep 16, 2011 10:05 PM
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What we leave behind is as important as how we’ve lived. &nbs p; &n bsp; &nbs p; &n bsp; - Picard from Star Trek: Generations
Remnants
of others
scatter the path on which I trod. remnants of an untold tale to tell, someone or somethings life story waiting to unfold.
Remnants,
tiny pieces of
a life, a love, of journeys, < div style="font-family: "Times New Roman", Palatino; text-align: center;"> scattered along the trail, I gaze at them, wonder who touched them, wonder what they were like, wonder about the paths they traveled and the sights they saw wonder who they knew.
I wonder...
Remants... we leave them too, tiny pieces of our color, our crinkled up crap, tiny chips of pain cracked and covered and tossed to the side given up by the carrier as something that is no longer needed, things---remnants---things no longer needed for flying, or spreading or primping.
Remants....
they brighten our world, provoke intellectual wrestlings, inspire and invite....
Remnants... we carry them, bind them, wear them out and one day.... when all is right and in line with the Universe on that day, we realize that the "thing" we no longer need, can be tossed, put down, layed to the side for a day when someone else comes along, picks up the scrap and continues down the trail
all the while
scattering their
own tiny remants along the way.
May we all become aware of the gifts we leave behind and how they color the journey we call life long after we are gone.
remnants The things we leave behind... they are important for all kinds of reasons...
remnants
recycled pieces of humanity
scattered
along the way
remnants...
What remnant have you left behind?
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Posted Sep 15, 2011 05:44 AM
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<big>"We can't help being thirsty, moving toward the voice of water. </big>
<big>Milk drinkers draw close to the mother. </big>< /span><big>Muslims, Christians, Jews, Buddhists,
Hindus, shamans, everyone hears the intelligent sound </big>< /span><big>and moves with thirst to meet it."</big>
<big></big>- Jeladuddin Rumi (1207-1273)
I feel it in my spirit, that crinkly, raspy, need. I am tired, cranky, exhausted. < div align="center"> I can't think, just want to sleep some more, too thirsty to start moving. I lay nestled in my thirsty parched state, amongst the green thriving souls and I wait for the first drop of rain, the tiny smidget of refreshment that will begin my own revival of sorts. I think I drank my last gulp sometime ago. my throat is scratchy like sandpaper and my spirit... well let's hope a big ole blowin' wind don't come along to wisp me away into some unknown part of universe. I move my crinkled up parts, stretch out as much as I can without breaking, so that when the voice of the water speaks, when it comes, I'll be ready. Waiting don't know how long it will be but will be sittin' right here until my next gulp of refreshment arrives... until then I will lay here amongst God's creation and wait.... I think I hear the rain a comin'... waiting..............it's not much fun!
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Posted Sep 14, 2011 05:57 AM
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Sometimes my heart hurts so much, I beat it with my fists. I try to run. But you cannot run from this. It waits for you. Even when you think you have escaped it, it is there. < div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> klaus kinski
Pain... it is everywhere.... I try to hide my heart from it, try to run from it, but I have found that the best thing to do with the pain of a heart that hurts is to stare it in the face and accept that the pain is part of the living.
if we have no pain, there is no tension between wonderful and no good very bad days, just flat lining... going through the motions, but not engaged or connected.
Today, my heart hurts because of the pain I see in the eyes of others, They have broken hearts, broken bodies, broken souls so dried up and parched that it give rise to the appearance that with one good wind---well one good wind might just cause the entire heart to crumble up into tiny molecules and atoms and be cast off into some distant future to create other things.
The pain resonates inside me, i feel theirs as deeply as i feel my own... it vibrates and pounds and pierces my soul. I feel the tears form, but yet the well continues to grow deeper and pool in that secret stagnant place way down deep in the bottom niche of my heart home.
I really don't want a share of theirs, but when I peer into their eyes, feel the agony of their pooled tears, hear the crackle in the voice, my... I can't help it, it sends the arrow piercing into the center, opens me up, and their stuff enters into my world.
I'm okay with holding a bit of their pain for awhile, for a few minutes, a few hours, a day or so, until they get over the edge, then I give it back... let them hold it. it takes alot of energy, but it's part of my calling, to stand in calm silent presence to bear it up to the Mystery of the Universe....
it's a heavy business these connections of the heart....
heavy
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Posted Sep 13, 2011 05:30 AM
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Each of us is carving a stone, erecting a column, or cutting a piece of stained glass in the construction of something much bigger than ourselves. < /span>
Each morning we rise up, begin our day never really giving notice or thought to our impact on the bigger picture of the world.
We eat our breakfast,< /div> brush our teeth, brush the sleep from our eyes < div style="text-align: center;"> and go about our daily buisinessworking, cleaning,< /span> going... clinging to our routine,our daily grind, our list of "to do's" all the while coloring the world in some form or fashion,building a piece of something we cannot see or understand.
Each morningwe are called,awakened by a Univeral Call, Beckoned to off our gift < div style="text-align: center;"> to the world, serve in a bigger way, < div style="text-align: center;"> become aware of our surroundings and most importantly develope an understanding about the impact we have on the world, our neighbor,our tiny little corner of the street.
The Sun Shines .... Live into this awarenessand color the world with a color uniquely yours.
Let the light Shine through!
Have a great Day... blessings< /span> and hugs...
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Posted Sep 12, 2011 08:41 PM
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I know I have fooled everybody. You know what my dream is? ... My dream ... is to be able to dance free and proud. Under my own name. For all the world to see. That's my dream. from the movie- Shall We Dance?
There comes a time, when our dream catcher becomes heavy, filters clogged and jammed by the opinions thoughts and visions of some creator other than ourself.
Strained, pulled, about to burst, threads beginning to unwind and suddenly there we stand one moment in time at a pivotal place in our lives.... with a decision to think and make. do we dream and live the dreams of others, dance to their tune, sing their song, color the world with nothing but the colors selected by some other dreamer of dreams...
or we may make the choice to take our hand, move away the cobwebs woven by others, unwind their tangled ideas, free our own uniqueness spirit, and allow the dream of a new dance, a sound of a new song, a swirling of our own unique colors to mix, sing, dance and unwind into reality.
May your dream catcher become open so you can be free to be ............ uniquely creatively who you are for that is enough!
blessings to you all!
Go on... start now.. dream your own dream!!!!!
Hugs
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Posted Sep 11, 2011 07:27 PM
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" We are one big family of people, trying to make our way through the unfolding puzzle of life. We are all connected to one another in the heart. Connecting with the ultimate source of love is possible through discovering the hidden power in your heart." Sara Paddison, Hidden Power of the Heart
I stood in my kitchen this afternoon after shucking some ears of corn, cutting off the kernels and scraping the cob. As I put the knife up to a cob, without notice, without even knowing what I was doing.... It happened.... the visual of corn coming off in rolls, of juice spraying my arms and eyes, the sweet smell of freshness.... I thought of the person who planted the seed, picked the corn, thought of the water that fell from the sky and the sun that helped the seed birth forth into delicious wonder.... and suddenly in a flash of time, there I sat.... at that old gray and white metal table in the center of my great-grandmother's kitchen.... it was a warm memory hot corn piled high, the little box radio playing on the country station, granite buckets to capture the kernels we were cutting off... mom, my little sister and my fatma...... fatma was the motherly matriarch who felt it was her job to pass on the secret family freezing and canning recipe... she ran the show... I was never allowed to cut the corn off the cob--that was for fatma and mama-- my sister and I had the unglamorous job of taking the cobs that they had cut the kernels off of and use a butter knife to scrape the remaining kernel and juice out into the granite pail holding the delectable goodness.
I was only there in my mind for a few minutes today... but it was a good visit... a refreshing memory of sort... a reminder of days when life was slow and families sat around the table and took time to know each other, laugh with each other and tell ancestral stories of days gone by....
I cherish the memory of my fatma's table... lots happened there... wonderful food...like baked ham, home grown green beans and the best German chocolate cake I've ever eaten was cooked and served by the hands of a woman born in 1900. I loved her deeply and wonder where I'd have been had I not sat at that table in her kitchen.. It was on that kitchen table that she kept her tattered bible with a piece of an envelope marking her place every day. She'd sit there first thing with her steaming coffee and I'd watch her read through her thick glasses and see her lips moving as her eyes passed through the lines of the passages. I guess, I came to understand the depths of God's love right there at that metal table, I was fed, I was nurtured, I was taught and corrected there and most importantly I was loved into the depths of the wonder of family and faith and love.
I'm thankful today for a corn cob moment that
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